Every Good Cowboy Deserves A Second Chance

by Maggie Miller

  She slips her fingers into mine. “It’s not your fault. We’re paying the price of fame. Should we try to round up Lily and take Charles inside? Where is she anyway?”

  “Last time I saw her, she was running into the barn after spotting a cat,” I say.

  After locating Lily playing with a stray cat she found in the barn and convincing Dad it’s time to eat, we all go inside for dinner. Ginny jumps right in to help Matthew without being asked. She’s grown up hanging around the house, so she knows exactly where every pot, pan, and ingredient is stored. She sets a huge pot of water on the stovetop to boil for spaghetti noodles and dumps a jar of sauce into a pan. Matthew is busy buttering a loaf of garlic bread before wrapping it in tinfoil and sticking it in the oven to warm.

  “What do I need to do?” I ask them. “I feel helpless watching the two of you work.”

  “Your job is to keep Lily and Dad occupied,” Matthew replies. “That’s the hardest job there is. Believe me.”

  It feels good for the family to all be working together. Lily and I set the table while Matthew and Ginny prepare the meal. Dad is sitting at the dining room table, content for the moment to watch his family buzz around him.

  “So,” Ginny says a few minutes later, giving me a teasing smile. “I thought Matthew was going to tell me about all the ways you’ve publicly embarrassed yourself. I don’t remember reading anything.”

  “Don’t get me started,” Matthew says. “My baby brother is a meme waiting to happen. How many times have you fallen off the stage, Luke? One time you managed to fall up the stairs to the stage after you won a Country Music award. I mean, come on! Who falls up the stairs? I was so embarrassed for you.”

  “Now that I think about it, I do remember seeing that video clip,” Ginny says, smiling at me. “You recovered quickly and waved your cowboy hat around to let people know you hadn’t broken your neck.”

  I’m glad she’s relaxing a little and beginning to enjoy herself. “I tripped on a cord,” I say, trying to defend myself. “I’m not that clumsy. The video clip of the fall gained me more publicity than anything else I could’ve done. Harry thought I’d done it on purpose. Now that I think about it, he might’ve set it up to trip me. I wouldn’t put anything past him.”

  “I played the clip a thousand times for Lily,” Matthew admits. “She giggled until she cried. Hey, Lily!” he says to her over his shoulder. “Let me ask you something.”

  Lily glances up from her task of placing forks beside each plate. “What, Daddy?”

  “Do you remember seeing your Uncle Luke fall down the stairs?”

  Lily immediately starts giggling at the memory.

  “See what I mean?” Matthew says.

  “Are you laughing at me?” I say to Lily in fake outrage, reaching over to tickle her ribs. “I’ll make you laugh.”

  She squeals and laughs harder. A wave of emotion rolls over me. How I love this little girl. I regret missing so much of her life already.

  “The moral of the story is that no matter how embarrassing something might be, people quickly move on to something else,” Matthew says, turning to Ginny. “The standard fifteen minutes of fame has turned into ten seconds of fame.”

  “Unless you do something stupid enough for a meme to be made about you,” I say. “Those darn things stick around forever.”

  “Okay, guys,” Ginny says, pouring the pasta into a strainer over the sink. “You’ve convinced me. I’ll try to stop worrying about it. There’s nothing I can do about it now anyway. Who’s hungry?”

  “I am!” Lily yells.

  “Then let’s eat,” Matthew says.

  Ginny and Matthew load up the plates and we all take a seat at the table. “Lily, it’s your turn to say the blessing,” Matthew says. “Can you do it by yourself?”

  Lily nods, closes her eyes and folds her little hands with her fingertips pointing up. “God is great, God is good. Thank you for the food, God. Amen.”

  “Amen,” we all say together.

  I reach for Ginny’s hand underneath the table and squeeze it. Leaving all this and going back to Nashville will break my heart.

  After we all pitch in to clean up the dinner dishes, Matthew takes Lily outside to play while Ginny helps Dad go into the living room to watch the evening news.

  I excuse myself to check my cellphone. As expected, my voicemail is full of messages from Harry. He’s working overtime, trying to do damage control on my image. Or so he says. In the past, he’s always told me any publicity is good publicity. It wouldn’t surprise me if he’s the one stirring the media up to keep me in the public eye.

  I step out to listen to his numerous messages giving me a minute-by-minute update of everything he’s doing. Trying to prove his position with me is worthwhile. When I return to the kitchen, Ginny leaves Dad’s side and follows me.

  Are you okay?” she asks in a concerned voice. “Did you get bad news from Harry? Has something else happened? Tell me.”

  “I was catching up on my messages from Harry.”

  “What did he have to say?”

  “He’s a little worried about the photos too.” I motion for Ginny to sit down at the table across from me. I reach over and take her hand. Ginny frowns at me.

  “You said it wasn’t a big deal. Is the arrest going to cause problems for you? Even if the charges were dropped?”

  I shake my head. “No, here’s the crazy thing. According to Harry, me being arrested isn’t the issue. It’s the photos of us together that has him concerned.”

  “Because you’re with a trashy girl who is trying to ruin your life? See! I told you your fans were mad.”

  “The whole thing is ridiculous,” I say. “I guess the fans think I’m not allowed to have a life or a girlfriend. According to Harry, it’s a potential public relations crisis. You were right. They’re convinced I’m lying about taking time off to be with Dad. They think I’m partying it up and hanging out with wild girls who are leading me into temptation.” I smile at her to lessen the sting of my words.

  “I’ve always wanted to be part of ‘Girls Gone Wild,’” Ginny says drily. “Should I take my shirt off and run around the ranch topless to play the part? I can’t believe they’re painting this kind of picture of me. I couldn’t be more the opposite. What are you going to do?”

  “I told Harry the same thing I told you. Not to worry, because it’s nothing.”

  Ginny’s face falls, and she pulls her hand back from mine. “We’re nothing?”

  I quickly grab her hand again. “You know that’s not what I meant by that.”

  “Do I?” she asks. “I’m not so sure. If that’s the case, maybe we should have a serious talk about where we go from here. Soon you’ll be making a decision about your life, if you haven’t already. Now that the press has found you, there’s no more hiding away from real life.”

  “We still have a little more time to work something out,” I say. “The summer isn’t over yet.”

  “Not with the press stalking all of us.” Ginny shakes her head at me. “I don’t know what will change in a week’s time or even a month’s time. I need to know where we stand. We can’t keep pretending everything is the same as it was when we were kids. Time doesn’t roll back that way.”

  “You’re right. I’m not being fair to you. What do you want to talk about?”

  She fixes her eyes on me and takes a breath before speaking. “Let’s answer the big question first. Are you going back to Nashville soon? I know it’s always on your mind. In your heart, you already know what you’re planning to do. I can see it in your eyes. You’ve never been able to fool me for a second, Luke.”

  “That’s because I’ve never tried to,” I tell her. I glance away from her, unable to meet her eyes. “We both know I have to go back eventually,” I say after a long moment. “Music is in my blood and that’s where I make it happen. Everything is in Nashville…my manager, the recording studios, my band members. Nashville is the heartland of country music. Everything
important happens there. Nashville is where I need to work.”

  Ginny withdraws her hands from mine and places them out of my reach in her lap. “What was your plan where I was concerned?” she asks. “Or did you ever have one past a quickie summer fling with an old flame?” The hurt is clearly visible in her eyes. The arrest and the press has shaken her up more than I realized.

  “The moment I saw you again, I started planning for us. I was hoping to ask you to come back with me when the time was right. After we’d had more time together.”

  “To Nashville?” she asks.

  “Yes, and on tour with me.” I smile at her in encouragement. “Think about all the fun we’d have. You always said you wanted to travel and see the world. We could do that together. Life would be great. Beyond our wildest dreams.”

  “How would that be possible?” she asks. “You’ve talked about how you don’t have a minute to yourself when on tour. Something tells me I would be spending all of my time completely alone. When I said I wanted to see the world, I didn’t mean watching the landscape flying past from a bus window.”

  “I can buy our own tour bus,” I offer. “We wouldn’t have to share it with the other band members. We’d have privacy and even a small kitchen for meals. It could be our own home on the road.”

  “What would that solve?” she asks. “Would that somehow create more time in your day? I have a life here, Luke. A life I’ve worked very hard to make. I can’t just throw it all away to chase you around the country. I can’t be your groupie.”

  “You wouldn’t need to work,” I try to explain. “I make plenty of money and I’d give you anything you want. In the off months when we’re not touring, you could keep busy furnishing my house in Nashville. Not my house, it would be our house. Change anything or everything, I don’t care. You would never have to work another day in your life. Think about all the fun things you could do with extra time.”

  Ginny raises her eyebrows doubtfully at me. “Not to sound ungrateful, because I do appreciate your offer, but I’m beginning to realize something,” she says. “Either you don’t know me very well now, or you aren’t accepting the woman I’ve become in the years you’ve been gone.”

  “What do you mean?” I ask, confused. “You’re the same girl I fell in love with years ago. My feelings never changed.”

  “You’re not understanding that I want to work. I love to work. I don’t want money handed to me like a child’s allowance. I need to earn my own way. My job gives me a feeling of accomplishment. Not the same as perhaps your music does for you. You’re an artist who is creating something. But my work still has value. Both to me and my employer.”

  “Doesn’t it get a little boring, though?” I ask. “Standing behind a pharmacy counter all day long listening to customers complain about their aches and pains?”

  “I guess it might be to some people,” she says with a laugh. “I’ve grown to love my customers. If I can help them in some way, whether it’s calling their insurance company or even warning them about side effects, it makes me feel like my job is worthwhile. I couldn’t go on tour with you and keep my pharmacist position.”

  “You might love life on the road,” I argue. “How do you know if you don’t try it?”

  “Didn’t you say the novelty was already wearing off for you?” she asks. “Yet you’re trying to convince me to give up everything and join you.”

  “You’re right,” I say, unable to meet her eyes. “I did say that.”

  “Let’s fast forward a few years. What would be the plan down the road if we decided to have kids one day? Are we supposed to drag a baby around on a tour bus? How about a nine-year-old? What kind of life is that for a child? What about their school and friends? Kids need stability and a stable home.” She motions to the kitchen window where we can see Lily playing outside. She’s sitting in a homemade wooden swing hanging from a rope attached to an oak tree. Grasping the rope tightly, she squeals as Matthew pushes her higher and higher. “Kids need space to play,” Ginny continues. “They don’t need photographers slinking around trying to take pictures of them. Look at how happy she is. The ranch is a good place to raise a child. To have a life and a family.” When Ginny returns her gaze to me, her eyes are filled with tears. “I can’t go to Nashville, and I’m sorry,” she says. “It wouldn’t work. We both know it.”

  “And I can’t stay,” I say, feeling defeated. “We’re back at the same spot we were seven long years ago. The same awful spot. I can’t believe it.”

  “I won’t ask you to stay because that would mean destroying your dreams,” she says softly. “I would never do that to you.”

  “We can’t just give up on each other because of our careers.”

  “I think that’s a simplified statement,” she says. “It’s not just our careers. With me, it’s family, friends, a home, and a job I’d be giving up. Whereas you’d be giving up the one thing that lights you up from within. Music makes you who you are. It’s your passion.”

  I stand up from the table and walk over to her side. I pull her up so I can wrap my arms around her. “Are you saying we’re over?” I ask, a sick feeling of dread settling in my heart. “Because I don’t believe it. I refuse to believe it.”

  She turns her eyes up to mine and gives me a sad smile. “Will we ever truly be over?”

  “Never,” I say. “We just need more time. I’m sure we can work something out if we put our heads together and stay open to possibilities.”

  “I feel the same way, except the anxiety of knowing you’re leaving is tough to bear. I would be thinking about it constantly.”

  “Can we agree to at least not end things right this minute?” I urge. “I can’t let you walk out of my life when you just came back into it. Give me a little more time. Please. To figure things out. That’s all I’m asking right now. What’s the worst thing that could happen?” Ginny hesitates, and I’m happy that she’s at least considering it. Indecision flickers across her face. “How about if we try doing a long-distance relationship at first when I go back to Nashville?”

  “You’re impossible to reach when you’re on tour,” she reminds me. “It took Matthew several days to get in touch with you about Charles.”

  “That was all my fault. I was a jerk and I take full responsibility. I promise, it won’t be that way. I’ve learned my lesson. I’d make time for you, Ginny. We can talk and text every day. On your weekends off, I’ll fly you to wherever I’m performing, or I’ll come back here.”

  “Is that what you want?” she asks, still unsure.

  “Not exactly, but it’s sure better than losing you completely. I’ll take anything I can get at this point. At least we should give it a try. Just don’t walk away from me now.”

  Ginny turns away from me and moves over to the kitchen window. “I’m not sure if I can do this,” she says. “It would be hard seeing your face on tabloid magazine covers with a different blonde woman every week. I would try not to notice, but you’re everywhere I turn these days. There’s no way I could ignore the gossip about you.”

  I slip up behind her, push her hair aside, and kiss the back of her soft neck. “I would never cheat on you. You know me well enough to know that. If you see photos of me with other women, they’re just for publicity. If I wanted anyone else, I wouldn’t be doing this right now.” I turn her around to kiss her gently on the lips.

  “I know you wouldn’t cheat on me,” she says. “I would still miss you terribly. Every day I would be thinking about you and wishing we were together like normal people.”

  “We’ll never be normal folks, Ginny. That ship sailed a long time ago. I can’t accept that we’re over because you haven’t given us a real chance. We’ve only had a couple of dates together and then everything went straight downhill. We need more time. I don’t know what else I can say to convince you. You’re shooting down anything I suggest without giving us a fair chance.”

  “I’ve thought about this nonstop since you walked back into my lif
e,” she says. “Trying to figure out if there’s any way for us to make it work. One of us would have to make a huge sacrifice for the other. It’s the only way. Who knows? Maybe one day our paths will cross again, and the time will be right then.”

  “You mean years down the road when my career is over?” I say. “Or when we’re both old and gray? We’re not promised those years, Ginny. Nobody is. Life doesn’t stop for anyone. My mom’s life was cut short by cancer. Take a good look at Dad. He didn’t have a clue Alzheimer’s was lurking in his brain even two years ago. We can’t bet on the future. All we have is this minute, right now.”

  “I don’t know what to do,” she says softly. “What do you want from me, Luke?”

  I reach out to cup the side of her face with both hands so I can gaze directly into her blue eyes. “One more chance. That’s all I’m asking. If I ever meant anything to you, give us that. That’s what I want.”

  Slowly she nods in agreement. “One more chance, Luke. We’d better make it count.”

  27

  Ginny

  Six weeks later in August…

  The long, lazy days of summer that we once took for granted have flown by in a hurry. Every day I rush home after work to cook dinner for Luke at my house or meet him at the ranch to spend time with his family.

  We spend our evenings sitting in rocking chairs on the wide front porch with his dad, drinking cold lemonade and watching Lily chase lightning bugs in the yard. When the temperature cools down, we go for rides in the truck across the ranch’s vast fields to check on the fences or to locate a missing cow. Sometimes Lily goes along too, sitting between us on the seat of the truck and giving us a running narrative of everything she sees.

  Life is easy and carefree. An exquisite, teasing taste of how our life could be if Luke stayed in Sweet Rose Canyon. Our lives have fallen into a happy, steady rhythm. Even so, I can’t forget the cruel fact that the summer I promised him is almost over. Any day now, I’ll lose Luke again. It’s on my mind all the time.