Collected Works of Booth Tarkington

by Booth Tarkington

  PIKE

  [slowly]

  Would you mind my being present when you thank her for it?

  ALMERIC

  Shouldn’t in the least if I intended thanking her. It simply shows she considers herself already one of us. It’s perfectly plain — why, it’s plain as you are!

  [Chuckles.]

  PIKE

  Oh! if I could only get it over to Kokomo! And that’s why you’re not worrying, is it, son?

  ALMERIC

  Worrying? My good man, do you mind excusing me. I saw a most likely pup yesterday; I’m afraid some other chap’ll snatch him up before I do. I should have taken him at once. Good-morning!

  [Exit through the grove with a sprightly gait and a wave of his stick.]

  [PIKE gazes after him, shaking his head with a half-admiring, half-sardonic chuckle.]

  [Enter ETHEL from the hotel. She wears a pretty morning dress and hat; her face is very sad.]

  ETHEL

  I hear that Lord Hawcastle has left the hotel.

  PIKE

  [dryly]

  Yes; I saw him go.

  ETHEL

  He left very quickly?

  PIKE

  He did seem to be forgetting the scenery.

  ETHEL

  [decidedly]

  He was afraid of Ivanoff.

  PIKE

  I shouldn’t be surprised. Ivanoff wants to thank you. May I bring him?

  ETHEL

  Yes.

  [PIKE goes off into the grove.]

  [MARIANO and a file of servants enter from the hotel, form a line, and bow profoundly as VASILI enters. They withdraw at a sign from him.]

  ETHEL

  [making a deep curtsy]

  Monseigneur!

  VASILI

  [to ETHEL]

  Not you! You see, I must fly to some place where an incognito will be respected. If I stay here it will be — what you call — fuss and feathers and revolutionary agents. I have come to make my adieu to your guardian. Incognito or out of it, he is my very good friend — no matter if he is an egoist.

  ETHEL

  An egoist! That is the last thing in the world he should be called.

  VASILI

  Ah, so; what do you call him?

  ETHEL

  I? I call him —

  [She begins bravely, but at a keen glance from him stops abruptly, blushing.]

  VASILI

  Bravo! I call him an egoist because he is so content to be what he is he will not pretend to be something else! I respect your country in him, my dear young lady; and he cares nothing whether I am a king or a commoner. Everywhere the people bow and salaam half on their knees to me; but he —

  ETHEL

  No, I can’t quite imagine him doing that.

  [Enter PIKE from the grove, followed by IVANOFF.]

  VASILI

  [to PIKE]

  I have come to bid you goodbye, my friend. Life is a service of farewells, they say; but if you ever come to St. Petersburg when I am there you will be made welcome. Your ambassador will tell you where to find me.

  PIKE

  I know I’d be welcome; and if you ever get out as far as Indiana, don’t miss Kokomo — the depot hackman will tell you where to find me, and the boys will help me show you a good time. You’d like it, Doc —

  [He stops, horrified at his slip of the tongue.]

  VASILI

  I know that.

  PIKE

  I don’t know how to call you by name, but I reckon you’ll understand I do think an awful lot of you.

  VASILI

  [as they shake hands]

  My friend, I have confided to you that you are a great man. But a great man is sure to be set upon a pedestal by some pretty lady.

  [ETHEL turns away.]

  It is a great responsibility to occupy a pedestal. On that account I depart in some anxiety for you.

  PIKE

  What do you mean?

  VASILI

  Ah, you do not understand? Then, my friend — what is it you have taught me to say? — ah, yes — then there is sand in your gear-box.

  [VASILI gives his hand to IVANOFF quietly, bows deeply to ETHEL, and goes quickly into the hotel.]

  IVANOFF

  [turning to ETHEL]

  Dear, kind young lady, your guardian has known how to make me accept the help you granted. He has known how because his heart is like yours, full of goodness. I shall go to London and teach the languages. There I shall be able to repay you — at least what you have given me in money.

  ETHEL

  Professor Ivanoff, are you following Lord Hawcastle and your wife?

  IVANOFF

  My wife exists no longer for me.

  ETHEL

  But Lord Hawcastle? Do you mean to follow him?

  IVANOFF

  [with great feeling]

  No, no, no! I could not hurt his body — I could not. The suffering of a man is here — here! What is it he has of most value in this world? It is that name of his. Except for that, he is poor, and that I shall destroy. He shall not go in his clubs; he shall not go among his own class, and in the streets they will point at him. His story and mine shall be made — ah, but too well known! And that name of which he and all his family have been so proud, it shall be disgrace and dishonor to bear.

  ETHEL

  [sadly]

  Already it is that.

  IVANOFF

  But I forget myself. I talk so ugly.

  ETHEL

  It is not in my heart to blame you. Your wrongs have given you the right.

  IVANOFF

  [kissing her hand]

  God bless you always!

  [He takes PIKE’S hand, tries to speak, but chokes up and cannot. He goes into the hotel.]

  PIKE

  There are some good people over here, aren’t there?

  ETHEL

  When you’re home again I hope you will remember them.

  PIKE

  I will.

  ETHEL

  And I hope you will forget everything I’ve ever said.

  PIKE

  Somehow it doesn’t seem as if I very likely would.

  ETHEL

  [coming toward him]

  Oh yes, you will! All those unkind things I’ve said to you —

  PIKE

  Oh, I’ll forget those easy!

  ETHEL

  [going on eagerly, but almost tearfully]

  And the other things, too, when you’re once more among your kind, good home folks you like so well — and probably there’s one among them that you’ll be so glad to get back to you’ll hardly know you’ve been away — an unworldly girl —

  [she falters]

  — one that doesn’t need to be cured — oh! of all sorts of follies — a kind girl, one who’s been always sweet to you.

  [Turns away from him.]

  I can see her — she wears a white muslin and waits by the gate for you at twilight

  [turns to him again]

  — isn’t she like that?

  PIKE

  [shaking his head gravely]

  No; not like that.

  ETHEL

  But there is some one there? — some one that you’ve cared for?

  PIKE

  [sadly]

  Well, she’s only been there in a way. I’ve had her picture on my desk for a good while. Sometimes when I go home in the evening she kind of seems to be there. I bought a homey old house up on Main Street, you know; it’s the house you were born in. It’s kind of lonesome sometimes, and then I get to thinking that she’s there, sitting at an old piano, that used to be my mother’s, and singing to me —

  ETHEL

  [smiling sorrowfully]

  Singing “Sweet Genevieve”?

  PIKE

  Yes — that’s my favorite. But then I come to and I find it ain’t so, no voice comes to me, and I find there ain’t anybody but me,

  [swallows painfully]

  and it’s so foolish
that even Jim Cooley can write me letters making fun of it!

  ETHEL

  You’ll find her some day — you’ll find some one to fulfil that vision — and I shall think of you in your old house among the beech-trees. I shall think of you often with her, listening to her voice in the twilight. And I shall be far away from that sensible, kindly life — keeping the promise that I have made,

  [falters]

  and living out — my destiny.

  PIKE

  [gravely]

  What destiny?

  ETHEL

  I am bound to Almeric in his misfortune, I am bound to him by his misfortune.

  [She goes on with a sorrowful eagerness.]

  He has to bear a name that will be a by-word of disgrace, and it is my duty to help him bear it, to help him make it honorable again; to inspire him in the struggle that lies before him to rise above it by his own efforts, to make a career for himself; to make the world forget the disgrace of his father in his own triumphs — in the product of his own work —

  PIKE

  [aghast]

  Work!

  ETHEL

  Oh, I am all American to-day. No matter how humbly he begins, it will be a beginning, and no matter what it costs me I must be by his side helping him, with all my energy and strength. Can you challenge that? Isn’t it true?

  PIKE

  I can’t deny it — that’s what any good and brave woman ought to feel.

  ETHEL

  And since it has to be done, it must be done at once. I haven’t seen Almeric since last night; I must see him now.

  PIKE

  [grimly]

  He’s not here just now.

  [HORACE enters; stands in the doorway unobserved, listening.]

  ETHEL

  I’ve shirked facing him to-day. He has always been so light and gay, I have dreaded to see him bending under this blow, shamed and overcome. Now it is my duty to see him, to show him how he can hold up his head in spite of it!

  PIKE

  I agree, it’s your duty —

  ETHEL

  [eagerly, but tremulously]

  That means that you — as my guardian — think I am right?

  PIKE

  I agree to it, I said.

  ETHEL

  [excited]

  Then that must mean that you consent —

  PIKE

  It does — I give my consent to your marriage.

  ETHEL

  [shocked and frightened]

  You do?

  PIKE

  I place it in your hands.

  HORACE

  [vehemently interrupting]

  I protest against this. She’s talking like a romantic schoolgirl. And I for one won’t bear it — and I won’t allow it!

  ETHEL

  Too late — he’s consented.

  [With a half-choked, sudden sob she runs into the hotel.]

  HORACE

  [turning furiously on PIKE]

  I tell you I shall not permit her to throw herself away!

  PIKE

  Look here, who’s the guardian of this girl?

  HORACE

  A magnificent guardian you are! You came here to protect her from something you thought rotten; now we all know it’s rotten, you hand her over!

  [Turns with a short, bitter laugh, walks up stage, then comes back.]

  By Jove! I shouldn’t be surprised if you consent to the settlement, too!

  PIKE

  [solemnly]

  My son, I shouldn’t be surprised if I did.

  HORACE

  Is the world topsy-turvy? Have I gone crazy?

  [With accusing finger pointed at PIKE.]

  I’ll bet my soul that’ll disgust her as much as it does me!

  PIKE

  My son, I shouldn’t be surprised if it would.

  HORACE

  [staring at him]

  By the Lord, but you play a queer game, Mr. Pike!

  PIKE

  Oh, I’m jest crossing the Rubicon. Your father used to have a saying: “If you’re going to cross the Rubicon, cross it. Don’t wade out to the middle and stand there; you only get hell from both banks.”

  [Enter LADY CREECH from the hotel.]

  LADY CREECH

  [testily]

  Mr. Granger-Simpson, have you seen my nephew?

  HORACE

  No; I’ve rather avoided that, if you don’t mind my saying so.

  LADY CREECH

  Mr. Granger-Simpson!

  HORACE

  I’m sorry, Lady Creech, but I’ve had a most awful shaking-up, and I’m almost thinking of going back home with Mr. Pike. I rather think he’s about right in his ideas. You know we abused him, not only for himself, but for his vulgar friend; yet his vulgar friend turned out to be a grand-duke — and look at what our friends turned out to be.

  [Goes rapidly into the hotel.]

  [ALMERIC’S voice is heard from the grove. “Come along! There’s a good fellow!”]

  LADY CREECH

  Isn’t that Almeric?

  PIKE

  Here he comes, shamed and bending under the blow!

  [ALMERIC enters from the grove, leading a bull terrier pup.]

  ALMERIC

  Mariano, Mariano — I say, Mariano! I say, Aunty, ain’t he rippin’? Lucky I got there just as I did — a bounder wanted to buy him five minutes later.

  [MARIANO enters from hotel.]

  Mariano, do you think you could be trusted to wash him?

  MARIANO

  Wash him!

  ALMERIC

  Tepid water, you know; and mind he doesn’t take cold; and just a little milk afterward — nothing else but milk, you understand. You be deuced careful, I mean to say.

  MARIANO

  [with dignity]

  I will give him to the porter.

  [He carries the animal into the hotel.]

  LADY CREECH

  Almeric, really, there are more important things, you know.

  ALMERIC

  But you don’t seem to realize I might have missed him altogether. I think I’m rather to be congratulated, you know. What?

  PIKE

  I think you are, my son. I have given my consent.

  ALMERIC

  Rippin’!

  LADY CREECH

  And the settlement?

  PIKE

  The settlement also — everything!

  [ETHEL enters from the hotel, followed by HORACE.]

  LADY CREECH

  [greatly relieved and overjoyed, starting toward ETHEL]

  Ethel, my dear!

  ALMERIC

  [cheerfully]

  I told you it would all be plain sailing, Aunty. There was nothing to worry about.

  LADY CREECH

  [continuing, to ETHEL]

  All shall be forgiven, my child. I am too pleased, too overjoyed in your good-fortune to remember any little bickerings between us. The sky has cleared wonderfully. Everything is settled.

  ETHEL

  Yes; it’s all over; my guardian has consented.

  ALMERIC

  Of course I never worried about it — but I fancy it will be a weight off the Governor’s mind. I’ll see that a wire catches him at Naples — and he’ll be glad to know what became of that arrangement about the convict fellow, too.

  ETHEL

  [very seriously]

  Almeric, I think it’s noble to be brave in trouble, but —

  ALMERIC

  [puzzled]

  I say, you know, you’ve really got me!

  ETHEL

  I mean that I admire you for your pluck, for seeming unconcerned under disgrace, but —

  ALMERIC

  Disgrace? Why, who’s disgraced — not even the Governor, as I see it. You got that chap called off, didn’t you?

  ETHEL

  Whom do you mean?

  ALMERIC

  Why, that convict chap — didn’t you send him away? You bought him off, didn’t you, so that he wo
n’t talk? Gave him money not to bother us?

  ETHEL

  [rising, and turning on him indignantly]

  Why, Heaven pity you! Do you think that?

  ALMERIC

  Oh — what? — he wouldn’t agree to be still? Oh, I say, that’ll be rather a pill for the Governor — he’ll be a bit worried, you know.

  ETHEL

  Don’t you see that it’s time for you to worry a little for yourself? That you’ve got to begin at once to do something worthy that will obliterate this shame — to begin a career — to work — to work!

  ALMERIC

  [puzzled]

  But? But I mean to say, though — but what for? What possible need will there be for an extreme like that? Don’t you see, in the first place, there’s the settlement —

  ETHEL

  [aghast]

  Settlement! You talk of settlement, now.

  LADY CREECH

  [angrily]

  Settlement, certainly there’s the settlement!

  ETHEL

  What for?

  LADY CREECH

  Why, don’t you understand — you’re to be the Countess of Hawcastle, aren’t you?

  ALMERIC

  Why — hasn’t he told you? — the only obstacle on earth between us was this fellow’s consent to the settlement, and he’s just given it.

  ETHEL

  [dazed and angry]

  Do you mean to say he’s consented to that!

  ALMERIC

  Why, to be sure — he’s just consented with his own lips — didn’t you?

  PIKE

  [gravely]

  I did.

  LADY CREECH

  Don’t you see, don’t you hear that — he’s consented? He didn’t mumble his words — don’t you hear him?

  ETHEL

  I do, and disbelieve my own ears. Yesterday, when I wanted something I thought of value — and that was a name — he refused to let me buy it — to-day, when I know that that name is less than nothing, worse than nothing — he bids me give my fortune for it. What manner of man is this! And you,

  [to LADY CREECH and ALMERIC]

  what are you that after last night you come to me and ask a settlement?

  LADY CREECH

  [angrily]

  Certainly we do — would you expect to enter a family like this and bring nothing?

  ALMERIC

  I can’t see that the situation has changed since yesterday. I don’t stick out for the precise amount the Governor said. If it ought to be less on account of that little affair last night — why, we should be the last people in the world to haggle over a few thousand pounds —

  ETHEL

  [with a cry of rage and relief]

  Oh! That is the final word of my humiliation! I felt that you were in shame and dishonor, and, because of that, I was ready to keep my word — to stand by you, to help you make yourself into something like a man — to give my life to you. That you permitted the sacrifice was enough! Now you ask me to PAY for the privilege of making it, I am released! I am free! I am not that man’s property to give away!