by S. J. McCoy
He held up a hand. He did understand. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t trying to rush you or force you. I just want to live with you. Can you understand that?”
He loved the smile that touched her lips. “I’m not sure I can, no. Why on earth you would want to live with this crazy redhead is beyond me. Especially if it means moving into a rundown shack.”
“I want to live with you, you crazy redhead, because I love you. I want you in my life.” He looked around. “And I want to be in yours, even if it does mean living in a rundown shack. So what do you say? When I come back, can I move in?”
She studied him for a long moment without replying.
“For Christ’s sake, Renée. Would you say something?”
“It’s not good enough for you.”
“Come here, you stubborn woman. Why won’t you get it? I’d live under a bridge with you if that was the only way to be with you. I admit, this wouldn’t be my first choice, but it’s where you want to be. And wherever you are is where I want to be. So it’s quite simple really. Do you want me or not?”
She threw her arms around his neck. “Of course, I want you. I love you. I just don’t want you to end up hating me because you have to live like this.”
“I don’t have to. I’m choosing to. And I’m also telling you it won’t be forever.” He shook his head at the doubt on her face; he knew what she was thinking—that they wouldn’t be together forever. “I’m talking about living here. I’ll do it while you get straight with yourself and figure it out. But no, you’re right, I couldn’t live like this forever. So I’m putting you on notice. As you figure out what you do want your life to look like, you need to think about where you do want to live. Wherever it is, it’s going to be with me, okay?”
She swallowed and nodded. “Yes, please.”
That made him laugh. “Good. Now, are you hungry? I need to rescue the lasagna from that death trap of an oven.”
~ ~ ~
Renée clung to Gabe’s hand as he strode through the airport. She didn’t want to let go, didn’t want to let him go. She wanted nothing more than to beg him to come back to the lake with her. He didn’t feel very approachable right now though. His face was set as he marched her toward the coffee shop.
Once they were perched at one on of the tables by the window, she sipped her coffee and studied him. “Did I do something wrong?” She felt as though she must have. She hadn’t seen him smile since they’d parked the car.
His face softened as he reached out to touch her cheek. “What makes you think that?”
She shrugged. “The scowl fixed on your face maybe? Or perhaps it’s the fact that you haven’t said a word since we got here?”
“I’m sorry. You haven’t done a thing wrong. I feel like I’m doing wrong by leaving you. I don’t want to go.”
Relief surged through her; she’d been starting to feel like he couldn’t wait to leave. She took hold of his hand. “I don’t want you to go, either, but you’ve got a lot to do. You need to wrap things up so you can come back to me. And I’ve got a lot to do as well. I’m going to have a busy week between training April and going through the papers Paul sent me about getting the divorce started.” She smiled at him. “But you haven’t gone yet, so can we make the most of the little time we have left? I’d love to see one of your smiles before you go.”
There it went. His face really did transform when he smiled, and there was no question that this one was genuine. “Better?” he asked.
“Much. Thank you.”
“You know, I think I’ve smiled more in the last week than I have in the last ten years. And that’s all down to you.”
“Well, stick around, counselor. That’s what happens when you spend time with a crazy redhead.”
“I want to spend all my time with you.” His frown returned. “What’s this Paul guy saying about the divorce, anyway? Has he given you any indication how long it might take?”
“He can’t yet. We still don’t really know what’s going to be involved; it’s an unusual situation. He’s been asking around, but he hasn’t found anyone with a good handle on how best to proceed.” She didn’t like to ask whether Gabe had put out any feelers. She still felt as though she’d creeped him out when she’d first talked to him about her divorce. In fact, she was a little surprised that he’d brought it up now.
He seemed to read her thoughts. “I haven’t forgotten. I’ve got some calls in to a couple of contacts here in the Bay Area and another down in LA. It may take a while though.”
She nodded, not knowing what to say.
It seemed Gabe didn’t know what to say either. They sat quietly, each sipping their coffee, lost in their own thoughts.
Eventually he took hold of her hand. “Do you want to get going? I’m already feeling guilty about making you drive back alone in the dark. The longer you stay the later it will be when you finally get home to bed.”
She smiled. “I don’t mind. It’s worth it.”
“It is, but I think you should get going. I’m going to have to go through security soon anyway.”
“Okay.” She stood up. “I guess I’ll leave you to it then.”
He took her hand and led her to the doors. “You drive safely, okay? Text me and let me know you made it?”
She nodded. “You do the same when you land?”
“I will.” He closed his arms around her. “I’ll be back as soon as I can.”
“I know, just hurry up about it will you?”
He lowered his lips to hers and kissed her. This was different from the usual crushing, demanding Gabe kisses. It was soft and sweet and oh so tender. She held him tight as she felt tears prick her eyes.
“I love you, Renée,” he said when he finally lifted his head. “And now I’m going to leave while I still can.”
She nodded. She was getting used to his abrupt departures. “Take care.”
He nodded and reached out to touch her cheek. “Be safe.”
She could feel the tears stinging behind her eyes again. She swallowed. “Keep smiling.”
His own eyes were glistening as he replied. “Always.”
She reached up and pecked his lips. “I love you, Gabe. I’ve got to go.” She turned and hurried back to the parking lot as the first few tears escaped and rolled down her cheeks.
She got in the car and leaned on the steering wheel for a few moments before straightening up and drying her eyes. This was ridiculous. She was a grown woman, not a teenage girl. Gabe would be gone for a week at the most, so why was she carrying on as though she might never see him again? She pulled herself together. She knew why. It was because she was in love with him. She’d never felt this way before She wanted to be around him, every minute of every day—and every night, too. She didn’t want him to fly away and leave her, and she was dreading the thought of waking up without him in the morning. But, that was the reality. That was how it was going to be, and she was just going to have deal with it. In the grand scheme of things, she’d dealt with so much worse lately. She just needed to get a grip. That was all. She put the car in gear and headed toward the exit and the long drive home.
Chapter Fifteen
Gabe grinned as Rosemary peeked her head around his office door.
“Oh my God! Who are you and what have you done with Gabe Morgan?”
He raised an eyebrow. “Want to give me a clue what you’re talking about?”
She came in and took a seat, pulling out her tablet as if she were about to start taking notes. “Okay… Well a week ago, my long-time employer, Mr. Gabriel Morgan, Esquire, left this office on a Friday afternoon. The gentleman in question is known to be a hardworking, serious, extremely focused…” She hesitated and smiled at him. “Uptight, slave driver, seriously lacking in the sense of humor department.”
Gabe smiled through pursed lips.
“Over the course of the last week, said gentleman has apparently transformed, into a carefree, laughing, joking shadow of his former self, who apparently wants t
o leave the big city and return to his roots in small town California. Forgive me, but I’ve been finding this rather hard to believe. This morning I walk in here to find someone who looks like Gabe and sounds like Gabe, but is giving himself away by grinning like an idiot. Something my esteemed colleague would never stoop to. So you see, I’m onto you. You are an imposter! And I want to know what you’ve done with my grumpy, overly serious, but much loved boss!”
Gabe had to laugh. “It’s all your fault, Rosemary. You were the one who told me to lighten up. To go have some fun. So I took your advice to heart and did just that.” He could tell she was brimming with questions, and much as she might tease him, she wouldn’t cross the line so far as to pry. “And by the way?”
“What?”
“Thank you.”
“You are most welcome. I don’t really know what for, but if my ragging you helped you make this transformation, then I am one happy little lady.” She raised her eyebrows but still didn’t ask any questions.
He had to put her out of her misery. “You told me to try smiling more and to have some fun. I did just that and it snowballed. I met a woman…”
“Yay!!!!”
Gabe laughed. She just couldn’t contain herself any longer.
“I’m sorry, but I think having given you the last ten years of my life entitles me to ask.”
“Ask what?”
“Everything! Who is she? How did you meet her? What’s she like? What kind of spell has she cast on you that within the space of a week you’ve decided to leave New York and take a sabbatical?”
She was right. She did deserve to know, and, more surprisingly, Gabe wanted to tell. What he really wanted was to talk about Renée. “Hmm. Her name is Renée Nichols. We grew up together. We were friends...” Remembering Renée’s own words, he corrected himself. “We were in the same group of friends from Kindergarten through high school. We hadn’t seen each other since then, but right around the time I started going back home to visit, she moved back to the lake and we bumped into each other.”
“Aha! Is she the reason you’ve been going back there so much?”
Gabe nodded. “Apparently. Although I’m not sure I was even aware of that myself until my brother pointed it out to me.”
“So come on, what does she look like? What does she do?”
Gabe smiled as he pictured her. “If I had to describe her in one word. She’s a mess! A beautiful, wild, messy mess!”
Rosemary looked stunned. “I was picturing a perfectly groomed California bleached blonde.”
“She’s a redhead. A crazy little redhead at that. She has pale skin and the cutest freckles, green eyes, and she’s stubborn as mule!”
Rosemary was staring at him wide-eyed. “And you my friend, are in love!”
He grinned sheepishly at her. “Guilty as charged.”
Rosemary’s hand flew to her mouth. “I’m so happy for you, Gabe!” She came around the desk and hugged him before stepping back looking a little embarrassed.
“Thanks. I am, too. I want you to meet her. I think the two of you would get along like a house on fire.”
“I’d love to.” Rosemary’s smile faded a little. “Does she have any plans to come to New York? From what I understand you’re just here to tie up loose ends and then bug out on me. Right?”
Gabe nodded. “I am. I was hoping you might come out to California?”
“What, since I’m going to be unemployed?”
“Don’t be ridiculous. You’ve got a job for life here, if you want it.”
She smiled. “Doing what? I’m a Personal Assistant, and the guy I personally assist is leaving.”
“Well, you have a couple options. I spent a few hours with Wade and Dane yesterday. One of the first questions they had was what you would do. Apparently, they’re going to fight over you if you want to work for either of them.”
“Really?”
“Yep. You’ve been with the firm since the beginning. You could run it better than either of them could, and they know it.” He grinned, “They wouldn’t be as good to work for as I am though.”
“Of course they wouldn’t,” she replied with a laugh. “But you’re leaving me. What can I do?”
He shrugged, “Maybe down the line you could come work for me out there. I want to talk to you about this job I’m going to be taking.”
Rosemary shuddered. “Leave the city for California? Live in a small town? Sorry, Gabe, but not even for you.”
Gabe nodded. He’d known that would be her answer, but he’d had to ask. He hated to leave her. Now he thought about it she was the person he’d been closest to for the last ten years. But his personal life—now that he had one—was so much more important than his professional one. He felt as though he should feel more…something, he didn’t know what. More regret maybe, more anxious certainly about upping and leaving the life he’d spent the last ten years building, but he didn’t. He was concerned that whatever Rosemary decided to do should work out well for her, but other than that, all he wanted to do was wrap things up and go. Get back to Renée, back to the lake, and get started on his new life—his new adventure.
“Well, you’re going to have two of the city’s best trial attorneys vying for your services.” He grinned when he saw Dane’s head appear around the door. “And make sure you squeeze them for a raise; in fact, if I were you I’d play them against each other. See who’s willing to give you the best package.”
Wade pushed his way past Dane to come in and fixed Rosemary with a very suggestive smile. “There’s no competition, Rosemary darling. You’ll love my package. In fact, why don’t you have dinner with me tonight to discuss it, and then drinks, and then...”
Rosemary shook her head at him with a laugh. “I’ve been telling you for ten years, Wade. I have no interest in that package of yours. And besides, I’m sure it must be almost worn out from overuse by now.”
Gabe laughed. Wade was nothing if not a ladies man. He’d had the same banter going with Rosemary for years; she wouldn’t have any of it.
Dane pushed his partner out of the way. “Come on, Rosemary, you may as well face the inevitable. You and I are the ones who’ve made this firm what it is. Now that Gabe’s cracked under the pressure and is running back to the beach or whatever part of California it is he comes from, you know you have to work with me. With you by my side, we can conquer the world.”
Gabe watched Rosemary’s reaction with interest. She smiled and brushed Dane off, but there was something about the way she spoke to him that made Gabe wonder if she wasn’t perhaps leaning toward working with Dane. It’d be quite something if the two of them were to develop a personal relationship out of a professional one. Now he thought about it, they were very well suited. He had to wonder again what on earth Renée had done to him. He’d worked with these three for ten years, known the guys for even longer, and it had never before occurred to him to wonder about their personal lives.
“What are you still doing here, anyway?” Wade turned to him. “I thought you’d be packed up and gone by now.”
“Just like that. After everything we’ve been through together? I say I want to take some time, and you’re shoving me out the door?”
Wade nodded. “That’s about right. You want out, get gone.” He tried to keep a straight face, but he couldn’t manage it. “I just can’t believe you’re really going. I want you out of here before I break down and beg you to reconsider.”
Dane rolled his eyes. “I feel the same way, but I’m happy for you. Just don’t disappear completely? I have to get to court, and I’m not sure how much I’m going to be around this week. So I guess this is it for me.”
As he stepped forward with his hand held out, Gabe felt all the emotion swell up in his chest. He swallowed, hard. He hadn’t expected to feel like this. He shook Dane’s hand and pulled him into a man hug. “Call me when you get a minute? I want to ask you a few questions.”
Dane nodded, his eyes were bright. “Sure thing. Gotta
go.”
He turned on his heel and left.
Wade watched him go then met Gabe’s gaze. “I’m not even that brave. I’m heading down to Miami to take depositions. So, like err, you know.” He held his hand up next to his ear as if he were on the phone. “Call me.”
Once he’d gone, Rosemary stood up. “They’re going to miss you.”
Gabe nodded. He didn’t trust himself to speak.
Rosemary shook her head. “Why are you men so afraid of showing any emotion?”
He stared at her for a moment. “I know the answer to that one. I discovered it last week. It’s because when we try, we discover just how hopeless we really are. We don’t like to feel that way, so we avoid it.”
“Interesting,” said Rosemary. “And you’re all supposed to be so smart.”
Gabe pursed his lips. “And what’s that supposed to mean?”
“That you’re dumb when it comes to emotions. Any other skill you’re lacking you go out and practice it until you get good. But when it comes to feelings, you avoid them so you don’t look like fools—which by the way—just makes you look like bigger fools.”
Gabe laughed. “Wow. Good point, well taken.”
She smiled as she headed for the door. “I hope so. You’re going to need to think long and hard on it if you’re about to embark on a relationship with a woman. You have to admit you’re late to the game and you really are more hopeless than most.”
Gabe stared after her as she closed the door behind her. “Huh. Thanks!” He stared at the door for a long time after she’d gone, considering her words. He didn’t think he’d been avoiding his feelings with Renée, had he? No. He’d come straight out and told her that he loved her. Well, after he realized that he hadn’t actually mentioned it up to that point. He’d told her that he wanted to explore the possibility of them having a life together. Except that he’d somehow not gotten his point across, and she’d thought he was just exploring the possibility of being able to have a life with a woman in it. Hmm. Maybe it was a skill he needed to practice in order to get good at it. He smiled and reached for his phone. It wouldn’t hurt to express his feelings right now.
