Smile Like You Mean It

by S. J. McCoy

  Missy looked as disappointed as Renée felt. She’d hoped that he’d found himself a good woman—found love again after Chloe—but it didn’t sound as though that was the case.

  Missy looked over at her. “Oh well, maybe someday.”

  Kenzie caught the look that passed between them. “You’re not telling me you used to date him, Renée?”

  She shook her head. All eyes were turned toward her now, but she didn’t want to start explaining the history between them.

  “Wrong!” cried Emma brightly. “Anyway, we’re not here to discuss Chance, fun as it may be. I want to hear about wedding plans! I went first and I would have thought at least one of you would have made it down the aisle by now. I want to hear everyone’s plans; I want to make cake!”

  The question deflected attention back to Missy and her upcoming wedding in Vegas. Renée gave Emma a grateful smile when she winked at her. She may make out like she was the clueless blonde much of the time, but Renée had noted a few times now how well she managed people and averted potentially awkward situations.

  “And you?” Missy was looking at her again. “You are coming, aren’t you?”

  “To your wedding? In Vegas?” Renée hadn’t expected to be invited. Chance would be there after all. It didn’t seem right that she should encroach on that day. She wanted him to enjoy his sister’s wedding, not have her there to remind of the wedding he never got to have with her sister.

  Missy held her gaze. “Please, say you will?”

  Renée stared her, surprised that she would bring it up now in front of all the others.

  “Why the hell wouldn’t you?” asked Kenzie. “It’s Missy’s big day, plus a trip to Vegas. What’s to think about?”

  “Well, I…” Renée had no clue what to say.

  “Kenzie!” This time it was Megan who came to the rescue. She was usually really quiet, but never seemed afraid to step up and say something when she noticed someone was uncomfortable. “Leave her alone.” She turned red as she smiled around at the others. “Let’s put you on the spot instead, shall we? When are you and Chase going to name a date?”

  Kenzie shot Renée an apologetic look before turning to her sister. Renée knew she’d meant no harm. She was just used to speaking her mind and didn’t always think before she did.

  “Me?” asked Kenzie. “You and the good Doctor Michael have had longer to think about it than Chase and I have. What about you?”

  Megan gave her a mysterious smile. “We’re working on it, and don’t worry, you’ll be the first to know.”

  “Ooh, that sounds promising,” said Emma. “But I want details, from all of you. If you haven’t gotten around to setting dates yet, you must at least know what kind of wedding you want. We all know Miss is off to Vegas. Holly has the grand affair at the Wilshire lined up.”

  Renée didn’t miss the way Holly rolled her eyes and stared out at the lake. Laura hadn’t missed it either and exchanged a worried look with Renée.

  Emma hurried on. “So what about the rest of you? Laura? I have no doubt that you and Smoke won’t be doing anything traditional. Do you have any ideas yet on what you’ll do?”

  “No announcements yet. It’s weird for us, because we have to take his family into account.” She grinned around at them, “But I will say, if you’re sitting at this table, you’re invited and…” she paused for effect, “you’d better make sure your passport is up to date.”

  “Passport?” asked Kenzie incredulously. “Up to date? I wouldn’t even know how to get one!”

  Laura laughed. “Well, you’d better get to work on it then, girlfriend. You’re going to need it.”

  “I like the sounds of this,” said Missy. “And I’m in.” She looked so happy as she added. “Mine had expired but Dan took care of getting me and Scotty new ones.”

  Despite Laura’s announcement that everyone sitting at the table was invited, Renée hoped that didn’t include her. She had a passport, but she had to wonder if she’d even be able to use it while Eric’s investigation was still ongoing.

  “Just give us lots of warning, will you?” asked Emma. “The passport isn’t a problem, but I’m working on a release date for my book, and I don’t want it to clash with important travel plans.”

  Laura nodded. “It won’t be for a while yet. Between my schedule and Smoke’s we’re struggling to figure it all out.”

  “Pft!” Everyone turned to look at Holly. “If you need your schedule fixed or to have your life planned out for every available second, go talk to Pete.”

  “Is he still on overdrive?” asked Emma, looking very uncomfortable.

  Holly nodded her head. “Has he ever not been?”

  Emma and Missy exchanged a look. “It’s just how he is, hon,” said Missy. “You’ve got to admit he gets things done.”

  Holly heaved a big sigh. “Oh, he gets things done all right. Whatever he thinks needs doing, whether I agree or not. I thought a wedding was supposed to be about what the bride wants, not what the groom deems appropriate.” She looked around at them all. “Sorry. Don’t let me put a downer on everything.” She looked at Renée. “What about you? You and Gabe seem to be spending a lot of time together. Any wedding bells on your horizon?”

  Renée laughed. “No. We’re just hanging out. I have this minor detail of still being married anyway. My plans involve a divorce, not a wedding.”

  Emma smiled. “Yes, but after you’re divorced? I think you and Gabe are perfect for each other.”

  Holly laughed. “Off goes Emma the matchmaker again.” She turned to April, “Watch out. Once she gets done with Renée, it’ll be your turn next.”

  April shook her head. “I’m done with men. Marriage wasn’t exactly good to me. I’ve learned my lesson. If I ever manage to get a divorce from Guy, I don’t plan on trying it again.”

  Missy laughed. “Oh dear, I think you may have just become a special project in Emma’s eyes. You sound just like she did.”

  Renée knew Emma had been married for a short time to a Hollywood producer who had cheated on her and made her life miserable.

  Emma nodded happily as she looked at April and then Renée. “You both have. I was the world’s worst for being scared of men and hating the idea of marriage. It took Jack to make me see things differently, but now I’m like a born-again Christian wanting to spread the word and the joy!”

  That had them all laughing. “Calm down, Em,” said Laura. “You have to let people get there in their own time.”

  “I know, I know. I just want you all to be happy. Is that so wrong of me?”

  Holly looked at her. “It’s not wrong at all, but as I have already told you, it may not work out that way for all of us. Sometimes we don’t need pushing, okay?”

  As Emma’s smile faded, Ben approached the table accompanied by one of the servers. They were both laden down with plates. Renée regretted not having made time to order something when her stomach grumbled at the sight of the food being place in front of the others. She was surprised when Ben slid a burger and fries in front of her and another in front of Laura. She looked up at him questioningly.

  He shrugged. “I’ll change them for something else if you prefer, but neither of you made any attempt to order once the girl talk started, and I knew you’d both be hungry.”

  Laura smiled up at him. “And you know I usually order a burger at lunchtime. You’re the best, Ben. Thanks.”

  He was so handsome when he smiled like that. Renée had to wonder again why he hadn’t found a woman of his own and settled down yet.

  Once they’d all thanked him, he headed back inside. April watched him go and then looked around at them. “I’m surprised none of you have snagged him. He’s gorgeous and such a nice person.

  “He’s the best,” agreed Emma. “We’re all lucky to have him in our lives.”

  Missy nodded sadly. “Unfortunately for him, and for every single woman around here, he gave his heart away years ago. And he never got it back.”

&nbs
p; Kenzie leaned forward. “Do tell?”

  Laura looked puzzled. “Are you talking about that Charlotte who was going to come to the fundraiser last fall? The only time I’ve ever seen Ben lose his cool was when Dan said that Charlotte was coming. He disappeared for days after that.”

  Missy and Emma exchanged a glance. Then Missy nodded. “Yep. I’m talking about Charlotte, but I really shouldn’t be. Ben doesn’t talk about it, so I shouldn’t.” She wrinkled her nose and looked around at them all. “But… I’ve been struggling with something and maybe you all can give me some advice?”

  They all nodded and murmured their agreement.

  “You all have to solemnly swear that you won’t say anything to Ben though, okay?” She looked at each of them in turn until they nodded. She held Kenzie’s gaze a while longer. “You especially, because you work with him and you don’t always know when to zip it.”

  Kenzie grinned sheepishly. “I can’t argue with that, but I promise. Ben’s been so good to me. I’d never do—or say—a thing that might hurt him.”

  “And I hardly even know him, but I feel the same way,” said April. “But I can go for a walk if you want me to?”

  Missy shook her head. “You stay put, you’re here now. You’re one of us.”

  Renée didn’t miss the smile that crossed April’s face. She understood how good it felt to be accepted, especially after going through a difficult time that made you feel so isolated. She caught April’s eye and smiled in encouragement.

  “Well,” said Missy, “Charlotte and I were really good friends. For those of you who don’t know, her family lived in the house that we now own. She used to come over from England every year to spend the summer with her grandparents. We got close when we were little kids and even closer as teenagers. When she and Ben broke up, she never came back to the lake anymore. She and I kept in touch though. We’ve met up a few times over the years. I was hoping to see her last fall when she was in LA.” She looked at Laura. “Dan didn’t know the history between her and Ben when he suggested she should come to the fundraiser.”

  “Ah,” said Laura. “Now I get it. But what do you need advice about, Miss?”

  “I would really love to invite Charlotte to the wedding. It was something we promised each other when we were kids. No matter where we were or when it happened, we would each be there for the other’s wedding. We,” she looked at Emma, “went to England when Charlotte got married.”

  Emma nodded. “Even though we tried to talk her out of it!”

  “Yeah. Even though we didn’t want her to marry the asshole, we were there because we’re friends. Real friends, friends for life. And friends like that should be at your wedding.” She shook her head sadly. “But how can I invite her when I know what her being there would do to Ben?”

  “But do you know what it would do to him?” asked Megan.

  “He’s not over her, if that’s what you mean,” said Missy.

  “That’s not what I mean at all. Maybe it would give him the chance to get over her or to make his peace with her. Sometimes seeing what someone has become is all it takes to realize that the person they were doesn’t exist anymore. That you can let go of them.” She stopped, seeming as surprised as the rest of them that she was speaking up. “I…I…You just don’t know. You might be doing him a big favor. The only thing I can suggest is that you ask him. I learned the hard way that thinking you know what people want, but not talking to them about it only leads to trouble.” She looked up and blushed as Ben approached the table.

  He raised an eyebrow at them. “I just wanted to check everything’s okay, but from the looks of it I should exit stage left as quickly as I can? This looks like the kind of girl talk that will have me blushing.”

  Laura grinned at him. “You’re a wise man, Ben. Flee while you can.”

  He grinned and made his way to the far end of the deck, checking on his customers as he went.

  Missy looked at Megan. “Thanks, hon. You just gave me the advice I’d give to anyone else. Isn’t it funny how you can’t see it when you’re the one in a pickle?”

  Renée wondered what Megan’s story was that she should talk like that. What had she had to learn the hard way? She didn’t have time to wonder too long though as she watched Gabe make his way up onto the deck. He raised a hand and smiled when he spotted her. She smiled back and checked her watch. He’d said he’d pick her up at four and she was stunned to realize it was almost that now.

  Emma grinned at her. “Looks like it’s time for you to head on home.” She checked her own watch. “Oh, my goodness. And me, too! Listen ladies, I’ll settle the tab with Ben and then I have to run. I’ll catch up with you soon.” She didn’t wait for arguments; she stood up and went inside.

  Renée stood, too. She was ready to get out of here. Laura touched her arm as she said her goodbyes. “Don’t forget, we need to set a date for our lunch.”

  Renée nodded, glad she hadn’t forgotten or changed her mind. “You know where to find me.”

  Chapter Twelve

  Sitting out on Renée’s front porch, Gabe smiled as he stared out at the rolling hills and the last shimmers of light on the lake. He could get used to this. And after his conversation with Ben this morning, it looked as though he would have the opportunity to do so. He’d been a little surprised how far along the Economic Development Committee was with their plans for the growth of Summer Lake. Surprised…but pleased. The whole area was on an upswing. Companies who could were moving out of the major metropolitan areas and spreading farther and farther into what had been the countryside. Summer Lake was on the periphery of that movement. It was too far out to attract major corporations, and it didn’t have the infrastructure to support a large influx, but it was being affected. Gabe was grateful for that. He wanted to see growth, but not major transformation.

  The vision that the Committee had was to manage development very selectively. Too many small towns in California had been swallowed up in suburban sprawl. The location of the lake would help it avoid that fate and help steer it toward a different kind of development that was springing forth in Northern California and Oregon. The evolution of the new small town was interesting to Gabe, and he identified with it personally as its path matched his own. Small towns had been abandoned by the younger generations for decades as they went off to seek better lives in the big cities. Now it seemed the tide was turning, just as his own path was turning, as quality of life in the big cities deteriorated and people sought to create something better in small towns. He was excited about the role he might play in the movement as a whole, as well as in the growth of his hometown. He knew that developing a clear vision of what Summer Lake did—and more importantly didn’t—want to become would be key in steering a path to the future.

  Renée came back out and sat down beside him. “You look very pleased with yourself.”

  He reached for her hand and squeezed it. “I am. Not so much with myself, but with the possibilities that lay ahead.”

  “I’m happy for you.”

  He turned to her. “But what about you? Are you happy for you?”

  She gave him a puzzled look. “I don’t have much to be happy about right now. I’m grateful, grateful to have a job and to be back here while I live through this limbo, but happy?”

  That wasn’t what Gabe wanted to hear.

  She laughed. “I’ve told you before, the intimidating stare doesn’t work with me, Gabe. Get over yourself!”

  He smiled and drew her out of her chair and onto his lap. “I get over myself in a hurry whenever I get around you! You sure as hell know how to put me in my place, don’t you?”

  She looked genuinely puzzled. “What do you mean? How did I put you in your place? I’m just telling you to quit the bullying tactics.”

  He wrapped an arm around her waist and used his other hand to sweep the hair away from her neck so he could kiss it. The way she wiggled around in his lap made him shift position to stop the torment. “You.” He nibbled
on her neck then brought his lips next to her ear. “Put me in my place like no woman ever has, and I would never have believed any woman ever could.”

  “How?”

  She tried to turn to look at him, but he held her in place and nibbled on her earlobe some more. He didn’t want her to see the pain her words had caused. “I asked if you were happy for you that I’m going to be coming to live here and taking this Economic Development job. You said you have nothing to be happy about.”

  “Oh.”

  “Yeah, that’s pretty much how it made me feel. You’re not happy. You’re grateful to have a job and a place to live and that’s it. Right? You’re not happy or grateful to have me?”

  Now she did wriggle around in his lap. Her green eyes flashed as she looked down at him. “To have you? What does that even mean, Gabe? I have your friendship, for now. We have sex, because you’re curious about what two people do when they want to find out if they might have a life together. And when you’ve satisfied your curiosity, then what? You’ll be back to New York after your little interlude? Or you’ll be starting out on your new adventure driving Summer Lake into the future, that’s all great for you. I, on the other hand, have to think about me. You’re not going to want me for the long term. I get that. And I don’t even know what I can do in the long term. Can I stay here and make anything of my life? I don’t know! Can I leave here and make anything of my life? I don’t know that either. I am happy and I am grateful that you want to spend some time with me, but I’m under no illusions that you are my future, and I do have to consider my future.”

  When she’d finished her outburst Gabe stared at her. “Have we been talking at cross purposes for the last week?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “As far as I’m concerned, what I said to you the other night, about caring for you, about wanting to do the things that a man and woman do together when they’re trying to figure out if they might have a life together? I said those things, because I already know that’s what I want.”