Tangled Up In You

by Jaclyn Osborn

  “Go back to sleep,” he repeated before gently shrugging out of my hold.

  I lay on the pillow and watched as he looked for his clothes. He must’ve remembered we’d stripped them off in the living room because he gave up his search and walked toward the door. Before he left the room, he turned back and looked at me. He didn’t say anything before walking the rest of the way out.

  I tried going back to sleep, but it was useless. My mind was alert and my chest felt hollow.

  Why did things have to be so complicated? Clearly, both Hunter and I still felt the same about each other. But I hadn’t asked him if he even wanted a relationship. I’d just assumed he had.

  Yeah. We needed to talk.

  I only hoped it’d be about our future and not just rehashing the past for the millionth time.

  Flipping onto my stomach, I grabbed his pillow and buried my face in it. The smell of him was all around me—the pillow, sheets, and blanket—and I lay there. Missing him. He hadn’t been gone for more than ten minutes, either, which was proof that there was no going back for me.

  Now that I had him again, I couldn’t let him go. I’d tried to fool myself the other day by saying I’d be okay without him, but after experiencing his touch again and feeling that connection that I’d only ever felt with him, I needed him like the air that filled my lungs.

  Eventually, I rolled out of bed and put on my sweat pants, shoes, and a hoodie. I’d get in a workout before taking a shower and starting the day. Before I walked downstairs, I saw it was five minutes until six a.m. I hadn’t been up that early in a while.

  I yawned as I pulled my hood up and went outside. The cold air woke me right up, though. Fucking Arkansas weather. I didn’t mind winter, but I was ready for spring. Ready for new life and new beginnings.

  I smiled as I started a slow jog down the dirt road. Maybe it’d be a new beginning for me and Hunter—if we could just work out whatever it was that threatened to keep us apart.

  Football was my life, and I didn’t know what I’d do after this next season if I didn’t get signed for more years. Sure, I had a sort of modeling career as well, but I had a feeling that shit would end when I was no longer the star quarterback.

  If my career ended, would I continue living in Kansas City? I loved it there, living in my house in Overland Park. But what about Hunter? If we agreed to try to work things out, would I just travel back and forth to see him?

  I couldn’t ask him to move to Missouri for me and give up his job.

  The more my thoughts swirled, the faster I jogged. The antsier I became. I didn’t want to choose between my love of football and Hunter. Why couldn’t I have both?

  I’d already chosen football over him before.

  “Fuck this shit,” I growled to myself, picking up my pace. “No more thinking.”

  I tuned into the sound of my shoes hitting the dirt, the smell of wood smoke as someone nearby must’ve had their furnace going, and the sight of a gradually lightening sky as the sun prepared to rise.

  The ground was damp, the air was thin, and there was a quiet that could only ever be experienced in winter.

  Following the path, I came to a small clearing. A willow tree stood tall in the center, its branches long and nearly touching the ground. The location combined with the scent of snow in the air triggered a memory, and just like that, Hunter was back in my mind.

  “Why is it so quiet when it snows?” I asked as Hunter and I stood outside, watching in awe as the flakes fell from the white sky. It stuck to the grass and started weighing down the branches of the trees.

  He’d come over to my house that morning so we could ride to school together, but right as he’d gotten there, we’d found out school had been canceled because of the weather.

  “Snow absorbs sound,” Hunter answered, holding out his hand to catch a snowflake in the palm of his glove. “But it’s also because the world stops to appreciate it too.” His brown eyes flashed to me and a smile lit his face. “People stay inside and aren’t on the roads as much, and animals do the same. Wait. What are yo—”

  I chunked a snowball at him, hitting him square in the chest.

  “Oh, you asshole!” he exclaimed before ducking down and gathering snow in his hands.

  A snowball fight ensued. It was intense too. And epic. Even while wearing gloves, my hands got cold and stung. As did my cheeks and the tip of my nose. I was having too much fun to quit, though.

  Hunter tried to run away as I formed a massive snowball, but I threw it and hit him in the back of the head.

  “Dude, you can’t outrun me.”

  “Damn you and your quarterback arm,” he said, pivoting on his heels to glare at me. The scowl turned to a smile, once we made eye contact. He looked around the clearing before grabbing my hand and pulling me under the branches of the willow tree.

  “What are you doing?”

  And then he kissed me.

  I put my hands in his coat pocket and pulled him closer, moving my mouth with his. He smelled like cedar and smoke with a hint of mint.

  “My lips are numb,” I said, inches from his mouth, before we both started laughing.

  Hunter nuzzled my neck. “I have an idea.”

  Curious, I stared as he pulled out a pocket knife and opened the blade. He turned to the tree trunk and started carving something. Catching on to what he was doing, I grinned.

  “This way, a part of us will always be here,” Hunter said, smiling. “No matter where life takes us, we’ll be together. Somehow.”

  I stood beside the tree, running my hand across the bark. My chest warmed despite the chill in the air, as I felt the carving beneath my fingertips.

  H & C.

  In a completely fucked up way, I felt like destiny had brought me back home. To him. To have a second chance to seize what we’d lost.

  When I got back to the house, I took a long, hot shower before pulling out my laptop and catching up on emails. Jennifer, my agent, had sent me a contract for the shoe ad to look over. She also mentioned another shoot with Veronica that’d be coming up in March. I replied to her and said that worked for me.

  My phone rang as I was browsing through my social media page and replying to some fans.

  “Hey, man,” I answered after seeing it was Austin.

  “Dude, I did it. I proposed to her.”

  “Well, don’t leave me hanging, you ass,” I said when he didn’t say anything else. “What the fuck happened? Did she say yes?”

  “Yes, I did,” a sweet, feminine voice said into the phone. “How are you, Corbin?”

  “Hey, beautiful,” I said to Beth. “I’ve been okay. Doing much better than I was. Congrats on the engagement. Just please tell me he didn’t put the ring in a pizza?”

  Beth laughed, and Austin muttered something I couldn’t make out. A rustling sounded on their end of the line.

  “I didn’t put the ring in a damn pizza,” Austin said. “I took her out to eat at her favorite restaurant and had it placed on top of her dessert. It was romantic as fuck.”

  “I’m happy for you guys.” I placed my laptop on the coffee table and leaned back on the couch.

  “Thanks, Taylor.” He sounded so damn happy, and he deserved that happiness. He was one of the funniest and most good hearted guys I knew. “You okay? And don’t bullshit me. Your voice is doing that thing again where you say one thing, but I know your goofy ass too well to not hear the sadness in it.”

  Ever since I’d come across the tree Hunter and I’d carved our initials into, I’d felt off. I’d thought I had my whole life planned, but now I wasn’t so sure.

  “Honestly, dude. I’m not sure,” I admitted, pressing my palm into my left eye. A pain throbbed on that side, and I suspected it was due to stress. “I have one more season with the team, and I don’t know what I’m going to do after that. I—”

  “You’ll get signed again,” he said with a hopeful tone.

  “Nah, I won’t. After my ACL injury last season, I haven’t bee
n at my best on the field. I mean, you’ve seen it, Austin. I’m still fast, but not like I used to be. Not even my ability to throw with both arms can save my ass.”

  “You can be a free agent if that happens and another team will pick you up,” Austin countered.

  “Maybe,” I said. “I have a lot of thinking to do.”

  “I’m here for you, okay?”

  “I know.” I sighed and stared up at the ceiling. “So, do y’all have a date for the wedding yet?”

  We talked a little longer, and I was sure to keep the focus on him and Beth. I wasn’t in the mood to talk about my problems, mostly because I was still trying to hold onto the happiness from the night before when I’d been with Hunter.

  When I got off the phone with Austin, I saw I had a text from Will.

  William: You’re a fucking asshole. It’s been weeks and I haven’t heard a word from you.

  I was about to text him, but then I thought it best just to call him and get it over with faster.

  “About time you called me back,” William answered with a lethal amount of venom in his voice.

  “I’m sorry,” I said, and I meant it. I should’ve returned his calls weeks ago. You couldn’t just ignore your problems, and it was about time I faced one of mine. “Things have been a little crazy lately.”

  William sighed. “I understand you were upset that day, and I shouldn’t have acted so heartless. I was just upset because you’d been gone a while, and right when you came home, you had to leave again.”

  A tic started in my jaw.

  “I asked you to come with me, Will. You were just too preoccupied with our trip to care.” My heart thumped harder as anger seeped through my veins, and I needed to rein it in before I blew up at him. “But that’s in the past.”

  “So are you coming back soon?” he asked. “There’s a cruise to the Bahamas in a week that’d be nice for us to go on. It’d give us the chance to clear the air and make up.”

  “Will… we’re not together anymore,” I reminded him, pinching the bridge of my nose between my thumb and forefinger. “I have no intention of getting back with you. I only called you back so we could end things on good terms. I’m sorry if you got the wrong idea.”

  “The wrong idea?” he spat back. “For three months we’ve been fucking in private like I’m some dirty secret of yours. You kept telling me you’d come out eventually and for me to just be patient. And now you just dump me? You’re an asshole.”

  I was about to apologize—again—but he hung up on me.

  “Dammit!” I tossed my phone beside me.

  I’d never wanted to hurt William. As selfish and high-maintenance as he was, he wasn’t a horrible person. Just spoiled. I took no pleasure in breaking his heart, but I couldn’t give him what he wanted.

  Not when my heart belonged to someone else.

  The grandfather clock in the corner of the room went off, and the sound of its chime was nostalgic. When I was little, I’d sometimes sit in front of it and wait for it to go off. Before it gave the time, it played an almost eerie melody.

  Eleven o’clock.

  Since I’d woken up so early that morning, I’d already done a sweep of the house and checked for any areas that I thought needed fixing. I’d also gone through a few things in various rooms and started a donation pile.

  I hadn’t touched Grandpa’s more sentimental items yet, but I’d at least gotten a start on it all. I’d done so much, and it was only freaking eleven a.m.

  I’d go insane if I had to stay there alone all day.

  I grabbed my phone and texted Hunter.

  Me: Hey. Are u allowed to have visitors for lunch?

  Hunter: Maybe… why? You’re aware that if you show up here, you will be mauled by teenagers, right?

  I laughed as I started texting back.

  Me: I can take it ;) what time is ur lunch? I’ll bring us food.

  He said his lunch was at noon, so I got off the couch and jogged upstairs to make myself look more presentable.

  When I’d gotten the call about Gramps and packed things to go there, I’d tried to plan ahead and bring a few outfits, but I’d ended up staying way longer than I’d anticipated. I’d had to order some clothes online and have them delivered about a week or so ago.

  I flipped through the shirts hanging up in the closet and grabbed the sky blue one before pulling it over the long sleeve shirt I already had on. After checking myself in the bathroom mirror and deciding I could go another day without shaving, I ran a small amount of product through the top of my hair.

  I was excited at the thought of going back to my old high school. It’d be weird going back as a visitor instead of a student. Even weirder would be seeing Hunter as a teacher.

  Fuck, I bet he’s hot when he lectures.

  And with that thought, I decided to wear my jeans instead of the athletic pants.

  Chapter 15

  Hunter

  “How many sources do we have to have for the paper again?” Joel asked.

  “A minimum of four,” I answered. “Make sure you list them in MLA format in the works cited page at the end.” His blank green-eyed stare told me all I needed to know. “I’ll email you the MLA style instructions again.”

  “Thanks, Mr. Walsh!” He turned around to his computer and typed something in the search engine.

  Joel was the running back on the football team and was one hell of an athlete, but he didn’t apply himself in his studies as much as I wished he would. Daniel, the quarterback and his best friend, was in my first period English class, and they reminded me so much of me and Corbin that it was hard for me to get on to them. I’d had them both in the same class the year before, and they’d been the class clowns, always disrupting the lectures with silly comments and even pranks.

  On the days I had lunch duty, their table was always the most rambunctious.

  My phone buzzed, vibrating on the desk at an ungodly volume and causing most of the students to turn and look at me.

  “Uh oh, Mr. Walsh is breaking the no phones in class rule,” Kevin said, creating a chorus of oohs throughout the room.

  “Sorry!” I said, holding my hands up in surrender. “Forgot to put it on silent. Y’all do your work and leave me be.”

  They laughed before going back to talking amongst themselves. By the look of it, only a few were actually working on their paper. The rest were just surfing the web.

  I waited a minute or two before grabbing my phone, putting it under the desk, and opening the message from Corbin, totally acting like a teenager trying to text in class without the teacher knowing.

  He wanted to have lunch with me. My stomach fluttered at the news.

  It was crazy, but it felt like he and I were falling in love all over again. The spark of excitement, the way my heart beat faster at the thought of him, the sneaking around. When we’d had sex the night before, it had felt like the first time.

  It was public knowledge that he’d gone to school there—hell, there was even a picture of him hanging up in the glass case in the hall. But he’d never come back to town before. The kids were going to flip out when they saw him. Which was still weird for me to grasp. That he was a celebrity.

  To me, he was just Corbin: the biggest goofball in the universe, but one I loved more than anything.

  I had to remind myself that so many other people loved him too. As far as role models went, he was a great one to have: responsible, dedicated, good humored, and talented. He was proof that if you worked hard enough, you could reach your dreams, and you didn’t have to sell your soul or toss out your morals to do it.

  We still had things to discuss, but I knew I couldn’t ask him to leave football. What kind of person would that make me if I asked him to give it all up? I could still keep in touch with him after he went back to Kansas City, but I didn’t know if a relationship could continue.

  “Remember that your papers are due next Friday,” I announced after the bell rang and the students started getting up and l
eaving the computer lab.

  I quickly checked my phone for any new texts before slipping it in the side pocket of my laptop bag and standing up. It was noon, but I hadn’t gotten another message from Corbin of whether he was there or not.

  That’s when I heard the screaming.

  It sounded like freaking Leonardo DiCaprio was spotted in the hall or something by the squealing girls. It didn’t take much thought to put two and two together.

  Leaving the computer lab, I saw a thick crowd of students gathered around the main office. Corbin was smack dab in the center, towering over most of them, with the exception of the taller guys. He grinned and talked to them, juggling a sack of something in one hand while signing things with his other.

  “Kids, give the man some breathing room,” Manuel, the principal, said to all the students. He’d been the principal when Corbin and I had gone to school too, and he’d given both of us detention more times than I could count. “Go to the cafeteria for lunch. I’m sure Mr. Taylor will stick around for a while.”

  A few students left, but the majority of them continued to talk to Corbin—who didn’t seem to mind. Daniel and Joel were amongst the crowd of kids, and I watched their faces light up as Corbin explained something to them.

  We made eye contact as I approached. Even with all the people around—and in between—us, it felt like we were the only people in the hallway.

  He said something to the kids before patting them on the backs, walking toward me. He had a sticker stuck to the front of his shirt that read visitor, and I inwardly laughed.

  As if anyone would mistake him for anything else.

  “Hey,” Corbin said once in front of me and held up the bag. “I brought us lunch. I hope you still like Thai food.”

  I was aware of all the eyes on us, so I didn’t pull him in for a hug like I wanted to do. Yeah, friends hugged, but I didn’t want to chance anything. For his sake. Most of my students didn’t even know he’d been my best friend in school, so a lot of them gawked.

  “I do,” I answered. More students gathered around, clearly not aware of the phrase personal space. “Uh, we can eat in the teacher’s lounge.”