Frozen Barriers

by Sara Shirley

  Jeremy brings his hands up to my hips just over my yoga pants and picks me up and tosses me back onto his bed as he leans over me. “I said I’d be patient, but I’m not made of steel when you say things like that,” he says with a stern face, rubbing his hand down my thigh as he continues to say, “There are so many things running through my mind right now, but I’m not sure you are ready for what they are.” I’m not sure I’m prepared for any of those things either, but I won’t lie and say I’m not attracted to Jeremy. I’m just nervous I’m not as experienced. Everything will be a new endeavor for me. There is only so much you can learn on the Internet.

  I’m taken away from my thoughts when I feel Jeremy slide his hand under my yoga top as his thumb rubs the skin just above my hip. I can do this. Can’t I? For some reason, the more he touches me, the harder it is for me to resist reaching out and touching him. Why am I mentally holding back? I have a gorgeous guy in front of me who’s into me, making my heart race, and I need to let go and free my inhibitions.

  His eyes are still locked with mine when he whispers, “Stop thinking in that head of yours. You asked what you could do for me, so I’m telling you. You’re going on a date with me Friday night.”

  I nod my head and say, “Yes, I’ll go out with you, although we really have done this all backward. Haven’t we? We kissed. I saw you naked and now we go on a date. I really thought those items would be in a different order. Since we’re here now, maybe we could do some other things backward.” Seriously, where did my inner sex kitten come from? I’m starting to like her!

  The look on Jeremy’s face is probably that of utter shock. He glances over at his clock and then back to me. “Fuck it! I’ll be a little late. When you have requests like that, I’ll be more than happy to adhere to them. So, what were you thinking?”

  Shit! He wants me to tell him what I want us to do. I have things in my mind, but I’m not sure how to physically word them. I know we’re not ready to take this that far, but a little fun won’t hurt. I decide showing him may be a better plan of attack instead of trying to be all seductive vocally. Slowly lowering my hands to the hem of my top, I cross my arms and lift my shirt over my head, never losing eye contact with Jeremy as I toss itonto the floor. His eyes go wide, and his hands go to reach my neck as he brings his lips down over mine. I can feel his desire for me with every swipe of his tongue.

  His hands roam from my neck down toward my breasts. I look at him and can tell he’s making sure I’m all right with what he’s doing. Nodding my approval, he pulls back from me, removing his shirt as well. His firm abs and toned arms are on full display again in front of me, except this time I’m reaching out to touch him, pulling him so his body is flush with mine. Tingling sensations shoot throughout my body in response to our closeness. Reaching for his hand, I slowly bring it up to touch my breast, and he lets out a hiss as he begins kissing my neck. As he gently massages and rubs my nipple, I hear him say, “Emily, you’re driving me absolutely insane. You’re sexy as hell, and you’re going to have to tell me when to stop because I’m about to lose control around you.” When I feel his erection rubbing up against my leg, I know this is real and it feels incredible.

  A moan escapes my mouth, and without thinking, I arch my back into his still kneading hands. His lips crash into mine, and I run my hand down his back and over his jean-covered ass. Pushing his leg between my thighs, I open my legs to let him in. The more he kisses my lips, along with the feeling of his chest rubbing across my nipples, the more I get aroused. Wetness floods through my core, and I’m not sure what or how I’m going to get the release I need.

  Jeremy looks at me and says, “Tell me what you need, Emily.”

  I slowly move my hand to rub the front of his jeans, and I see his eyes roll toward the back of his head as I hear him groan. I know this is right. I know I can say this to him. “Make me come, Jeremy. I need you.”

  “Emily, I’ll make you come any day of the week. Just tell me how you want it. I don’t want to push you too far,” he says while his face is nestled in my collarbone, slowly placing kisses toward my breasts.

  I need to be bold and carefree, but I know in most sexual areas, I have absolutely no experience. Doing the only thing that’s familiar to me, I reach up for Jeremy’s hand and keep my eyes locked on his. I slowly bring his hand down toward the throbbing between my legs. His eyes widen as I slip his hand underneath my pants and allow his fingers to feel where I need him right now. He looks into my eyes, searching for any kind of hesitation. He must think I’m made of glass or something because the look he’s giving me tells me he’s more worried than I am. Pushing my pelvis up further, I force his hand deeper into my heated wetness. The hesitation that was in his eyes has now been replaced with unbridled desire.

  “Emily, you have no idea how beautiful you are. Please, just let me know if I go too far, okay?” he whispers as his hand starts stroking my arousal over my clit. Immediately, I feel a sensation spread all over my lower body, and my eyes close at the sudden onset of desire for more connection.

  Shamelessly, I reach out and start unbuttoning his jeans, pushing down the zipper and reaching in to return the pleasure he’s giving me. The moment I find it and begin stroking my hand over his hard length of soft skin, his index finger delves deep inside me, igniting my whole body on fire. His lips crush mine, probably to muffle the moans that continue to grow louder. “What are you doing to me? If you keep touching me like that, I’m not gonna be able to give you my full attention where you need it,” he says in between breaths.

  “It’s only fair, right?” I whimper as my breaths become strained. Oh my God. “Don’t say you don’t like it,” I taunt him as beads of sweat form on his forehead. Just a little higher. “Am I doing this right?” That’s the spot, right there.

  I continue my torturous pace, stroking his cock in my hand as his fingers work their way feverishly inside me. His cock throbs as pre-cum begins to trickle from his tip at the same time I feel pressure and tingling surmount in my core. He emits a moan, and I know he must be close, too.

  “Emily, don’t stop. Shit, that feels incredible. Come with me, babe.” As I look up into his eyes, my hand strokes faster as his fingers move frantically. Then, his finger juts up and hits the spot that sends me spiraling out of my body. My hand stills on his dick.

  “Oh my God, Jeremy!” I shakily scream.

  I see his eyes squeeze shut as I move up and down his length again and warm cum drenches my hand. With his eyes barely open, he moans, “Fuck, Emily!”

  As we both come down from our high, the realization sets in of what we just did. Everything we’ve done so far has been so backward, but it feels so right, so familiar. It’s as though we’ve been together for years.

  As his lips start placing soft kisses along my neck, our moods shift. Softly laughing, I say, “Perhaps we could try for that dinner date now. I’ll promise not to drink martinis if you promise to keep your clothes on, so we might actually have a normal conversation. Deal?”

  Lifting his head, he answers, “I’m pretty sure that can be arranged. As much as I want to stay here with you in my bed all day, we both have to get to work now.”

  I look at the clock, realizing I should have left about a half hour ago. “Shit!” I shout. Just as I’m about to get moving, Jeremy’s door swings open and Dave storms in. My eyes go wide in horror as I remember I’m naked from the waist up, and my hand is still inside Jeremy’s underwear. Jeremy immediately grabs his comforter up over the side of me while lowering himself to block Dave’s view of my chest.

  “Fuck, Dave! Ever hear of knocking?” Jeremy scolds. Nestling my body into his, I try shielding whatever is about to go on between the two of them, and the last thing I expect to feel is safe and protected while I’m wrapped in his arms.

  Since Emily left my place the other day, I’ve been on cloud nine. Everyone seems to think I’ve lost my shit because I haven’t been this happy in a long time. After Dave walked in on us, we had a littl
e talk about his night with Sue. Turns out those two love to hate each other, but unmistakably are meant to be together. That’s apparent from his nonstop talking about the occurrences of their drunken night.

  I’ve been to practice at the rink the past two days and just finished getting all my contract paperwork in order for the Monarchs. The few of us that are returning this year are signed in for our contracts for the upcoming season. The new guys are talented, decent players. This happens every year, though, being with the AHL. All of us understand we can be called up at any point, just like that. Chances are, most of these guys will start out here, but will be moved over the course of the season. I’ve been lucky enough to stay where I am for the past couple of years. Somehow I know it won’t stay this way for long.

  Emily has also been busy with her training. I’ve managed to sneak a few texts and phone calls to her, but we really haven’t had time to spend together. After she and I were wrapped up in my sheets the other day, I really had a hard time letting her go. A part of me knew that our time together would be short-lived because of our schedules, but I told her in the beginning she was worth fighting for, and I damn well meant it.

  Courtney had apparently dropped the ball to my mom about Emily, too. Just yesterday, after a pretty lengthy day of training camp at the rink, she cornered me in the driveway before I could get to the door. I love my mom, but I’ve avoided bringing women home for this exact reason. She jumps at the first chance she knows I’m involved with a girl. Since even before that bitch Becca stormed out of my life, I’d never brought anyone back to meet my parents. I want to find the right person who likes me for me. When Mom confronted me, she knew I’d cave and talk to her. It could have been the plate of freshly baked oatmeal raisin cookies she taunted me with, too. What? I’m easy to please, and cookies are my weakness. My mom’s cookies are the best, and she knows they’re her best bargaining tool.

  We were sitting in my kitchen with Aspen while I disclosed that Courtney did in fact harbor some information from her. I was forced to explain that the girl who snuck into my life was none other than Emily Cameron. My mom could not forget that name even if she tried. After that day at the rink and then my infamous summer after high school graduation, my mom understood how much Emily meant to me. She also realized that Emily had the power to break me again if this didn’t work out.

  I devoured the entire plate of cookies while watching my mom listen to me explain everything that happened since seeing Emily at the restaurant. I even confessed Emily’s playful side from the other day. Mom knows I’m no virgin, and she’s also not one to pass judgment.

  Her only response to my confession was, “Sweetie, I know you will understand when I say this, that I have your best interest at heart. I know how much you care for Emily, I do, but remember her lifestyle is much different than yours now. I just don’t want to see you get hurt all over again, but if you pursue her, and she makes you happy, you know your father and I will support you regardless.” I knew they would be my support system if this didn’t work out with Emily. She continued, “I want to finally meet the girl who captivated you so many years ago. Everyone will be here for Sunday dinner, so please be sure to invite her over. From what Courtney and Josh have already told me, I know she will fit in just fine.” As she stood to leave, she turned around in the doorway. I must have been in a daze trying to process everything. Concern etched all over her face, she asked, “Jeremy, everything good at hockey today?”

  “Yeah, Mom, the team is looking real good for this season,” I said.

  “Well, then there isn’t any reason for you to have that worried look on your face, now is there? Hockey is good, and you’ve got a beautiful girl back in your life,” she told me straight up with no bullshit. She was right, though. She always was. Hockey had always been my first love. I’d just have to figure out how to fit Emily in there, too. She could be that one missing puzzle piece that was holding me back from feeling complete, but it was still way too early to think of that.

  Mom left shortly after that, and today is a new day. I’m going to keep trying to get Emily to open up to me, so I can get to know what’s inside the real Emily Cameron. As I’m flopped down on my bed, staring up at my ceiling, I can still smell Emily’s vanilla body wash lingering around me. Thoughts of her lying here almost completely naked, gazing up at me with those big blue eyes and her long blonde hair spread out under her consume me. I feel my cock stir as more thoughts invade of how warm her pussy writhed against my hand and her own hand jerking me off. God, this girl is driving me insane, and it’s only been a week since we reunited. Pulling myself off the bed and stripping off my clothes, I make my way to take a shower.

  Turning on the water, I wait for the steam to envelope the room before I hop in. Leaning my hands against the tiles in front of me, I shut my eyes and let the water saturate my head and face. A vision of Emily’s smile enters my mind, and I feel my cock harden. Reaching down, I start stroking myself until I’m completely hard. I have the image of her beautiful body lying under me in my bed. Imagining I’m inside her thrusting hard, I quicken my pace as her words to me the other day infiltrate my mind. “Jeremy, make me come.” Squinting my eyes shut tight, I grip my cock tighter and feel the warm fluids start spurting out of me. Fuck me! My free hand slams against the wall as my release shatters every muscle inside my body. Opening my eyes, I realize I’d much rather have had Emily’s hand wrapped around my shaft than my own. What is this girl doing to me? I need to stay focused. Hockey needs to be my priority. I’ve just got to figure out how to balance both. I can do this, right? No problem. I don’t want to go through the same shit I did with Becca. I honestly don’t need that type of relationship again. I can only hope Emily will be worth it in the end.

  After showering, I make my way into the kitchen to boot up my laptop and make myself some dinner. The surround sound is blasting some Flo Rida song, and I can’t help but start whistling along. I finish putting together a turkey sandwich with stuffing, cranberry sauce and lettuce. The hockey season will be in full swing in just a couple of weeks, so I need to make sure I start eating healthy again, which also means spending more time working out at the gym. Leaning over the counter while taking a bite of my sandwich, I start reading through my emails. Plenty of junk, as usual, but also emails regarding promotional events I am required to attend for the Monarchs. One in particular is in another week. It’s the annual team tailgate party. All the guys will be there as well as many of the season ticket holders. It’s a good time for the most part. The AHL doesn’t have a huge following, but many of the season ticket holders have the same view about hockey as I do. They just love the game.

  Scanning the web some more after jotting down the hockey schedule for the next month, I start searching out places to take Emily Friday night for our first official date. The weather is still supposed to be decent for New England standards. The middle of September can be tricky around here, but the forecast for tomorrow is still calling for clear skies and an evening temperature of around sixty-five degrees. Tapping my fingers on the keys, trying to figure out the best place to take her, I finally plan the perfect evening. Pulling up the website on my laptop, I get the information I need and grab my phone to make the call. She’s going to love it.

  It’s been three days since I last saw Jeremy, and it’s not as though I have had much of a choice. Neither one of us has had any spare time in our schedules since I left his place after our intense bedroom escapade the other day. I spent much of the beginning of the week holed up in my apartment trying to find the exact music to fit my mood this season. It took several hours of searching, but I found it, and it will be a program I can let emotions flow and immerse myself into the free skate that represents who I am. The music speaks to me, and I know it is the right choice.

  My mother decided to show up in Boston yesterday to critique my progress during my all day training and choreography practice. Needless to say, she wasn’t impressed; she never is. I’m only glad she doesn’t
make it an everyday occurrence to check on me. She’s a distraction and even the coaches notice, but they never say anything because she signs their paychecks. I did a full run-through of the program just to see how it flowed with the music, and for the first time in a long time, I was happy with it. Then, I heard my mother chime in from the bleachers.

  “Emily Cameron! This year is the biggest year of your career, and you are going to go on national television and perform that program? Please tell me you aren’t serious.” I caught all my coaches rolling their eyes, and a hint of anger began to boil within me. I’ve never given a shit about my mother’s opinion of my skating, but I’ve also never said anything to make her see my displeasure. I’ve always put on the fake smile and just gone back out there, fixed what needed fixing and moved on. Not this time, this program was mine and I would not let her badger me about it!

  Placing my hands on my hips, I came to a sudden halt in the middle of the ice and turned to face her. With every ounce of strength I could muster, I yelled, “Yes, Mother! I will be performing this program all season long, and you will not say another word about it. This is my program, not yours, and for once I’m happy with the outcome and how it makes me feel!”

  The rink went dead silent as my last word echoed through the building. My coaches appeared aghast that I finally spoke up to her, or was it they thought I had lost my mind? Either way, my heart was hammering in my chest. I’d never once spoken to my mother like that, and I noticed a remorseless look in her eyes. Turning around again, I skated toward Suzy. She gave mea look that I could tell was questioning if I were all right. Nodding back at her with a slight smile, I spun around to make my way back toward center ice.