Only With You

by Alexander, Monica

  She reached out and smacked my shoulder. “Jerk!”

  I ducked away from her and laughed, but she was laughing too. “Too soon?”

  “Uh, yeah. Probably.”

  “Fine. No more penis jokes. But tell me this, how many of your songs do you sing each night thinking about me?”

  I actually didn’t know the answer to that question. I only knew about Only With You. She’d never told me who her other songs were about, but I knew how many of them I imagined her singing to me.

  “All the ones about love,” she said honestly.

  I smiled. I liked that answer. “So tell your fans that. Tell them about me.”

  She raised an eyebrow. “Really?”

  “Yeah, really. I’m okay with it. Hell, everyone already knows we’re together.”

  “Some people probably hate you. They liked Dillon and me together. You might get booed”

  I waved a hand in dismissal. “Whatever. He didn’t love you like I do, so I win. And I’m cute. The girls will like me. I’ve already seen the comments on Twitter. Hey, maybe we can do a poll. Who do you like better with Sydney Chase – Ryder Nobody or Dillon Boy Band? I’m cute and smart.”

  “Yeah, but he’s cute and he sings.”

  “Damn,” I said, snapping my fingers. “Oh well, I got the girl, so who cares.”

  She leaned forward and kissed me. “You sure did. And if it’s any consolation, I think you’re cuter than him, and you’re a better kisser.”

  My eyes got wide and my mouth dropped open. “You kissed him?!”

  She smiled. “Nope. Gotcha.”

  “Oh, you’re so gonna get it,” I said, pulling her onto my lap and tickling her until she screamed.

  Then I just held her close to me so she was snuggled on my lap. She laid her head on my shoulder.

  “How is it that in five minutes you can make me go from feeling like absolute crap to laughing? You’ve always been able to do that.”

  I smiled. “It’s because we’re meant to be together,” I said simply, and I think she knew that too.

  A knock on the door sounded then. “We heard laughing. Can we come in?” Denise asked.

  “Sure,” Sydney called out, and the door opened as everyone filed back into the room.

  I knew they were way behind schedule, but Sydney was smiling, so I didn’t think anyone would be all that upset with me. I’d kind of saved the day.

  “Go on,” I gestured to Sydney, and she hopped off my lap and back into the make-up chair.

  “Thank you,” Shelly mouthed to me, a grateful look on her face.

  Clea immediately started fussing with Sydney’s hair. Usually they didn’t work in tandem, but I figured since they were behind, it was necessary. Denise came and sat next to me.

  “You’re a miracle worker,” she told me, elbowing me in the arm. “She’s been in tears all day, and after five minutes you’ve got her smiling.”

  “I must have a magic touch,” I joked.

  She laughed. “No, in all seriousness. Thank you. We were all really worried about her. I hate that someone did that to you guys. Do you know who it was?”

  I nodded. “Yeah, a jealous ex-girlfriend of mine, unfortunately.”

  Denise shook her head. “That’s awful.”

  “She’s not really a very nice person, I guess,” I said, wondering why I’d ever dated someone so unstable. I still couldn’t believe Kirsten had done that.

  “Well, for what it’s worth, we’re pissed you guys didn’t tell us you were together, especially since we knew something was going on, but we understand why you wanted to keep it under wraps. And we’re so happy for you. You know we all thought Syd should have dated you years ago.”

  I smiled. “Yeah, me too. But we’re together now, so I guess that’s all that matters.”

  “How long are you here for?”

  “You know, I’m not sure,” I said looking up at Sydney who was munching on a Twizzler and watching me in the mirror. I smiled at her and wondered what she’d say if she could hear my conversation with Denise. “I was thinking of staying for the rest of the summer.”

  I knew a week with her wasn’t enough time, especially after everything that had happened. I didn’t want Sydney to be alone over the next few weeks. On the plane ride up, I’d given it a lot of thought, and I was considering staying. I’d have to rearrange my schedule and add the classes I’d planned on taking to my fall schedule, but I didn’t think that would be an issue. I just couldn’t wrap my head around leaving again. A part of me felt like I belonged on tour with Syd, at least for now.

  Denise beamed at me. “Does Sydney know?”

  I shook my head. “No, I was going to tell her tonight.”

  “That would make our girl so happy. She’s been missing you. Even when we thought you were just friends, we knew she was sad when you weren’t around, reading your textbooks and smiling at her from this very spot. And that spark that’s in her eyes when you’re around, it fades when you go away. You make her brighter, Ryder.”

  She made me brighter. Hell, she lit up my whole damn world.

  Laurie chose that moment to walk in the door, but instead of going to Sydney, she went right to me. Sydney watched us in the mirror.

  “Tell me you didn’t make a statement to the press,” Laurie said, hands on her hips.

  “I didn’t make a statement to the press?” I echoed, not sure what she was talking about.

  Her whole body relaxed then. “Thank God. This day has been bad enough without you telling off the media.”

  Oops.

  “Uh, I might have done that,” I said quietly.

  Laurie threw her hands up. “Jesus, what did you say?”

  I cocked my head at her. “What did you hear that I said?”

  She repeated a rough version of what I’d said outside of the frat house earlier in the day, and then she looked at me expectantly. “Does that about sum it up?”

  “Yeah, that’s pretty much what I said.”

  “Way to go, Ryder,” Denise said, elbowing me playfully.

  “No, not way to go, Ryder,” Laurie said, visibly unhappy with me. “Next time, don’t speak to the press unless you talk to me first. I speak on behalf of Sydney Chase, not you.”

  I shot a glance at Syd. She was watching our conversation, but she hadn’t said a word. I was having trouble reading her expression to know how she felt.

  “Hey, I spoke on behalf of myself, not Sydney,” I defended. “Last time I checked, you don’t represent me.”

  I’d never spoken to Laurie, or anyone else on Sydney’s team, that way before, but I wasn’t going to let her persecute me for something I did for myself.

  “When you admitted you were in a relationship and talked about ‘we’ you did speak on her behalf, and when you’re dating her, yes, I do represent you. I represent her and her interests, and you are one of her interests.”

  “Her interests?” I said standing up so I could face Laurie. I wasn’t sitting down for this conversation. “I’m her boyfriend. I love her and she loves me. I’m not ‘an interest’. And this isn’t a relationship you’ll have to worry about dealing with. I’m not about drama of any kind, and quite frankly, I knew what I could and couldn’t say today. I’m a pretty intelligent guy, and I’ve been around Syd enough to know what is acceptable for the media to hear.”

  Laurie looked ready to smack me. “Ryder, I know you’re intelligent. No one is questioning that, but this is a big deal. It’s her career.”

  “It’s also my life,” Sydney piped up. “And I personally support what Ryder said one hundred percent. Especially the parts about how he feels about me.”

  “Sydney,” Laurie protested, but Sydney shook her head.

  “No, Laurie. I get that today has majorly sucked, and you have done a fabulous job of navigating through everything. You and your team are the best. It’s why I hired you, but you’re wrong about this. Ryder would never do anything to hurt me. I know that, but you have to put yourself
in his shoes. He came home from an already stressful week of finals to a yard full of paparazzi. He’s had no formal instruction on what to do when that happens, and in light of all of that, I think he handled himself pretty damn well.”

  Thank you, baby.

  Laurie let out a sigh. “You’re going to be here all week, right?” she asked me.

  I nodded. “Yeah, I am.”

  “Fine. Elisa will spend some time coaching you on how to handle the press. If you guys are serious about being together then we’ll need to make sure you’re prepared – when you’re with Sydney and when you’re alone.”

  “Fine by me,” I told her.

  “Fine. Sydney, you have five minutes until the meet-and-greet starts. Will you be on time?”

  “Yes,” Sydney said confidently.

  “Good. See you there.”

  Then she left the room, leaving us all in silence for a few seconds.

  As Sydney and I left the room for the meet-and-greet tent, she took my hand. We both knew there was no sense in masking who we were to each other now.

  “Did you really lay into the paparazzi today?” she asked.

  “Yeah, I did. They pissed me off. They were asking all these invasive questions about us, and I figured if I answered them, they’d leave me alone.”

  She chuckled softly. “It didn’t work, did it?”

  I shook my head. “No, it didn’t. But I learned my lesson. I’m just going to ignore them from here on out.”

  “It’s what I do.”

  When we reached the tent, she stopped outside. “Tonight it’s probably best if I go in alone,” she said, and I could hear how much it pained her to do it, but her fans would go nuts if they saw me there, and we both knew it.

  I smiled. “I understand. I’ll hang out with Elisa,” I said, gesturing to the blond who was talking to someone on her walkie-talkie nearby.

  “Thank you,” Sydney said, and then she kissed me, something she’d never done in front of other people before.

  “I think I’m going to like that our secret’s out,” I told her, and she smiled.

  “I love you for what you said about me today.”

  “It was the truth.”

  “I know. I just really liked hearing it.”

  I smiled. “Well, knowing our luck, someone probably recorded it, and you can hear it played back on You Tube again and again later tonight.”

  She laughed, and it was the best sound in the world.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Sydney

  I was standing on stage about to bear my soul in a way that I’d never done before. I always hid behind my music, but tonight, that was going to change. It needed to change.

  “So, today was a rough day for me,” I told the audience. “As I’m sure all of you know, someone shared some things about me that were very personal and not things I wanted to showcase to the general public. But when you’re in the spotlight, sometimes this happens.”

  “We love you, Sydney,” a group of girls shouted from the floor.

  “I love you guys too. So much,” I said, and a cheer went up around the arena.

  I’d never been so grateful to see that my fans were still with me. Seeing the signs around the arena and hearing the cheers when I’d come on stage let me know that there were people who weren’t fazed by what had happened. Of course I’d taken notice that there were several empty seats scattered around, and I knew it was from what had happened earlier that day. I hoped in time I could win those fans back. I was also aware of the ‘SYDNEY + DILLON FOREVER’ signs I could see dotting the arena, but I knew I couldn’t please everyone, and hopefully in a few minutes, they would understand.

  “I’m actually going to take a few minutes to tell you a story if that’s okay. It’s a story of a boy and a girl.” Cheers went up around the arena. “Now I know this is probably uncharted territory, but you guys know I’m all about breaking down barriers and starting new trends.”

  More cheering.

  I stole a glance back at Ryder who smiled and gave me a thumbs-up. I smiled back.

  “Twelve years ago, I met a boy. His name was Ryder Thompson, and he was the sweetest boy I’d ever known. We grew up together, and he became my best friend. In fact, he’s the only person, outside of my family, who’s been with me on this journey since day one. What I didn’t realize was that somewhere along the way, I fell in love with this beautiful, sweet, smart, kind, loving, perfect boy. He’d become the most important person in my life, but I was blind to what he felt for me.”

  I paused to take note of the fact that ten thousand people were silent and listening to me tell this story that was making my knees shake. I was fighting so hard to keep my voice steady. I didn’t get stage fright, but that night I was terrified, because I was cutting myself wide open and sharing something so personal with a roomful of strangers who had cell phones trained on me recording every word. But Ryder was right. I couldn’t take this lying down. I was going to own it in the only way I knew how.

  “Ryder was in love with me, and he had been for many years. When I finally realized I loved him too, it was so simple to just be together. Falling in love is the greatest thing in the world, and although I’d done it before, nothing made me fall as hard as I did for Ryder, because he loves me unconditionally. And at the end of the day, that’s what you want. To fall in love recklessly and to know that the boy you love is going to be there to catch you.”

  I looked at the people I could see in the first few rows and saw a few girls wiping their eyes. I smiled at the audience.

  “Now, my new album isn’t out until next year, but I think you’ll be able to fully understand what I mean when you hear some of the songs. I’ve been writing like mad over the past few weeks, and I can’t wait for you to hear some of the music that Ryder has inspired.”

  Shouts rang out from the audience of people asking me to play some of my songs now.

  I shook my head and smiled. “No, I can’t do that, but I can play for you the song Ryder inspired. I know I’m probably breaking a cardinal rule here, but I wrote this about him when we were friends. However, the song and how I feel for him, have never been more paralleled than they are today.”

  The audience was looking at me, waiting to hear what song I was going to play next.

  “But first, how many of you would like to meet the guy who stole my heart?”

  Massive cheers went up around the arena, and I looked back at Ryder who was staring at me with wide eyes. I beckoned him forward, and he shook his head, so I gave him a pleading look.

  “Please, Ryder. These people want to meet you.”

  Finally he stepped onto the stage, looking all hot and sexy wearing a black t-shirt that stretched across his chest, fitted jeans that I knew showed off his ass and his black Converse sneakers. I smiled, and around the arena, cheers and whistles went up, along with a few boos, but I chose to ignore them. I couldn’t please everyone, and I knew that.

  I reached my hand out and took Ryder’s when he got close enough, pulling him in for a kiss.

  “This wasn’t part of the plan,” he said playfully before he would kiss me. I just smiled.

  “I love you,” I told him.

  “Yeah, yeah. I know you do.”

  I grinned at him. Then he closed the distance between us, and before ten thousand people, we had our first real public kiss. What a way to come out.

  Then I turned and faced the audience, my hand still in Ryder’s. “Everyone, say hi to my boyfriend, Ryder.”

  Choruses of ‘Hi Ryder!’ went up around the arena, and Ryder waved with his free hand. His other one was holding mine tightly.

  I held the microphone up for him. “Hello, St. Louis. How amazing is my girlfriend?”

  I laughed as the audience broke out in cheers. When they quieted down, I turned to him. “Do you want to introduce the next song?”

  He grinned. “Sure,” he said, taking the microphone back from me as he turned to the audience. “This is my favorite s
ong Sydney has ever written, and it’s not because she wrote it for me. I only recently learned that. But it’s because the song itself is beautiful and soulful, and Syd has the most gorgeous voice. So without further ado, here is Sydney Chase singing Only With You.”

  I smiled at Ryder, and we turned around to walk to the back of the stage together. He squeezed my hand before we parted ways – me to the piano and him to head back off-stage. As I sat down, I watched Laurie say something to him and shake her head, but he just shrugged. I figured she might have an issue with what I’d just done, but she could deal with me about that when the show was over.

  The rest of the concert went better than expected, and I felt like for the first time all day, my mood was lighter than it had been in hours, hell months, because the world finally knew how I felt and who I was with. It was a liberating feeling.

  When I exited the stage, Laurie was waiting for me. “You know that little speech landed on You Tube and already has a hundred thousand views, don’t you?”

  I shrugged. “Good. I got to tell my side of the story for once.”

  Laurie’s face softened. “You know what, in this instance, I think you were right. Nice job.”

  I smiled. “Thanks Laurie. And thanks again for everything today. You’re the best.”

  “Hey Syd,” Elisa said then, giving me a hug. “Great show.”

  “Thanks.”

  “Listen, there are fans lined up out back. Can you do a signing? I think it would be good in light of everything that’s happened.”

  I nodded. “Sure. Just let me tell Ryder, okay.”

  I looked around to see where he’d gone. Usually he was the first person I saw when I came off-stage.

  Elisa smiled. “I already told him. He headed back to the hotel and said he’d meet you there.”

  “Oh,” I said, my face falling.

  She was still grinning. “I actually think he had something special planned for you, so don’t be upset with him.”

  Damn, that was so Ryder. I nodded. “I won’t be. He’s pretty great, isn’t he?”

  She winked at me. “He’s amazing – for a gay guy.”

  I reached out and lightly shoved her shoulder. “You’re never going to let me forget that, are you?”