Queen of the Night Time World

by Kristen Strassel

  “They dream of something better than they have.” Light. Okay, now they were making a little more sense. “Why would we want to destroy what Gabriel’s created? The system has worked up until now.”

  “The balance has been thrown off.” Callie sat next to Tristan and weaved her fingers between his, like she needed to feel something good. “And we can’t sustain the good energy. I can’t look into the future, but—”

  “I can.” My mouth watered like I was going to get sick. “I’ve travelled there. The vampires suck the energy out of the universe. Not just the good energy—all of it. Machines don’t work, and the sun doesn’t rise. Humans, whether they come in contact with a vampire or not, can’t survive without sunlight.”

  I glanced at Rachel, who crossed her arms over her chest and shifted her weight from foot to foot. I didn’t trust her, no matter what her explanation was.

  “Humans might need a little evil in their lives, but vampires need the light.”

  “Vampires only need energy. They don’t care where it comes from,” Rachel said.

  I ran my hand over my face, hoping I didn’t expose myself in the process. “Let me get this straight. You’re doing...whatever it is you’re doing at Embrace because the bad energy attracts humans to Las Vegas.” I motioned to Tristan. “And you’re sustained by good human energy.”

  “Exactly.” Callie smiled, like this was all okay.

  Balance is a lie. Gabriel’s words finally made sense. No wonder I felt physically ill. Their plan would never work. If I didn’t go along with it, I looked like the bad guy.

  “We can’t go tonight.” I hoped the feeling stirring inside me was the long-lost vibration; Rainey’s siren song. If she had any idea what was happening in this Realm, she had to know I was in trouble. I’d always had her as a security blanket, keeping me comfortable and safe. “We need to take our time and get this right.”

  I wanted to get them the hell out of my dressing room. And I wanted to go to the Realm on my own, and get Rainey the hell out of there. Like me, she was exposed and vulnerable.

  That wasn’t true. Gabriel would fight for her. I wondered if anyone would fight for me. Blade’s face flickered in my vision, but if he had to make a choice, I wasn’t sure if my pull over him was stronger than his desire for domination and destruction.

  “We’re going whether you come with us or not.” Rachel was too close, and I refused to blink first. “Remember, Holly, you need to find a place you belong.”

  She looked away, nodding at Callie and Tristan before she headed to the door. Callie squeezed Tristan’s hand before getting off the couch. Tristan winked at me as he shut the door.

  They followed her. No matter what they thought about balance, Rachel was winning. The clock was ticking, and I had to find the place I belonged before Rachel destroyed it.

  Chapter Sixteen

  All my life I’d been told I had darkness inside me. It may have had something to do with the fact I’d burned my mother to death at childbirth. But I spent the next two hundred and thirty-three years searching for her and my father. The place I belonged.

  I succeeded, but my victory was short-lived. Cash was dead, and Lennon only humored my claim that this wasn’t her first go ‘round. The emptiness echoed inside me, amplified by Rainey’s absence. Home wasn’t necessarily a place, but a person. And it was something I never expected I’d lose.

  I had to get Rainey back before Rachel set Plan B into action. If she had any leadership skills at all, she’d prepare for when I didn’t give her what she wanted. She’d take it from me, again. I didn’t think it was a coincidence the vibration that once led me to Rainey now brought me straight to Embrace. I feared I was too late.

  Many nights I was the last performer out of the theater. The guys in the band wanted to capitalize on the climax of their performance. They’d whipped the audience into a frenzy and that was when the magic happened. Backstage at the meet and greet, or at the party the chosen few lucky fans got invited to. I’d gone to that party one night, disguised as a fan, and I knew what it took to get a ticket punched for admission. The guys needed to keep the celebration going as long as possible.

  But I needed to heal, and I decided to do something I hadn’t done in a long time. I went home, back to the apartment I shared with Rainey. I texted Blade to let him know I wouldn’t be at the hotel, hesitating before I shared my plan. He needed me to trust him. More than that, he needed to know that I did. Blade needed a place to call home, too.

  Once I parked the car, I didn’t get out. I sat inside, gripping the steering wheel so hard my knuckles turned white as I stared at the dark window to our living room. I dreamed of this place almost every night I stayed at the Alta Vista. I dreamed of snuggling into bed with Rainey, and hearing her sigh as she got comfortable. I licked my lips, the taste of lettuce tea plain on them. My mouth watered. I hadn’t had it since the night she disappeared. She made it to help me heal after I ignited. No wonder it was getting harder.

  Either that or spending so much time with vampires was making that part of me stronger. I needed more energy to survive. That was a vampire thing, never having enough, never being satisfied. It made me think the vampires’ strength would ultimately lead to their downfall.

  Destruction was in the eye of the beholder.

  I looked down at my phone, still hoping for another message from Rainey. One hadn’t been enough, either. Instead, Blade had answered my text.

  Want me to stay there with you tonight?

  No. I typed it and erased it a dozen times, replacing it with come in a little bit and yes. But no won out. The thing that really scared me about my mission was nothing would be as I remembered it, and I couldn’t let Blade soften that blow. I wanted to feel every emotion flowing through me in the rawest form, as raw as my scorched body.

  Before I unlocked the door, I texted him again. I’m really glad you’re in my life.

  It was far from the words he probably longed to hear, but it was the truth.

  My phone vibrated in my hand. You’re the only thing that makes sense, he texted. I was glad he was texting me, because I was scared to go into my own house and it felt stupid. But I didn’t feel so alone. Just before I pushed the door open, he texted again. I’m never happier than when I’m with you and Rainey.

  Me too. And it wasn’t just because of my fire. We need to talk soon.

  Okay. If you need me tonight, say the word and I’ll be there.

  It wasn’t an I love you, but it was close. I will.

  Another text came through as I walked into the dark apartment. One of these nights, I’m going to fuck you in that closet.

  He managed to get me to laugh when I was lonely and scared. Not tonight. Before Rainey got blackout curtains for the apartment, the only place that had been safe for Blade to spend daylight hours was our walk-in closet.

  Just promise me it will happen.

  I was dizzy standing in the living room with all our stuff surrounding me. But it didn’t feel like my life anymore. I made so many mistakes since Rainey disappeared and I couldn’t afford one more. Pressing the phone to my chest was as close as I’d get to anyone hugging me, and I needed one more than ever. I ran my finger over the spines of Rainey’s grimoires on the bookshelf. My heart quickened at the spark that followed. Blade on the phone, Rainey’s power in those books...our triumvirate hadn’t been broken.

  After I cooled my finger in my mouth, I answered Blade. More than once.

  That’s my girl. I’d say we could get Rainey in on the action too, but I don’t think she’s the kind of girl who wants to get it on in a closet.

  Do I have to remind you of the night she fucked me against the door with you on the other side?

  The little dots that indicated he was typing kept appearing and disappearing. Next time I want to watch, he answered.

  Blade wavered on whether or not he thought I could get Rainey out of Gabriel’s Realm, but I finally understood something. It wasn’t just Rainey and me, or Blade
or me, it was the three of us. I had to make him a part of it. Blade needed a place to belong—in this Realm—as badly as we did. Okay. Let’s get her back.

  It’s not going to be easy, but we’ll do it.

  All I sent in return was a fire emoji. I wanted to be present, feel my loss, and not use Blade as a Band-aid. It hurt to tear myself away from him, but I had to do it. I’d never been alone before, and it scared the hell out of me. I didn’t know if it was a temporary condition, or something I wouldn’t be able to shake if I let everyone close to me go, whether they were good for me or not.

  If I wasn’t enough to come back to.

  But I wasn’t alone as I wandered around the apartment. I was haunted by the memories lurking in every space. Not regrets—the good stuff. Rainey’s scent lingered everywhere. If it wasn’t her perfume, it was the aroma from a candle or some of the herbs that should’ve prevented this moment. She’d been so careful with them, measuring and combining them with precision and care so they’d give her what she wanted. I had to come to terms with the possibility that they might have done just that. Given her an escape from her life with me. Going along with things she thought were ridiculous, harmful, or just plain stupid because I wouldn’t listen to reason. Playing a supporting role while I went on stage and had people chanting my name. Not that she wanted what I had—Rainey was happy with a quieter life. I envied her for it.

  I crawled into bed fully dressed. There weren’t any pillows since I brought them with me to the Alta Vista. It didn’t matter, I probably wasn’t going to get any sleep tonight, anyway. Which was fine. I came here to be closer to Rainey. I closed my eyes and inhaled the omnipresent scent. It had never been more apparent that our apartment was her world, and she’d merely let me into it.

  I’d forever be grateful. Even if our time together had come to an end. It had been painful to think about her since she was gone, and I only allowed myself to do it as long as I could stand it. But I deserved this, the crippling emotion that pressed its hand to my throat.

  Sleep was more of a fantasy than seeing Rainey again. I threw the covers back and shuffled into the living room. Hoping and dreaming and missing her wasn’t doing shit for me. I had to break down the wall and get her back. And my way wasn’t working.

  The vibration zapped me as soon as I picked up one of Rainey’s books. It made it hard to see straight as I flipped through the pages, hoping there would be something, anything, that pertained to angels. This was the oldest book, the one with the thick pages and the blotchy ink that had been laid with a quill. The one that wouldn’t have been censored by fear-mongering or modern sensibility.

  We had no idea how old Rainey really was. I remembered the day she came to live with Lucille and me. Commotion. I was only about four or five at the time, but my physical age moved much more slowly than a human’s. I’d grow old and die someday, but no one who was mortal would be alive to see it. Rainey had always been the same age as me. I pushed the book away, leaning back on the couch, and did my best to remember the day I met her. Lucille hadn’t been prepared to take care of another little girl, and that was how Rainey wound up in my bed.

  We shared everything—clothes, toys, food—it wasn’t so easy to come by in those days. But one thing Rainey had to herself was books. Lucille would pore over texts with her every day, while telling me to do chores. I was desperate to know what those texts held, then resentful. If Rainey hadn’t been so kind to me, and I hadn’t been so drawn to her, it could have been a turning point. Instead, I took my frustrations out on Lucille.

  I didn’t want to travel back to those days—I didn’t belong there. I’d arrive as an adult, and there was no way I’d be able to keep my mouth shut. But as I looked through this book, it occurred to me that Rainey herself could have recorded the words herself.

  All history is fiction, written by the victorious. You know that, she said one of the last times we looked at the texts. What had Rainey won? And why hadn’t she told me about it? Had her memory been wiped clean when she was brought to me as a child? The other thing we shared was confusion—of where we came from and why we’d been left in a sea of humans.

  For all the trouble the vampires had caused us, it had almost been a relief to discover their existence. It gave Rainey a tangible reason to cast her spells against evil. It gave us something to fight for. And finally, we weren’t alone anymore.

  My theory was shaky, that Rainey would’ve known all those years ago to leave instructions for me to find her in this text. But Rainey Saw the future. I hadn’t always been in it, but even as a little girl she had to know this day would come, along with every one that led up to it. I hoped she cherished them as much as I did.

  What would Rainey do? I asked myself as I gathered all her favorite things, wondering if she’d really cared about these crystals, candles, and herbs after all. She so lovingly collected them and cared for them for all these years, then left them. I gathered the pink crystals—rose quartz. They symbolized love. I was pretty sure the pink candle meant the same thing. She rarely used it, because love was never in short supply. Until she left.

  I was a moron. Rainey had been collecting these things for me. For this very moment.

  Hopefully they’ll be enough to summon her back, I thought. But I didn’t have to hope when it came to Rainey. If I were her, I’d take the time to figure out the combination, but time was a luxury I didn’t have. My Realm was getting blacker by the minute.

  But the vibration was back. It could mean that Gabriel’s thugs were hot on my trail. Let them try it. I’d burn them before they could call for backup.

  The candle smelled like the calendula oil Rainey used when she nursed me back to health from a pile of ashes. The night Rachel “neutralized” my power, I went on stage, business as usual. Except nothing was usual that night, and the flaming iron that usually sent fire over the surface of my skin burned me for real. I’d forever be wary of Rachel’s work.

  Rainey knew—we weren’t together at the time, but she came, and she saved my life.

  She’d been so loving and patient with me when I couldn’t do the same for myself. I lay down on the couch and watched the flame flicker. Reality went with it, and my newly healed skin tightened like it would crack if I moved, and my mouth went dry.

  Rainey was here.

  Chapter Seventeen

  It was possible that my whole life had been a lie, up to and including this moment. I sat, blinking rapidly, but the image didn’t waver. Rainey was here.

  I reached for her; her thigh was solid, warm, soft, and most of all, real. She smiled as I tightened my grip, but didn’t say anything. I took her face in my hands and kissed her. She drew me in, her very real hands on my back, and I wished I could devour her; keep her in a safe place, like her crystals and herbs, all to myself.

  “You look amazing,” I said against her lips. Like she had in those last flickering seconds before I was torn from her Realm. Her blonde curls fell past her shoulders, and her skin glowed. And her body... Everything had been amplified, and I wanted to run my hand over those dangerous curves to make sure they were there. But I didn’t know if they belonged to me anymore. “Like an angel.”

  She chuckled and shook her head. “And you look like sin.”

  “Just one, or all seven of them?”

  “You’re not lazy or gluttonous, but the rest of them look good on you.”

  My head was full of cotton like I just woke up. “What are you doing here?”

  I wanted her to say she’d never left, and I had travelled into a nightmare where she wasn’t here. That the whole time she’d been gone was actually one of my trips to the unknown. If given the chance, it was a place I would never return to. My own personal Hell.

  “I can’t stand to see you like this.” Her answer didn’t clear anything up for me. “Confused and angry. I came to tell you what happened.”

  “The night you disappeared?” For the most part, I knew. My dressing room was a portal to Gabriel’s Realm and appa
rently, so was our apartment. And the vampires convinced me to leave it. How much did Tristan know about the other Realm? There were no guarantees he would’ve told Callie, but it wasn’t in his best interest to keep Rainey away. Or so I thought. I didn’t know what to believe any more.

  “That, and everything else.” Her gaze fell onto the open grimoire. Candle smoke obscured the words even more. “You deserve to know it all.”

  “Did you write this book?” The more I looked at it, the more it was obviously Rainey’s handwriting. Blurred with age and crafted with the tip of a feather, certain letters couldn’t have been written by anyone else. Like the way she curled her capital S, letting the swoop dip below the line.

  She nodded. “It was dangerous, too. If anyone had ever caught me with it, I would’ve been burned or stoned or something equally awful. But I had to keep a record of the spells people shared with me. They were so brave to do it, I couldn’t let their work become lost. Remember when I said history was written by the victorious? Well, we lost, and that’s why supernatural arts are shunned. But they couldn’t erase us from existence. And I had to be even more careful, since many of the spells in there are my own recipes. A lot of trial and error went into those. And some of the failures were interesting, to say the least.”

  Rainey always loved when things didn’t go as planned. She used to drag me to the sideshows that came to town, and spent hours in curiosity shops marveling at nasty things suspended in goo. She grinned, probably at some grotesque memory of a failed experiment.

  “So you weren’t really a little girl when you came to live with us.”

  “No,” she said. Even though I knew it was the answer, there was no way to prepare myself for the shock. All these years, Rainey lied to me. “Don’t bother asking how old I really am. I don’t remember actually being a little kid.”