Frozen Barriers

by Sara Shirley

  I see him unpacking as I make it to the top of the stairs. When he sees me, he throws everything that is in his hands into the dresser. As he makes his way over to me, he grabs me and tosses me onto the bed before leaning over me to kiss my neck and massage my breasts. I laugh at his boldness since his family is downstairs, and the room does not have a door.

  “So, what do you want to do tonight?” he asks as he pulls one of my breasts from my bra cup.

  “Trying to think and stay focused while you do that is almost impossible.” I laugh as I roll my head back in pleasure before releasing a moan. Slapping my hand over my mouth, I remember we are not alone. “Shit, do you think your parents heard that?”

  “Em. I don’t think they care,” Jeremy says as he slowly starts pulling off my capris.

  “Yeah, but I do. I can’t have them thinking we’re having sex up here.” I am unsuccessful in my persuasion, considering Jeremy has now removed my pants completely. I throw my hand over my head in embarrassment. “We are so going to get caught. I know it.” There go my lace panties onto the floor. “Jeremy!” I try to yell just above a whisper. Jeremy stands taking off his shirt and removing his shorts. I make a move to retrieve my underwear, but he’s having none of it. Still standing over me, he moves quickly and has me pinned in an instant. He pulls my shirt over my head and removes my bra in the process. “This is so not a good idea,” I say as my fingers trace the words etched over his heart.

  “Babe, there are a lot of things that are not a good idea, but having sex with you is not one of them.”

  He slowly enters me, since he already knows how ready I am after his breast massage. “Hmmm, Jeremy, I don’t know if I can be quiet.”

  “When you’re close, tell me.”

  “Jeremy,” I say, tapping him on the shoulder.

  “Already, Em? Damn, I’m good! Either that or my dick has super powers today.” He thrusts harder and faster, and the minute he sees my breathing go ragged, his lips crush mine, and I scream into his mouth, muffling the intense orgasm shooting through my body. Jeremy isn’t far behind once my orgasm hits. Lying there after our afternoon quickie in true Jeremy fashion, he asks, “So, did you think about what you want to do tonight? It appears you’ve already done me.”

  He’s impossible, and yet I can’t help but laugh at him because I wouldn’t want him any other way.

  Last night Emily decided we would have dinner and drinks at a rooftop lounge in downtown historic Savannah. All six of us sat on cushioned chairs and watched as the sun set along the river. People walked along the waterfront below us, some hand in hand and others with children in tow. The trolley bell dinged as it rolled past all the buildings. I was enjoying my first SweetWater beer while Emily was sipping on her Sangria. When I looked at her, she was grinning from ear to ear as Courtney told her something amusing. Josh chatted with Dad about work, and his plans for retirement in the next year. That was the other reason for this trip. Mom and Dad are looking for potential places to come visit during the winter months. Mom has admitted they could never leave for good. She said she’d miss all six of her babies. I love my mom to death, and the idea that she includes Sue, Dave, and Emily in her “babies” group makes my decision all the more gratifying. Everyone was happy around me, and I knew in my heart I was doing the right thing.

  Today, the early morning sun is shining over the water, and it’s warm enough to walk the beach barefoot and wear summer clothes. Mom and Dad are relaxing on the porch at the cottage. Josh and Courtney decide to head out and do some sea kayaking with a local tour guide, and Emily and I decide to walk along the beach. She wants to search for those baby turtle nests she saw in a movie once. I have no idea what movie she is talking about, but she muttered something about it being filmed just down the road from here.

  As I’m walking barefoot with Emily along the soft, almost white, sandy beaches, she notices a wooden swinging seat. The sand crunches under her feet as she heads away from me to sit. Grabbing my phone, I snap a photo of her with the tall lighthouse behind her. Laughing, she kicks her feet out in front of her. There’s no more pain in her life. She’s knocked down every barrier, and she’s finally able to just live her life as she wants.

  I walk over to sit next to her on the swing and hear the wood creak under my added weight. This swing has seen its fair share of hurricanes and high tides. I lean back to rest one arm behind Emily on the swing as she watches the shrimp boats float on the water. A few dolphins poke their noses out of the water in the distance, and she gasps with excitement.

  “Oh my gosh, Jeremy! Did you see the dolphins? We absolutely have to do one of those tours tomorrow.”

  “We’ll see, babe,” I tell her without trying to make her think it’s not going to happen.

  “What do you mean ‘we’ll see’? Why can’t we go? Did you have something else planned?” She looks me in the eyes, hoping to find some kind of answer. I tell myself it’s now or never. Stop being a wimp and just do it.

  Rising from the swing, feeling my toes sink in the sand, I turn toward Emily and begin the speech of a lifetime. I lower myself onto one knee in front of her. I grab the box from my pocket, the box she almost caught me with until I made sure to distract her with an afternoon sex session. The minute I hold the box out in front of me, Emily’s hands cover her mouth. I see my parents standing off behind her. My father has his arm over my mom’s shoulders, and I can tell she is crying. Josh and Courtney are off to the side where Emily can’t see them. Per my request, their kayak tour conveniently took them in this direction. Courtney has her camera out capturing the moment for eternity.

  Gazing up into her big, beautiful blue eyes, I take a deep breath and say, “Emily, the day we met something changed in me. When I accidentally ran into a blonde figure skater and knocked her on her ass, she had spunk and a hardness about her that I couldn’t resist. You may have been the one on the floor, but you knocked me off my feet that day. Then, you stole my heart a little bit more in high school with your shyness and gentle ability to work your way into my soul. Your laughter and spirit always lingered within my mind. It wasn’t until you completely came back into my life that I realized I could never let you go. You had to be mine, forever. You made me realize life was more than just hockey. Life was about dreaming large and setting out to conquer your fears. Every day you made me want to dream bigger. Until one day I realized you, Emily Beth Cameron, were my biggest dream of all. Once I reached you, I knew I couldn’t go any higher. You are my life, my love, my happiness every single day. I will not spend another day of my life without you by my side fighting for us.” Tears roll down the sides of her cheeks as I open the black box with the carat and a half cushion cut diamond ring I bought last year. Pulling it from the box, I hold her hand out to me. “Emily Beth Cameron, will you make me the happiest man alive and say yes to becoming my wife? Will you marry me?”

  Yesterday, while sitting on that swing, I never expected Jeremy to propose. A million thoughts ran through my mind. Was this too fast? Was I ready? What happens if he gets sent away again to another team? Can I handle the pressure of a long-distance relationship?

  For every negative, there was a positive. We loved each other, and I loved his family as much as they loved me. We had seen each other at our worst, and yet, still made each other happy. He’s been the only one to see who I really am and made me fight for what I really wanted out of life.

  I heard noises behind me on the beach and turned to see the Page family in the distance watching. They all knew he was planning to propose. Apparently, it was the reason for the trip in the first place. I realized I hadn’t answered Jeremy at that point. He was still kneeling in front of me in the sand as waves crashed and seagulls squawked in the distance. I stood and pulled him up with me. The look on his face was that of absolute fear. I leaned in and softly explained my answer into his ear.

  Here I am just over a full day later, staring out the window, wondering if I made the right decision. A part of me keeps telling mys
elf I’m crazy for doing this, but as Travis walks in, I know in my heart this is right. It will all work out in life.

  Looking at me with tenderness in his eyes, he asks, “Are you ready?”

  “As ready as I’ll ever be,” I say, grabbing my belongings on the table before walking through the door Travis is holding open for me.

  Turning the corner, I see the arched wooden beams and the scrolled bronze chandeliers along the ceiling. My eyes lower to see Jeremy at the end of the aisle, dressed in a tan suit adjusting the cufflinks on his shirt. Courtney is taking pictures, Josh has his phone pointed in my direction, and Grace is smiling as she wipes tears from the corners of her eyes.

  Travis grabs my elbow, and we begin walking down the aisle closer to Jeremy. Once I’m in front of him, I turn to hand Grace my flowers before turning back to take Jeremy’s hands in mine. I can tell he’s nervous as his finger starts twisting my ring on my finger. He leans down to my ear, saying, “There isn’t a single doubt in my mind that this is right. You’re the most beautiful woman, and I’m the luckiest man in the world today, because today, you become my wife. I love you, babe. Always and forever.”

  I smile as I wipe a stray tear from the corner of my eye. Courtney stops taking pictures to come up behind me and adjust the train on my simple wedding dress. Today, I become Mrs. Emily Page. I’ll have a husband, mother, father, sister, and brother added to my family. I know eloping is the right decision. Everyone I could ever want at my wedding is here now, including Sue and Dave, who are watching from Josh’s phone at home.

  When I whispered to Jeremy yesterday on the beach the simple word “yes,” he lifted me and spun me around before slipping the ring onto my finger. Once I was safely back on the ground, he said he had one more request to make this weekend complete, and I’d do anything to make him happy.

  He asked, “Marry me tomorrow at sunset.” My mouth dropped to the ground as he waited for an answer. Before I could spew a million questions as to how that was even possible, he said everything was already taken care of. His parents had taken care of booking the tiny island chapel and the flowers. All I needed to do was go to the courthouse, find a dress, and show up.

  I found my dress this morning at a little boutique in Savannah, and I showed up, with just enough time for Courtney to handle my hair and makeup and Grace to get the flowers. She always had a strange way of knowing things. I can’t remember ever telling her what Jeremy had given me for flowers on our first date, but when she walked into the bridal suite earlier with the same flowers, I was speechless.

  I stand here now as Jeremy and I exchange the rings he picked out himself, repeating the vows the minister is reading to us with our eyes locked. Engraved on the inside of my ring is “Always Fighting for You.”

  Once the minister gives Jeremy permission to kiss me, our lips meet for the first time as husband and wife, I know my dreams are no longer my escape from reality. My dreams are my reality. Breaking our kiss, Jeremy’s forehead leans on mine. Since we’re not having a reception, Courtney insists we have a first dance. Only one song seems fitting as we dance in the middle of the chapel lost in our own world. Cascada’s voice echoes through the tiny chapel as I sway within Jeremy’s arms.

  When the song ends, he lifts me in his arms as I wrap my arms around his neck, giving him a soft kiss on his lips. He places me back on the ground, taking my hands in his. “You ready to get out of here, Mrs. Page?”

  I look back into his eyes with a heart full of love and happiness. “I’ve never been more ready, Mr. Page.”

  Christmas

  2015

  Everyone is sitting around the living room after Christmas dinner at our house. The fireplace is crackling and a fresh dusting of snow is falling outside. Emily and I took on the holiday dinners once we bought our own house just after we were married. She used the money from her father’s company sale to pay for the small cape-style home about two miles from my parents’ house. She said she couldn’t think of a better way to use the money. We had saved up enough from our skating careers to live comfortably for a while. We owe a lot of that luxury to our parents who never charged us rent a day in our lives.

  Dave and Sue moved into our old garage apartment, and Mom and Dad welcomed them with open arms. Mom is able to baby-sit Brittany while Dave and Sue work in the afternoons. I have no doubt that little ragamuffin with curly brown hair, hitting Aspen over the head with a red Solo cup, belongs to Dave. Sue has her hands full with not only her, but also Dave. It’s as though she has two kids. Mom hounds them on a regular basis about getting married, and he usually has a panic attack. Someday, he’ll finally see his full potential as a dad and a husband. Today is just not that day.

  Courtney is currently home from her internship abroad. She finally made it to Paris and spent six months there working on becoming a freelance photographer. Mom has missed her around the house this past semester. With Court being away, her little sous-chef wasn’t around to help create new dishes with her. Emily and Sue tried to fill that void the best they could, but both of them didn’t have a lot of extra time. Now that Courtney is home, she’s testing out the photography scene in Boston and working full-time at the bakery. She’s learned a few new culinary skills with the French cuisine.

  Mom enjoys days like these when the entire family is together, and she can sit back and relax with all of us. She’s relaxed now from too much turkey and presents that she’s passed out on the other end of the sofa. Not even Brittany’s high-pitched squeals can wake her.

  Josh is sitting at the dining room table talking to Dad about some kind of legal documents he had to file the other day for the State Police. I watch as he glances up past me toward the girls. A ghost of a smile forms at the corners of his mouth. He’s finally found happiness after years of regret. It might have taken him a while, but it’s right there in front of him. It’s as if the night of the accident something finally clicked, and he was able to let go of the past.

  Mom and Dad have retired completely. They spend about a month or two in Savannah during the winter and summer months. Dad’s retirement package from the chemical company allowed them to buy a small one-bedroom condo on the ocean. They like it, but they miss all of us when they are gone.

  Emily stops talking to the girls and catches me staring at her from the sofa. She slowly gets up and walks over to me. She’s still as beautiful as the day I married her; in fact, she’s become more so since then. Slowly sitting next to me, I reach my arms out as she hands me my little boy who’s fast asleep dressed in his baby Santa suit. Ben is a little over three months old and missed being born on the day I asked Emily out by a few days.

  She runs her fingers over his fuzzy hair as she looks up at me. “Best Christmas ever?”

  “Well, considering last Christmas you told me you were pregnant, and this Christmas you’ve given me this little guy, I’d have to say yes.” I lean down to kiss her on the lips as she smiles softly. I pull away, trying not to wake Ben. “I’m going to put him in the crib,” I say lightly as I stand with Ben on my shoulder as his little arms dangle against me.

  I turn on the baby monitor next to the crib. Watching my son take little breaths as he sleeps, I can’t help but think my decision to leave the AHL after the Calder Cup win last year was the best decision I ever made. I never stopped playing hockey. I just stopped playing competitively. Turns out the Monarchs had some connections with a local youth hockey league and they were in search of a Manager, and given the Monarchs were already working closely with them, I was a shoo-in for the position. I love teaching the kids all the skills I learned growing up, and the best part of it all is I still get to come home every night to my wife and son.

  Emily was finally able to lace up her skates again after many months of rehab. She coached the girls at the Boston Skating Club for about six months. Once she found out she was pregnant, she knew she had to make another huge decision in her life. She decided to step away from the lengthy drive to the Boston club. With a number of fanta
stic references, she managed to find coaching positions at the Forum.

  Once her parents’ divorce was finalized, Emily never heard from them again. Her father was pulled into some legal battle over the sale of his company. Emily’s mother is apparently now living in Denver with Emily’s uncle from what she’s heard through the rumor mill on the news.

  I hear her step into the room quietly and feel her arms wrap around my waist behind me. I pull her so she’s in front of me as we watch Ben in his crib. Sliding her blonde hair to the side, I place gentle kisses along her neck, saying, “Babe, how is it possible to love you more every day I’m with you?”

  “Probably, the same way my two favorite men fill my heart with more joy and love than I ever thought possible,” she says as she turns to look into my eyes.

  “Em? Are you living your dreams?” I whisper into her ear as I hold her tighter.

  Nodding back with a warm smile and placing her hand over my heart, she replies, “The same way you’re following your heart.”

  Walking back toward our family and friends, we know we were meant to run into each other that fateful day at the rink as kids. Had we never met, neither of us would have broken down the barriers in our lives in order to find what our one true love was.

  Each other.

  The End

  January 2014

  The pained sound in my brother Jeremy’s voice as I told him about Emily’s car accident earlier, I never want to hear again. I run through the halls of Mass General Hospital trying to remain calm as I attempt to find out any information about Sue and Emily. It’s not easy when you have your family in the waiting room of the ER thinking the worst, and nobody will give you an ounce of help, even when you are in uniform.

  My feet can’t keep up with my racing heart until I walk into one of the two hospital rooms I need to be in. My heart breaks again as she’s lying there in Dave’s arms; their hands are clutching her rounded belly. The life I should have had. The family and future I threw away when I thought I was doing the right thing for her.