Game Maker (Game #2)

by BJ Harvey

  “You think I don’t know that?” he spits out. “He’s like a brother to me, Dani, and I went there with you knowing that I might lose him the moment he found out about us.”

  “I might lose you too.” I watch his face gentle and the sight alone renders me speechless.

  “Sweetheart, I’ll be lucky to be left breathing when your brother finds out that not only am I dating but also sleeping with his baby sister, but more than that—I’ve been lying to him and doing it behind his back for five months.”

  Any fight I had left in me disappears, guilt taking its place. I’ve done this. All of this, however it plays out, is going to be on me. I open my mouth but don’t get a chance to say anything.

  “No, Dani, don’t do that. Do not question what we’ve got and how we got here. I’d do it all over again just to be where we are now and have what we have together. What I’m saying is, when Zan finds out—and he will find out, no doubt about it—if I’m still able to move, I’ll be dead to him anyway.”

  “I’m sorry,” I sob, turning away and dropping my head in my hands to hide my face.

  “It is what it is. But believe me when I say I went into this with my eyes open. I knew the risk and knew deep in my bones that you’d be worth that heartache, and I wasn’t fucking wrong.”

  Tears that I was barely managing to hold at bay spill down my cheeks, but I don’t dare look away from the tortured eyes of the man I love standing in front of me. “I’ve never had to deal with anything like this before. I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing.”

  “Swear to God, Dani,” he spits out, walking back around and stopping on the other side of the ottoman. My head jerks back at the anger in his voice. I’ve never seen him mad or frustrated—like never. “You’re the smartest person I know so don’t use the age excuse when you’ve never—not once—had an issue with it. Cut the bullshit and tell me what I have to do to make you see what I see.”

  “I see it.”

  “Then fucking come to me now and prove it, sweetheart.” His voice is thick and gruff with feeling.

  Without hesitation I jump up and rush him, falling into his arms with a sob. I reach up and pull his face down, pressing my lips against his, desperate to show him everything I feel for him and everything he means to me.

  He grips my ass and jerks me up, my legs wrapping around his and clinging to him as he walks me over to the couch and lays me down. Reaching behind his back, he tugs his shirt off over his head before coming down on top of me, his hands wrenching my skirt up to my waist then pulling off my panties. Then his fingers are there, stroking me as I pull his mouth to mine and continue kissing him, moaning against his lips with every expert glide over my clit.

  His hand between my legs moves away, his fingers deftly unbuttoning his slacks and freeing his cock. Biting my bottom lip, he thrusts his tongue in my mouth at the exact same time he drives himself deep inside me.

  Meeting him stroke for stroke, thrust for thrust, I run my hands around his chest, gripping his biceps, my nails biting into his skin as he plunges in and out. Looking down between us, I watch him move, our intimate connection so erotic and amazing, the intensity of it all blazes through me. There’s desperation in the way he takes me and I know that something has changed between us, both thrilling me while making me feel uneasy at the same time.

  Rounding my hands over his shoulders, I pull him closer, wanting his weight as he continues to make love to me. It feels like love. I want it to be love.

  I want him to know every single thing I feel for him deep down in his bones.

  His lips glide up my neck to the corner of my lips as I drag my hands over his shoulders and into his hair, holding his mouth to mine and pour everything I feel for him into the kiss, lifting my hips up to meet him thrust for thrust.

  My orgasm takes me by surprise, coming at me like a freight train on a journey to oblivion. Zach soon follows, groaning low and deep into my mouth as he plants himself to the hilt and finishes with a slow, lingering sweep of his tongue against mine.

  I should feel sated, replete in the afterglow of a sensational climax. Instead, I feel unsure of what just happened and what it meant.

  I fall asleep with his lips nuzzling my neck, my limbs clinging to him tightly as we lie half naked on his couch in our little bubble of freedom. I wish—and hope—we could somehow stay this way forever.

  “Yes,” I moan, grinding down against him the next morning, Zach having relocated us to his bed—and stripped me off—sometime late the night before.

  “Fucking beautiful,” he says gruffly against my skin, his lips brushing my neck. His breath comes hard and fast in time with the upward thrusts of his cock, and my orgasm barrels toward me.

  “Feels so good,” I pant. His hand tightens around my back and his fingers zero in on my wonder button, stroking with expert precision and making my pussy clench around him. My body contorts as if it’s possessed.

  “Jesus. Fuck,” Zach growls, planting his feet on the bed and bucking up one last time before following me over the edge as he pours himself inside of me.

  We collapse backwards, my legs falling limp on the way down, and together we lie there, chests heaving, bodies stuck together, struggling to catch our breath.

  “Every time is better than the last,” he murmurs in my ear, sucking my earlobe into his mouth afterwards. I whimper and my muscles spasm as aftershocks course through me. Shifting sideways, I stay draped over him, my fingers drawing mindless circles in the smattering of hair on his damp chest.

  “What’s on the agenda today?” he asks, his hand running through my hair, roots to ends.

  “Team meeting at eleven, lunchtime conference call with the west coast programmers at one, then I get to go play.”

  “Such a geek,” he chuckles.

  I jerk my head up and narrow my eyes at him. He just smirks, and my twitching lips give away how uncommitted I am to the death stare aimed his way. “Your geek.”

  “You better fucking believe it,” he replies with conviction, his arm snaking around my waist, giving a meaningful squeeze.

  “I know it, firebug.”

  Now he out-and-out grins. “Never going to live it down, am I?”

  I push up with one hand on the bed so that my head hovers over his, our lips just an inch apart. “Never,” I whisper. “But that’s okay. I still love you.”

  His entire body goes still and my eyes go wide as realization hits me. Way to go, Dani. Perfect time to freak him out.

  My brain catches up with my body and flight mode kicks in. I move quickly, rolling backwards and scrambling off the bed. Making a smash-and-grab attempt, I scoop up my clothes scattered over his bedroom floor, but the first step toward escape is hampered by an arm wrapping around my waist.

  I fall back and slam into his naked chest, my entire body going still at the contact.

  “Wait a minute, Dani. You can’t say something like that then fly out of here like a bat out of hell.”

  “Bats like hell. They live there.”

  “They live in caves. Stop trying to change the subject.”

  Deciding that redirecting this inevitable conversation is the best plan of attack, I continue, “I really have to go, Zach. I’ve still got to go home, shower, get dressed, and then get to work.”

  “It’s only six, and you just told me your first meeting isn’t till eleven.”

  “I’ve got a lot of stuff to do before then.”

  “I’ll drive you home, then to the office if it means you’ll turn around. I want to look in your eyes when I tell you I love you back.”

  For the second time in as many minutes, my heart stutters to a halt. There’s no way in hell I’m in flight mode now.

  Seven years ago, I fell in teenage-girl love with Zach Cooper, my older brother’s roommate and best friend. Five months ago, I fell into adult insta-lust with him the night I told him what I wanted. I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t imagined—many times—what it would be like to hear him say these three l
ittle words to me.

  And having now experienced it, the real thing was ten million times better.

  The next Thursday night, I invite Dani to come to the firehouse for dinner. At around seven, I pull out my phone to let her know we’re back from our callout. It’s not the first time she’s been to see me at work, but after last weekend and not seeing her since then, I’m on edge.

  The exhausting effort it has taken to hide our relationship for the past five months has become stifling, a choking weight on my chest that makes it hard to breathe. I’ve never been one to lie about things; I’ve always had very open, honest relationships with the people who are important to me.

  Ex-girlfriends, friends, Zander, my mom . . . all of them, until recently that is.

  Too many people in my life know about the two of us, my feelings for her, and what we’ve been doing. I went to Mom’s for dinner on Sunday; Dani couldn’t come because of a family dinner of her own, since her mom was up.

  “You’re not doing anything to fix this problem and my son is not someone who sits back when there’s an issue. You’re a fixer, always have been,” Mom said. “You’ve always seen something broken and kept at it until it was working again. Why is this so different?”

  “Because fixing this could mean losing someone important to me.”

  “Would you let that happen?”

  “I wouldn’t have a choice. If it came down to losing Zander or losing Dani, I’d choose her every single time. If it came down to Zander giving Dani an ultimatum, I wouldn’t let her choose me.”

  Her eyes mist over and seeing it, I wrap my arms around her shoulders and pull her into my chest. “I hate this for you,” she says.

  “I love that you hate it, but I wouldn’t change a second with Dani for anything.”

  “You love her.”

  “I love her.”

  “Then fix it. Do whatever you need to make it work.”

  “It’s what I might have to do that I’m afraid of.”

  Thinking on it since then, and having been unable to broach the subject because of my shifts and her long hours, I now know something has to give. Dani is under my skin, and I never want to ever get her out, but the only smart way to move forward is without this choking cloud of deceit hovering over us.

  “Hot chick alert,” Scotty bellows from the gear room.

  “You sure she’s not just another one of your fire bunny boilers, Scotty?” Marco calls out to a round of chuckles from the squad.

  “I wish this one was. Damn, Coops, you sure she’s yours?” he says, and already moving. I speed up to save Dani from his atrocious flirting. I reach the front doorway just as Scotty opens his mouth.

  “Let me . . .” I say, sweeping the door open, shutting him down before he can start.

  “Hey, man. Quit cutting my lunch.”

  Dani’s eyes bug out before she erupts in a fit of giggles.

  “Hey yourself, man. There ain’t no lunch when you’re the one going hungry, and this girl is mine,” I say as I wrap my arm around her shoulders and pull her into me. She comes willingly but I don’t miss her looking around cautiously before she finally relaxes.

  Her tension amps up my frustration. I had hoped to move her past all of this crap when we had it out after Daniel’s dinner, but right now I don’t feel like any progress has been made at all.

  How is it possible for us to be together for five months, to tell each other ‘I love you,’ and still not be in a place where we can relax in public?

  Leading her toward the kitchen, I dip my head to her ear. “Relax, Little Grasshopper,” I whisper, and she sighs before sagging into my side.

  We walk into the room to see dinner being served up at the counter. Making our way there, I grab two plates and once full, lead her over to the table where Marco is already digging in.

  “Hey, Dani,” he says with a smile.

  “Hi.”

  “You decided to risk your health and sanity by eating with us?”

  She nods, smiling brightly as she takes the seat I pull out for her before settling in. “Zach promises he’ll wreak vengeance on anyone who poisons me, so I decided to take my chances.”

  “He’s good like that,” Marco muses, and I grin at him as I sit down next to her.

  “You’re also full of shit,” I reply.

  Dani’s eyes snap to mine and she glares at me, making my lips twitch. “No, he’s not. You’re always looking out for me.”

  “Always will do.”

  “I think I’m going to be sick,” Scotty interjects, dropping his plate onto the table opposite us. “Can you leave the gushy shit to the bedroom? And when you move on from that—just saying—remember to turn the camera on.”

  Marco shoots his elbow out and digs it into Scotty’s side. “Manners, dude. There’s a lady present.”

  Scotty grunts in pain and Dani snorts.

  Scotty returns his attention to Dani. “So, you told the big brother yet?”

  And just like that, kaboom! There goes the easy mood and relaxed Dani. Her back goes straight and her eyes go to her plate.

  Her instant shutdown serves to piss me off and—despite his heart being in the right place—earns Scotty a scowl from both Marco and myself.

  “I think it might be safer if you don’t talk, Scotty,” Marco mutters.

  Sensing the deteriorating mood, Dani reaches over the table and puts her hand on Scotty’s forearm. “It’s fine,” she says quietly, with a small squeeze of her fingers before pulling back. “We haven’t yet. Maybe one day.”

  I’ve lost my patience for one day. I’m being slowly but surely choked by the prospect of Zander finding out from anybody other than Dani and me, and I know for a fact that the situation will become so much worse if that happens.

  The only way to prevent that from happening is to front up, face the music, and hold on while Zander detonates—hopefully without collateral damage.

  After we’ve finished eating and Dani has said her goodbyes, I lace my fingers with hers and lead her out toward her car, turning her into me when we reach the sidewalk.

  “I want you to sleep at my place tonight.”

  Her head tilts to the side and she studies me. “I thought I was staying at mine tonight? Is everything okay?”

  It seems my impassive face isn’t hiding anything. “I just want to come home to you in the morning.”

  Her eyes soften as she tilts her head to the side enticingly. “Okay,” she replies, putting a hand on my chest and lifting up on her toes to give me a light kiss. My fingers grip her hips and hold her steady. “Text me when you get to my place. Just wanna know you got there safely,” I whisper against her lips.

  “You’re a good guy, Zach Cooper,” she says, falling back down to her feet.

  If I was a good guy, I wouldn’t be feeling like this.

  “See you in the morning.” I kiss her forehead and she shoots me a stunning smile before turning around and walking around the front of her car. She hops in and turns it on, pulling out and driving away, the lead weight in my gut multiplying as I watch her go.

  Just after seven on Friday morning, I drop my gym bag by the front door and make my way down the hall to my bedroom, stopping dead in the doorway at the beauty that is Dani asleep in my bed, mixed up in my rumpled sheets, her long legs uncovered, her flawless face at peace in sleep. My tongue wants to roll out of my mouth as if I’m a Looney Tunes cartoon character. It’s a sight I want to come home to and wake up to every day.

  Something that I could broach with her once we’ve gotten past the road block that is Zander not knowing about us.

  With so many people now knowing about us, the clock that was already ticking on our relationship has started to ring in my ears, becoming impossible to ignore. Because of that, I asked Dani to stay with the intention of telling her that I’m going to talk to Zander tonight.

  With this in mind, I slowly walk into the room and pull off my socks and shoes, tugging my sweats off with my CFD T-shirt following soon
after, sitting down on the bed beside her in only my black cotton boxers.

  Reaching out, I gently splay my fingers and run them from the top of her head through her long brown hair, the soft strands gliding against my skin. Fuck, she’s beautiful, absolutely stunning, and best of all, she doesn’t know it.

  My only hope is that she doesn’t freak out when we have our talk. I love her too fucking much to see her like that again. Our argument last week was hard enough; seeing her with tears in her eyes almost ripped me apart.

  Her hand lands on my bare leg, and I drop my eyes to meet hers. “Hi,” I say quietly.

  “Hi,” she rasps, her voice rough with sleep.

  Needing more, I drag my hand down her spine and over her lace-covered ass, then move it back up her side, rounding her hip and stopping when my hand cups one of her breasts. Her eyes drop to half-mast and just like that, my determination to talk to her starts to slip.

  Needing to keep my head clear and my focus on not-so-tempting things, I slowly draw my hand away. “Do you want a coffee?”

  “I want you naked in this bed.”

  She’s totally killing me right now. My temptress, my minx, my geeky, nerdy love.

  Then I say four words that are instant mood killers. “We need to talk.”

  She furrows her brow, confusion filling her features. Pulling herself up, she takes the sheet with her, hugging the sheet to her chest as she leans against my headboard. “Okay,” she says gently

  “We need to tell Zander,” I say it straight out.

  Her eyes grow wide and her breath catches. That wasn’t exactly what she was expecting to hear; her face growing pale says it all.

  “I can’t live like this, sweetheart.”

  “Zach, I—”

  I reach forward and encase her clenched fingers in mine. “We love each other. We know that this is going somewhere because we’re already here.” Her glassy eyes are nearly my undoing but for everyone’s sake, I know I have to do this.

  “I think I should go,” she says roughly, jerking her hands out of mine and clambering over the bed before standing up, not looking at me once.