Tangled Up In You

by Jaclyn Osborn

  Something flashed in his eyes before he averted his stare.

  “We should get back to the car,” he said. “It’s getting late.”

  I wasn’t sure why, but his whole demeanor had changed at the mention of modeling. There was something he wasn’t telling me, but I hoped he’d eventually tell me. Whatever it was.

  As I sat at my desk and waited for my next class to start, I replayed it all again and tried not to get my hopes up about his expiring contract.

  If Corbin no longer played pro-ball, there was nothing keeping him from staying in Willow. We could build a life together.

  But how much would it crush his spirit in the process?

  I’d be a horrible person if I just let that happen for the sake of my happiness. When you loved someone—truly loved them—you’d sacrifice anything if it meant they were happy. Corbin would be miserable settling for a simple life, one where he had a regular eight to five job and couldn’t play football.

  I knew that even if I could go back to that day seven years ago when I’d broken up with Corbin… I’d do it all over again. As much as it’d hurt me, I’d done it so he could live his dream.

  I’d set him free so he could fly.

  And I refused to be the one to clip his wings now.

  Chapter 18

  Corbin

  One Week Later

  “Everything looks in top notch,” Jerry, the inspector, said as he approached me. He looked to be in his late forties, with graying brown hair and a kind smile. “I’d suggest maybe another coat of paint on the deck just to add to the appearance, but the condition of the place is great.”

  Usually, the buyer would pay to have the house inspected, but I thought it’d help the house get a better price if I did it myself. So that way, the buyer would know of any issues up front and be willing to pay more for it. Not that money was an issue for me—I had way more than any one person should—but I just hated the thought of the house not getting what it deserved.

  “Thanks,” I said, shaking his hand.

  “You should have no issue selling the place, Mr. Taylor. It’s a beauty.”

  After he gave me the inspection sheet and I paid what was due, he got in his truck and left. I walked down the steps of the front porch before turning around and looking at the house.

  It really was beautiful; a two-story manor with maroon paint, decorative columns, and a vast amount of windows to let in the light of a gorgeous sunny day. A sunroom set off to the left, connected to the house by a breezeway lined with ivy. The house was made up of several different styles, including Greek and plantation architecture.

  There was a terrace out back that Grandpa had worked on a lot through the years to make it look like some kind of enchanted garden, with a small fountain in the center and flowers and smaller trees all around it.

  “What are you doing, Taylor?” I asked myself as I took it all in.

  I hadn’t listed the house for sale yet, because I’d wanted the repairs to be done first, as well as the inspection. But I couldn’t deny that I’d purposefully put it off over the past month. As if some part of me knew it was a mistake.

  After walking to the terrace, I sat down on the cushioned bench and looked out over the backyard. Even though it was technically still winter, the weather had shifted to an early spring. It was the twentieth of February and in the upper fifties. A somewhat chilly breeze blew, but the heat of the sun helped balance it, and I only needed a long-sleeved shirt instead of a jacket.

  I checked the time on my phone and saw it was almost eleven-thirty. If I wanted to make it on time for lunch with Hunter, I needed to get moving. As I went back into the house and put on a different pair of pants, I thought about how Hunter had been acting a little off lately. Or maybe that was just my paranoia at play because I still hadn’t told him about the upcoming photoshoot with Veronica.

  Which I planned to tell him; I just hadn’t found the right moment.

  I arrived at the school with only two minutes to spare and went into the main office.

  “I was wonderin’ if you’d be here today,” Kelly said as I walked through the door. She was the receptionist and always seemed to have a big smile on her face. It was infectious.

  “Yeah, I left a little late,” I answered, leaning on the counter and winking at her.

  “Always the charmer you are.” She shook her head before handing me the sign-in sheet. “You know the drill.”

  I signed my name and the time I got there before taking the visitor sticker from her and slapping it on my chest.

  “Don’t cause any trouble now, ya hear?” She gave me the up-down.

  “You never know with me, Kelly,” I said with a smirk before leaving the office and going down the hall.

  Students greeted me along the way, and a few of the football guys chest-bumped me. One of the girls squealed and waved before running to her group of friends and giggling. I’d come to know a lot of the kids, and the way they looked up to me was kind of endearing.

  Daniel, one of the football guys, was probably the one I was closest to. He was the quarterback, but that wasn’t the only reason we were close. He was genuinely a good kid, and I got the feeling he didn’t have the best home life. When I sat with him and talked at lunch, it seemed like it made his whole day. And it was kind of an amazing feeling to be able to have that impact on someone.

  Funny that when I attended there, I couldn’t wait to leave…and now I enjoyed being back.

  Hunter was in his classroom, and his back was toward the door. He talked to Joel, another student I’d gotten to know, and I snuck up behind him.

  Joel caught sight of me and nearly gave me away with how his mouth instantly went into a smile, but he looked back at Hunter and tried to avoid looking at me.

  “You just need to apply yourself more,” Hunter told him in a gentle, but serious, tone. “You’re smart, kid, and you’re a great writer. But you have to actually do the work to pass my class.”

  “I’m sorry, Mr. Walsh. I’ll do better.”

  “Don’t apologize to me,” Hunter countered, handing Joel a paper with a big red D- on the front. “It’s a disservice to yourself. You had some great ideas in this, but you skimped on the research and gave me wikipedia sources after I said those were unacceptable.” I was only a foot away now. “Corbin, I swear to god, you better rethink what you’re about to do.”

  “Damn!” I stood beside them, crossing my arms. “You have eyes in the back of your head.”

  “He does!” Joel chimed-in. “He used to always catch me and Daniel passing notes in class. It must be his teacher super powers.”

  “What’s this I hear about a D?” I looked at Joel. “Man, you’re better than that.”

  Joel looked down at his feet and shifted his weight. “Yeah, I know.” He brought his hand up and rubbed at his neck before dropping it again and folding his research paper in half. “Is there anything I can do to make it up, Mr. Walsh? Like a bonus points assignment or something?”

  “I’ll think about it,” Hunter said, clearly softening up to the kid. “Now go to lunch. We’ll discuss it later.”

  Joel bumped my fist before leaving the room.

  “Kid needs to stop fooling around so much,” I said with a grin. “Maybe then he’d be able to focus on his work.”

  “Huh?”

  “Ah come on, Hunter.” I nudged his shoulder. “Did you not see the freaking hickey on his neck? There were, like, three of them actually.”

  “Didn’t really pay attention,” he answered, turning to straighten the stack of papers on his desk. “I was too busy worrying about his future.”

  I admired his toned forearms before taking in the broadness of his shoulders and how the dress shirt he wore was so fit around his biceps that it looked like the material would split if he wasn’t careful. My mouth watered, and I suddenly had images of me pushing him on the desk and ripping that shirt off, kissing down his smooth chest and down lower to his belly button, where I’d swirl my to
ngue and…

  “Cor?”

  Snapping out of my fantasy, I focused on his sweet brown eyes. “You ready to eat lunch? I didn’t have time to stop and grab us something, so I guess school food will have to do. Unless you want to leave campus for lunch.”

  Hunter narrowed his eyes. “What were you just thinking about?”

  I shrugged and fidgeted with one of the markers in the tray by the board, finding them suddenly fascinating.

  “You want to fuck me against this desk, don’t you?” Hunter asked, and when I looked back at him, his arms were crossed over his chest and he had a knowing look in his eyes.

  “Maybe.”

  When Hunter smiled, it was like everything was made right in the world. The flash of pearly white teeth and the crinkling in his right cheek was a sight for sore eyes. A lopsided grin that hit me square in the heart and traveled down to my throbbing dick.

  “Come on, Romeo,” he said before walking toward the door.

  “Does that make you Juliet?” I asked, wiggling my brows.

  He turned and scoffed. “Definitely not. If we’d be anyone from Shakespeare’s world, it’d be Beatrice and Benedick from Much Ado About Nothing, because of our joking around and battle of wits.”

  Warmth spread through my chest at a memory from so long ago: a text I’d sent him on the last morning before everything went to shit.

  “I love you with so much of my heart that none is left to protest,” I quoted from the play.

  Hunter’s gaze softened. “You remembered.”

  I stepped toward him and took his hand. “I never forgot.”

  ***

  I stayed the rest of the work day with Hunter, sitting in his classes as he lectured about Tartuffe and prepared the kids for an upcoming quiz. So much was on my mind—decisions I needed to make. The incident with the house earlier kind of knocked me off my axis, deterring me from the path I’d been taking.

  I wasn’t quite back at square one, but I was close to it.

  What ifs fluttered through my head in an endless torrent.

  What if I accepted this as my last season with the Raptors and officially retired from football? I could still do modeling and anything else on the side. What if I left the bigger city life behind and moved back to Willow? I could live in Grandpa Bill’s house, just like I knew he’d want me to do.

  What if my life with Hunter—the happiness we’d found over the last month—could last forever? We could have the life we’d always wanted.

  Sadness coursed through me as I thought about my life without football, though. It was a huge part of me. It’d be like a musician completely giving up on music, an artist laying down his brush for good, or a writer laying their pen to rest, never to weave another tale.

  That’s what giving up football felt like to me. I could live without it, but a piece of my heart would leave too.

  “Corbin?”

  I looked to see Daniel standing in the doorway to the English classroom. School had just ended a few minutes before, and it was only me and Hunter left in the room.

  “Hey, kid,” I said, walking over to him. “What’s up?”

  “I was wondering…and it’s only if you’re not busy or anything…but I wanted to know if you’d be okay with helping me train today?” Daniel fiddled with his hands, and he wasn’t looking me in the eye. I got the impression he was used to adults letting him down. “I know football season is over, but I’ve been hitting the workout room daily, practicing for next year.”

  Hunter packed up his messenger bag, putting folders of papers he needed to grade in it before closing the flap. He smiled at me and gave a quick nod, as if to tell me to do it.

  “Sure,” I said, clapping Daniel on the back. He’d told me before that he wanted to continue football in college and aim for the pros one day. “It’s never too early to prepare for the college scouts. Work on putting together your game film. They’re already looking at guys, so now’s the time.”

  “Awesome.” He beamed at me before nervously moving his fingers through his black hair. “I just want to make senior year great, you know? To get into a good college and get out of this town.”

  Daniel reminded me so much of myself that I was momentarily taken aback. There was pain behind his words, as if it wasn’t just a desire to get out of this town, but a desperation to escape something within it.

  “I’ll do all I can to help you, kid.” I looked at Hunter. “You want to work out with us?”

  “No, thanks,” Hunter replied, placing the strap of his bag over his shoulder and walking out of the classroom with us. “I need to grade these assignments. Y’all have fun.”

  Daniel started heading down the hall, and I regarded Hunter.

  His expressive brown eyes held my gaze, and even though no words were spoken, I felt an indescribable love deep within my chest. He softly smiled, as did I, before I turned to catch up with Daniel.

  “Does your coach not stay after school to help you guys train?” I asked as we entered the locker room. I kept a bag of gym clothes in my car and had brought them in to change into.

  “Sometimes,” Daniel answered, going to his locker to change. “He sorta doesn’t care about us.”

  “What do you mean?” I pulled on some basketball shorts and a black tank before sitting on the bench and tying my sneakers.

  “He’s old and his heart isn’t in it.” He slammed his locker before sitting beside me and putting on his shoes. “It’s sort of hard to be passionate about the game when your own coach doesn’t give a fuck.”

  “Sorry, kid,” I said, hating that for him and the rest of the guys.

  We stood and left the locker room. The weight room was just on the other side of the door, so we went inside and started stretching.

  “So how long have you and Mr. Walsh been friends?” Daniel asked as we warmed-up.

  “Since we were five,” I answered, smiling as I thought back to how I’d stolen Hunter’s crayon in kindergarten. “We grew up together. People started calling us the twins because we were always together. No matter where he was, I was there too.”

  Daniel’s brow crinkled as he stretched his hamstrings. “So why did you guys stop talking?”

  Regret stabbed into my chest, just like it always did at the mention of mine and Hunter’s falling out.

  “We just went down different paths, I guess.” Before I let myself travel down that treacherous road again, I changed the subject. “That’s enough warming up for now. Let’s go to the practice field to work on some drills.”

  However, Daniel didn’t let the subject drop that easy.

  “Was it because he’s gay?” he asked, standing up and placing the weights back on the rack.

  “What? No.” I hadn’t known Hunter’s students knew his sexuality. He’d told me he’d come out to his parents, but I didn’t know the whole town knew. “Why did you ask?”

  “I don’t know,” Daniel said with a shrug. “People here talk, you know? And not all of them are as open-minded about things. Mostly the older people.” He looked at me, and the intense hurt in his eyes made my stomach turn. “My dad likes to have his friends over a lot, especially on game days, because they all sit around his huge flat-screen TV. Doesn’t matter if it’s football or baseball, just as long as it’s sports and they can drink and pig out. He’s a huge fan of yours.”

  I wasn’t sure what exactly he was getting at, but I understood his need to talk to someone. It was clear in his posture and the defeated look in his dark eyes.

  “He wasn’t too happy that you joined the Raptors,” Daniel added with a humorless laugh. “But he uses you as an example to me, telling me that someone from our small town made it all the way to the pros, so I need to do the same.”

  “You can,” I said, squeezing his shoulder. “But only if that’s what you want to do. Don’t live your life to please others, kid.”

  “I want to,” Daniel said. “It’s just…I don’t know. You remember when that one baseball player came out a
year or so ago? My dad totally went off the deep end, cursing and saying really awful things about him. He says bad things about Mr. Walsh too, which is how I found out he’s gay. Dad said all gay people should be banned from sports because we—um, they’re against nature. They don’t belong.”

  Yeah, I didn’t miss his slip-up.

  I was at a major crossroads right then. Daniel had basically told me he’s gay and was afraid of his dad—afraid of coming out, especially in the world of sports. I wanted to reassure him, to tell him to be himself and damn anyone else. But how could I give him advice on the matter, when I was still hiding who I was?

  “I’m sorry,” Daniel said as his eyes grew wider. “That was a lot to lay on you. Um, let’s go practice.”

  “Wait.” I reached out and grabbed his arm, stopping him from walking away. “I didn’t leave Hunter because he’s gay. In fact…I…” Fuck. The words were on the tip of my tongue, but I couldn’t say them. I wanted to tell Daniel the truth about me, because I knew that information would help him, but I was still too much of a coward. “I left because I got a better offer. Him being gay had nothing to do with it.”

  “How many active players do you know who are out?” he asked, not looking that hopeful.

  “None,” I said, hating the way his face fell at my answer. “All the guys I know who are only came out after their contracts were up.”

  Daniel nodded. “That’s what I thought.”

  “You know you can talk to me, right?” I said. “If there’s something going on at home, or whatever, you can talk to me about it.”

  “I really just want to practice,” he responded, heading for the door.

  “Okay.” I followed him outside.

  The sun was bright, but not too hot when combined with the slight chill in the air. A few other guys on the football team were practicing on the field, and at our approach, they jogged over and high-fived me. I loved seeing them out there. With the season over, it really showed who was the most dedicated on the team.

  Years ago, that’d been me. Every chance I got, I’d been out there working on drills, pushing myself farther and farther, knowing that football was all I’d wanted to do with my life. And I wasn’t going to give up that dream for anything.