Every Good Cowboy Deserves A Second Chance

by Maggie Miller

I think carefully before I answer. “Some of it works, for sure,” I say. “The blood pressure medication for example.”

  “And some of it doesn’t?” he asks, lifting his eyebrows.

  I let out a long sigh. “If you want my personal and not professional opinion, I’m not sure the medications for memory work very long, if at all. It varies from person to person. A few months might be the best you can hope for. Every person is different.”

  “I have to give it a try though, right? In case it helps Dad? He might be the one person the medicine works on.”

  “Absolutely,” I say, nodding. I don’t tell him I’ve wondered myself if some of the dementia medications aren’t more for the family to feel as if they’re doing something than to help the patient. It’s not my place to share my opinions on medications the physicians have ordered for their patients. “You have to try,” I say. “It might work for your dad and nobody else. How is Charles doing lately?”

  “The good days are getting fewer and further between. The bad days are getting more intense. It’s an emotional rollercoaster every day. Honestly, Ginny, I don’t know how much longer I can take care of him at home by myself. Maybe if Lily wasn’t so young. She needs parenting too.” He holds up his hands helplessly. “I guess it’s just one of those tough situations,” he says. “There’s not a thing I can do but suck it up and keep on moving. I’m sure not the first person to go through this kind of thing with aging parents. And I won’t be the last. There’s a whole generation of people living longer and losing their minds.”

  “No, unfortunately, you’re not. And usually there’s one person in the family who shoulders the whole load. It’s the same way with everyone. I’m only a phone call away if you get into a jam,” I offer. “I can always sit with Lily or your dad if you need some time out or have stuff you need to get done.”

  “Thanks, you’re a good friend to offer.”

  I scan Matthew’s face with concern. His exhaustion is beginning to show. His handsome face is drawn with tiredness, with worry lines taking the place of laughter creases that used to be around his eyes. It can’t be easy for him, caring for his elderly father, and being a single dad to his four-year-old daughter too.

  “How is Lily doing?” I ask.

  “Pretty good, I think. She loves preschool. She has a little boyfriend called Tommy. She struggles a bit at home, though. I think Dad scares her sometimes when he gets confused and loud. He scares me too if I’m honest about it. One minute he’ll be sweet as sugar and the next yelling about hearing an imaginary person banging on a window outside.”

  “She’s too young to understand what’s going on. How’s Luke taking all this with your dad?”

  Matthew raises his eyebrows in amusement. Being asked about his superstar brother constantly must be a bit of a joke. “Ah, yes, Luke. I wondered when you would get around to asking about him. Everyone does sooner or later.”

  “Is he still touring?”

  “The first leg is almost over,” he replies. “He was at a big music festival in Nashville this weekend. He’s going big places, the way he always wanted.”

  “Wow, that’s incredible,” I say.

  “Incredible for him, maybe. Not so much for the family he left behind. Trying to get hold of him is like yelling into a deep black hole of nothing. He hasn’t called me back in days.”

  “He must be crazy busy with his touring schedule.”

  “Maybe,” he replies in a bitter voice. “Just how long does replying to a text take, though? Ten seconds? You’d think he’d want to check on Dad more often to see how he’s doing. If he cared about him, or us.”

  “I’m sure he doesn’t realize how serious the situation with your dad has become. You know what’s going on because you’re with him every day. Hearing about how things are and seeing it with your own eyes are two different things. I doubt Luke realizes how much Charles has changed in the past few months.”

  “That’s because he hasn’t been around to see,” he says, almost angrily. “And I’m not sure he’d care if he did. Actions speak louder than words. This is our Dad. The man who taught us everything we know.”

  “Don’t say that,” I say, quick to defend the man I once loved. “Luke loves his family. He always did.”

  “You could fool me because he’s not acting that way right now. I know he’s in denial about Dad, but still. That’s not a good excuse. You can’t just pretend bad things aren’t happening. Things need to be faced head on and dealt with. No matter how important you think your career is.” Matthew hangs his head in disappointment over his brother’s behavior. “I tried calling him no less than five times last week,” he says. “He didn’t take a single call. Didn’t even shoot me back a text. Didn’t reply to one voicemail. He knows that Dad’s not well. He could’ve died and Luke wouldn’t even know.”

  “That doesn’t sound like Luke,” I say, frowning. “Maybe you’ll hear from him when the festival ends.”

  “Oh, I’ll hear from him one way or the other,” he says roughly. “And when I do, I’m going to tell him to get back home where he’s needed.”

  “You are?” My heart skips a beat. It’s been a long time since I last saw Luke Collins. Too long. Last time we were together, we were madly in love. That was seven years ago before he was a household name and playing non-stop on the radio.

  “I am. I’m not holding my breath though,” Matthew says. “We’ve only had Christmas and Easter together for the last seven years. I can’t see him suddenly dropping everything now to come home for a visit.”

  “Charles wasn’t this sick before,” I remind him.

  “I’ll talk to him, and hopefully something I say will get through. I need his help right now. It’s too much for me to handle on my own with Dad, Lily, and the ranch. I’m spreading myself too thin. Something is bound to fall through the cracks sooner or later. Samuel would be here in a heartbeat if he wasn’t stationed in Afghanistan. At least he has a good reason not to come home. And he calls or messages every chance he gets.” He sighs, then offers an apologetic smile and holds up his hand. “I’m sorry to dump all this on you. I don’t have many people to talk to these days. Adults, that is. The horses and cows are tired of hearing my muttering. They eat their feed and then just walk away.”

  “Don’t be sorry. That’s what friends are for. And my offer stands. I’ll help you out however I can.”

  “I might just take you up on that if I get into a pickle. I appreciate the offer.” Matthew picks up his prescription and takes his weight off the counter with a reluctant sigh. “I better get back to the ranch. I can’t leave Dad for long.”

  “See you at church on Sunday then.”

  “We’ll be there.”

  Matthew leaves and I watch the door after he’s gone, feeling sorry for him. The whole world is on his shoulders right now. It takes me a moment to stop thinking about Matthew and his family and get my mind back on work. Before I can get started on my next task, Tina appears.

  “Matthew Collins is still handsome as ever,” she says with a dreamy gaze. “Those blue eyes are killer. I would make a great stepmom to his little girl.”

  I smile at her. “I guess he is handsome. I never thought of him that way. Only as Luke’s older brother.”

  “Well, I’d say he’s as handsome as Luke. Personally, I prefer my men a little older than us. It’s a shame Matthew never picked up a guitar. He’d have given his brother a run for his money.”

  “No, Matthew is a family man. I can’t see him ever leaving this town or his ranch.”

  Tina rests her elbow on the counter and her eyes glaze over in fantasy. “Imagine having a brother that huge. Do you think Matthew could get me tickets to one of Luke’s concerts?”

  “It wouldn’t hurt to ask,” I tell her. “I’m sure you wouldn’t be the first person to try.”

  “Maybe I will. I fell in love when I heard his first song. That deep voice of his. And that smile! Did you see his picture on the cover of that magazine?”


  I turn away and busy myself with preparing prescriptions. Tina doesn’t know Luke and I were once a couple. My romance with Luke was a long time ago. But not long enough that I don’t remember every little detail.

  Luke Collins is a man a girl could never forget.

  3

  Luke

  After months of living in a tour bus, it’s a relief to be in one place for more than a single night. I feel like a kid on spring break from school with a full month’s vacation before the next tour leg begins.

  I’m staying in a five-star hotel in Nashville in the penthouse suite while the new house I bought right outside of town is undergoing major construction renovations. The view is fantastic from the top floor of the hotel. I see everything I ever dreamed of spread out before me, sparkling in the darkness. From my viewpoint, I can see the Cumberland River and the glow of lights in the water.

  If my double-paned windows could open, I would hear the sweet sounds of Broad Street, the crowds and the voices of eager new musicians belting out soulful country songs with everything they have in them. A map of my entire music career glistens down below. The view humbles me and makes me a tad bit nostalgic. It’s been a hard road to get here.

  I sink down onto the leather sofa facing out over the city. The cushions are hard as a rock and I frown, trying to find a better position to sit in. At five hundred dollars a night, you would think the furniture would be a little more comfortable. As I’m shuffling around in irritation, I notice my cellphone flashing on the glass coffee table in front of me.

  It’s Matthew again.

  This time, there’s no excuse not to answer. I’m not in the middle of a show. There are no fans I’m obligated to meet. Even Harry is somewhere else, for which I’m thankful. I pick up the cell and see Matthew is attempting a video call. I switch on my own camera and answer.

  “Hey, Matthew. How are you doing, big brother?”

  His expression is serious and unimpressed. I can see he’s sitting in the kitchen of the ranch house. A wave of homesickness hits me in the gut. It’s been so long since I was home.

  “You are alive, then,” he says. “I was beginning to wonder if you were being held captive in an underground cave somewhere without cellphone reception. I was almost ready to call the local bounty hunters to search for you.”

  “Yeah, sorry,” I say with a sheepish grin. “I’ve been hard to reach. It’s been crazy here lately.”

  “Hard to reach is a bit of an understatement. I’m ticked off at you and you know it. There’s no sense in tiptoeing around. Why haven’t you called me back?”

  I sit up straight and give Matthew my full attention. “I know,” I say after a moment. “You have every right to be mad. I’ve not been around at all. I truly am sorry. I’ve honestly not had a moment to myself until now, though, Matthew. This tour has taken everything out of me. This is the first time I’ve had a night off in months. I never get a chance to breathe these days. I’ve been working hard.”

  “Tell me about it,” he says. “While you’re working hard playing your guitar and prancing around on stage, I’m running the ranch, raising a child, and taking care of our dad. Who is not doing well, by the way. Not that you seem to care.”

  I frown. “What’s going on? Is everything okay?”

  “No, it’s not okay,” Matthew says, the exasperation with me clear in his voice “Dad’s gone downhill lately. It’s almost as if something happened overnight. One week he was fine, and then he wasn’t. Some days he acts as if he doesn’t even know who I am. You need to get back here soon to see him.”

  “It’s not going to be that easy,” I say, shaking my head. “My manager has me booked for personal appearances and radio shows when I’m not on tour. It’s not as if I’m on vacation if I’m not doing concerts. The work goes on.”

  “I don’t want to hear your lame excuses,” he says firmly. “Find a way. Otherwise, the next time you see him, you’ll be meeting with a stranger. The Alzheimer’s has taken hold of him in a bad way. If you don’t get back here now, you might miss out on the last chance you’ll have to see Dad while he still knows who you are.”

  “Are you serious? He’s that bad? I was there at Easter and he seemed to be doing okay.” I’m stunned. I had no idea things had gone downhill that fast.

  “He’s worse than you can believe,” Matthew says. “I wouldn’t lie to you about that. I don’t care what your schedule is, or how many shows you have lined up. Get back to Texas now and spend time with him. What little time he has left.”

  “Are you saying he might not know me?” My voice is filled with guilt. I’ve only seen my dad a few days here and there in the last eighteen months. Mostly holidays.

  “He’s not well. Please, just come home for a visit. Soon.”

  “I’ll see what I can do. I’ll call my manager now.”

  For the first time, Matthew’s expression softens into a smile. His face fills with relief.

  “Seriously? You’ll come home?”

  “I’ll try my best. I have the next few weeks off from performing and I’m sure any personal appearances can be canceled and rearranged. I’ll get there as soon as I can.”

  “You’ll only be here for a couple of weeks then, if at all?”

  “I’ll talk to Harry and see if I can make it longer.”

  “Luke, I’m not just asking you to come home for Dad. I’m asking you to come home for me too and Lily. Things are falling apart here. I need your help.”

  Matthew is my big brother and I’ve never known him to ask me directly for help.

  Things must be bad.

  “Why didn’t you say something before now?” I ask. “What do you need? Money? People? I’ll fix it for you, Matthew. Just tell me what you need. I’m loaded with money now so it isn’t an issue. Just name it and I’ll get it for you.”

  “We need you to come home,” he says again. “Not your money. Dad keeps asking about you and I’m running out of things to tell him why you aren’t here. This isn’t a problem you can throw money at. Do you understand?”

  “Okay, I hear you.”

  “Please don’t let us down.” Matthew’s face creases with sadness. “You’re missing out on the last of Dad. You’re missing out on seeing my daughter grow up. Not to mention that I’ve barely seen you in years. We used to be close. I miss having you around.”

  “We’re still close,” I say. There’s a long pause on the end of the line, just long enough to make the guilt twist in my stomach. “I’ll see what I can do,” I say. “I can’t make any promises, but I’ll try to get home long enough to help you out.”

  “Okay, that’s the best I can ask for, and I appreciate it more than you know,” he says. “Call me when you figure out when you’re coming. I’ll straighten up your room.”

  “You don’t need to go to any trouble on my account. I can sleep anywhere.”

  “We’ll see you soon then?”

  “Don’t worry, I’ll be there.”

  Matthew nods with his eyes closed, as if a weight has been lifted. “Thank you, Luke. Dad and Lily will both be happy to see you.”

  “Give my little niece a hug for me, okay?” I say. “I’ll see you all soon.”

  “Goodnight.”

  I hang up, now sick with worry. I knew my dad had been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, but I wasn’t prepared for it to take him down so fast. The last time I talked with Matthew, he’d said the doctor mentioned the disease could go on for a decade or more, in one stage or the other. I imagined it would be a slow progression over time, not a sudden drop off.

  I always thought I had more time to tell him everything he meant to me. Closing my eyes, I bow my head and pour my heart out to God. I pray harder than I ever have in my life.

  I pray for forgiveness for being such a thoughtless, selfish son and brother. I pray for God to give Dad the strength to hang on until I get home so I can tell him how much he means to me. I pray for time to be with my family to make up for all the times when I wasn’t
there when they needed me. Most of all, I pray for guidance to do the right thing so that I can be a better man. A man who would make my father proud.

  I’m too ashamed to pray for the one thing that’s always on my mind. Another chance to be with Ginny, the blue-eyed love of my life and the girl I lost while trying to find my way in life.

  When I finish praying, a strong feeling of peace comes over me. Now that my head is getting back on straight, I stand up and head to the bedroom where I grab a suitcase and start throwing clothes inside.

  It’s time to go home back to Texas.

  I leave my penthouse suite and take the elevator down to the next floor to see if Harry is in his hotel room. I knock loudly on the door. I hear him shuffling to the door then he opens it wide.

  He’s wearing the complimentary white hotel gown and slippers, barely drawn closed with the belt tied loosely around his waist. His pale skin is flushed as if he’s just stepped out the shower. His chest and legs are covered with wet reddish hair. Not a pleasant sight that I’ll forget any time soon.

  “Luke! What’s up? Are you bored already? Come in. I’m just having a pre-dinner drink.”

  “I can tell. It smells like a bar in here.”

  I take a quick glance around. His bedsheets are wrinkled and there’s a half-empty bottle of champagne in a bucket of ice on the table. Smoke is curling up from a cigar sitting in the ashtray beside the bed.

  “Were you having a party?” I ask, wrinkling my nose.

  “No, I’m just letting my hair down, unwinding and relaxing for a change.”

  “Uh-huh.”

  “What brought you down to the slums all the way from the penthouse suite to see me this evening?”

  I sit carefully on the edge of the bed. Harry pulls up a chair and sits opposite me.

  “Well?” he says. “You still haven’t answered my question. What do you need?”

  “I’ve just spoken to my brother. He’s been trying to call me for the past week. I need to go home to Texas.”

  He waves a hand at me in relief and walks over to pour himself another glass of champagne. “Of course! Sure, why not? You’ve got time for a quick visit before the tour begins again. Go back to that ranch, put your feet up, go trout fishing or whatever you do. The time off will do you good. Keep a notepad in your back pocket. You might even be able to write a few new songs while you’re there.”