Ours: Book Six in The Everett Gaming Series

by Drew Sera

  “You worry about letting her out of your sight after what happened with Paul.”

  Since it was a statement and not a question, I didn't say anything back to him. He was right and knew it. I nodded when he put his hand on my shoulder and told me that I need to move forward just as we're helping Sydney to move forward. I knew I needed to talk to Chris about this. It's not healthy and hypocritical of me. I wasn’t allowing Sydney to be afraid of going out in public, but I wasn’t able to let go of those “what ifs” that floated around in my head. I was able to breathe easier when I saw Anthony and Sydney coming back towards us.

  “Well, I know you guys want to get home, but I want to show you something before you leave tonight.”

  I had no idea what this might be about, but we followed Blake towards the lobby. Once in the lobby, the attendant handed Anthony Sydney's sweater and he was helping her into it when Blake pointed to a large covered picture. I noticed there was an empty spot on the wall where the framed piece leaned against.

  “Sydney, I'm sure you have noticed that all of the photographs in the club are of members. Anthony did the rope work in our rope photographs.” Blake looked at Anthony and me now. “As a few members and I were rearranging some photographs and thought to replace some, it was a clear decision what we wanted to go in our lobby. We wanted something that would show the bond that is formed on the other side of those heavy doors. With your permission, I'd like to hang this here.”

  Blake motioned towards the covered picture, and with my heart pounding, I nudged Anthony toward the picture to remove the cover. When he did, I was staring at a black and white framed photo of our collaring ceremony. My chest clenched again, and I wrapped Sydney up in my arms.

  “Blake,” Anthony started and then looked back at me.

  The photo showed Sydney on her knees after we had just clasped the collar around her neck. She was naked, but her breasts weren't visible in the photo as my arm was blocking them. Anthony and I are shirtless and both just in jeans. I couldn't help but notice his weight in that photo compared to now.

  “Baby, what do you think?”

  Anthony and I really needed to search her for apprehension regarding the photo. Since she was naked it showed some wounds that at the time she was still recovering from.

  “I love it, Sir. It's a loving, yet strong picture.”

  “Sydney, there is nothing weak about love or the bond between a submissive and her Dom…or Doms. When Cathy and I brought the photo in last week, I can't tell you how many members had nothing but good things to say about it. And every single one of them said something similar about how obvious the bond of love is reflected in the three of you in this photo. Emotions aren't always easily captured in pictures. But this photograph screams it. Your trust in them, their desire for you and the love that all three of you have. It's a powerful photo and belongs here.”

  I loved the picture and Blake was so right. Anthony and Sydney were both quiet on the way home. I think they were both wiped out emotionally and physically. It was well after three in the morning when we got home, and as much as I would have preferred climbing into bed, the three of us need a shower. Sydney hadn't said too much since we arrived home but I noticed that she was a little extra clingy with Anthony. That was to be expected after their special time.

  "Col, wake up, man," I faintly heard Anthony say and then I felt his hand shaking my shoulder.

  My eyes felt like they were sewn shut. I was dead tired, but the second that I heard Sydney's whimper, my eyes popped right open. She had woken up from a bad dream. A terrible dream. She was in hysterics, and I could barely make out the words or fragments that she was saying.

  I turned the lights on as she was panicking and trying to get off the bed. Anthony reached out and had her arm in his hand, but she pulled away from him. Rather than grip her tightly around her wrist, Anthony let go of her and she raced into the bathroom in tears.

  Anthony and I were both right behind her and caught up to her once she reached the bathroom counter. She ignored our attempts to get her to tell us what she was dreaming of or what was wrong. Sydney stood on her tip toes sideways and looked at the mirror. She ran her shaking hands over the small scar that served as a physical reminder that Paul had been there.

  "It's...it's not..." Sydney stared at it in disbelief. I took hold of her chin and looked into her scared eyes.

  "What, baby? Sydney, try to tell us what you're feeling and thinking."

  Anthony stood to the side with his hand over his stomach as he watched her fall apart. I worried that Sydney may begin to shut down on us.

  "It's not...bleeding."

  Sydney looked up at me with tormented eyes and then broke down again. I pulled her against me and wrapped my arms tightly around her.

  "No, baby. No blood. Come on, sweetheart."

  I picked her up and carried her back to our room, but instead of going to our bed, I sat down on one of the chairs. Anthony came over a few moments later with some ibuprofen, water, and a cool washcloth. She took the pills without issue and then leaned her head against my chest while I held the cool cloth on her forehead.

  "Did you dream that it was bleeding, baby?"

  "Yes. I cried when he gave it to me. It hurt so much. He told me if I cried, he would hurt Anthony." Her body was wracked by tears. Paul fucked with her mind in so many ways. "I tried so hard not to cry, but it hurt so much. It bled a lot, and it stung when he hosed me off."

  Fucking asshole. If Anthony hadn't killed him, I would have. Paul would put Sydney in a dog collar and attach a leash to it and take her for a walk each day. Before he took her back inside, he'd hose her off. He treated her worse than an animal, and it made me sick.

  I stroked her hair and face while Anthony held his hand over her back protectively. This was a terrible dream, and she was very unsettled by it, which in turn left Anthony and me unsettled. We hated seeing her in any sort of physical or emotional pain.

  Anthony and I sat up with her until she calmed down and eventually fell asleep in my arms. I was able to get a few more hours of sleep and slammed my hand down on the alarm clock when it alerted me of the need to move my ass out of bed. Sydney started to sit up, but I gently pushed her to lie back down.

  "Baby, I want you to stay in bed and rest."

  "But, Sir. I want to take a shower with you guys and get breakfast ready. Today is a big day for you guys."

  "I know, baby. Which is why I want you to rest. I don't want you tired for this evening."

  She nodded and looked heart broken. I wanted her to rest. She was up crying and terrified to sleep due to the nightmare.

  "Col, maybe you should stay home with her this morning. Both of you could sleep some more."

  I stared at Anthony. I needed to be in the office today to finalize some things regarding the Cheng entertainment week. Anthony suggested that he'd go into the office and leave around 2:00 and would come home and take a nap before tonight. It wasn't a bad idea.

  Sydney and I stayed in bed for a while longer and chatted with Anthony while he got ready for work. Aside from looking a little tired, he seemed to be doing okay. I was trying to keep my eye on him especially after their scene last night at Irons. He had been very physical with Sydney, and it may have pushed Sydney to her line some, but he never went over the line. He knew right where she was at. But because she went to the edge with him, it was all that more special to Anthony. And from what I’ve discovered recently when Anthony hits top space, he comes down hard. In all my years of co-topping with him, he had never hit top space. Sydney has brought that on for him a handful of times, and he doesn’t handle the drop too well. With those concerns idling in my head, I nudged Sydney.

  “Baby, let’s go start breakfast for Anthony. Then you and I can come back to bed.”

  A broad smile appeared on her face, and she crawled out of bed with me. I pulled on some lounge pants, and Sydney slipped into one of Anthony’s t-shirts that hung over the back of the chair in our sitting area. He
frowned at us when he came out of the closet tying his tie.

  “I thought you guys were going to sleep some.”

  “We’re going to have breakfast with you and then come back to bed,” I said.

  “Works for me. It means more time for me to hold our girl.”

  Anthony bent down and kissed Sydney’s forehead and squeezed one of her breasts.

  During breakfast, I was convinced that Anthony was doing just fine. After he left, Sydney and I went back to bed.

  16

  Monday, March 10th

  Anthony

  Even though I was dead tired, I felt that I had an extra spring in my step. My play time with Sydney was unbelievable at Irons, and I began thinking about exploring more rope play with her. As long as Colin is there to help support her and be another set of eyes for her, I think she’ll feel comfortable trying some new things.

  As I walked into my office, my phone vibrated with an incoming text, and I quickly pulled it out. I was expecting to see a text from Colin or Sydney. I had hoped it would have been Sydney with some flirty text or a smiley face. I was slightly disappointed when I saw it was Blake.

  BE: Lunch today?

  I set my phone down on the desk and took my suit jacket off while I mentally ran through my schedule for the day. Pulling the picture frame from the box that Colin and Sydney gave me, I sat down and stared at it. We were each hurting in that picture that day, but we had one another.

  My eyes roamed Sydney’s face, neck, and arms in that picture. Any exposed skin, I stared at. My thumb glided over her face in the picture as I whispered, “I love you, sunshine.” There were so many reminders that Paul had been there.

  Fucking Paul.

  The ground was so cold that night. The sound of the gun going off reverberated in my chest as my cell phone vibrated again. My heart was pounding, and my stomach instantly began hurting. Fucking pull it together! I got up from my desk and walked to shut my door. I didn’t need any interruptions right now. I grabbed a Coke from my wet bar, my cell phone and sat down on my couch. Blake’s text was still staring at me.

  AG: I can do lunch. Noon, Vito’s.

  Scrolling through my cell phone pictures of Sydney calmed me down. She was the reason I have no regrets for pulling the trigger.

  Eventually, a knock on my office door pulled me from my thoughts. I opened it to find Mitch on the other side. He was looking at me funny.

  “What?”

  “The eleven o’clock,” he said.

  I glance at my watch; it was five after eleven. Shit. I sidestepped Mitch and headed to the conference room.

  “You doing okay, Anthony?” Mitch quietly asked as we made our way down the hall.

  “Yeah, I got sidetracked. Sorry about that.”

  Mitch put his hand on my bicep to stop our walking. Fucking hell. I put my hands on my hips and looked at him.

  “You’re pale.”

  “My stomach is bugging me this morning. I sipped on some Coke. It’ll subside. Look, we’re already late.”

  When I was certain that he wasn’t going to cause a scene, I proceeded down the hall while rolling my sleeves up and loosening my tie. I was doing fine and was able to make it through most of the meeting without issue until someone knocked a thick, heavy binder onto the floor.

  I had been drinking from a bottle of water when it occurred, startling me. Water spilled down my chin and onto my shirt. I could feel everyone’s eyes on me, especially Mitch’s, as I tried to control the situation quickly. James brought over a few paper towels, and Mitch spoke, encouraging the speaker to continue. I held a paper towel over the large damp spot on my chest and glued my eyes to the speaker for the rest of his presentation. I was able to begin calming down with my hand over my chest.

  My eyes never moved from him, but I heard none of it. All I heard was the gun going off in my head, over and over.

  As people began filing out of the conference room, I stayed in my seat, as did Mitch. The door to the conference room gently clicked shut.

  “Anthony,”

  I nodded and looked at him.

  “I know, Mitch. I’m working on it.”

  I knew that Mitch would leave it alone, and I left the conference room and headed to the elevator. Blake was my next stop. Blake has been able to read me pretty well, and instead of being worried about seeing him, I was actually relieved.

  17

  Monday, March 10th

  Blake

  “Good afternoon, how many in your party?”

  “Three, please. A table on your patio if one is available,” I told the hostess.

  The weather was perfect, and I know that Anthony and Colin enjoy sitting outside at this restaurant. I sipped my iced tea while I waited.

  Anthony was alone, and I could tell by the way he walked to the table that something was on his mind. I know better than to push him too much, he doesn’t react well to it. He never has.

  This has been the first time that I’ve been able to see him alone since he’s been back. While he was in California for a few weeks, there wasn’t a day that went by where my thoughts and concerns weren’t on him. I wanted to reach out to them while they were away, but they needed their space. And just because he got his space, doesn’t mean my worry has lessened. I was hoping to just have lunch today with Anthony so I could see how he was doing.

  “Hey,” Anthony said as he pulled out the chair across from me and flopped down in it.

  “Afternoon. No Colin?”

  “No, he stayed home with Sydney and is going into the office this afternoon.”

  He grabbed a menu and started flipping pages. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed that one of his legs started bouncing. One of his hands moved from the menu to his abdomen. I could tell that he was nervous or on edge about something.

  “You and Colin have been coming here for years.” I continued to watch him struggle with keeping it together. I took my sunglasses off and set them to the side. Anthony continued to flip mindlessly through the menu. I knew that he wasn’t actually reading it. “Anthony, relax.”

  He took a deep breath, closed the menu, and leaned back in his seat. A waitress came over and took our orders once she saw Anthony had closed his menu. He only ordered a bowl of soup, which I had to bite my tongue at. I had to pick my battles with him. When the waitress left, Anthony tossed his sunglasses on the table next to mine and grabbed a roll from the basket on the table.

  I wasn’t at all surprised when I saw worry and stress littered on his face. I took a deep breath as I looked at him. He had had such a pleasant evening last night with Sydney in the club, and I was wondering if this was a carryover from last night.

  “I, um, had a rough morning, Blake,” wearily he offered up.

  Anthony volunteering info on his feelings has been a rare occasion. I began to worry about how bad whatever was on his mind was since he was offering to talk.

  “I was thinking about Paul this morning at work.” He paused and focused on the roll in his hand as he pulled at it. I remained quiet, and his frustration seemed to grow. He tossed his roll on the plate and rubbed his forehead with his thumb and index finger. “Something dropped on the floor during a meeting this morning, and it startled me. I ended up spilling water all down my shirt.” He reached for his Coke and pulled a piece of the roll off and tossed it in his mouth. “Fucking sounded like the gun to me.”

  I thought that maybe if I opened up a bit to him that he’d feel better about his own reactions to loud noises.

  “While you were in California, I started meeting with a psychologist. One that specializes in traumatic crimes.” I could tell that Anthony was surprised, but I also saw relief on his face. Maybe it was comforting for him to know that he wasn’t the only one going through this. “I had been having some sleep disturbances while you were in the hospital. But I knew that I needed to talk to someone when it started affecting Cathy, Kelsie, and Noah. I was watching Cathy paddle Noah, just like all the other times. Nothing different. The
noise from the contact of the paddle on Noah’s skin hit me hard. I was no longer in that room with them, but in the woods with you on that cold night.”

  “Fuck.”

  “I left the room and cuddled up with Kelsie for the rest of the night. The next morning, I made an appointment to talk with someone.”

  Our food was delivered to the table, and we both slowly started eating.

  “Has it been helping? Do noises still set you off?”

  “It’s helped to talk to someone else.” I watched him push his soup around. I hated seeing Anthony struggle. I felt helpless sitting there watching him, knowing how much is running through his head. “Son, you’ve got to expel this. It’s going to destroy you otherwise.”

  “I know, and I can’t let it. Sydney and Colin need me…and I need them.”

  “Have you been talking to Chris?”

  “Not too much about this. A lot of our chats are about Sydney while we’re with her. And…I don’t think I can vocalize this stuff, yet. I can’t put any more on Colin right now.”

  “What about Matt?”

  “I don’t know. I’ve forgiven him, but I just can’t yet.”

  I understood. Matt really fucked up the way he handled the Victor situation. What he thought he was accomplishing by taking Victor to their home is beyond me.

  “How about me then?”

  “You’re dealing with it too.”

  “Exactly.”

  He hadn’t outwardly said no, so that was a good sign. Anthony nodded and said he’d try. Major accomplishment. He needs to be able to get this out, and if I end up having more disturbing dreams from listening to him recount that horrific night, then I’ll be happy I took a burden off his shoulders.

  18