Stand-In Star

by Rachael Johns

  He laughed at that, tried to chuckle away the tightness in his throat.

  “Either way,” she continued, “I really must be getting up and showered. I have that beauty crew landing again very soon for the final layer.”

  She tried to wriggle out from under him. He didn’t help her mission, but ran one hand through her hair again and smiled. “I need to shower too. Doesn’t make sense to waste water. Let me help you.”

  He saw her chest rise as she sucked in air. She bit her lip and grinned a little. “As tempting as that sounds, I really need to get organized, so I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

  He felt a childish pout coming on but covered it with a shrug and an easy-come-easy-go smile. “Fair enough. Don’t let me get in the way of a woman and beauty.” He rolled over, taking the sheet with him.

  Reading him like a book, she leaned over and kissed him firmly on the lips. “Don’t pout. I’ll see you tonight.”

  With those words, she slipped out of his bed, tugged the sheet right off him in exactly the same manner of the first morning and wrapped it right around her like a toga. She scooped to pick up her soggy bra and panties and then left the room.

  An erection already rising again at the sight of her and the thought of her heading upstairs to wash herself, he heaved himself out of the bed and headed to the bathroom as well. Only he’d make sure his shower felt like arctic rain pounding down on him.

  * * *

  As tempting as Nate’s offer of a shower assistant had been, Holly couldn’t accept it. Something inside her had broken as she’d orgasmed. Something that told her she should have listened to the voices in her head telling her sex with Nate was as dangerous as it was delightful. It had taken all the energy she could summon to look at him afterward and swap quips. So instead, she made her escape and ran up the stairs to the third floor, almost tripping on the sheet wrapped around her in her haste.

  The moment she reached her room, she let the sheet and her still-wet underwear drop to the floor. She kicked the door shut behind her and ignored the impulse to slide down the back of the door and sob. The day ahead was too busy, too important, for her to fall in a heart-broken heap now. And how could she be heart-broken when she hadn’t even known Nate a week? When she’d known from the start that she would never mean more to him than another notch on his more than impressive bed post?

  She trembled, recalling a time in the early hours of the morning when she’d latched onto one of those bed posts and clung for her life as he’d pounded inside her, making her think a life as his sex-slave would be a very blissful life indeed. Until the last time, it had been okay when they were making love—no scrap that, when they were making lust. She’d been too focused on physical pleasure to think about her heart or her mind. He didn’t do love and she didn’t love him. She couldn’t. But the way he’d kissed her so tenderly less than fifteen minutes ago, the way he’d touched her like she was precious and something he couldn’t live without had crushed her.

  Now her heart felt as if it had been battered by a club and the idea of facing him later—of facing the world with him—and putting on a carefree smile seemed impossible.

  With great effort, she forced herself toward the bathroom, and somehow remembered to cover her newly treated hair with a shower cap before escaping into the shower.

  She may have escaped Nate’s dangerous touch but she couldn’t escape her thoughts. Or her regrets. Holly’s knees trembled with the rest of her and she succumbed to the urge to slide down the wall and weep as the water cascaded over the top of her. To hell with her hair, if water snuck in under the cap, the hair dresser—whom she was paying extravagantly for—would have to fix it.

  Her body ached in places she couldn’t recall it ever aching before but the physical pain was nothing compared to the throbbing ache in her heart. She hadn’t even cried this much after she’d found Daisy in bed with Ian. And she couldn’t remember feeling this wretched about it either. Embarrassed, fuming, stupid, yes. But not so wretched she couldn’t imagine climbing out of the black.

  The sobs turned to gasps and she drank in shower water without meaning to. She clung to her knees, rocking back and forth on the expensive tiles, wishing and hoping that someone would clonk her over the head with something heavy and put her out of her misery. Because she didn’t want to feel miserable, not today when she’d have cameras and eyes glued on her. Not forever, which she feared she would now she’d experienced the bliss of being in Nate’s bed.

  Tears streaming like an avalanche, she touched herself where Nate had. But it wasn’t her breasts or between her legs her hand went to. Instead, she reached around and rubbed the small of her back where he’d placed his hand so tenderly at the shelter and more than a few times as they’d trekked around the tourist sites. Yes, he made her feel splendid in bed—reckless, wanton, gorgeous—but he also made her feel whole. Precious, like the center of his world.

  She saw it for the act it was, but knowing was different to feeling. Knowing the truth didn’t stop her heart cramping at all.

  Sighing, she reached for her shower gel on the floor in the corner of the massive shower and half-heartedly began to scrub herself. Her thoughts meshed together with her tears and she scrubbed like hell hoping to rid her skin of the scent of him.

  Sometime later, she wasn’t sure how long, she started at a loud knock on the door. Her breathing halted as her heart stopped in her chest. She cocked her ear, trying to hear over the noise of the water if it were Nate.

  Please no. She couldn’t deal with him yet.

  “Are you okay in there?”

  She let out the air she’d been holding and her breathing resumed at the recognition of Bec’s voice. “Nate said you came up here ages ago.”

  She jumped up, careful not to slip on the soap-sud covered tiles. She shut off the water. “I’m fine,” she said, injecting as much fake-enthusiasm in her voice as she could muster. “I’ll be out in a second.”

  “Okay, but don’t take too long.” She detected nerves in Bec’s tone. “Everyone’s here and ready to start.”

  “Be there in a moment,” Holly called back, praying that Bec would retreat downstairs to the beauty team and give her a moment to collect herself. She stepped out of the glass cubicle and almost shrieked at her reflection as she wrapped a fluffy towel around herself. Her eyeballs looked like a warzone. Never mind her face looking as if she’d spent far too long in the sun.

  She closed her eyes and prayed for a miracle. She wished Stella were here—Stella, who wouldn’t make her feel stupid for losing her heart. Stella, who was always so damn organized, she’d have little tubes of that eye-liquid that made you look better after a late night on the town.

  But she had to settle for water. Cold water splashed liberally over her face. She let the water dry off naturally as she set to work on drying the rest of her and dressing in the track pants and buttoned top the beautician-in-charge had insisted on. She brushed her hair, predicting she’d get a scolding for letting it be affected by shower steam and then checked her face in the mirror again.

  Far from perfect, it would have to do.

  She pasted on a smile she didn’t feel, opened the bedroom door and trekked downstairs to really begin the day.

  Chapter Sixteen

  “You can come in now.”

  Holly’s heart crashed against the walls of its cavity as she watched Bec peer around the living room door to beckon Nate. He’d knocked earlier but Bec had banished him, saying Holly wasn’t ready to be seen yet.

  She was right. Despite now standing in the middle of the living room—which had become her beauty salon and dressing room for the second day in a row—dressed in the most beautiful gown she’d ever seen, polished beyond imagination, Holly still didn’t feel ready. She felt like some kind of Cinderella fraud waiting anxiously to go to the ball and have Prince Charming sweep her off her feet.

  Only Nate had already bowled her over and there wasn’t going to be a fairytale happy ending.
<
br />   She bit her lip as he appeared in the doorway. All thoughts of what she looked like and how she could get through the night whooshed away. Her breath caught as she gaped at the sight of him. He’d looked edible in his usual attire, but now, in a stylish black suit and a cherry-red tie that matched her dress, he looked like an advertisement for Hugo Boss. Geez, just looking at him, she’d buy ten suits despite not having the money or the use for even one.

  But no one else appeared to have noticed. Discussion was bubbling around her as the beauticians and the hairdressers and Bec all bombarded Nate for his opinion.

  Holly froze registering the way he was looking at her. As if the hyperactive women had evaporated and it was only him and her in this room once again. As if he wanted to eat her for dessert. She felt her cheeks go red as she recalled the last time they were alone in this very room. How was she supposed to get through the night if every time he came near her, her mind zoomed right back to the sex?

  And then he spoke and she felt certain the red color swept all down her body, no doubt matching her skin to the gown.

  “There are no words,” he said as he stepped toward her. She tried to read the look on his face—a surprising cocktail of lust, respect and admiration. He looked for a moment, an almost sad smile finally forming on his face. Then he turned to Bec. “Please tell me I can take a photo now?”

  Bec positively beamed. “Go ahead.”

  “Thanks.” Although Nate spoke to his sister his gaze never left Holly. He opened his jacket and she guessed he was reaching for the small camera he took everywhere, but instead he retrieved a smallish navy-velvet box.

  Holly frowned when he held it out to her. She’d never anticipated a gift. When he stepped right up close to her and opened the box so she could see inside, she gasped. Her hand rushed to cover her mouth as she stared down at the most beautiful necklace she’d ever laid eyes on.

  “It’s Holly,” she said, rather dumbly.

  “Aha, just for you. Bec mentioned you didn’t have anything.” He scooped the delicate white-gold Holly leaf, which happened to be encrusted in diamonds and held it up. “May I?”

  Gob-smacked, she nodded. An involuntary shiver shot through her as he lifted the pendant up to her neck. His knuckles brushed against the sensitive skin of her neck as he joined the clasp beneath her hair line. The cold gold slid down to rest just above her cleavage and her knees almost failed her.

  Nate steadied his arm around her back. “You okay?”

  She nodded again—it was all she could manage. No one had ever given her something so special, something that seemed to have so much meaning, something so personal. So why did she feel like crying?

  Because Bec had told him she needed something. She couldn’t start dreaming up other reasons he’d done this for her. This night was going to be totally surreal as it was.

  “Okay then, the limo will be here any moment, but I need to get one photo before we go. Be right back.”

  She watched as Nate scooted out the room like this was a perfectly ordinary day. It helped to remind her that just because being this glammed up was a once in a lifetime thing for her, it wasn’t all that out there for him. This was simply the way of his world. He probably didn’t think anything of spending a fortune on a necklace for a near stranger. He may have been on the poverty line once upon a time, but not anymore. And everything he did seemed to be with the sole purpose of reinforcing this fact. This grand gesture was just another way to prove how far he’d come. She wouldn’t let it affect her. She couldn’t.

  Bec sidled up beside her when Nate was gone. She narrowed her eyes and looked at Holly as if she were an impossible puzzle. “Something is going on between you two.”

  “We’re friends,” Holly answered quickly, “just friends.”

  If Bec were Stella, she’d have seen the truth in Holly’s eyes and heard the tiny crack in her voice, but Bec simply sighed and nodded. And it was true, Nate did feel like a friend. A friend with benefits perhaps? Only she knew for absolute certain that she couldn’t have one of those. Not with Nate anyway. Even with the distance between them, if Nate did want to stay friends, she couldn’t cope with that.

  Damn her ridiculous heart, she wanted more.

  Before she could let that thought overwhelm her, he appeared in the doorway again, holding his camera. He didn’t look any less impressive the second time, in fact her heart positively swooned at the sight of him. She swayed a little.

  “That’s perfect,” he said, lifting the camera to head height, seemingly believing she was posing. She stifled a snort. Men never saw anything how it really was. “That’s the way. Twirl a bit more.”

  As if she had a remote operating her movements, she followed his instructions, placing one hand against her hip the way she’d seen models do. Her thumb smoothed the red silk, brushing over one of the many layered ruffles on the amazing dress.

  “Angle your shoulder the other way,” ordered Bec. “Lift your chin up.”

  On auto-pilot Holly followed the instructions, knowing that in less than an hour, she’d have to put the same show on as she stepped onto the red carpet.

  A few more snaps and then Nate handed his camera to Bec and stepped toward Holly again. “Alright Hols, let’s get this show on the road.”

  She held her head high and smiled a smile she didn’t feel as she stepped forward to meet Nate and take his hand. His fingers closed around hers, warmth swamping her. She had to ignore how right it felt, had to remember she could have him until tomorrow morning and that was it.

  The question was whether she could handle continuing their liaison that long?

  He let her hand go briefly as the chauffeur held the door open and she stepped into the limo in front of him, but he was on the seat beside her in seconds, clutching her hand again. He rubbed what would normally be delicious circles with his thumb across her wrist, but this time her hormones barely quivered. It wasn’t that the lust factor had worn off, no not at all, more that now she realized she wanted more, she couldn’t summon enthusiasm for what she knew was only a little hanky-panky to him. She couldn’t let herself feel sad anymore for him, because she had to focus on other things tonight.

  She wished she could snap out of this funk. Enjoy the moment. Live the life if only for one night, but her brain was too used to ruling over her heart and every time she felt a hint of joy, she remembered it meant nothing. It was actually a relief when the Kodak Theater loomed into view. They’d driven past the building earlier in the week but it wasn’t easy to get that close now. Black limousines almost identical to theirs lined the street, all waiting their turn to drop off some celebrity in front of the famous red carpet. People mulled between the cars—traffic cops, event staff in red and black, tourists scrambling to get as close to the action as they could.

  Nate stared past her out the window, his grip tightening on her hand. “What you’re doing for Daisy is amazing. She would have been so proud to have been here tonight.”

  Holly gulped. She’d barely thought of Daisy all day. But this was all down to Daisy, the dress, the Awards, the publicity, even meeting Nate. She fingered the pendent at her neck, which suddenly felt tight. She was choking up. She blinked back tears, not wanting to cry here. Not yet. Her mascara was probably fool-proof against all sorts of liquid but that wasn’t the point.

  She owed it to her parents, to Daisy and in some way to herself, to make a success of this. Whatever happened tonight—whether Daisy won her category or not—this was Holly’s way of saying she’d forgiven her, because somewhere along the lines, she had. Her life had moved on. She had more important things to worry about than holding grudges now. Like worrying if her heart would ever repair after its brush with Nate Devlin.

  She almost wished she was doing this alone. Without him.

  Stepping onto the red carpet into a limelight of flashing lights and an audience of media-faces turned out to be far easier than Holly had envisioned. It gave her breathing space from the enigmatic presence of Nate.
Onlookers in the stands alongside the red carpet cheered and screamed her name. Someone held up a sign that said “WE LOVE DAISY.” She waved and mouthed her thanks.

  And then it was their turn to stand in front of the television cameras and twirl on the spot to show the world what they were wearing. Turned out Nate’s suit was a Briano—a designer she’d never even heard of—but the female presenter covering the fashion side of the red carpet was most impressed. She saw the woman ogle Nate like he was something on a barbeque and she resisted the urge to reach out and scratch her new fake nails over the woman’s face.

  Jealousy. She almost gasped at the realization and its intensity. She’d never felt possessive about a man before and Nate wasn’t even hers. Luckily the woman turned her attention on Daisy’s gown, asking questions about Bec’s design.

  She summoned a smile and prepared to speak on camera for the first time that day.

  “Holly McCartney. Is your gown made by an Aussie designer?”

  Holly shook her head. “No.” She swallowed, let her hands trail the dress once again and took comfort and courage in its beauty. “I’m wearing a Devlin gown, Bec Devlin. She’s a new L.A. designer and I think you’ll agree she knows what she’s doing.”

  “Oh yeah.” The presenter actually whistled, and Holly noticed a number of recognizably famous celebs pause to take a look. “Is she dressing anyone else tonight?”

  * * *

  Nate’s heart burned with pride as he watched Holly play up to the camera, praising his little sister in the manner she deserved. And he planned on thanking her in private, later. He kept his hand possessively on the small of her back, resisting the urge to draw her closer and let all the single males on the red carpet know she was with him. He couldn’t wait to get her back to his bed that night and he didn’t plan on letting her out of his sight in the hours in between.

  They moved away from the spotlight as a well known producer who was up for Best Original Screenplay and his wife took their turn in front of the fashion police. Nate took Holly’s hand again as they made their way down the red carpet and into the building.