You_Only_Love_Twice_ARE

by Lexi Blake

  Phoebe shoved that thought aside. Concentrate. There might still be time to get out of this, but not if they knew she was awake. Charlotte’s anger at Ian was something she could use.

  She quietly checked her hands. Tied behind her back. It felt tight and plastic. Zip tie. Her ankles seemed to be the same way. They were serious about her not going anywhere.

  Now she had to figure out how to get out before she missed her check-in with Ten. She sent him a text every night to let him know she was safe. If she missed he would likely rain hellfire missiles on someone. She had to talk to her brother. She had to figure out why he would put a kill order on Jesse. Whatever evidence he had, it was wrong. It had to be.

  But all hell would break loose if Ten thought she was compromised and captured. Luckily, she had some time. She could still get out of this without giving up Ten.

  She heard something moving and shifting, like something was on the carpet, slithering her way. Her heart started to race and she couldn’t keep her eyes closed. She would be giving up her best defense, but she couldn’t help it. Something was coming at her.

  Something pushed at her left arm, seeming to climb up her body. And then it bounced and she felt something wet hit her skin as a cooing cry of triumph could be heard.

  She opened her eyes and looked right at a diaper.

  “Tristan?”

  The baby was bouncing, using her bound body to pull himself up and then to do that thing where he bounced and gurgled and looked so proud of himself.

  “No, that’s Aidan, love,” an Irish accent said.

  Liam? She couldn’t move and now it wasn’t because her hands and feet were tied. She was on her side and she could have rolled to get a better view, but then Aidan would fall and he’d probably cry, so she stayed perfectly still. “Do you want to explain why I’m a jungle gym?”

  Li O’Donnell knelt down beside her. He was a gorgeous man with inky black hair and green eyes to die for. He actually looked a lot like her Jamie, but somehow she preferred Jesse’s blond hair and blue eyes now. “Let’s say I’m running a little experiment of me own. Be careful. You’ve got incoming.”

  She felt something patting her cheek. A fat little baby hand came into view and then Tristan was staring down at her, his eyes wide and grinning like this was the funnest game ever.

  “So you’re some kind of super spy,” Liam said.

  She didn’t feel like one now. “Would you believe this is all a misunderstanding?”

  Tristan patted her hair while baby number three showed up, though Carys was more of a toddler. Sean and Grace Taggart’s daughter plunked herself down beside Phoebe’s head and started babbling to Tristan.

  “Not for a minute, though I do suspect Ian’s wrong about you. You see, I’ve been thinking about this for days. Ever since we discovered you aren’t who you seem to be. Everyone else runs around protesting that they knew it all along. Bloody liars, they are. You fooled everyone, but I think somewhere along the way, you fooled yourself, too.”

  Tristan chose that moment to lean forward and give her a big gooey kiss. And then proceeded to gnaw on her ear. He was teething, but luckily the little sucker hadn’t broken through yet. “Are you going to let the babies eat me? I read somewhere that if you lie still long enough pretty much any animal will try to eat you, even deer and bunnies. I’m a little worried babies are the same.”

  “Ah, the joys of Stockholm syndrome. You have a really bad case of it, love. Tell me something. Were you really going to pull the trigger?”

  That was an easy question to answer, though it was made infinitely more difficult by the fact that now she was trying to balance three babies. “No. I wouldn’t have killed Jesse, but you have to know someone else will. Please, Li. You might think I’m lying about everything else, but you have to believe me on this.”

  The door opened and she saw a nice pair of kitten heels striding her way. They stopped right next to Li and tapped impatiently. “I thought you were going to be the voice of reason here, Li.” Avery O’Donnell. She knelt down beside her husband and her blue eyes were worried as she looked down. “Phoebe, are you all right?”

  “I’m covered in babies.” She would accentuate the positive around Avery. This would be so much easier if she was dealing with Taggart. He wouldn’t let babies kiss her, and he’d never sat up talking to her about life and love the way Avery had. Phoebe had kept quiet, but she’d learned so much about strength from the woman who had lost a husband and child and fought her way back. She wanted to be Avery, not be her enemy. “So I’m pretty good.”

  “Li, why don’t you let her go?” Avery asked.

  He put his hands up. “Not my op, love. But I will make her more comfortable. I’ve learned what I need to know. Come on, you little ankle biters.” He stood and scooped up his son and Carys, hefting them easily and with obvious affection. “Auntie Phoebe’s gotten herself into a mess, hasn’t she? She thought she could be the big bad spy but she’s a softie.”

  He couldn’t know that. It might be true but she was going to defend herself. “I’m not a softie.”

  “Really?” Li stared down at her. Tristan was still mauling her ear in his sweet baby way. “You’re the super-tough spy who can’t even knock a damn baby over to make herself more comfortable. You’ve been perfectly still because you didn’t want to hurt any one of them. Face it, Phoebe. You got in and we got to you. This is Jesse’s op. Tell him you care. This will go so much easier for everyone if you drop any pretense of not caring. You love those kids and I bet you love a few of us, too.”

  Tears threatened again and she tried to blame the drugs still in her system. She kept her mouth shut.

  Li sighed and Avery picked up Tristan. She was alone again and she felt it. Before she knew it, Li was gently hauling her up and she felt her hands come free, though he kept her legs tied. He settled her on one of the office chairs. Now she realized she was in the conference room with the big bay windows and the view of downtown.

  He shouldn’t have showed her such kindness, but then he went further. “Aidan needs a bottle. Do you want to feed him?”

  Stupid, stupid tears. She nodded and found her arms full of baby boy. Avery passed her a bottle and Aidan cuddled right in her arms.

  God, she’d wanted a baby with Jamie. She’d been ready to give up work and stay home and be the kind of mom she’d never had.

  Lately when she dreamed, her baby had blond hair and blue eyes.

  The door opened and she heard Charlotte yelling at her husband. “What? Are you going to execute her in front of the children?”

  Charlotte did have a flair for overstating her case.

  “No, baby. I was going to wait for their naps.” And that was her boss.

  Not her boss. God, it had gotten so jumbled in her head.

  “Hey, are you all right?” Jesse walked through the open door and her heart almost stopped.

  And it nearly broke because the way she felt about him was a betrayal. She was Jamie’s wife. She could still feel him at night…except lately she thought about him less and less. It had been two years since he’d died and the world kept moving and she was the only one who could stop it. She had to do that for him.

  She composed herself. “I’m fine. My legs hurt though. Could you get the zip ties off me?”

  “Who do you work for?”

  “I work for Ian Taggart, though I suspect he’s going to fire me.”

  “Phoebe, I need to know who you work for.” Jesse’s voice was harder than she’d ever heard before. His jaw had tightened, and when he stood in front of her she could have sworn he grew a couple of inches.

  “Phoebe Graham. Accountant. 1266745.” She held the bottle, though Aidan’s hands came up over hers. She wasn’t sure how she could ever thank Li and Avery for these last few moments of sweetness. When this was done and she was back at whatever house she would live in from now on, she wouldn’t be the same. If Ten allowed her, she would go back to China and bury herself there. She wouldn’t m
ake friends. She wouldn’t watch babies. She would do her work and wait to join her husband again.

  She wouldn’t think about Jesse. She wouldn’t remember what it felt like the first time his hand had found hers and for a minute she’d felt safe again.

  “Do you work for Tennessee Smith?”

  Damn, but she always knew he was smarter than anyone gave him credit for. She was fairly certain she didn’t react to it at all. “Who is that? Are you talking about that guy who comes in from time to time? The one with the Southern accent? Why would I work for him?”

  “Avery, would you please take the baby?” Jesse asked.

  Avery stepped up, giving Phoebe a little smile. “Sorry. Li and I should probably move the kiddos. I think Grace is going forward with the party after Charlotte stops yelling at Ian. We’re pretty sure the cake won’t last so this shower is happening. If you think about it, it’s really kind of fitting. Shower and an interrogation. It welcomes Cooper to the family properly.”

  Li had Carys and Tristan in either arm. He stopped in front of Jesse. “You need some backup?”

  Jesse’s face was perfectly stony as he shook his head. He didn’t even look Li’s way, his eyes steady on her.

  Pissed. This was what Jesse Murdoch looked like when he was pissed. She’d never seen this side of him. He was usually so casual, so tender and polite with her. When she’d first met him she’d spent months studying him and trying to figure out who the hell he was. She’d envisioned him as hardened and cynical, as though she would be able to see his darkness immediately.

  She saw a little of it now. She was shocked to find out it didn’t have the effect on her she thought it would have.

  Jesse was always sweet. When he looked at her with such softness on his face, she couldn’t help but think about Jamie and the way he’d been.

  She wasn’t thinking about Jamie now. Her body tightened at the way Jesse leaned over, his eyes hard and that sensual mouth of his a flat line. He put both his hands on the table and squared his shoulders.

  “What is your mission?”

  A simple enough question and she wished she could answer him, but that answer led back to the one question she had to ignore. “To keep McKay-Taggart’s books in tip-top shape.”

  “Do you think I can’t handle you, sweetheart?” The words rolled from his mouth, dark and deep and rich.

  Was this the man who spent his nights at Sanctum? She knew what happened there. There was no question in her mind when she dismissed him for the night, he went to Sanctum, and she’d come to loathe the place though she’d never been inside. All she could see was Jesse finding the affection and comfort she couldn’t provide. She’d closed her eyes more than once and been able to see him making love to another woman, but she’d never really seen him like this. She’d expected he was just as sweet when he made love as he was with her.

  What if he was dirty?

  “Do you think if you put me off enough I’ll walk away and let you be? The time for that is over. It was over the minute you pointed that rifle at my chest. I know I’ve been following you around like a pathetic moron for months, but that’s over, too. It’s going to be my way all the way from here on out.”

  Her heart was thumping in her chest, her body warming. Arousal. At least she remembered what to call it. She’d felt it with him before, but Jamie always hovered between them. When Jesse would reach for her, she would see Jamie’s sweet face and back away. Jesse wasn’t reaching for her now. He was clearly drawing battle lines, and something about it called to her. A primal energy started to run through her system.

  “Your way?” Her voice deepened, her body prepping for battle. This was what she needed. She needed him to see the real her. She needed to test herself against him and find out who was going to come out on top.

  “Yes. Mine. I don’t suspect you’ll like my way so it would be easier to give me what I want and we can go our separate ways.”

  She didn’t want to go her separate way. That was the whole problem. The idea of even spending a couple more hours with him tempted her beyond belief. Even if he spent the whole time interrogating her.

  She let go of trying to play sweet Phoebe Graham and allowed Phoebe Grant to surface for the first time in a long time.

  Phoebe Grant was what Jesse would very likely call a brat. She wondered how Jesse would handle Phoebe Grant. “Bite my ass, sweetheart.”

  A little thrill went through her spine as his eyes flared, emotion showing for the first time since he’d walked into the room. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

  He strode to her, his boots sounding even on the carpet. He scooped her up and tossed her over his shoulder, her ass high in the air.

  Phoebe worried she’d bitten off more than she could chew.

  * * * *

  Jesse pushed through the double doors, his whole being surprisingly calm. This was what he needed. He’d been sitting in his office waiting for her to wake up, thinking about how he would handle this interrogation with some modicum of civility.

  It was so good to know civility wasn’t going to be required.

  It wasn’t so good to realize that the minute she’d opened that bratty mouth, he’d gotten hard as hell and he wanted to fuck her more than he wanted to figure her out. There was a little voice playing in his head that told him to just get inside her and all those secrets would open for him. All he had to do was thrust inside her tight body and the mysteries of the universe would reveal themselves.

  Yeah, he wasn’t going to do that. He was going to do his job and find out who she worked for and then he would walk away from her. He wasn’t going to hold her tenderly or hope she could love him. No. It was time to grow the fuck up. How was it being through what he’d been through in Iraq hadn’t managed to teach him what this one woman had? He needed to shut down and do his job.

  But that didn’t mean parts of his job couldn’t be very pleasurable.

  “Uhm, Jesse, don’t you think you should handle this in the conference room? It’s where Ian planned on keeping her.” Adam Miles’s voice was an unwelcome intrusion.

  “No.” He knew the old Jesse would have stopped, but this was between him and Phoebe.

  “Adam, I can really explain. This is all one huge misunderstanding.” Phoebe tried to bring her head up.

  That was an easy move to counter. He brought his hand down on that sweet, sweet ass. Phoebe had the damn prettiest ass he’d ever watched for hours and drooled over, and now he had zero reason to not spank that gorgeous flesh. He heard that sound, that smack as his hand hit her and he felt her shiver. She didn’t scream. Nope. He’d thought if he smacked her good, she would call him a fucking pervert, but he’d been a dumbass idiot and this Phoebe just moaned a little as the slap went through her.

  It wasn’t the type of moan that would cause him to stop spanking a sub at Sanctum.

  Motherfucker. He knew he hadn’t been wrong about her. He’d thought there was a submissive streak buried under her “I’m a good girl so don’t fuck my sweet asshole” exterior.

  “The only explanation is I’m a dirty little spy and I need to tell my captor everything in order to keep him from slapping my ass silly.” He couldn’t be professional with her. It wouldn’t work. It would only serve to put distance between them and now he could see that distance was what she’d worked for the whole time. She hadn’t let him do more than hold her hand and give her an awkward peck. She’d had him convinced he just wasn’t her type but he could smell her now. Yeah, that wasn’t sweet or gentlemanly, but then that obviously didn’t work for her. “She likes me slapping her ass. Take a deep whiff, Adam, and you’ll be able to tell she’s aroused.”

  She gasped and her whole torso came up off his. “Jesse!”

  Yeah, she sounded like a pissed off girlfriend, but she wasn’t his girlfriend. She was the woman who had played him and then nearly painted her initials on his chest. And he was the idiot who had stood there and almost begged her to do it.

  He cringed a
t the thought of how stupid he’d been about her. He knew he was ping-ponging, caught between wanting to understand her and wanting to throttle her, but most of all, he wanted to get his hands on her.

  He wanted to see just how much she’d lied about.

  “You might want to think this thing through, Jesse,” Adam began.

  He was just about to tell Adam where he could shove his thought process when Big Tag strode out of his office. A thunderous look clouded his boss’s face, but Jesse was ready to throw down with whoever he needed to. This was his op and his…fuck, he didn’t even know what to call her, but Phoebe was his.

  Ian stopped in front of them. “Take her to your office. Do what you need to do but keep it down. Apparently we’re still having a baby shower and I have to attend or risk having my balls ripped off my body. I like my balls, Murdoch. Keep her quiet. Charlie’s serious about this party thing. When did I fucking lose control? She’s not even an employee here.”

  “No. I’m part owner,” Charlotte said, her voice a sharp instrument. She was a beautiful woman with strawberry blonde hair. She rested her hand on the bump on her belly that seemed to get bigger every day. “Eve and I own half this company, you know. And we have all the boobs so try getting around us. Phoebe, I swear to god if I find out you’ve done one thing to put this company and our people in danger I will take you apart myself. Is that understood? You better hope you can prove you weren’t going to hurt Jesse. He’s one of my men and I will deal with you.”

  Phoebe’s head came up again. “Your men? That’s a little presumptuous, isn’t it? You treat him like a puppy you can pat on his head and send away. He isn’t yours and if you think you can take me, you’re wrong.”

  Charlotte’s lips curled up and Jesse realized Phoebe had just fallen into a trap. “She doesn’t like the fact that I said you’re mine, Jesse.”

  Big Tag was frowning at her. “I didn’t either.”

  She waved him off. “I meant as a friend and employee, but Phoebe’s brain goes straight for the sexual. I wonder why. Li’s right. You’re going to owe him a hundred bucks at the end of this thing. She’s all Stockholmed out. Who wants cake?”