Raina felt silly. Why would Nolan come running to their spot because she'd said she was there? How much easier would it be to pick up the phone?
But Turk still whined, eyes on the car ahead of them.
Raina wished she'd just continued on. She was so disappointed now...what was she thinking? Nolan would fall to pieces over the mention of their place, and drop everything to see her? She followed the car back to the park entrance.
They stopped at the sign to the entrance. Turk began barking and whining.
"I know you recognize the car," she said gently to the dog. "But it’s not the driver you want."
The Charger turned one way, she went the other. She needed home...the comfort and sanctuary of home. She sped up a little, anxious. Thanatos would be calling in a couple hours...she hoped he didn't have to spend more than a few hours with her. She sure needed him, and after his ordeal, he was going to need her as well.
She made dinner for herself, and then took it and her phone out on her deck. It was a cool evening. Her eyes skimmed the line of trees behind the house, and her heart fluttered. She thought of the days, maybe nights, Nolan watched from that wood. Had all of that been forgotten so easily? The need to watch and protect?
She drew in a breath. "No, it wouldn't have!" her voice was full of tears. Either, he was watching her closely, or he was having another do it. She thought of Thanatos and his watchful eye. Had he been in contact with Nolan all this time? Did he not tell her to spare her feelings?
"Frowning will give you wrinkles."
Raina glanced up from her dinner, and half smiled at Thanatos. She set her plate down, and went to him.
"I'm sorry about what I said."
He shook his head. "You were upset."
She looked into his eyes, and saw the cost this evening had been. "I thought you weren't coming over," she said softly, shyly.
"I needed to," he sighed . "The sex was great by the way," he said wearily.
"I didn't mean it," she whispered. "I really didn't"
He nodded. "I have to joke," he admitted...or I'll..." he shook his head.
Raina moved to hug him. He held his hands up to ward her off. He held up a fresh outfit. "After I shower and change?" His green eyes were a little pleading.
Raina nodded, sensing his discomfort...his pain. "Sure. Are you hungry?"
He shook his head. "Finish your dinner...I know where the bathroom is." He opened the sliding glass door, and peaked back at her. "Then we'll have a nice long talk about stalking," he whispered.
Raina's mouth dropped open.
"Yeah, Nolan called....pissed. I'm kinda pissed too. Off on your own Raina? Are you seriously that stupid?" he growled.
She folded her arms and frowned. "Go take your shower...I can still smell the she-devil on you!" she growled back. She hated being treated like a child.
Thanatos face fell. He grimaced, and gave her a curt nod, and slid the sliding door shut.
He was soon back, freshly showered. He tossed his other clothes over the railing. "I'll get them when I leave," he promised.
Raina got to her feet, and wrapped her arms around his neck. "I am sorry," she whispered. She felt his arms gentle around her, and he sighed.
"I'm not angry with you, beautiful," he whispered back. "I'm just weary."
Raina stepped back and squeezed his hands. "Did you want to talk about it?"
"With you? Hell no," he sighed.
Raina sat down, looking up at him bewildered.
He sat down too. "We are, however, going to talk about you going off and about by yourself!"
She sighed. "I...I just needed a reminder of good times." She shrugged, and stared up into the sky. "I couldn't help it."
His green eyes softened. "And you called him?"
"Left a message," she whispered. "He obviously got it, if you've heard where I was."
Thanatos grinned. "Hopping mad. He initially started into me, when I told him what I’d just been going through. I told him, I had told you to stay put! Then he told me how he'd gone just to check on you, and you spotted him...followed him."
"I actually decided it wasn't him," she said softly. "Until now.” She smiled triumphantly.
Thanatos shook his head in amusement.
"Where has he been? AND why did you not tell me you've been in contact with him?"
His eyes widened. "Who told you?"
She shrugged. "It just came to me. I knew he wouldn't leave me unprotected. You were the natural candidate."
He sighed. "He was with Jonathan for a week or so. He's trying the out of sight out of mind scenario."
"It’s not working," she growled.
"No kidding," Thanatos laughed.
She leaned back in her chair. "Is he in contact with...her?"
Thanatos grimaced. "A bit...trying to keep the peace."
"She knows we are apart?"
He nodded, "But she knows better than to think he will stay away from you. He's crazy over you, Raina...bat crap crazy."
She rolled her eyes. "He has a way of showing it."
He tugged on a strand of her hair. "He's doing what he thinks is best for you."
She shivered, partly from the air, partly because of the thought of life without Nolan.
Thanatos cleared his throat. "Anyway, let’s talk about something else."
She willed away her tears and nodded.
"I'm taking you to my friends place next week. He has and old beautiful house. You'll like it."
She shrugged. "Sure, I'm into meeting new people," she laughed. "If you'd asked me months ago I'd of had a full blown panic attack!"
He grinned. "Yeah...like I said, I like the new Raina. The old one was a scardy cat."
She laughed. "Well, I like the new Thanatos Clay…makes a great friend."
"I like him too," he agreed, giving her a friendly wink. "Except when he has to be old Thanatos."
She knew he meant tonight’s ordeal. "I wish I could save you from it," she murmured.
"It’s the price I pay for my immortality," he sighed.
"I'd rather just live a short happy life," she whispered. "I never quite got what Nolan meant, until I started looking at both of your lives closely."
He nodded. "But there’s the good too."
She closed her eyes. She wasn't so sure at the moment. "Still not as good as having Nolan."
He groaned. "Raina, you are going to drive me nuts with this."
"Until I have a clear answer I will never give up hope."
He sighed. "You should still prepare yourself for the worst."
She gave him a look. "Do you know something you don't want to tell me?"
He shook his head. "Why do you ask?"
"It sounds like...a warning." She turned to him. "Prepare for the worst. Who says that?"
He drew in a breath. "I'm a pessimist, you know that."
She lifted her brow.
"I just don't want you hurting if Nolan decides something that is not...being with you."
She bit her lip. "But he loves me."
"He loves you," Thanatos said without hesitation. "But, Raina, it’s been weeks. No contact with you. What do you think he's thinking?"
She shrugged. "I don't know what to think," she whispered. "Do you know how much it hurts entertaining the thought that he might...not want me anymore?"
He ducked his head. "Raina, he'll never come to a point, where he will not want you."
She blinked back tears.
"Don't cry."
She shook her head. "I'm not," she sobbed, wiping tears.
"Raina," he sighed, hugging her. "I'm sorry...I am. He's a fool...a damn fool. And all damn heart. I can only see him choosing what is right for you."
Raina burst into tears. "That’s what I'm afraid of." She felt all sorts of foolish, but she'd been unable to hold it back. She buried her face against him. “I need sleep,” she whispered.
Thanatos nodded. “Rest then,” he agreed.
“I will see you tomor
row?”
He drew in a breath. “Yes…remember, we’re going to my friend’s house.”
She sighed. “Really?”
“Trust me beautiful.”
“I do,” she growled. “Crazy mortal that I am.”
Chapter 20 The Contract
"Where are we?" Raina asked looking out the rain smudged window of Thanatos pick up. She regarded the white house before her. It was massive...white pillars graced the front, a long stone stairway lead to the red double doors. A flower pot sat on each stair, lining both sides.
"We have a meeting," Thanatos whispered softly.
"Meeting?" Raina turned her gaze back to him.
"You promised you'd trust me." His green eyes gentled on her.
"I do," she whispered. "Why won't you tell me where we are?"
He lifted a hand to her cheek. "You'll know soon enough. Just...trust me...this is a necessary meeting."
"Why are you so nervous then?"
He grinned. "Am I?"
Raina took his hand from her cheek. "You're as nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs." She squeezed his fingers.
He smirked, and opened his door. "Come on."
She let him help her from the truck. "Thanatos, you're scaring me. Whose place is this?"
He took her hand, leading her up the stairs, quickly, the rain still fell, though, not the down pour it was earlier. "A friends," he said softly. He didn't knock on the door, just entered.
She frowned at this.
"Come in, Raina," he chuckled.
She followed him in, and drew in a startled breath at the vastness of the foyer. She stared up at the beautiful chandelier hanging from stories above. A wrap around stair case bordered each side. There were reds and blacks and gold in the carpets, the walls, the paintings. It was beautiful! She glanced over at Thanatos, who was watching her reaction.
"What?" she blushed. She knew she was gawking.
"You like?"
She smiled. "Very much!"
His greens lit, but with a sadness.
She shook her head at him in confusion, and a bit of apprehension.
"The study is this way," he motioned with his head.
They walked through the living room. It contained much of the same colors of the foyer. The couches were a rich red, the carpet black...dark cherry end tables, and against the wall, a fireplace....the brick so intricate, the mantel enormous. It had pictures upon it in dark frames. Before she could focus on the pictures, Thanatos tugged her hand.
He was being bossy! She gave him a frown.
"This way," he murmured.
They entered a doorway into the study.
Raina worried her lip, giving him an anxious smile. "You act as though this is your place," she accused.
"It's not."
She tilted her head.
"Sit," he coaxed.
She sank down into a rich leather chair. He sat in one right beside her.
Her eyes roamed the big office. The seating was leather...the desk a cherry wood. The plush carpet was a forest green, as were the walls. The pictures on the walls were curious...out of focus, but beautiful. All of them were in black and white with purple shading. She made out a pair of hands in one, a smile, even the curve of a jaw...all strangely familiar, but so abstract...out of focus, but in and artistic way.
"Is your friend a photographer? These are not professional...but someone with a good eye..."
"No...he has dabbled in it, but not professionally."
"They are beautiful."
"Very." He grinned.
She continued her perusal of the art along the third wall. “May I take a closer look?"
Thanatos rolled his eyes. "If you must. See something you like?"
Raina frowned at him. "It’s like I've seen them before," she admitted. "I just want a closer look." She got up and moved toward the last photo. "Something strange...I...I feel like I should know where....." She tilted her head, taking it in, and then gasped, as her own eyes meet her in the photo. "Thanatos, these are of me!"
"You made a good subject."
Raina spun around at the familiar rich, warm voice. She stood in shock, just taking him in…the dark hair, the silvers, his stature. He was a sight for sore eyes! She felt dumbstruck.
"The camera likes you." He frowned at her response, or rather...lack thereof.
Her lip trembled, her whole body, if she was being honest. "Nolan?"
His gorgeous frowny face appeared.
She burst into tears, feeling all kinds of foolish, all kinds of relief. "I thought you...I thought I'd never..." She gulped in a sob, and then ran at him, throwing herself into his arms. She felt at home, as the strong arms surrounded her. They were solid, but the hold was not one of passion. She could feel it in the restraint that he used.
She didn't care, she clung to him, kissed his face, ran her fingers through the hair she loved. "Are you okay!"
"I'm fine," he spoke without emotion.
She buried her face against his chest. Just the nearness of him was healing the wound his disappearance had caused. Yet, he hadn't explained himself. He wasn't responding to her touch. That was not like him.
She looked up into his impassive gaze. Her hands reached up to his face, touching him, loving him, taking in every feature. Tears still ran down her face. "Where have you been?" Her voice was small, weak.
"Sorting things out," he growled.
Raina felt a cold chill run through her. She let her fingers slip from his face. She stepped back, and he let his arms fall.
"Please sit," he said calmly.
Raina swallowed, and backed up sitting back down in the chair next to Thanatos. She gave the devil a questioning look, and his green eyes held sorrow for an instant, then he attempted a smile.
"Just waiting on a few others and we will start," Nolan’s calm voice spoke. He walked around to the chair behind the large desk, and sat down. He folded his hands in front of him, and studied them. He wouldn't grace her with a glance.
"I...I am very confused," Raina whispered. "I don't see you for weeks...and you..." she drew in a breath. "Nolan...what’s going on? Is this? This is your home?" She was trying to move past the shock.
"It is," he sighed.
She bit down hard on her lip. What was wrong with him? Why was he being so cool? Why was he not responding to her presence like she was to his? Where was her Nolan? Where was the man she had nearly made love to weeks ago? The man who said he loved her........wanted her for always? Her heart was tearing in two at this moment, and she could say nothing...her voice was failing her. Her thoughts were failing her.
Thanatos reached over and took her hand. "Raina," his voice gentled. "Just hear him out, beautiful."
She blinked at him, shaking herself from her dumb state. "Why can't you just tell me what’s going on?"
"He will...in a bit." He lifted a hand and brushed her tears with his fingers.
"Touching her is not necessary," Nolan said in a low voice.
"It's quite necessary, friend. Do you not see what this is doing to her?"
No, he couldn't see, if he wouldn't look at her.
"I think I want to go home," she whispered.
Thanatos cupped her face, and forced her to look in his eyes. "Raina, you have to let this happen. For the both of us...you have to let this happen."
"What happen?" her question was barely over a whisper. "What is happening?"
"Trust me."
"I said I did," she argued. "I'm here, I'm confused, and I'd much rather go home."
"And hide?" Thanatos shook his head. "That’s the old Raina."
She sighed and closed her eyes. "Fine, I'll stay," she breathed. Her blue eyes opened to him, looking peeved. "Thanks for the guilt trip friend."
Thanatos chuckled. "Good girl." He leaned in and kissed her forehead.
Raina jerked, as Thanatos was ripped from her. He was in Nolan’s clutches and up against a wall before she could blink.
"To
uch her again and I will..."
"You will what?" Thanatos challenged. "Run away again? I cannot protect what I cannot touch. You are giving her up Nolan...wasn't that the plan? So it’s not your say anymore who touches her!" The green eyes blazed with fury.
Nolan growled, pressing into him harder.
Thanatos frowned deeper. "It’s a knee jerk reaction...I know, but you have to get over it. I am not going to hurt her. My intentions toward Raina are pure...you must know that."
Nolan’s jaw clenched. "I know," he growled.
"It would be best if you let me go then," Thanatos growled back.
Nolan released him, and straightened his suit jacket.
She didn't know what to say to him. To a man she had never had issue speaking her mind to...trusting. She watched as he turned, not even looking at her, and sitting back down. He gave no attention to the one he'd just defended. Not that Thanatos would harm her, but he'd touched her. She knew how much Nolan hated that...so that hadn't changed.
"You are giving me up?" Her voice was hollow. "What does that mean, Nolan?"
He shook his head. "The others will be arriving soon."
"What if I don't want to stick around for the others?" she asked defiantly.
"You will stay," he said flatly.
"I have a say in that."
"You have no say," he growled. "You will sit there, and you will listen, and you will do what will keep you safe...keep you alive."
Raina frowned. "And who is going to hurt me? Thanatos? You? No, I don't think so." She stood up to leave.
His tall frame shot to full height. "Sit the hell back down," he snarled.
Raina didn't sit; she was knocked back in her chair just by the authority and anger in his voice. She had never heard such a harsh tone come from him. Maybe close to such a tone was the morning in the hotel room...when he had lost control with her; almost lost control. The forced words when he had last seen her...fighting against his desire. Both times his control had been tested. Was all this authority just an act? Was he feeling out of control in truth?
Her voice trembled, "Nolan, this isn't you."
The Awakening (Wake Up #1) Page 39
