The Daydreamer Detective Braves the Winter
Page 10
Slipping under the duvet and pulling up the covers, I breathed out a huge sigh of relief. His bed was warm and soft, and it smelled like him too, orange and sandalwood. I pulled the covers up over my shoulder and said to myself, “There’s no way Tama’s yakuza will find me here. I’m behind closed and locked doors in a warm house with food and internet.” I burrowed further down in the warmth, yawned and thought, “Okay. Thirty minutes. That’s all you get.”
Darkness.
Flames climb up my legs, the rich scent of gasoline choking air into my lungs. I can’t move. Both my legs and arms are held firmly in place, and no matter how hard I jerk my body, I’m stuck. I try to shake the flames off my pants, but they crawl their way up my belly, searing my skin. I open my mouth to scream, but silence swallows my terror.
“Mei-chan?” A dark figure hovers over me. “I know you said ‘soon’ but I didn’t expect it to be this quick.”
“No.”
Cool fingers glided across my forehead, knocking me awake.
“No!” I yelled, slamming my hands upwards and struggling with covers that wrapped around me like a snake around its prey.
“Ow! Mei-chan!”
My eyelids fluttered, trying to bat away sleep, deep sleep, sleep of the kind I haven’t had in weeks. The lights blazed to life, and I threw my hands over my face to prevent the sudden blindness.
“What? Where?” I croaked out. Where the hell was I?
“Mei. Mei!” I twisted and looked out through my hands. Yasahiro stood next to me, next to his bed, that I was in. I dropped my hands but not before wiping sweat from my forehead. “Are you sick?” he asked, coming towards me. I shrunk away, only getting more tangled in the bedsheets and flailing. “Whoa. It’s okay. You were dreaming. I heard you say something about fire and Tama.” His face fell, his hands out in front of him, trying to calm me like a wild animal.
I blinked a few times, my dream coming back to me. “Tama was over me, smiling at the fire burning my legs.” I shoved the blankets off of me but I found only my unburnt leggings. They were stuck to me with a fine sheen of sweat, though.
“It was just a nightmare,” he said, sitting next to me. He hesitantly reached his arm around me, and I stiffened before softening into his embrace. His hand pushed my sweaty hair back from my face, and he rubbed his thumb along my forehead. “You don’t feel feverish.”
“I’m not sick. I was… warm in bed. I haven’t slept like that in ages. Why are you home so early?” I glanced at the clock. What? “Oh no. It’s 22:10?” I looked around for confirmation but didn’t see anything else. “Oh god. It’s late.” I scrambled away from him, off the side of the bed, and put my feet on the floor. The sudden change in position caused my head to swirl in a whirlpool. I snapped my hand out to steady myself.
Yasahiro jumped forward and grabbed my arm. “You’re worrying me. What happened?”
“I fell asleep. I just wanted to take a nap.” I was still half asleep, in a state I liked to call “sleep inertia,” and with my defenses down, my mouth opened of its own accord. “I wanted to sleep in a warm room and a warm bed, in a place Tama can’t find me.”
“Warm… bed?” he asked, his eyebrows pulled together. I pushed past him and headed for the kitchen, slapping my cheek to wake me.
“I need to get home. Now.” I threw my computer in my bag.
“Wait,” he called, running after me. “Do you not have heat at home?”
I closed my eyes and cursed myself before reaching for my boots. “Of course we have heat at home.” It was a lie, a total lie I couldn’t pull off. One glance at Yasahiro, and he knew.
“You don’t have heat at home. No wonder you’ve looked so pale and gray these past two weeks. Look, I know it’s a point of pride to go without heat during the winter, but it’s crazy and you know it.”
Anger rose in my chest like a lion running after prey. “It’s not like I want to live without heat, Yasa-kun. Life is tough enough living on one, maybe two, meals a day. But I am poor,” I said, my voice shaking, “and we have no money for anything.” His face tightened, his hands balling into fists. I swore at myself. “Take me home.”
“No.” His voice was as cold as ice. “No. You’re not going back there.”
Tears jumped into my eyes, as I grabbed my scarf and coat. “Fine. I’ll walk and take the bus.”
“Mei-chan.” He stepped in front of the door. “Why won’t you stay here? Why are you so afraid to stay with me?”
The tears I held inside by gritting my teeth flowed down my cheeks, mixing with the sweat from my sleep. “I’m not afraid of you. I’m…” I swiped at the tears on my face. “I want to stay. I want to eat your food, and drink your wine, and sleep with your body next to mine. This place is like paradise. But I can’t leave Mom to brave the cold all on her own. If I don’t sleep with her at night, she’ll freeze all by herself.”
Yasahiro swore in English and grabbed his coat. “Of course. Your mom. Let’s go.”
We dressed quickly, and he ushered me through the door ahead of him, locking his apartment. Outside, his car was already running, so we got in, and he drove me home, silent for almost the entire drive.
“Are you worried about Tama coming back?” he asked, as he made the turn onto our road.
“No.” I sighed. “Yes. Kind of. I know he’ll be in jail for a long time, but I keep thinking he’ll escape somehow or some error will let him get off or some yakuza will show up and collect on his debts. Akiko got a dog because she’s worried they’ll come for her. Our farmhouse is old and we’re so far from town. I’m afraid someone will come and set fire to it, and we’ll burn in our beds in the middle of the night. I flinch awake at every little sound, and my face and hands are usually numb in the morning.”
He pulled the car into the driveway and stopped at the house.
“Thanks for taking me home.” I reached for the handle and tried to think of how to end the conversation so he didn’t think I was a complete loser, but he turned off the engine and got out of the car. I jumped out and followed him.
“Come on,” he demanded, waving to the front door. “Open it.”
It was no use arguing with him. He’d just take my bag and open the door, or he’d pound on it until Mom woke up. Yasahiro, as I had come to learn, had a keen sense of justice and what was right and wrong. And he wouldn’t rest until the scales were even.
I unlocked the door, and he marched into the cold, dark house. He pointed to his breath freezing in a fog. “Mei-chan, I can see my breath in here.” He peered at the digital thermometer mounted on the wall. “It’s two degrees in here!”
“Shhh. You’ll wake Mom.” I waved at him, but he brushed past me into the kitchen. I tried to grab his arm and stop him, but he was too quick for me.
He tapped on the ice flow from the faucet in the sink. “You don’t even have water in the kitchen! You can’t boil water.” He crossed to the fridge, and I stood, motionless and helpless. Inside the fridge were two containers from Mom’s workplace and the bottles of condiments and that was it. He closed the door and looked in the pantry. “I thought things were better than this.”
“Yasa-kun, please.” I was ready to beg, to plead, to just be left alone. “Mom and I will get through this. We only need a few more weeks.”
“Weeks? You won’t make it weeks.” He came to me and dropped his voice, the tone changed from enraged to soothing. “Go wake your Mom. Pack your bags. You’re both coming to my place.”
I shook my head, but he wrapped his arms around me and squeezed. “That’s enough. No more hiding. I know how ashamed you must be feeling. We’re past that now.”
“Mei-chan? Yasahiro-san? What are you doing here?” Mom stood in the doorway to her bedroom, looking at us both. “Mei-chan, I told you not to bring him here.”
I pulled myself from Yasahiro’s embrace and went to her. “I’m so sorry. So, so sorry, Mom. I can’t hide it anymore.”
She sighed, my tears finally registering to her.
It felt weak and unappreciative to say that, but it was the truth and I was tired of lying. I wasn’t cut out for a winter of no food, sleep, or heat. I could live in a shoebox, but I couldn’t do this anymore.
Mom and I cried and packed our bags with enough clothes to last a week. Yasahiro waited in the living room, pacing back and forth to keep warm. “My god, I have no idea how you’ve been living here. How have you been bathing?” he asked as I handed him my suitcase.
“I go to Kutsuro Matsu and bathe there. Mom goes after work most days.”
I took Mom’s suitcase as she locked the door.
“And I won’t be taking charity from you or anyone else,” Mom said to Yasahiro as we walked to the car. “I’m only doing this for Mei-chan’s sake.”
Yasahiro rolled his eyes and popped his trunk. “Will the two of you get in the car already? You’re both stubborn as a mountain. Fuji-ko is right,” he mumbled as Mom sat in the front seat and shut the door. “And you’re not leaving my place until I say so.” He pointed his finger at me. “I don’t want you blowing your hard earned money on stupid necessities like food and heat. You deserve to spend your money on stuff like nail polish and getting your hair done.”
I blinked at him, his shoulders squared up as he slammed the trunk. “What kind of sexist crap is that?”
“That is not sexist,” he insisted. “If you want to spend it on junk food or video games, that’s fine too, but you’re not going to live like this. I refuse to let that happen. Get in the car.”
I scoffed, blowing a huge cloud in front of me. “God, you’re so bossy. No wonder you run your own restaurant. I can’t imagine anyone ever wanting to be your business partner.”
A smile flickered across his lips and his eyes softened. “Do you like bossy?”
An image of him bossing me around in bed hit my brain like a bullet train. What a way to change the subject.
“Ugh!” I balled my hands into fists and stomped my foot before opening the back door and getting in. He was so frustrating!
He got in, started the car, and made eye contact in the mirror, raising his eyebrows at me.
A dam of laughter erupted from my belly to my chest, and I started to giggle, laugh, and finally snort, covering my mouth with my hand. Yasahiro laughed too, hunched over the wheel of the car.
“What is with the two of you? You’re both crazy.” Mom slapped Yasahiro’s arm. “Are we going or what?”
“Yes, ma’am,” he replied, starting the car.
Mom and I slept together in his bed, and he spent the night on the couch. It was the best night of sleep I’d had in weeks.
Chapter Thirteen
“Mei-chan?” Yasahiro’s soft voice filtered into my light sleep, this time causing less alarm and disorientation. I rolled over, cracked open my eyes, and he was standing next to the bed with a cup of coffee. My eyes traveled up from the floor, his bare feet, flannel pajama pants, and black t-shirt, to his messy morning hair and shadow of a beard. Hello.
“Oh good. You’re not going to knock me in the face this time,” he said, stepping within arm’s reach and handing me the mug. I hadn’t had a good cup of coffee in two days and just the smell of it was waking me up. I sat up and sipped as he sat on the bed. “You slept on my side.”
“You have a side?” I rubbed at my eyes, completely crusted with sleep, probably because I slept so deeply I didn’t even remember rolling over during the night. “I thought that only happens when you sleep with someone. I usually take up the whole bed, but not with Mom here.”
“Well…” His voice trailed off, and he avoided looking at me while staring into the kitchen.
“How many years did you and Amanda live together?” I sipped at the coffee, trying to cover up my own discomfort. I hated talking about her, but she was a part of his life. Or had been a part of his life. Most days I didn’t believe she was in his past.
“Four years. We moved in together after dating for a year. But that was Paris. She had an enormous apartment and I had a tiny one, so I moved in with her.”
“Huh. I didn’t imagine that.”
“You thought it was the other way?” He glanced around at his bedroom.
I sipped more coffee, cradling the hot mug between my hands. “You said you didn’t mind that she always helped herself to your things, your money.”
“That came later. In the beginning, I was saving, and I lived sparingly. Then I hit it big. I got lucky on a real estate transaction right here in Japan, in Kyoto. I’ve been good ever since. Amanda floundered between jobs. She always spent her money fast, so I picked up the slack.” He shrugged his shoulders. “We were going to marry, so why wouldn’t I?”
My chest was tight, hearing the regret in his voice.
“Look, Yasa-kun. I can tell that she meant a lot to you.” My voice cracked, and I stopped to clear it. “Have you tried to work it out? Maybe your relationship with her is not really over?”
He shook his head, and I gathered all my courage to reach across the space between us and take his hand. He tugged on mine and squeezed, looking me in the eyes.
“It’s over. It’s beyond over. I could never trust her again.”
“What happened?” He’d never said why they broke up, but I got the feeling, whatever it was, it was unforgivable.
“It doesn’t matter.” He stood up, and taking my hand with him, he urged me from the bed. “I’m making new memories with you now, and she fades more and more every day.”
I held my coffee out to the side, but stepped to him and wrapped my free arm around his chest, and he hugged me back. Someday, he’d tell me.
“I’m worried about you. I spoke to your Mom this morning when she left for work. She promises you both won’t return to the house until it gets warmer, and we’ll install more security there when that happens. Motion detecting lights and cameras. Maybe even a dog for you?” He pressed his lips against the top of my head. “Until then, you can both live with me.”
“Are you sure?” I lifted my face from his warm shirt. “Having my mom around kinda puts a damper on the romance, don’t you think?”
“Romance? I didn’t say this would change anything. Remember how you said I would need to woo you?”
I had said exactly that. I told him when he first showed interest in me that I wasn’t some fast and loose girl. I expected to be wooed.
“Yes. I love wooing.”
“First,” he said, taking my hand and leading me out of the bedroom, “you’re so adorable when you sleep. I’ve only seen it twice now, and I plan to see it close up soon. Second, there’ll be plenty of hours when your Mom is not around, so let’s have breakfast together, relax, and then we’ll go to Etsuko’s funeral.”
His face fell from the smile he was wearing.
“I realize that’s not the best wooing I’ve ever done, but I suppose it’ll have to do since we can’t skip it.”
“I’m supposed to help Yamida-san get to her physical therapy appointment this morning.”
“I’ll drive and we can do that together.”
While he finished making an omelet at the stove, I sipped my coffee and sat at the table, rubbing my face and slowly waking up. I lifted my feet from the floor and tucked my knees up, resting my chin on them. I focused my eyes on Yasahiro in the kitchen, as comfortable in his own space as he was in the restaurant. He knew where everything was, grabbing spices in one motion. It reminded me that I’d asked Murata to teach me how to bake bread.
“So, breakfast, Yamida-san, funeral, and then what? I told Murata-san I’d come by her place today.”
He plated our meals and brought them to the table.
“Breakfast, relaxing, Yamida-san, funeral. Then I need to be here to wait for a delivery, and you can go to Murata-san’s. Then dinner here for both you and your Mom. I’m taking the whole
day off.” He straightened his shoulders and smiled. “I’m the boss. I can do that.”
“Really? The whole day? When was the last time you did that?”
“When you were in the hospital, so, awhile ago.” He glanced at the scar on my upper arm, from where a part of the barn fell on me and gave me a second degree burn. Even though it didn’t hurt anymore, a red gash slashed across my skin. It was another reminder of how fire and I didn’t mix. He still hadn’t seen my back.
It’d be the ultimate test. He thought I was pretty and adorable, but seeing my back, scarred and damaged, would probably change that. I’d been preparing my heart, steeling it, in case he ran. I imagined him gasping in surprise, and his face turning white, backing away and leaving me.
“Fuji-ko!” He snapped his fingers between us. “Blow those mists away. Let’s have clear skies today. Every time I see you slip away like that, I know where your mind goes, and it’s never good. Remember that I’m here…” He emphasized this by pointing his index finger at his chest. “Stay with me.”
“Okay,” I whispered, as I lifted my fork to eat my gourmet breakfast. He had spent weeks at the hospital with me, talking to me, making me talk to him. I would often drift away into my own thoughts, remembering the burning barn, and Tama, my ex-boyfriend, trying to kill me. Keeping me in the present by drawing me back from being stuck in my head always helped. He learned that quickly.
We relaxed for a while, him reading with me on the couch, or on his computer in the bedroom. I checked my email and found no replies to any of my resumes yet. I hated the waiting game. We drove over to Yamida-san’s place, picked her up, and took her to her appointment, and she decided to take the bus home.
At 11:30, we arrived at the funeral parlor. Yasahiro was armed with a condolence card, stuffed with money and both of our names on it.
“Thank you,” I whispered to him while we waited in line to pay our respects to Etsuko’s family.
I glanced around, and Fujita Takahara, the regional manager for Midori Sankaku, the new grocery chain in town that had been buying up land, was two people behind me. I once suspected him of killing Akiko’s father, and although he had an ego the size of China, he wasn’t the one who did the deed. That was Tama.