The Harder You Fall

by L A Cotton

  The second I’d turned on my cell and saw all the missed calls from Shona I knew something was wrong. But it was the single text of Jesse that confirmed it. Jermaine and his guys had followed Shona home to an empty house and threatened to trash the place if she didn’t tell him where I was. I knew my best friend and I knew how feisty she was, and deep down, I knew she wouldn’t have given up my whereabouts unless she felt she had no other choice.

  “Where is he now?” Hailee asked.

  “I told him I’d meet him later to talk.”

  “What the hell, Mya?” Flick’s eyes almost bugged out of her head. “You know that is a bad idea. Asher will—”

  “What else would you have me do?” I gritted out, trying to hide the nervous energy coursing through me.

  Her eyes flitted past me and I didn’t need to turn around to know who was watching me. “Okay,” she let out a weary sigh, “let’s just try to get through dinner and then we can figure out what to do.”

  With a small nod, I followed them to the long table Jerry had arranged for us. Mr. Bennet sat at the head of it, with Asher to his left and his wife to his right. His cold gaze met mine as he said, “Jason, son, why don’t you move up one and let the girls sit together?”

  He didn’t need to say the words for me to know I was being cut out. I glanced at Asher, half-expecting him to come to my defense, but he didn’t, not this time.

  My blood ran cold.

  What had started as one of the best days of my life, standing in the bleachers wearing my boyfriend’s number as I cheered him and his team on, was turning into my worst nightmare.

  As I took my seat between Felicity and Hailee, I’d never felt more of an outsider. Felicity grabbed my hand under the table and squeezed. “Just breathe,” she whispered.

  Cameron’s mom sat opposite me, a picture of happiness as she played with Xander who sat between her and Mr. Chase.

  “What’s your name?” he asked me.

  “Hi, I’m Mya.”

  “It’s nice to meet you, Mya,” Cameron’s mom smiled. “I’m Cameron and this little monster’s mom. You’re Asher’s girlfriend, right?”

  I nodded, too choked up to reply.

  “Asher ot a irlfriend.” Xander picked up his sippy cup and thrust it in the air, sending juice flying everywhere. “Asher kissy his irlfriend.”

  Cameron, Hailee, and his parents smothered their laughter while the other end of the table remained quiet. It was like being stuck between sunshine and a thunderstorm.

  “Xander, remember what we talked about, buddy?” Cameron gave his little brother his best serious stare.

  “Me gots to behave if I want to be a big boy.”

  “That’s right, buddy.”

  “Cam?” A little grin tugged at his mouth.

  “Yeah, Xan?”

  “Do you kissy Ailee still?”

  Quiet laughter came from the dreary end of the table and I peeked around Felicity and Jason at Asher. A half-smile barely hid his amusement. But when his eyes met mine, it melted away replaced with regret.

  God, I hated this.

  I hated that Jermaine, and his dad, and my aunt, had the power to come between us so easily.

  I hated that no matter how much we tried to be strong, there would always be something—or someone—trying to come between us.

  Asher looked away first, giving the server his full attention. Cameron’s mom offered me a knowing smile, but it did little to ease the tightness in my chest, because not only did I have to survive this dinner.

  I also had to survive seeing Jermaine again.

  For the next hour, I ate and smiled and pretended that on the inside it wasn’t killing me to sit there and act as if everything was okay.

  In some ways, it was a relief I wasn’t seated closer to Asher and his parents. Xander provided constant amusement, entertaining us with his random toddler outbursts, and Mr. and Mrs. Chase were both warm and friendly, treating me with the respect Mr. Bennet hadn’t afforded me. But I’d kept an ear on the conversation between Asher’s and Jason’s parents. Surprisingly, Mr. Ford didn’t bring up football, and I wondered if Jason had warned him to not mention it.

  “A toast,” Mr. Bennet’s deep voice commanded our attention. He stood up, glass raised. “To good friends and future adventures.”

  Everyone lifted their drinks, a collective chorus of, “good friends and future adventures,” echoing around us.

  He was a good actor, giving no hint at the real man hiding beneath an expensive suit and fat checkbook.

  “You’re all welcome to join us back at the house for a nightcap.”

  “Oh, we couldn’t possibly,” Cameron’s mom said. “We have to get this little monster home to bed.”

  “Of course,” Mrs. Bennet gave her friend a weak smile.

  “Kent, Denise?”

  “Not tonight, Andrew. Early start in the morning. But thank you for dinner. You didn’t have to pick up the tab.”

  “Don’t be silly, Kent. What’s a little dinner between friends?” They shook hands and Jason’s dad helped Mrs. Raine-Ford into her coat.

  I stood too. “I’m going to go,” I said to Hailee and Felicity. The sooner I met with Jermaine, the sooner I could try to put today behind me.

  “Thank you for a lovely dinner.” I forced myself to look at Mr. Bennet. His jaw clenched as he gave me a brief nod.

  “Goodnight, Mya.” Mrs. Bennet rose, beckoning me around the table. I went to her and she wrapped her slim arms around me. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “But please, don’t give up on my boy. He needs you, more than you know.”

  Pulling away, I gave her a tight smile. Asher stood up and for a second my heart soared. He was going to say something, to give me a sign we were still okay. But he wasn’t looking at me, his eyes narrowing dangerously. I turned slowly, the air sucked clean from my lungs at the sight of Jermaine and two of his guys standing in the door of Bell’s.

  I felt the weight of the stares of my friends and their families as my past and present collided in a way I never anticipated.

  “What the hell are you doing here?” I rushed over to Jermaine, glowering at him.

  “Got bored of waiting, baby girl.” He ran his thumb over his bottom lip, smirking.

  “You need to leave, now.”

  “What? We not welcome or somethin’?”

  “Jermaine, please.” I let out an exasperated breath, noticing how out of place he looked, standing there in his baggy jeans and hoodie, his hair braided back in slick cornrows.

  “Mya,” it wasn’t the voice I wanted to hear. In fact, Mr. Bennet was the last person I wanted anywhere near Jermaine and his friends. “You should ask your friends to leave. We don’t want any trouble.”

  “And who the fuck are you, old man?” One of Jermaine’s guys stepped forward.

  “Easy, Shawn.” Jermaine’s hand shot out. “I only want to talk.”

  “You should have waited,” I said quietly.

  “Well, I’m here now. Let’s roll, unless you want to introduce me to your friends.”

  This wasn’t the boy I knew. Jermaine was all grown up, commanding the room with an arrogance that scared me. I knew what it meant to run with someone like Diaz. It’s why I let my eyes run down to the waistband of his jeans, searching for the outline of a knife. Or even worse, a gun.

  When my gaze settled back on his face, his smirk melted away, and for a second I saw a glimmer of the boy I’d once loved. “Seriously, Mya, you think I’d come here packing?”

  Mr. Bennet cleared his throat, hovering precariously close to us.

  “Let’s go outside and talk,” I said, desperate to get them as far away from my friends and their families as possible.

  “I’ll come with you,” Felicity appeared out of nowhere, flanking my side in solidarity. It warmed my heart knowing she was willing to take a stand for me, but I refused to drag her into this.

  “Wait for me, okay?” I met her concerned eyes. “I’ll be right back.”
r />   I didn’t look for Asher.

  I couldn’t.

  But as I followed Jermaine out of Bell’s, I was sure I heard his father say, “She doesn’t belong here, Son, let her go.”

  “What the fuck, Jermaine?” I slammed my fists against his chest the second we were outside. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

  “Easy, Mya, girl.” He laughed. He actually laughed at me like he wasn’t here to ruin everything. “I needed to see you.”

  “See me? You needed to see me?” I yelled, aware that I was losing it. My tight grasp on control was slipping through my fingers. “This is my life, Jermaine. My life, and you shouldn’t be here.”

  “We’ll give the two of you some space,” one of his friends said, shooting me an amused look.

  “Fuck you,” I growled, feeling the thin rope of my control snap. I knew people like him. Gangbangers who thought they didn’t have to live by the rules of society.

  It was a hard to believe Jermaine was one of them now, that he’d chosen them over me.

  “Be careful, baby girl.” Jermaine inched closer, looming over me in a way that had once made me feel safe and protected.

  “Tell your boys to back off. You want to talk, I’ll talk. But not with them leering at me.”

  He gave them a brief look. One look that had them walking away without protest.

  “Who are you?” I whispered.

  “I grew up, Mya. Found my place in the world.” He tried to touch my cheek, but I turned away. “It’s time for you to come home. I can keep you safe now.”

  “Because you’re in Diaz’s crew? Diaz can’t keep you safe,” I snorted. “He’ll only get you killed.” I forced out the words over the giant lump in my throat.

  Even now, despite everything that had happened between us, I didn’t want to see the boy I grew up with get hurt.

  We were at an impasse again, the same impasse we’d been at too many times before. Jermaine didn’t believe he deserved a better life and nothing I could say or do would change that. He was bound to Diaz’s crew now. Blood in, no out.

  “We’re done,” I said, remembering all the pain and heartache he’d caused. “Nothing you say or do will change that.” Stepping back, I hugged myself tight, creating a wall between us.

  Jermaine went to close the distance, but I thrust out a hand. “Come any closer and I’ll scream, and someone will call the police.” I was surprised Mr. Bennet hadn’t already.

  “You wouldn’t,” he drawled, the surprise in his eyes contradicting his words.

  “Try me.”

  “Shit, Mya, you’ve changed.”

  “Yeah,” I lifted my chin in defiance. “well, so have you.” Turning to leave, I spotted my friends in the window of Bell’s watching through the blinds. I didn’t expect to see them standing there. I didn’t expect Jermaine to grab my wrist forcefully and yank me back.

  And I didn’t expect my boyfriend’s friend to fly out of the bar and tackle Jermaine to the ground.

  But if I’d learned anything about Asher and his friends in my short time in Rixon, it was to expect the unexpected.

  Asher

  I hauled ass after Jason but he was too quick. He’d knocked Jermaine out of the way before I could reach them. The two of them started going at it, fists flying and bone crunching. Cameron appeared just as the other two guys pounced. There wasn’t time to think. I’d had enough scuffles on and off the field to know that if a fist was flying at your face, you either ducked and tried to make a run for it, or you hit back. I threw my knuckles straight into one guy’s face and his head snapped back, pain splintering through my wrist.

  “Motherfucka,” he grunted, trying to grab me. I dodged his reach and tried to get to Jason who was still whaling on Jermaine, the two of them trading insults as well as fists. Felicity had her arms wrapped around Mya who looked desperate to step into the fray and I shot her a pleading look to stay put.

  “The police are on their way,” someone yelled, but it wasn’t the three of us who needed to worry. We were Rixon through and through and I knew the attending officers would take one look at us and know who we were.

  “You need to walk away, Son,” Dad commanded, but I ignored him, jogging over to Jason. Blood dripped from a deep cut in his lip, but he didn’t look worried. Once upon a time, he’d lived for this shit.

  “You should go before the five-o arrive,” I ground out. Jermaine flashed me a wolfish grin.

  “Me and you, preppy, let’s go.” He bounced on the balls of his feet, taunting me with his eyes and crooked finger. “Come on, you know you want to.”

  “Jermaine,” Mya cried as Hailee and Felicity tried to pull her away. “Just go.”

  “You should listen to him, man.” Jason hacked a mouthful of blood and spat it out at his feet. “This is our territory. Raider territory.”

  But Jermaine’s eyes were set on me, jealousy etched into his expression. “Bet it kills you knowing I had her first. Once you taste black you never go—”

  Several people yelled as my fist drove straight into his nose. Jermaine staggered back, blood splattered over his face and hoodie.

  “You’re dead, motherfucka.” He pointed two fingers at me and pulled the trigger. Mya rushed to my side, yanking me backward by the arm just as sirens sounded at the end of the street.

  “J, let’s roll,” one of his guy’s said.

  “Yeah, a’ight.” He scratched his jaw, indecision flickering in his eyes. He didn’t want to leave Mya, to walk away; but to everyone’s relief he did. The three of them piled into a beat-up Chevy and peeled out of the parking lot.

  “What the hell were you thinking, Jason?” Felicity shrieked, throwing herself into his arms. He tipped his head at me, understanding passing between us.

  He had my back.

  Which meant he had Mya’s back.

  “Are you okay?” Mya asked, gently cradling my hand in hers. My knuckles were split open, blood seeping through my fingers. “You need this looked at.”

  The adults swarmed us, the moms fussing over us like we were little kids needing some TLC, while the dads quietly watched on, waiting for their opportunity to strike.

  My father would never let me hear the end of this. He’d told me as much inside, when Mya left to talk to Jermaine. It’s why Jason had gotten to them first; something I wouldn’t forgive myself for in a hurry.

  “Ash... please, say something.”

  But I couldn’t bring myself to look at her. I was angry and confused and my hand hurt like a bitch.

  “Oh, Asher, what a mess.” Mom offered me a sad smile. “We should probably get you home and take care of this.”

  Mya slowly released my hand, her fingers lingering as if it pained her to let me go. “I should probably go,” she said so quietly it cut right through me.

  “That’s probably a good idea,” Mom replied, sounding more like my dad than she ever had before.

  “I never meant for this to happen, Mrs. Bennet.” The vulnerability in Mya’s voice coaxed me to look at her. She looked so broken... so defeated. I wanted to wrap my arms around her and tell her everything would be okay. But before I could get out the words, Mom ushered me away.

  “Now do you believe me?” my father said as we approached him.

  “Not right now, Andrew,” Mom brushed past him, leading me to the car. I noticed Jason’s dad talking to the police officers, no doubt smoothing things out with them.

  Mom climbed into the car, but Jason jogged up to me, shoving his hand against the door. “What are you doing?” he asked, his brows knitted in confusion.

  “Leave it, Jase.”

  “No fucking way, man. I didn’t just take a beating from that punk so you could walk away from Mya with your fucking tail in between your legs.”

  “It’s complicated.” My teeth ground together.

  “Looks pretty simple to me. She’s shaken up and you’re running.”

  “I’m not...” I let out a weary sigh. “Jase, please, drop it.”
My eyes went to my dad and then found Mya across the parking lot. Her breath hitched, unshed tears glistening in her eyes.

  “Asher, Son, it’s time to go.” Dad’s tone was final, the coolness in his voice making me wince.

  “There’s something you’re not telling me, isn’t there?” Jase asked.

  “I’ll talk to you later, okay?” I yanked open the door and slid into the car, slamming it behind me, the sound reverberating deep inside my chest.

  My father climbed in a second later, the temperature turning subzero.

  “How is your hand, sweetheart?”

  “I’m fine, Mom.” I clutched my bloodied hand to my chest, staring out of the window as Bell’s grew smaller behind us.

  “Those boys were—”

  “Gangbangers, Julia. Those young men were gangbangers and thanks to Asher’s friend they have tarnished the team’s victory and our son’s reputation.”

  “Lay off it, Dad,” I grunted, the adrenaline finally subsiding, giving way to the pain radiating deep inside my metacarpals.

  “I’ll lay off you, Son, when you do the right thing and end it with the Hernandez girl. She is nothing but trouble. You saw her. She knows one of them; intimately might I add.”

  “Asher,” Mom glanced back, “Is it true? Did she... have a relationship with one of those... those men?”

  Mom was visibly shaken by the night’s events, but I didn’t like how easily persuaded she was by Dad.

  “Jermaine is Mya’s ex. It ended badly,” I admitted, hating that I was proving my father right. “But it’s over and she’s here to escape that life. He wasn’t supposed to know she was in Rixon.”

  “See, Julia. She’s dragged her gangbanger friends into our lives and now none of us are safe.”

  “For real, Dad? Don’t be so melodramatic. It was a fight. It was hardly a gang war.”

  “No.” He caught my eye in the rear-view mirror. “But what happens now? Do you think he’s just going to go on his way?”

  I didn’t want to think about it. I wanted to go back to earlier, before I ever laid eyes on him. When I was thinking of how badly I wanted Mya. When I was foolishly making idle plans for our future once graduation was out of the way.