Bitch Heiress X Samurai Butler

by KuroKoneko Kamen

  “Hn.” Ranmaru gave them a cool nod in

  acknowledgement of their presence.

  “Would you like to have some tea?” “Would you like some of my bento? I made it myself Ranmaru- kun! ” “Can I sit next to you Ranmaru?” “Hey, no way, I’m going to sit next to Ranmaru! Move aside!”

  Katsumi noticed that one of the prettiest girls in the school had taken a seat on Ranmaru’s right and that he seemed to be completely unfazed by this. If she remembered correctly the girl was an aspiring model named...Orihime. She had long, wavy, strawberry blonde hair that reached the floor and large, goldencolored eyes, but there was always this dark calculating expression on her face. Even so, she was extremely popular with all the boys in the Academy.

  “Hn.” Ranmaru slightly shook his head in a negative response to all of their offers.

  The girls eventually began to get bored with Ranmaru’s lack of response to their attempts at flirting with him and their conversation unsurprisingly turned to Kusanagi-“Eeee, did you see how The Bitch was acting today?”

  “Yea, I saw.” “She thinks she’s too good for all of us - that’s it. She acts like she’s some sort of queen.”

  “She just thinks she’s better than us because she never took HANABI. And I hear she took out the Kuroneko Clan too...and even destroyed the greenhouse where HANABI was being grown. She just didn’t like seeing us happy you know. She just had to go and get herself involved in something that didn’t concern her again.” Orihime put in her two cents.

  “I’m grateful.” Ranmaru spoke up suddenly.

  100

  All the girls turned to the stoic Ranmaru in shock that he had just spoken - actually participated in one of their conversations!

  One girl ventured to ask, licking her lips in anticipation at getting to hear Ranmaru’s voice once more, “What do you mean, Ranmaru?”

  Ranmaru fixed his harsh golden stare on the girl, who nearly swooned, “HANABI was discovered to be poisonous. If it wasn’t for Kusanagi we’d all be dead.”

  The girl blinked back at Ranmaru in shock, “Poisonous?

  How would Kusanagi have known that anyways?” Ranmaru admitted to himself that he too really wanted to know this as well. The girl continued. “Are you trying to say that Kusanagi tried to save all of us? Because if you are I don’t believe it, not even for a second! You must be trying to side with her or something. You both are friends right?”

  “No.” Ranmaru calmly took a sip of his ramen soup before continuing. “Don’t be stupid. Why would Kusanagi bother to save all of you? With the way you all treat her...that would be illogical. Kusanagi was trying to save her friend Katsumi.”

  Katsumi blinked in surprise at Ranmaru’s declaration but immediately agreed, “I knew Kusanagi considered us best friends! She’s just the greatest! Kusanagi saved me, like totally!”

  Everyone blinked at Katsumi in shock.

  “Kind of think of it, I was feeling rather sick ever since I started doing HANABI. I thought I had a normal cold or something but to think - I could have died if it hadn’t been for Kusanagi realizing what was really wrong…”

  Everyone continued to blink in shock until-“Yea, it’s true. I was also feeling rather sick. I also thought it was just a cold though.” Another student suddenly declared.

  “Me too.” “Yea me too!” “I thought I had a cold too.”

  “There was no fever so I just assumed it wasn’t anything serious...”

  Everyone looked at each other in shock at the startling revelation that Kusanagi had indeed saved all their lives –

  whether they liked it or not.

  “But this doesn’t really change anything. Even if she Bitch 101

  Heiress X Samurai Butler

  saved all our lives she’s still The Bitch.” Orihime declared, with a careless flip of her long hair.

  Ranmaru nodded. “You’re right, it doesn’t. But I think it’s safe to say that at least this time you were wrong about her. And if that’s true what about all those other times you placed the blame on Kusanagi? What if those other times she was just trying to help someone out too? But her actions were misunderstood. Kusanagi may be a bitch but I don’t think she’s as much of a bitch as all of you want to make her out to be. There’s a lot more to Kusanagi than meets the eye, I think. But that’s just what I think.” Ranmaru shrugged, a dull look on his face. Orihime was looking at Ranmaru as if he’d just grown a second head, “But if that’s true why doesn’t she defend herself?”

  She demanded.

  “Maybe she doesn’t want to or just doesn’t care - to some people praise is bothersome and stifling. Maybe she thinks it’s easier this way. Maybe she pushes you all away on purpose because in reality...she really likes you.” Ranmaru declared thoughtfully.

  Everyone was staring openly in shock at Ranmaru now not only for his words but also for the fact that these were the most words they had EVER heard him say before - ever!

  Orihime began to laugh, “That’s the craziest thing I’ve ever heard!”

  Ranmaru finished his soup and stood up, having said what he had wanted to say, his expression passive. “Just food for thought.” He finished with a half-smirk that sent girls swooning. That should even the odds out a bit. Ranmaru 1 Class 1. Ranmaru nodded to himself.

  Ranmaru calmly walked out of the cafeteria and down the hallway with his hands behind his head and a pleased expression on his face, though to anyone else he would have still appeared emotionless and even bored. He sensed that Katsumi was following him and turned around to face her. He caught her beaming at him, blue eyes sparkling, and an odd expectant look on her face.

  102

  Ranmaru raised an eyebrow at her as if to say ‘What?’ He had been worn out with all that talking and now was regressing back to body language.

  “That was amazing!” Katsumi began to gush. “That was like so totally awesome Ranmaru! Now everyone will stop hating Kusanagi! It was so…smart!” For a cat yokai Katsumi sure acted like one of those little toy dogs sometimes, Ranmaru thought, as he pictured Katsumi with her tail wagging happily behind her. Ranmaru merely nodded and continued to walk, he needed to find Kusanagi. “It won’t be that simple. Hate is a powerful force to be reckoned with. It’s like a stubborn weed that’s taken root, if you don’t get the roots it will merely continue to grow back. The roots are still there, but perhaps with time...We shall see.”

  “Hmm~ you like Kusanagi- chan don’t you?” Katsumi was eyeing Ranmaru curiously.

  Ranmaru turned to give her a wide-eyed stare, which Katsumi translated as ‘Say what?’

  “Aha! There’s no use trying to deny it. But don’t worry I’ll keep it a secret from Kusanagi if you want me too! That is until you decide to confess your feelings to her. Ooo~ that is like going to be sooo romantic. Oh! When you confess to Kusanagi can I like be there? It’s totally something I like wouldn’t want to miss for anything in the world!”

  Ranmaru sighed heavily and continued to walk forward,

  “I’m her Samurai Butler - nothing more.”

  Katsumi just smiled to herself, “Mmhmm, sure, so then why are you running off to comfort her, old man.” Katsumi teased.

  Ranmaru blinked - is that what he was about to do? It seemed a bit...out of character, at least to him. Then again - he just knew he had to see Kusanagi and somehow cheer her up and make her smile. He couldn’t bear to see her cry. A smile suited her far better than a frown or tears...

  Ranmaru did not respond but continued to walk forward.

  “Well, at least Kusanagi is not alone anymore, whether she likes it or not - she has us now, right Ranmaru- senpai?”

  Katsumi skipped after him.

  “Hn.”

  Bitch 103

  Heiress X Samurai Butler

  “Oh look there she is! Oh Kusanagi!” Katsumi skipped forward only to trip-Knock right into Ranmaru-And send him stumbling forward and onto Kusanagi so that they were both knocked into the ground, with Ranmaru on top of Kusanagi th
is time. Kusanagi turned red before she exploded-“You...PERVERT! Get off of me Ranmaru! Katsumi you are so dead!” Kusanagi punched Ranmaru off of her and began to chase Katsumi.

  “Eeee~ I’m sorry!” Katsumi ran, tears in her brilliant blue eyes. “Please don’t kill me! I’m too young and beautiful to die!

  Ranmaru! Help! She’s being scary! ”

  Ranmaru picked himself up off the ground, now sporting a black eye - well, at least Kusanagi was smiling now albeit in a slightly deranged and creepy manner. Heh. Beggars can’t be choosers.

  But this was definitely better than the alternative Ranmaru decided as a slight smile tugged at the corner of his lips. That was happening a lot more recently. Maybe being Kusanagi’s Samurai Butler wouldn’t be so bad after all…

  Kusanagi turned towards Ranmaru next, “And where do you think you’re going? I’m so going to get you for that one Ranmaru! I’ll have to make you pay the price for getting to fall on me not once but twice today!” Her emerald green eyes were sparkling but not from unshed tears but from passionate anger. Who’s been counting? Smirk. Come and get me, Master. I deserve to be punished. I think I could get used to this…

  104

  CHAPTER 4

  A robot can have a heart

  Kusanagi and Ranmaru had decided to walk to school that day since it was such a lovely day out, and Kusanagi had insisted on it, nay ordered the poor Ranmaru that they were officially walking to school. All the other students were also arriving at about the same time. Katsumi caught sight of the two and ran towards them waving one of her arms enthusiastically at them, her breasts bouncing up and down like a bad scene from Bay Watch. What? Ranmaru liked watching American television shows when Kusanagi wasn’t paying attention to him.

  “Oi Minna! Hey guys! Ohayo! Good morning!”

  All the male students were following Katsumi with their heart-shaped eyes. Ranmaru noticed a few of the boys were drooling openly and some of the yokai males were actually howling. Ranmaru shook his head at them. Silly hormonal teenagers. He returned his attention back to Katsumi and caught sight of her shoes. He raised a single eyebrow at them since they were a pair of four-inch heels. How did girls expect to be able to walk in- SPLAT

  Ranmaru had mind-spoken too soon as Katsumi tripped and fell flat on her face. Ow. Ranmaru was having sympathy pains here.

  Kusanagi walked by her and simply ignored the cat girl’s fallen form. “Come along, Ranmaru. We’ll be late for class.”

  Ranmaru bowed, “Hai Oujo-sama. ” He calmly walked Bitch 105

  Heiress X Samurai Butler

  after her.

  Teary-eyed Katsumi watched them leave her behind,

  “Guys...little help here?”

  Ranmaru suddenly sensed something amiss and turned to see a chubby 12-year-old boy in an Academy uniform, but right next to him was a sight that made Ranmaru’s eyes widen slightly. Was he really seeing what he thought he was seeing? Yes, next to the boy was a giant robot. The robot was at least ten feet tall and Ranmaru thought the overall design of the robot was reminiscent to a Gundam.

  (Note: A Gundam is a giant robot or ‘mecha’ one is able to be pilot from the inside and that can be used in combat. Gundams originate from manga and anime fiction stories.) Although it had a few interesting extra touches - a horned samurai helmet, an extremely large katana was strapped to its back, and then over its chest armor the robot was wearing a butler’s vest along with a red butler’s necktie. A rather eccentric touch to the robot was a monocle that was worn over the robot’s left eye. Ranmaru quirked his head at the robot or... Samurai Butler?

  Ranmaru’s attention immediately went back to the young boy accompanying this machine of mass destruction and saw that the boy himself was rather harmless looking. Slightly on the chubby side he also had the habit of wearing a monocle over his left eye as well. The boy was wearing a slightly snooty expression on his face as he entered the school grounds. Though none of the students appeared to be paying the eccentric boy or his giant robot any mind, which made Ranmaru think this must have been a perfectly normal occurrence.

  Ranmaru, however, found himself on guard almost immediately feeling that the boy and his robot were immensely suspicious characters and potentially dangerous and/or threats to Kusanagi. Is he an assassin after my Lady Kusanagi? Ranmaru’s golden eyes narrowed at the robotic samurai and he unsheathed his sword Kuroki Ryu and pointed it towards the robot. All

  106

  Bitch 107

  Heiress X Samurai Butler

  threats must be eliminated. He then began to ‘power up’

  summoning his power so that a fiery aura was forming around him and his sword. He got into a fighting stance, prepared to attack-When- BONK

  Kusanagi hit him hard over the head with her wooden sword. “Baka! Just what do you think you’re doing?”

  Ranmaru appeared chagrined and nodded in the direction of the Samurai Butler robot.

  Kusanagi followed his nod and recognition lit her eyes,

  “Oh, that’s just Shinichi. He’s a boy genius who’s in my grade - he’s still only 12-years-old. He’s a total spoiled rich kid and builds robots in his spare time as a hobby. And that’s his robot Samurai Butler, Remington.”

  Ranmaru blinked. “Robot Samurai Butler? Remington? ”

  Ranmaru raised an eyebrow at the name.

  “Remington is a popular butler name, didn’t you know?”

  Katsumi informed him.

  “And before you ask me if that’s allowed,” Kusanagi continued. “This school has a lot of spoiled, err, rich kids going here. So, it’s only natural that the students’ bodyguards, or Samurai Butlers are permitted to attend to their Masters while at school.”

  Ranmaru’s eye twitched. He had been permitted to attend to his Mistress at school all along...? But then why hadn’t Lady Kusanagi said anything? Instead he had made a fool out of himself dressing up like a ninja and stalking her in the shadows. And even now he had been reduced to dressing up like a high school student. He looked over at Kusanagi, who had a devious glint in her eye and smirk on her face that seemed to say

  ‘Gotcha’. And Ranmaru realized right then and there that she knew – she had known all along and had chosen not to tell him on purpose!

  108

  Kusanagi continued to smirk to herself and turned on her heel to continue her way to school.

  Why that crafty little…!

  What had she been trying to do? Make his life a living hell? Oh, yea, right. He forgot about that. She actually was. Ranmaru sighed. He decided that this was incredibly good news for him as he carelessly began to strip off the school uniform he had been wearing while still in the center of the school courtyard, and began changing back into the official Kimamura butler uniform, which consisted of an elegant, black swallow-tailed coat, white button-down shirt, black vest, red string neck tie, black pants, and shiny black leather shoes. Kusanagi turned around to see what was keeping Ranmaru for so long, and blushed when she caught a glimpse of him in his boxers that for some odd reason were covered in yellow duckies! Kusanagi had the sneaking suspicion that her maid Roze had something to do with that. Roze!! She shook her head and then immediately began to spaz out by executing a flying sidekick towards Ranmaru, who had just finished changing and had been calmly buttoning up his shirt. “Ranmaru no baka!

  Hentai! Pervert!” Kusanagi declared as her kick sent Ranmaru flying across the schoolyard.

  Girl really didn’t know her own strength.

  Or wait, perhaps she did.

  Kusanagi dusted her hands off as she continued her way to school with a ‘hmph!’ leaving a smoking pile of Ranmaru on the ground.

  Katsumi went over to poke him with her index finger to make sure Ranmaru was alright, “Ranmaru... Oi...you alive?”

  That day, by the time the entire female student body had found out the news that the mysterious transfer student, Ranmaru, was in fact Kusanagi’s very own Samurai Butler the girls had become distraught and were unruly for
the rest of the day. Although, this did explain Ranmaru’s habit of carrying around a katana with him at all times.

  ***

  A smile tugged at Kusanagi’s lips as she noticed that all the girls were wearing black today, and crying pitifully as if they were in mourning or something. Ah, so they’re upset that Bitch 109

  Heiress X Samurai Butler

  Ranmaru is my Samurai Bulter. Hehe. He’s finally coming in handy for something. Their sadness was quite amusing really. And this brightened Kusanagi’s mood considerably and so she was in a very good mood by the time she had art class. Kusanagi was a surreal artist...or at least this is what she liked to consider herself since she painted in the abstract. Kusanagi put on a pair of headphones and blasted up her j-rock music that she was currently listening to from her iPod. She especially enjoyed the j-rock artist Gackt and was listening to a song entitled Redemption. She began to fling paint onto the canvas before her in a slightly angry or was it a passionate manner, while thinking that some silver paint would contrast nicely against her black background, and so began splattering silver paint onto the giant canvas before her next. The spoiled rich kid, Shinichi also happened to be in Kusanagi’s art class. Kusanagi looked over at the boy as he was working on building some Gundam robot models and was meticulously painting them by hand. Kusanagi felt her lip twitch in amusement as she caught sight of what he was wearing. He had paired his Academy uniform along with a top hat and had a silver-topped cane that was resting against the table he was working on. There was also that monocle sitting on his nose. What was up with that anyways?

  Did he really think he looked older and more sophisticated with it on? Heh. Naw, it must have been some kind of cosplay.

  (Note: Cosplay is a Japanese pop culture, phenomena where fans of anime (Japanese animation) and manga (Japanese comics) dress up as characters from their favorite stories and role play.)