Bitch Heiress X Samurai Butler

by KuroKoneko Kamen

  “Yo.”

  Shinichi was startled and turned to face Kusanagi. His surprised look immediately turned into a glare as he wiped the tears from his eyes with the back of his hand in a stubborn manner. “What the hell do you want?”

  Kusanagi smirked. “Catch.”

  Kusanagi tossed something at Shinichi who caught it. Shinichi opened his hand to see that it was Remington’s A.I. microchip. His eyes widened, surprised to see that it was apparently intact. “Remington’s chip...but how?”

  “I asked Ranmaru to fetch it for me. He’s such a good boy, err, butler. Remington is still alive you know, he’s still in there.”

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  Tears streamed down Shinichi’s face, “It’s not the same...I won’t ever get to hear him speak again.”

  “Why did you want the money Shinichi?” Kusanagi prodded.

  Shinichi’s eyes widened and he hung his head, “To repair my robots...but I also wanted to help Remington. He wanted to become a real Samurai Butler. Hey, Kusanagi where do you buy a soul?”

  Kusanagi blinked, “A soul? You wanted to buy Remington a soul?” A thoughtful look crossed Kusanagi’s face before she smiled. “But...he already had a soul, Shinichi.”

  “What?” Shinichi sniffed.

  “Don’t you remember what I said back in art class?

  You’re an artist, and Remington was your work of art. You put your heart and soul into making Remington didn’t you? And so you gave him not only a part of your own soul but made him a real soul as well. Remington was programmed to kill wasn’t he?

  But then why did he choose to protect us instead? The soul you wanted to buy for him...he had it all along...dummy.”

  Shinichi continued to wipe at his tears that for some reason just wouldn’t stop falling. “God, that is so cheesy...where did you come up with that load of crap?” Shinichi laughed brokenly.

  “I know and I hate cheesy.” Kusanagi flipped her hair.

  “But I think it’s also a pretty lousy ending to say you’ve learned something valuable and that Remington will always be alive in your memories or heart or some bullshit like that. No, I’m a practical person myself. And if my money has a way of bringing someone back to life then - I don’t need it.” Kusanagi tossed a suitcase at Shinichi.

  Shinichi blinked. “What’s in here?”

  “Open it, dummy.” Kusanagi smirked.

  Shinichi did and found that it was filled with money. A LOT of money. “Kusanagi...”

  Kusanagi turned to go. “Make sure to make Remington 2.0 to be a kick ass robotic Samurai Butler okay? Just don’t forget to take out the last kill order neh? Oh and if I ever need your help I’m expecting to get it. You owe me one kiddo. You can just think of yourself as being unofficially employed by the Bitch 139

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  Kimamura family now, meaning since you work for me, you have to do whatever I say.”

  Shinichi’s mouth just gaped open, was that blackmail?

  “Kusanagi...you bitch.” He joked, while wiping a tear from his eye and smiling lopsidedly at her.

  “Damn straight.” Kusanagi winked.

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  CHAPTER 5

  The sky looks more beautiful from

  underwater

  People suck.

  This the main thought in Kusanagi’s mind as she rode through the extensive forest grounds on the Kimamura Estate. But animals, Kusanagi patted the side of her unicorn Sora’s neck affectionately, were wonderful.

  Sora was a beautiful and elegant creature, and one of Kusanagi’s favorites from her menagerie. Sora had a silky, skyblue colored coat, a long, flowing, white mane and tail, and had deep, sapphire-colored blue eyes that held both clarity and intelligence in their depths. But the most striking feature Sora possessed was the single, spiraled golden horn that emerged from out of his forehead.

  Humans can be mean to you for ‘no good reason’ but animals always show their Master unconditional love. Especially dogs, beat a dog and he’ll still wag his tail and smile at his Master and still possess unwavering loyalty. Kusanagi mused to herself thoughtfully. An animal’s innate nature is not to be cruel but loving. But humans...hold a darkness in their hearts that is just waiting to be unleashed. Humans...can be so cruel. Animals...are always kind. At least…to me. This was why Kusanagi was ambivalent to people, and why she loved animals.

  Also, Kusanagi found that people easily fell for masks but animals were truly remarkable creatures, their instincts were incredible, and they possessed the ability to see the truth – that

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  was why Kusanagi was so good with animals. Even if she would act like a bitch around them, the animals knew better - they could see right through her mask and knew that deep down Kusanagi was a strong but kind lady.

  She loved her animals and they loved her back. She had collected quite the impressive menagerie of creatures over the years too using her family fortune to buy and import rare, endangered, magical or spiritual creatures from around the world. Some of the animals had been purchased at illegal auctions since they were yokai. Others Kusanagi had

  ‘ saved’.

  They were creatures that were misunderstood. Creatures that would have been exploited for their abilities. Creatures that had been in danger, but Kusanagi had used her fortune and connections to help save these poor animals. Although it wasn’t always easy, but during those

  ‘difficult’ times Kusanagi had merely been forced to use a bit of her ‘female persuasion’. (Meaning she ended up having to kick someone’s ass. Cough.)

  Thinking of animals...Kusanagi thought back to how her new Samurai Butler had a yokai animal form too. That of an elegant, majestic nine-tailed fox that was big enough to ride. That had surprised Kusanagi even though she had been aware of it. She had been dying to touch those fluffy ears of his...pet his soft, shinny, coppery colored fur...stroke his long magnificent tails...Sigh. He truly was a beautiful creature. How she longed to touch him...

  Touch him! Kusanagi began to spaz out in her mind. Did I just think that? Oh my god, what the hell is wrong with me! It’s not like I’m attracted to that...stoic loser anyways right? No way!

  He totally pisses me off with that blank, emotionless expression of his. That perfect poker face. Argh! I never know what the hell he’s thinking. It drives me crazy! Ranmaru... Unbidden an image of Ranmaru in nothing but a white bathrobe (from art class) popped into her mind.

  “AHHHH!” Kusanagi gripped the sides of her head, letting go of her reins, “Get out of my head! My eyes! My virgin eyes have been corrupted by that-that pervert! Argh! I’ll make Bitch 143

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  him pay for that - Ranmaru no Baka! ” Kusanagi continued to be distracted by her inner thoughts as she was spazzing out and nearly fell off of Sora in the process.

  Sora slowed down automatically used to his Mistress’

  antics and felt a trickle of sweat form on his brow. His Mistress was really weird...

  ***

  “ACHOO!” Ranmaru sneezed, and wiped at his nose with his index finger. Was he perhaps coming down with something?

  Naw. But he hoped not, since the life as a butler for the Kimamura Estate was a busy one indeed. Just a normal day in the life of a Kimamura Butler, was filled with endless things to do... Ranmaru started out his day with simple chores such as mowing the lawn, raking up leaves, cleaning and dusting the various rooms in the mansion, making breakfast for his Mistress, but the most unusual of all his tasks was to take care of the creatures in Kusanagi’s menagerie.

  Kusanagi’s menagerie was an impressive domed building made of steel and glass. It resembled a greenhouse to some degree and had been designed to be able to support a kind of

  ‘natural habitat’ inside with plants, fruit trees, and a lake that was swarming with fish. It was a self-contained little world that if Kusanagi chose to keep her animals restricted to just the menagerie
they would have been able to continue living there indefinitely.

  But Kusanagi was kind to her animals and allowed them to roam the vast Kimamura estate for exercise whenever she felt like it. However, when Kusanagi was at school she liked to ‘lock up’ her creatures inside of the menagerie so that they would be protected. When Kusanagi had told Ranmaru about how she wanted her animals to be protected, he found that she wasn’t kidding. The menagerie while under ‘lock down mode’ became a veritable fortress. Alarms, motion sensors, and a state of the art lazer defense system were all activated and not only that – bars would come down covering all of the windows and doors. Were Kusanagi’s overly extreme precautions brought on 144

  by his Mistress’ paranoia? Ranmaru mused. But Ranmaru didn’t think so since several of Kusanagi’s animals were...unique to say the least. And that was putting it lightly. Some of Kusanagi’s animals...shouldn’t even exist. They were that rare and valuable. For example there was the one creature that lived inside of the giant lake that existed inside of Kusanagi’s menagerie, and that Ranmaru had to feed bucketfuls of fish every morning. That creature, Ranmaru was positive, had to be the Lock Ness Monster.

  Then there was Sora, the Mistress’ unicorn that she had taken for her daily ride that morning.

  Ranmaru had to wonder how much Sora had cost Kusanagi. Or the Lock Ness Monster for that matter. The yokai python had scales that shimmered liked diamonds; scratch that, that were diamonds. The yokai ostrich occasionally laid solid gold eggs. Sora’s horn also appeared to be solid gold. Maybe his Mistress just liked shiny things?

  Ranmaru shook his head bemused. But there were other unusual creatures as well such as a polar bear with a golden fleece, a white winged horse, a griffin, and a yokai dog. Ranmaru understood how valuable these animals must be and so understood the safety precautions Kusanagi took in order to protect her animals.

  At first Kusanagi’s animals had been very difficult, and had tried to kill or eat him several times - but each time they had tried to attack Ranmaru had simply evaded their attacks with ease and had dealt no counterattack of his own. Over time the animals came to grudgingly respect and even fear him since he was obviously extremely powerful and yet had never used his power against them. And then one day he decided to show the animal’s his true form: that of the nine-tailed fox.

  After that the animals had all looked up to Ranmaru as their sort of King or Leader and had thereafter treated him like a God. Opps.

  Ranmaru shook his head ruefully. That wasn’t quite what Ranmaru had intended. He had merely wanted to show the other animals that they were the same, equals, and for that reason they had no reason to fear him, but for some reason all of the animals had started to worship him or something. Ranmaru felt a trickle Bitch 145

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  of sweat forming on his brow at the thought. Ranmaru didn’t quite understand it but...was glad it was at least a lot easier to handle his duties of their care a.k.a cleaning out their stalls, feeding and grooming them.

  Ranmaru got along with all of the strange and unusual creatures after that pretty well. Although there was one pet that annoyed the hell out of him. It was the Inugami (or yokai dog) named Kaze. The beast was at least twice the size of a tiger and had white fur. His paws, the tips of his ears and tip of his tail were black. He had dark, liquid black eyes. And a brain that was most likely the size of a pea…

  Ranmaru had the most difficulty handling this creature because unlike the other animals the yokai dog just didn’t get it. Kaze still tried to attack, err, play with Ranmaru in an overenthusiastic manner not intimidated by Ranmaru in the least, and because of the dog’s size and strength Kaze had nearly ripped Ranmaru’s arm off one day by accident. Opps.

  ‘Playtime’ with Kaze was no laughing manner. And Ranmaru had to wonder at Kaze’s true origins due to his sheer power…

  But even though Ranmaru had decided to keep his eye on the beast all that dog ever did was eat, sleep, scratch, sniff, sneeze, snort, shit...Ranmaru shook his head. This wasn’t the only thing about Kaze that was problematic. Kaze liked to drool...green acid. Kaze would sometimes randomly shake his head while sending dangerous acidic drool flying everywhere (the other animals running for cover) causing mayhem and destruction in his wake. And Ranmaru was the one left to clean up the mess, make repairs, and try not to get his own flesh eaten away when he got drooled on... Sigh.

  All the other animals that had WAY more intelligence than Kaze seemed to give Ranmaru sympathetic looks when he was forced to take care of the hyper yokai dog. And at times Ranmaru had been forced to get a little ‘rough’ in order to subdue Kaze, once sending the dog flying across the menagerie when he 146

  had merely shoved the dog back after Kaze had glomped Ranmaru unexpectedly and had tried to lick his face. Cough. Opps. Sometimes Ranmaru didn’t know his own strength. But even if Ranmaru was a little rough with the creature, Kaze always came back for more, tail wagging, tongue hanging out of his mouth, looking up at Ranmaru with those large, trusting, hopeful eyes. ‘Let’s do that again! Whee~ that was fun!’

  Waiting, craving for that one pat on the head that would never come...

  Ranmaru looked down at the dog and something inside his chest ached.

  This was why he hated dogs... Roze came into the menagerie to check up on Ranmaru. She was wearing her usual Kimamura maid outfit, which consisted of a black dress, with a frilly white apron overtop, and lacy maid hat sitting on top of her bobbed red hair. And of course she was still wearing those large, round glasses on her face that were hiding her eyes.

  Ranmaru’s animal instincts told him that there was more to Roze than met the eye. That though she pretended to be delicate, weak, and lady-like, Roze was in fact very strong... Roze...was dangerous.

  “Ranmaru?” Roze called as she walked through the trees in the menagerie. “You here? Are you alright? It’s almost time to make Kusanagi’s breakfast. And you know she’ll only eat what you make.”

  Ranmaru didn’t respond and continued to brush Kaze’s fur calmly while the dog chewed on his arm painfully, err, lovingly. Blood dripping down his arm...

  Roze spotted them and approached.

  “I’m nearly finished.” Ranmaru replied in his usual monotone voice.

  Roze looked around becoming impressed at how clean and well maintained the menagerie was, and also that all the animals seemed to be in harmony too. How odd, usually they were picking fights with one another trying to see which was the superior animal. To find their one ‘King’ or leader of the pack. Roze’s eyes widened when she realized the animals all had their eyes focused on Ranmaru as if they were waiting for his Bitch 147

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  approval. Roze’s eyes widened since she realized they had chosen him to be their ‘King’!

  “Roze.” Ranmaru began. “Tell me, how did the Lady Kusanagi come to possess all of these creatures?” Ranmaru questioned in a low, soft, thoughtful voice as he continued to brush Kaze’s fur.

  Roze froze, “Oh? Well, you know, Kusanagi has a TON

  of money and she just loves animals. And really there’s nothing money can’t buy! Even unicorns! She uses her money to buy and import as many rare, endangered, or magical creatures as she can get her hands on. It’s a crazy hobby or should I say habit of hers really.” Roze laughed nervously and Ranmaru narrowed his eyes at her. Roze was hiding something big, but what?

  “What is the reason behind all this security?” Ranmaru pressed, hoping to get a clue.

  Roze looked away and then tried to gain control over her expression, letting a careless mask fall over her worried features.

  “Oh well, the animals are extremely valuable. It’s only logical thieves may come and try to steal one of Kusanagi’s animals...”

  Ranmaru raised an eyebrow at her. She was definitely hiding something.

  Before Ranmaru could prod further however the Lady Kusanagi rode into the menagerie, and both Ranmaru and Roze turned to see that she
was covered in brambles, cuts, scrapes and bruises. Ranmaru’s eyes widened in concern. Had his Mistress been attacked?

  Roze seemed equally concerned. “Kusanagi- sama! What happened?”

  A light blush sprung up on Kusanagi’s cheeks.

  “Oh...nothing really. I fell.”

  “Fell?” Roze exclaimed, “You’re an expert rider! How on earth-”

  Kusanagi turned even redder and pointed an accusing finger at Ranmaru. “It’s all his fault!”

  Ranmaru blinked. Huh?

  Roze also looked equally confused. “Kusanagi- sama? ”

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  “You!” Kusanagi shot a glare at Ranmaru, “Just stay out of my head! Got it? That’s an order! Hmph!”

  Ranmaru just quirked his head at his Mistress in confusion, delighting in the way her emerald green eyes were sparkling in anger...

  Kusanagi seemed to notice and turned away in a huff, nearly riding into a tree. Opps. Ranmaru’s expression turned to concern. What was wrong with his beautiful, err, perfectly normal looking Mistress?

  But when he turned to Roze she seemed to be hiding a smile while at the same time containing a laugh behind her hand. Nani? This only made Ranmaru more confused. Women... Ranmaru knew he had missed something. What had he done to make his Mistress mad at him this time? Bow-wow? Wait I’m not a dog dammit!

  ***

  This time it was Orihime.

  Kusanagi’s eyes trailed after Orihime and to just behind her where a large shadow was, the Grim Reaper’s shadow...Kusanagi could even see the outline of the Grim Reaper’s giant scythe, which meant that Orihime was going to die sometime that very day.

  Kusanagi sighed and decided she’d have to keep a close eye on Orihime that day whether she really wanted to or not. She didn’t really know or like the extremely popular girl, but Kusanagi couldn’t just stand by and watch, and do nothing as Orihime was killed somehow…