Frozen Barriers

by Sara Shirley

  Standing there in the middle of the room, rubbing my hands over my face, I let out a long breath as I say the words that will ultimately kill my relationship with Emily. “I’ve just been called up to the LA Kings. I leave in two days.”

  The rest of the afternoon is a blur. I remember everyone asking me questions about what will happen once I leave. I don’t have any of those answers. I know I should be absolutely ecstatic about having my dream of playing for the NHL come true, but that dream was before I had Emily in my life. Dave tells me not to say anything tonight, which means I’ll have to tell her tomorrow that I’m leaving the next day. No matter what I do or how I say it, I am still leaving on a plane in two days away from Emily, again.

  I call home during one of the breaks, thinking my parents might offer some advice. Mom answers and asks about Emily and how it is going. Before I can respond, I tell her to put Dad on the other cordless phone in the house. After I share the news about getting the call up to the Kings, I hear them shouting in excitement at first. Then, I hear Mom say with such torment in her voice, “Oh, Jeremy. Does Emily know?”

  Mom tries to talk through every possible scenario she can to make this as pain-free as possible with Emily. None of them end with her coming with me to LA for the duration of the season. I have to let them go on the phone because Emily’s group is about to take the ice. They say they are happy for me and wish me all the luck in handling the news with Emily.

  About fifteen minutes later, I see Emily emerge from the tunnel as Courtney points her out. I have been going back and forth with Dave on how to break the news to her. Once I see her take the ice, all arguments stop. She has a new dress for the long program, and I haven’t seen it yet. She told me before she left this morning that it is a custom-made Vera Yang or something like that. I had no idea what she meant, but the dress is stunning on her. She looks nervous for the first time since I’ve met her. Sitting here, I’m speechless. I can barely breathe as I feel each and every one of her nerves with her. Her coach gives her one last word of advice and then she makes her way toward center ice as her name is announced.

  The music starts, and she moves gracefully with each new pitch of the violin that echoes through the arena. I am in a trance as I watch her move effortlessly through each move. Tears sting my eyes as she transforms fluidly into the character she represents. Are we the star-crossed lovers never meant to spend eternity together? Emily comes out of her final spin before gliding across the ice, holding her hand to her heart. All of us stand and yell as she takes her bows on the ice. How am I ever going to leave her in two days?

  I stand on the podium accepting my gold medal proudly as my friends stand at ice level. After “The National Anthem” is played, I skate over to everyone as they give me big bear hugs over the boards. Jeremy gives me a kiss, and I can tell something is off, but can’t place it.

  They all plan to meet at The Greatest Bar for a drink before heading home. I tell them I’ll meet them out at the front parking lot once I am done changing and packing my car. As I shut my trunk, I begin walking toward the front gate. Snow is falling at a steady pace, but nothing a person from New England can’t handle. Jeremy is standing there all bundled up with his winter cap and winter coat. His stance straightens when he sees me getting closer.

  “So, how does it feel to be the United States Figure Skating Champion?” he asks after placing a kiss on my cheek.

  “I don’t know. No different than I felt before I won,” I say as we walk hand in hand toward the bar.

  When we enter The Greatest Bar, I am shocked at how packed it is. There is a private party on the third floor, so everyone is packed on the first two floors. The gigantic screen over the bar on the first floor can be seen all the way up to the second floor balcony seating area. Dave, Sue, and Courtney are on the second floor sitting in a section with comfy sofa seats, trying to talk over the loud music and array of conversations going on around them. When they see Jeremy and me approach, they get up except for Sue who stays seated sipping her club soda with her hand on her little baby bump. I make my way to sit next to her, giving her a soft hug.

  “You feeling ok?” I ask her with a concerned eye.

  “Yeah, just tired. It’s been a long day, and this one keeps pushing on my bladder, which doesn’t help when there is only one bathroom on the floor,” Sue says, stifling back a yawn. “If you want, I’ll take you home, and these guys can stay a little longer. I’m pretty exhausted, too. One drink and we’ll get out of here.”

  She nods and turns to Dave to tell him she is leaving with me after my drink. “You sure?” Dave asks me.

  “Yeah, it’s fine. I’m beat as it is. Plus, with the snow, it’s going to be a slow drive home anyway.”

  Courtney comes over to hand me my drink. “So, you won’t believe this douche bag over there.” She points over her shoulder at this tall, ruggedly good-looking guy who’s standing with a skinny attractive brunette and another guy who makes my mouth water just thinking about what he’s hiding underneath his clothes. The guy catches me looking in his direction as his eyes lock with mine. Unfortunately, it is the douche bag that Courtney was pointing at that makes his way toward us. Shit. Dave gets up to head downstairs with Jeremy to grab another drink since the waitress is taking too long for their own drinks, and Jeremy leans down to say he’ll be right back. After waving him off to let him know I’ll be fine, he makes his way through the crowd and out of sight.

  Still sipping my drink, I warn Courtney that her D-Bag is making his way toward her again. God what is in this thing? It’s yummy, I think as I look down at my drink.

  Courtney shouts over the music, seeing me looking at the cocktail in my hands. “They’re called Pink Panthers. Aren’t they fabulous?” She moves her hips to the music while sipping through her straw as the guy comes up behind her.

  “Hey, ladies. How are you all doin’ tonight? Name’s Luke. You girls from around here or out of town?”

  Courtney turns to him. “Listen, buddy. You already grabbed my ass once tonight, so you can take your wandering hand elsewhere.” Courtney waves at him to scoot.

  “Damn, girl, you are a feisty one. Are you that crazy in bed, too? ‘Cuz I know I already made you scream once tonight, what’s one more time?” Oh, shit. If there’s one thing I know, you don’t mess with a Page. Luke never sees the knee to his groin until he is hunched over the seat next to where Courtney is standing. I notice the other two people Luke is with scurry toward us.

  The girl comes over first and eyes the three of us before saying, “Oh my God! Was he trying to hit on all of you? Luke! Didn’t hitting on Piper teach you anything?” The hot guy behind her grabs Luke and takes him elsewhere.

  The girl sits next to Courtney. “I’m so sorry about him. He tends to be an ass sometimes, but he really is a good guy. He’s just having a rough couple of months, but that was one hell of a crotch shot you gave him. It totally made my night. I better go check on them. Again, I’m so sorry.” The girl waves as she takes off to find the guys.

  Sue starts to get antsy next to me. I can see she’s uncomfortable, and I know I need to get her home. Leaning toward Courtney to grab her attention, I say, “Hey, let’s find the guys. I’m going to take Sue home.” She nods as she looks at Sue.

  “Are you ready to get out of here?” I ask Sue.

  “Yeah, this kid is really starting to be a pain in my ass tonight. I think Itty Bitty in here must not have liked something I ate,” she says as she rubs her belly.

  “What did you eat?” I ask, internally cringing of all the various possibilities.

  “Nothing out of the ordinary. Hot dogs, nachos, pretzel, sausage, and chicken fingers.”

  “In one afternoon?” I exclaim. “Oh my God! No wonder Itty Bitty isn’t happy.”

  While we make our way through the second floor crowd to the staircase, I peer over the balcony to see Dave and Jeremy at the bar on the first floor. It also appears an attractive girl is making herself comfortable against Jeremy
as she’s running her hands over his chest and laughing at something. Jeremy doesn’t look pleased at all about having her there with him. What the hell? Who is this broad?

  “What the fuck is she doing here?” I hear Courtney shout as her stare shoots in the same direction as mine.

  “You know her?” I ask.

  “Know her? Yeah, that’s Becca. Jeremy’s ex-girlfriend from college. The bitch whore who told him since he wasn’t getting into the NHL, she was kicking him to the curb. After her, he didn’t date again until you. She was a real trip, that one,” Courtney says with contempt in her voice. At the same time, Sue’s hand hits Courtney’s shoulder.

  “Ouch! Oh!” Courtney says to Sue as my eyes catch some kind of silent message between the two.

  “What’s going on?” I ask.

  Sue grabs my arm and pulls me in the direction of the exit. “Nothing, Courtney will go tell the guys we’re leaving, but I really need to get moving ‘cuz my bladder can only take so much these days.”

  “Uh, okay, you sure we shouldn’t go take care of that situation with Jeremy’s ex?” I ask, wondering why I’m still standing here and not staking my claim next to him.

  “Nah, trust me. He hates everything about her. He’s probably doing everything in his power to not knock her teeth out right now. I’ll call Dave once we get to the car,” Sue says as she continues to rub her hands over her belly.

  I assume she knows what she’s talking about. She has known Jeremy longer than me, but something isn’t sitting right in my stomach. Trekking through the couple of inches of snow already on the ground, we finally make it to my car. Sue gets in while it warms up, and I brush the snow off the windows. I get back into the car, shutting the door quickly and trying to warm my frozen fingers on the heat vents. She is playing with her phone when I get into the car. “I tried calling Dave, but he didn’t answer. It’s probably too loud in the bar. So, I sent him a text telling him you were taking me home.”

  “All right, is everything else going okay tonight? Something seems off with Jeremy tonight. Did he say anything to you?” I ask as I put my car in drive and pull out of the parking lot. “No, Jeremy had a phone call earlier, but other than that, I haven’t heard anything,“ Sue says as she diverts her attention out the window. I don’t push any further since I know she’s already not feeling well.

  Within minutes, we are on 93 North heading home. The highway is coated with a thin layer of snow, but drivable. My wipers are on full speed, trying to keep up with the falling snow. It also doesn’t help that I am only driving about forty-five in a sixty-five speed limit zone. Traffic is light considering. About a mile outside of the city, I see a few taillights in front of me. Everything is blurry with the blowing snow.

  A moment later, Sue winces and holds her stomach. “Are you okay?” I ask, trying to look at her and the road at the same time.

  Out of nowhere, I see taillights approach quickly, and Sue shouts, “Emily, look out!” My arm reaches out to hold back Sue, preparing for the hit. Headlights are coming in my direction. I try hitting the brakes, but with the snow, I skid rather than stop. There is a loud crunch and screeching metal as I feel my head lurch forward, hitting the steering wheel. My right arm bucks back with shattering pain before I see a bright light and then darkness.

  I’ve had just about enough of Becca the minute I hear her say, “Jeremy, is that you?” in her evil, but nice voice. When I kicked her out of my dorm all those years ago that was the last time I ever wanted to speak to her. After about ten minutes of her barking in my ear, she starts running her hand over my chest as she says, “Have you heard who I’m dating these days? I mean, he’s kind of a big deal. Do you know who Matt Bartkowski is?” Yeah, I know he plays for the Boston Bruins, and I’m not even going to tell her about my most recent news about the LA Kings. My main concern is getting back upstairs to the girl I love more than life itself, the same girl I’m about to leave in a couple days.

  Since I can’t help myself, I have to get the last jab at Becca, just because she’s Becca. Looking her dead in the eyes, I grab her hand, pulling it off of me forcefully. “Key word there Becca is you’re still dating him. Not married like you thought you would be to secure your future. What happened over the past few years, huh? Couldn’t get another sucker to fall for your bullshit after me? Turn around and walk back the way you came in because I’m not about to have another conversation with you.”

  I grab my drink and walk away with Dave, who is rubbing my shoulders and laughing when I see Courtney moving toward us, staring daggers straight at me. “What the hell was Becca doing with you?” she scolds before slapping my arm.

  “Nothing, she was trying to rub in the fact she’s dating a Bruin, and I told her to go back where she came from. Wait. How did you know Becca was down here?”

  “Seriously, Jeremy? The second floor looks over the entire bar. It would be pretty hard not to see she had her paws all over you,” Courtney scoffs.

  Shit. If Courtney saw Becca, Emily saw her from up there, too. “Did Emily see her?” I question, grabbing her shoulders.

  “Well, yeah, but she wasn’t pissed or anything. She left with Sue about thirty minutes ago. I would have told you sooner, but some douche bag, who grabbed my ass, tried to apologize on my way over here,” Courtney says as if it isn’t a big deal.

  Dave pulls his phone from his pocket, checking a message on his screen. “Dude, she’s telling the truth. Sue texted me. She said Emily was driving her home ‘cuz she wasn’t feeling well. I’ll try calling her, but we should probably get going anyway.”

  “Yeah, let me just finish this, and we’ll head out.” I suck back my beer and lay the empty bottle onto the bar.

  Dave comes back with the phone to his ear, shaking his head. “No answer from Sue. I’ll keep trying, but she could have the radio up in the car.”

  “All right, let’s get out of here. Let’s get Courtney and head home,” I say. Dave nods and shoves his phone back into his pocket.

  Leaving the bar, we walk about a half block to the parking lot, and I start the truck. All of us are brushing the snow off our clothes when my phone starts ringing. The name “Josh” comes across the screen. Why the hell is he calling me? Maybe he’s just wondering how Emily did in the Nationals, or he’s heard from Mom about the Kings. Sliding my thumb over the screen, I bring the phone up to my ear.

  “Hey, Josh. What’s up? Did Mom tell you to call me?”

  “Jeremy, I don’t know how to tell you this. There was an accident on 93 about twenty minutes ago. I was first on scene with the ambulance. It’s Emily and Sue. I’m at the ER with them now. It’s not good. How fast can you get to Mass General?”

  My life flashes before my eyes, and my phone drops from my hand. Courtney grabs it, and I hear her talking to Josh as I begin to make my way across the city to the hospital as fast as I can. Courtney is in the backseat, trying her best to get information from Josh, but finally has to give the phone to Dave who keeps rubbing his temples with his fingers. When he hangs up, he says nothing, just punches my dashboard with his fist. I don’t even care that he’s left a dent. All I care about is getting to Emily.

  Within fifteen minutes, I am across town running into the ER with Courtney and Dave. Josh is waiting for us, but he hasn’t been able to get much information from the doctors about either of the girls since he’s not family. Emily’s parents were notified earlier and arrived before us.

  Apparently, a tractor-trailer jackknifed on 93, causing a pile up of cars about a mile outside the city. As the drivers began rear-ending each other, some of the cars in front of Emily’s Audi locked up their brakes, causing her to slam into them before she had a chance to stop.

  Dave is concerned for Sue and the baby, and Josh tells him, given he’s the father of the baby, he might be able to get more information from the nurses. He walks over at the front desk, trying to find out anything he can. Courtney and I sit in the ER, attempting to process it all. How could this have happened? Was she
pissed at me and just took off? Holy shit. I’ve still got to leave in two days. The Kings will never allow an extension.

  “Fuck!” I shout as everyone in the waiting room turns and stares at me.

  Josh sits next to me. “I’ll see what information I can get from the doctors, but I can tell you when I got there, her car was not in good shape, man. There was a lot of blood. I was with her when they loaded her into the ambulance. She didn’t say anything, but when I held her hand, I told her I’d get you to her as fast as I could, and she responded by squeezing me back. At this point, you have to stay positive.”

  “Positive? Are you fuckin’ kidding me? I’ve literally had one of the worst nights of my life so far. First, I get a call from the Monarchs saying I’ve been traded to the Kings. You’d think that would be good news, but no. I’m leaving in two days, and I can’t even find a way to tell the woman I love on the night she wins the National Championships that both of our dreams have come true. It’s going to hurt us even more in the end. Now, she’s lying back there with God only knows what injuries, and when she may or may not make it through all of this, I might not be here to tell her I’m not coming back for who knows how long. How the fuck do I stay positive? Please enlighten me, Josh, because right now I just don’t see it.”

  “I’m sorry, Jeremy. I really am. If I could make this better, I would and you know that, but I can’t. I’ll call Mom and Dad to tell them what happened. I’ll be back in a little bit. Okay?” Josh puts his hand on my shoulder, trying to comfort me as he makes his way through the ER doors.

  Courtney is still crying, and Dave is still at the front desk when I look up, obviously distraught as he talks to the nurse at the desk. Scooting over to Courtney, I wrap my arm around her shoulder and kiss her head, trying to calm her down. All I want to do right now is walk through those doors to see Emily and check on Sue and the baby.