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Indian Giver

Page 5

by John Smelcer


  towards summer when the lengthening days

  will have no lasting darkness. He stands

  witnessing the season’s slow thaw and sings

  a hunter’s song across the sea.

  When Heaven Shits on the World

  In my Indian language the word

  for “falling star” is son’ tsaane

  which literally means “star shit”

  as if the heavens shit on the world.

  Listening to the news every day

  with its headlines of rapes and murders,

  deceit and greed, genocide and war,

  I think it could be true.

  How Reservations Got Their Name

  White government official comes out to see

  land selected for Indian resettlement;

  looks around, scratches his head and says,

  “I don’t know. I got some reservations about this place.”

  Indian Social Security

  At Eternal Poverty Reservation

  the First Baptist Church of Indian Conversion

  bingo hall is filled with smoke and laughter,

  hope and the greasy smell of fry bread,

  and prayers for rent or groceries

  are answered in the calling of letters and numbers.

  B-32 B-32

  If Willy Loman Had Been Indian

  After graduating from

  George Armstrong Custer High School

  Simon Lone Fight got a job selling insurance

  door-to-door on the reservation.

  He never sold a single policy.

  Other Indians just stared at him

  from behind screened doors

  wearing a dark suit and tie

  with a briefcase and hat in his hand,

  their empty hands in their empty pockets,

  puzzled by his sales pitch,

  wondering how one is insured against the future.

  What the Tour Guide Said

  “Oh, that,” said the bus driver

  in reply to a tourist’s question

  about a dilapidated and overgrown

  white picket-fenced area just

  behind the reservation’s cemetery.

  “That’s where the failed dreams

  of Indians go to be buried.”

  Anchorage

  He said his name was Harry when a white hotdog vendor told him to stand behind the stainless steel cart where tourists wouldn’t see him as they walked Fourth Avenue and into gift shops with Native souvenirs displayed in crowded storefronts. He wanted change for a dollar to call his son, but the vendor called him a drunk. “Harry, who’s committing hari kari with booze.” That’s what he said, but I didn’t smell anything on his breath. The Indian saw me, and while I traded coins he told me how his great grandfather was a shaman whose magic once filled Cook Inlet with shimmering salmon at a time when fish were few. He left me alone on the noisy street where two German tourists parked a zebra-striped motorcycle and ordered reindeer sausages with onions and green peppers, and a woman from New York City with a Gucci handbag passed with her catch of carved ivory and Eskimo masks.

  It’s All in the Blood

  Herbert Redskin was in a car accident

  and got a blood transfusion from a white guy.

  Afterward, he burned his BIA card,

  sold his allotment and moved off the rez

  to a suburb where he bought a condo,

  a gas grill, an SUV, golf clubs, and a flat screen TV,

  wore fat-ass Dockers and polo shirts,

  started a portfolio, listened to Kenny G.

  and prayed at the altar of Martha Stewart.

  Birthday Girl

  Nila Both-Feet-on-the-Ground

  came out of her mother backwards

  and stood in a slick pool asking questions

  about broken treaties and broken promises,

  what’s a reservation,

  why’s the house so poor;

  where’s her father;

  why’s she naked;

  and why’s everyone staring

  at her brown and blue eyes?

  Indians should always come out feet first,

  ready to hit the ground and make a stand

  or run at the first sign of trouble.

  (Native) America Enters the Atomic Age

  “Could it not be arranged to send the Small Pox among the Indians?”

  —Letter from Major General Jeffery Amherst, 1763

  In the spring of 1763, Chief Pontiac’s second cousin

  on his mother’s side, Seymour Kleerlee, had a vision.

  He saw an enormous silver eagle flying five miles

  above the earth with the words Enola Gay

  painted on the side. The bird laid a giant egg

  that fell and exploded over a city.

  In a flash as bright as the sun,

  100,000 people were vaporized—

  their spirits clambering into the swirling inferno.

  Seymour tried to warn his people, but everyone just laughed

  and said the government would never do anything so terrible.

  That winter, soldiers brought them a wagonload of blankets,

  and in the days and weeks to come,

  death unleashed soared the earth like an eagle.

  High Anxiety

  Nila Both-Feet-on-the-Ground

  had never flown in an airplane before.

  On the first time she labeled her body parts

  with a black permanent marker:

  Nila’s left arm, Nilas’s right foot,

  left breast, big toe, pinky, and so on.

  During turbulence, she counted body parts

  like worn beads on a rosary.

  Oneupmanship

  God got angry at Humanity

  So he created a cataclysmic Flood.

  Raven got angry at Indians

  So he created Christopher Columbus.

  Jimmy Stands-Too-Tall

  On the day Jimmy-Stands-Too-Tall hung himself

  the wind outside blew dust over everything

  commercials still played on his black and white tv

  his old dog spun in tight circles before lying down

  the stock market was up then down and up again

  traffic backed up on city freeways for miles

  1,684 babies were born prematurely

  Elvis was seen at a car wash

  credit card companies left three messages on the phone

  couples were married and divorced

  children conceived and unborn

  and the earth kept spinning and spinning.

  But all around the world there was nothing

  left of Jimmy Stands-Too-Tall

  but unpaid bills, empty beer cans and bottles,

  dirty dishes, and the sound of a weighted rope creaking.

  Recipe for a Reztini

  Two parts cheap gin or vodka

  One part of your youth

  Garnish with a strip of dried salmon or jerky

  Shake it in the backseat of a Pontiac

  doing 70 mph around Dead Man’s Curve

  Reservation Roulette

  My cousin, Kenny, and I are sitting on the porch

  of his HUD home drinking beer and bitching

  about the lack of jobs.

  A raven lands on a broken-down refrigerator

  used to smoke salmon.

  “God’s come to see us,” I say. We both laugh.

  After six beers each, Kenny brings out his .44 magnum,

  the hole so big I swear a Mack truck could turn around in it.

  He loads the cylinder with one bullet,

  spins it, and snaps it shut without looking.

  “God wants a show,” he says putting the barrel in his mouth

  and pulling the trigger five times in a hurry,

  like he’s got some place to go.

  “Shit,
man!” says Kenny, grabbing another beer.

  “Nothing works around here.”

  Ceremony

  for Kenny B.

  There’s only so many times you can holler,

  ‘Here, Bullet!’ before one comes a runnin’.

  I walk down to your grave by the river

  and turn my face up to the patient sky.

  In the gray shade of dusk

  I see the black bird of your spirit

  rising like a feather above the river

  and narrow field

  into a dark and rolling sundown

  slowly stealing toward the blue light

  of a distant pink mountain.

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  Indian Stompers

  “August 30, 1779. Toward noon we found some dead Indians and skinned two of them from their hips down to make leather boots; one pair for Major Platt, the other for myself.”

  —from the Journal of Lt. William Barton, under the command of General Sullivan’s expedition against Six Nation Indians

  Good thing

  it never caught on

  as a fad.

  Everyone

  would have wanted

  a pair.

  Salmonomics

  based on a true story

  “Let me try to explain it again,”

  said the man from the Department of Fish & Game

  as he looked out across the divided room—

  White commercial fisherman on one side;

  Indians on the other.

  “It’s really quite simple. You Indians have always

  been allowed to catch five hundred salmon

  from the river each summer.

  That’s not going to change under our new policy.

  We’re only going to increase the number of salmon

  these commercial fisherman can catch at the mouth

  of the river by half a million. So, you can plainly see

  that this really isn’t going to impact you at all.”

  The commercial fishermen applauded wildly.

  The Indians sat quietly doing arithmetic in their heads.

  The Last Speech of Chief Sits-on-the-Fence

  after a poem by Pastor Niemöller

  First they came for the Lakota

  and I did not fight because I was not Lakota.

  Then they came for the Sioux

  and I did not fight because I was not Sioux.

  Then they came for the Apache

  and I did not fight because I was not Apache.

  When they finally came for me

  there was no one left to fight with me.

  The Virginia Woolf Suicide of Mary Caught-in-Between

  Mary Caught-in-Between

  must have been made of clay,

  red as the soil of her ancestors.

  Every time it rained

  her features were dulled—

  her nose and shoulders,

  hips and knees, fingers and toes.

  Storm after storm, she was weathered

  away until one day she filled her pockets

  with stones and walked into the rising river,

  her feet firmly on the bottom

  until she became part of its clay bed.

  Dandelions in Full Bloom

  On the wintry day of his execution

  the Sioux poet Jimmy Blue Cloud

  sang his final poem to the sun,

  wrapped it tightly in sackcloth

  rent from his ragged clothes

  and buried it in the prison yard.

  Spring after spring

  the words of the poet

  sprouted into dandelions,

  their white fluffy heads

  spreading news of his innocence

  to the world.

  Home

  Standing on the edge of the silty river,

  snowy mountains in the distance

  waiting for the river to reclaim my blood,

  waiting for the earth to reclaim my bones.

  Red America

  ignorant america, see

  those Indian children

  in reservation schools

  failing history and english?

  they will be our poets

  writing the secret truths

  of your guilty nation.

  blind america, see

  those tourist shops

  full of Indian souvenirs?

  they are selling our past

  for trinkets made in taiwan.

  selfish america, see

  those Indians sleeping

  on your city streets?

  they are not lazy drunks

  dreaming of buffalo,

  they don’t have jobs

  because you won’t hire them.

  deaf america, hear

  us singing at powwows?

  they are not chants of

  rebellion, but love songs

  from a million broken hearts.

  stupid america, see

  that big Indian with

  a knife in his hand?

  he doesn’t want to cut you,

  he only wants to sit by a stream

  in a forest and carve totems.

  Tax Evasion

  After being audited by the IRS seven years in a row

  Willie Armstrong bought a puppy

  named him Loophole

  paid a retired tax collector

  to beat it four times a day until it was grown.

  Nowadays, that mean old dog can smell an IRS agent

  a mile away, and Willie’s always out the back door

  and halfway across the reservation

  by the time one of them comes aknockin’.

  Smoke Signal

  Duke Sky Thunder on his red Indian motorcycle

  at a stoplight in Albuquerque

  wearing a red bandana and a T-shirt

  that screams Indian Pride,

  Crazy Horse painted on the gas tank

  and a license plate that reads INJIN.

  A pickup truck with two Rednecks pulls alongside.

  The closer dude leans out the window and hollers,

  “I hate you sonabitches!”

  The second dude with really bad teeth yells,

  “Why don’t you go back wherever you came from?”

  When the light turns green, Sky Thunder grins and shouts,

  “Right back at ya!” and peels away—

  his long black hair whipping in the wind

  like a stallion’s mane, the smoke signal from his tailpipe

  rising like a finger.

  The One-Minute Racism Test

  A Black man and an Indian walk into a bar.

  The Black man smiles at the White bartender and says,

  “Gimme a beer, please. Whatever you got on tap.”

  The smiling Indian slaps a twenty on the counter and says,

  “I’ll take the same thing as my friend here.”

  For half an hour the bartender ignores their requests,

  serving other customers instead.

  Later, five angry White men beat them to death

  in the parking lot while bystanders look on.

  In this story, which person are you?

  Real Live Indian

  I’m sitting in a small Midwestern café when I see an old man and a boy walk up to an Indian sitting at the table next to me. “Excuse me,” says the old man. “This here is my grandson.” The Indian with long black hair nods hello. “What’s your name?” the Indian asks the blue-eyed little boy. “My name is Timmy. I’m in the third grade.” The Indian smiles, takes a b
ite of his pancakes. “We seen you from our table over there,” says the grandfather, pointing. “And I says to Timmy . . . I says, ‘that there’s a real live Indian.’ Darn if he didn’t say, ‘I didn’t know there were any Indians anymore.’ So I brung him over here to show him. See Timmy? A real live Indian. Go ahead, touch him. It don’t rub off.” Even from where I’m sitting I see the Indian’s jaw clench.

  My Frostbitten Heart

  I remember the day it happened—

  the day my heart was frozen.

  Thermometer read thirty below zero when we left the cabin

 

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