by BJ Harvey
I grin at her. “We should think of the environment. Save water and all that.”
“So you’re staying?” she asks, and I definitely like the hopefulness I catch in her voice.
“I have the whole weekend off and I’d love to spend it with you if you’ll have me.”
“Awesome,” she says, putting her hand on my chest and leaning into me.
“How about you show me just how awesome it is when we get into the shower?” I reply with a grin.
“Already?” she says, her eyes going wide. She acts like I have a superhuman recovery time and just that thought alone makes me feel fucking fantastic.
As we’re eating breakfast, Abi saunters out of her bedroom and straight to the coffee maker, pouring herself a cup before turning around, leaning back against the counter and taking a long slow draw from it.
“Morning,” Dani says, sounding overly cheerful because one look at her roommate and there’s no doubt in my mind that she has the hangover to beat all hangovers.
“No need to talk so loud,” Abi whispers and I chuckle under my breath.
Footsteps come down the hallway behind my back and I catch Dani’s eyes going as big as saucers. Wondering what the hell is going on, I look over my shoulder to see our mutual friend—and one of the last people I’d want to catch me in Dani’s apartment first thing in the morning—Cade walking toward the front door.
“Fuck,” he spits out. “How is this even possible?” he asks, looking between Dani, me, and a half-asleep Abi cradles her coffee mug as if it’s a gift from the gods.
“I’ll be back in a minute,” I say quickly, reaching out and squeezing Dani’s hand before getting off my stool and moving toward Cade. “We gotta talk,” I say to him as I get close.
“Fuck yeah we do,” he growls before opening the front door and letting me through. “I’ll call you,” he says to Abi before following me out into the corridor and shutting the door behind him.
“What the fuck are you doing, man?” he says, launching in as we walk down the hall.
“You’re the last fucking person I expected to see walking out of Abi’s room.”
“I guessed that by the oh shit look on your face. I had no clue she was Danika’s roommate so I’m just as shocked as you.”
“How did that happen?”
“I was at Throb last night. Saw her, liked her, she liked me, one thing led to another—you know how it goes. Didn’t expect to hear her roommate having sex through the wall and definitely didn’t expect to find out you’re screwing Zander’s sister. That’s fucked up beyond recognition, Zach.”
“I can’t ask you to lie, but I need some time,” I explain, coming to a stop as he steps forward and pushes the elevator call button.
“I bet you do, considering Zander will kick your ass and have your balls for touching her. She’s not like Zoe and Mia; she’s Danika. He holds her above them all and you fucking know it.”
Feeling my anger rise to the surface, I move chest to chest with him, unable to control my reaction. “You think, knowing the man I am, that I would go there with Dani if it was just sex?” I poke his chest with my finger and continue, “You think I would risk my friendship with Zander for a fling with his baby sister?”
The elevator arrives and the doors open, but neither of us move.
Cade stands there, watching me. Then he sighs and holds his hands up in a placating gesture. “No, I don’t think you would. But, Zach, you’ve gotta know that however this goes down, it isn’t going to end well with him.”
“This has been tearing me apart, Cade. I didn’t look for this to happen, it just did.”
“How long?”
“What?”
“How long has it been going on?”
I think about lying but what’s the point. “Since Matt and Mia’s wedding get-together.”
“Fuuuuck,” he says running his hand through his hair and staring at the ground. “Don’t know what to say, man, but it would be better if you told him straight up. He’s going to lose his shit however it happens, but it’ll be worse if he finds out from someone else.”
“We just need some more time,” I explain. “At first, Dani wanted to keep it quiet so that there would be no pressure and honest to God, one kiss from her and I wanted to hand her the world. We agreed that we would only keep it quiet until we knew whether it was going somewhere.”
“And do you know yet?’
“Nowhere else I’d rather be,” I say without missing a beat.
“Then tell him. Weather the storm and hope like hell Zander sees what I’m seeing now.”
“And what’s that?” I ask, holding my breath for his answer.
“A man who’s willing to risk everything on the chance of something good, whatever the consequences, and from what I saw in there, it’s going to be worth it.”
The elevator dings and I make a snap decision to cover off one last thing before he goes. “So should we talk about the sex—”
“Nope. But I can now say we know way too much about each other.”
“You going to see Abi again?”
“Don’t know. It was a one-night thing. Don’t really have time for more.”
“Does she know that?”
“There wasn’t much talking going on,” he says, stepping into the elevator. “I’ve never met a chick like her.”
“She’s a live one, that’s for sure.”
“Right. Good chat and all that,” he says with a smirk, and I can’t help but let out a relieved laugh. I give him a chin lift and as soon as the doors close, I turn around and slowly make my way back to Dani.
I walk through her front door to find Dani interrogating a still half-asleep—possibly half-drunk—Abi.
“How did you even meet him?” she asks.
“He was at Throb last night. We got talking, we got drinking, we ended up here.” Abi’s eyes track me as I walk across the room and wrap my arms around Dani’s shoulders. “By the way, you’re a moaner,” she adds with a grin.
Dani groans and leans her head back to look up at me. “Cade’s now heard us having sex.”
“Yep,” I confirm, my lips twitching at the horrified look on her face. Kissing her forehead, I murmur, “It’s all good, sweetheart,” hoping it’ll ease her worry.
“It was hot though,” Abi adds, and I just lift my head in time for Dani’s to jerk up and glare at her roommate. “Not funny, Abs. He might tell Zander . . .”
“True, but he won’t,” she says, deadpan.
“You’ve known him for twenty-four hours. I’ve known him for a hell of lot longer, and there’s such a thing as guy code,” Dani explains, her voice terse.
“It’s going to be fine. We had a chat; he knows where we’re at. He doesn’t like the secrecy but he understands,” I reply.
“That’s something I suppose,” she grumbles.
“Ever thought about just putting it out there and dealing with it?” Abi asks and Dani’s head jerks back to look at her.
“No!” she says emphatically. “Not yet, it’s too soon, it’s—” Dani sounds terrified. I place my hands on her tight shoulders to try and calm her.
Abi’s eyes widen. “Why? Two people know now. I’m not going to tell anyone and I doubt Cade will either but things happen, shit gets said, and it could come out without anyone meaning it to.”
“Not yet,” Dani repeats, this time quieter. I wish to God I knew what she was so scared about. I’d never let anything happen to her, especially if it was because of me. I would’ve thought she’d know that.
Abi downs the rest of her coffee and puts her mug on the bench. “Nice chat and all that, but I’ve gotta have a shower then head off to the gym. I’ll catch you cats later. Have fun while I’m gone, and if you can’t, at least be loud faking it,” she adds with a wink and unable to do anything else, I burst out laughing, relishing the thought that if anything comes of her earlier sexual interlude, Cade is going to have his hands full.
“Sweetheart, you’ve go
tta tell me why you’re so afraid of people knowing about us.”
She looks up at me and shakes her head, wrapping her arms around my waist to pull me into her. “I just need time.”
I run my hands up the side of her neck to cup her jaw and sweep my thumbs across her cheeks. “It’s been almost three months, Dani. The longer we wait, the worse it’ll be.”
“I like it, just the two of us.”
“You said that at the start. Have I not proven to you that I’m one hundred percent in?”
Her eyes flash with surprise. “Of course. You’re amazing.”
“Well since you’d been watching me for so long, I kind of thought you already knew that,” I add with a smirk.
Her hands playfully whack my back. “You know what I mean. I don’t want to lose you—or him—I’m kinda hoping he won’t be angry at either of us.”
“That’s a nice thought, sweetheart, but I’m the one in the wrong here.” She opens her mouth but I silence her with a thumb pressing into her lips. “I’m not saying it is wrong, I’m saying that I’m the one who is betraying his trust and going behind his back. You can’t help that you’re too damn cute and irresistible for your own good.”
Then I lower my head and kiss her, pouring everything I feel into the slow sweep of my tongue against hers.
“We’ll wait for a little bit longer,” I murmur on her lips and this time she starts the kiss.
I can give her more time, I know I can, I just hope that I’m not wrecked in the meantime.
We’ve spent four months together, and Zach still manages to make me smile whenever I see him. Today it’s with a surprise lunch visit at work.
“What are you doing here?” I ask, walking into reception to see my gorgeous smiling man waiting for me.
“Thought I’d surprise you,” he says, giving me a far too short kiss on the lips when I reach him.
“You’ve definitely done that.” I return his grin and catch sight of a brown takeout bag on the seat behind him. “What’s that?” I ask, nodding at the bag.
“A surprise. I thought we could go to the park and get some fresh air.”
“Let me grab my purse and I’ll be back.” I spin around to walk toward my cubicle but Zach’s hand shoots out and grabs my wrist gently.
“You don’t need it. Everything you need is right here,” he says with a knowing glint in his eye.
“Is that right?” I say with a laugh.
He quirks a brow. “You saying I don’t meet your needs, Little Grasshopper?”
I giggle and lace my fingers with his. “I can’t remember. I might need a reminder.”
“That I can do. Let’s go,” he says, leading me out of the building.
Ten minutes later, we find a nice shady spot under a tree in a nearby park. As soon as Zach sits down, he leans back against the trunk, pulls me into his lap, and lays a hot and heavy one on me. My hands glide into his hair and without a care in the world, I kiss him back.
“I missed you this week,” he murmurs against my lips when we ease away from each other.
“I think you just showed me that with your welcome kiss.”
He shrugs and shoots me a wicked grin. “Didn’t think I’d get away with doing that at your office so I had to get creative.”
“Big points for location and the surprise factor, but the deciding factor will be what you chose to feed me with.”
“I have a few ideas of things that’ll keep you satisfied,” he retorts, and I bat at his chest.
“Don’t turn me on when I can’t do anything about it, mister.”
“Kids these days,” he says, shaking his head in mock disbelief, “no sense of adventure.”
“I’ll have you know I can be adventurous.” I hop off his lap and sit down close beside him.
“Maybe I should take notes,” he muses, making me laugh.
“It would be more of a show than a tell.”
“Then I definitely think you should give me a hands-on demonstration in my bed tonight.”
My heart skips a beat at the invitation but I sigh and shake my head. “Wish I could, but I’ve got dinner at Kate and Zander’s, remember?”
“Forgot about that,” he says quietly.
Deciding a change of topic is needed, I reach over him and make a grab for the bag of food. “So are you going to feed me then?”
He snatches the bag out of my hands, and holding it out of reach, opens it up and pulls out two sandwiches and two cans of soda.
“Thank you,” I say, accepting the food from him and unwrapping the sandwich before taking a big bite.
“You like?”
“Mmm-hmm,” I reply with a nod and a grin.
“Good,” he says. “What fun is lunch if there’s no eating involved?”
I gasp. “Zach! What did I say about turning me on?”
He gives me a wide, white-toothed smile. “You’re easy.”
“I’m starting to think I’m too easy,” I retort. “Maybe I should play harder to get.”
“If things keep going the way they are, our lives are going to be hard enough anyway.”
Boom. There goes the proverbial lead balloon exploding.
Although things between us have been amazingly awesome, I’ve sensed Zach’s growing frustration at having to sneak around. Not that we have been hiding out—as such—but certain things keep coming up that remind the both of us of exactly what we’re doing.
“How easy would it be if everything was already out in the open and we were able to go together to Kate and Zander’s?”
“I know,” I say quietly, not meeting his eyes. “But it’s not that easy . . .”
“The longer we hide it, the harder it’s going to get.”
“It’s getting to you, isn’t it?”
“I can’t say it’s a hell of a lot of fun. Sunday, I had to sit there listening to Zander talking to Noah and Daniel about how you’re apparently dating someone but it’s early days. Your brother was happy for you, happy you were taking his advice and putting yourself out there, and I couldn’t say a fucking thing.” His voice is tight, and turning my body to look at him, I see frustration etched in his features.
“I like it just being us. As soon as it’s out there, everything will change.”
“It’s still going to be just us—we just won’t have to hide it from anyone. I’m proud to be with you, fucking ecstatic that you want to be with me. I want to yell it from the rooftops.”
“I need more time. I want more time with you without the pressure from them.” Tears sting my eyes. I hate that I’m doing this to him. He makes me happy, he gives me everything I’ve ever wanted in a relationship and here I am, being a royal pain in the ass.
Zach puts his hand on my knee, his warm skin against mine centering me. “We’re going to have to talk about how we’ll tell him, Dan. Not tonight, not tomorrow, but soon, yeah?”
“I don’t want to disappoint them,” I say, my voice wavering. He blinks and his brow furrows and I know I need to explain myself further. “Not because I’m with you. Because it is you. You’re Zander’s best friend, the man he trusts above anyone else. We’ve gone behind everyone’s backs and I do not regret that for a second, you’ve gotta believe me on that. This is just something I wanted to do on my own.”
My stomach clenches, and suddenly I feel like I can’t breathe as irrational fear grabs hold of me. “Danika, look at me,” Zach says softly. My eyes, which were tightly closed, slowly open, and my gaze drifts up to meet his.
“You are beautiful.” He kneels on the ground beside me, his hands gliding up my sides to squeeze my shoulders, only stopping when he’s cupping my jaw and looking down at me. “You are sexy.” He lowers his lips to gently brush against mine. “You are clever and cute, and so fucking tempting I struggle not to go hard at just the memory of you, let alone knowing I can bury myself inside you whenever I want.”
The corner of my mouth twitches and he breathes a loud sigh of relief before he continues, “Your brot
her loves you, and I’ve never been one, but my guess is that big brothers will always see their sisters as gangly fourteen-year-old girls who need their protection, and not the adorably goofy, gorgeous women they grow up to be. Especially ones who are lucky enough to get worshipped by a hot firefighter on a regular basis.” He winks at me and gives me a wicked smile.
“A hot firefighter, huh?” I ask, biting my lip.
He drops his hands to my armpits and pulls me up to my knees. “Scorching,” he says roughly.
“Does he like the adorably goofy, gorgeous woman as much as she likes him?” I ask, my heart beating a mile a minute in my chest as I watch his eyes go soft, and right then I wish our relationship was in a place where I could tell him that I love him instead of just thinking it. But we’re just not there . . . yet.
Rather than answering me, he slides his hands into my hair and tilts my head to the side before proceeding to kiss the ever-loving shit out of me. When he finally finishes delivering the message and I catch my breath again, I whisper, “Thank you.”
“Anything you need, anytime you need it, I promise you, but please think about it. We can face the music together.”
“Okay,” I whisper, but inside my stomach twists like a pretzel.
He moves back down to the tree and pulls me into his side to sit next to him. We may not have reached a consensus but now I really know that the secrecy is wearing on Zach.
Maybe once we’re through the other side, we‘ll all laugh about it.
One can only hope.
I head straight from work to my brother’s house, walking in to be met by their adorable Pug, Buster, and a running-at-full-pace Rose, both circling the island delineating the kitchen and large sweeping living area.
“Buster, give me back Barbie!” my niece screeches, failing spectacularly in reclaiming her dog’s new chew toy. “Hey, Aunnie Dani,” she says before disappearing out of the room.
“Hey,” Kate says, laughing from her position next to the stovetop. “She’s been like a flea in a fit since I picked her up from daycare.”
“So typical Rose then?”
“Yep,” she adds. “Would you like a glass of wine?”
“Definitely,” I say on a sigh, putting my phone on the counter and sitting down in front of it.
