Tangled Up In You

by Jaclyn Osborn

  They were the words I’d wanted to hear for so long. But upon actually hearing them? They didn’t sit well with me.

  I didn’t want him to give it all up, especially not for a reason like that. When the time came for him to leave football, I wanted it to be his decision because he was ready—not one he made out of fear.

  “You can’t run from this, Cor,” I said, stepping back so I could look at him. His forehead creased and he was about to say something, but I placed my finger to his lips. “As much as I want you to come home, this is something you need to face. Don’t let William win. Make a public statement or something about it. Show him that instead of beating you down like he wanted, he helped empower you to be true to who you are.”

  Indecision brewed in his eyes.

  “I’m not sure I can,” he mumbled against the fingers that were still on his lips.

  “You’ll never know until you try,” I said in a steady tone, believing with all of my heart that he could do anything he set his mind to. He’d already proven he was capable of turning dreams into reality; embracing the incredible man he was would be no different.

  Corbin kissed the finger against his mouth. I moved my hand aside, but he caught my wrist before I pulled away completely.

  “I love you,” he said, bringing my hand up to cup his face.

  His stubble tickled my palm, and I smoothed my thumb along his cheek. Staring into his gray eyes, I felt as if my whole world was right in front of me—in his gaze, in the feel of his skin on mine, the sound of his somewhat raspy voice. The beating of his heart against mine.

  It felt surreal to love someone so much. I’d loved him when we were younger, but what I felt for him in that moment was greater than love. It was all-consuming and powerful, striking me in the center of my chest like lightning and then fanning all throughout my synapses and sinking into my bones.

  “I love you too,” I said, moving my hand from his face and down to take his hand. “That’s why I’m not letting you just give up without a fight.”

  “You’re right. I don’t need to run from this,” Corbin said, and even though trepidation still lingered in his gaze, his voice was steady. “I’ll call Jen tomorrow and figure out the best way to go about it. Thank you.”

  “For what?”

  “For being my voice of reason.”

  We were supposed to fly back to Willow the next day, and with recent events, I wasn’t sure if that was still the plan. Would I be going back home alone? If so, when would I see him again?”

  As I was in my head, Corbin walked over and grabbed his phone.

  “I wouldn’t do that,” I said, approaching him and taking it from his hand. “Seeing it all will just upset you further.”

  “I know,” he answered, plopping down on the bed and slinging an arm over his eyes. “I just hate not knowing. It’s fucking killing me. I can’t focus on anything but what they’re saying about me.”

  I sat beside him, resting my hand on his inner thigh. “It doesn’t matter what they’re saying, Cor.”

  “Can we stop talking about it for tonight?” He moved his arm and studied me with sad eyes. “Tomorrow…I don’t know. Everything will change. I just want to hang onto this moment with you for as long as I can.”

  Maybe sex couldn’t fix everything…but it couldn’t hurt.

  I crawled up his body and grabbed his arms, pinning them above his head. He gave me a shit eating grin as he looked up at me with a seductive gleam in his eyes. I kissed him deeply. We’d fucked a lot that week, but I wanted to make love to him.

  I broke the kiss to remove his pants and the rest of the clothing separating us.

  His cocky smile faded as he took in my expression, and he lifted his hand to brush his knuckles along my jaw. Our lips met again, and he entwined his fingers in my hair. I melted against him, chest to chest, mouth to mouth, and heart to heart.

  I took my time prepping him, loving the sounds he made as my fingers moved inside of his heat.

  “Hunt,” he moaned, gripping my shoulder as I lay between his legs. “I need you. All of you.”

  When I entered him, he wrapped his arms around my neck. I kissed his temple, his cheek, his jaw, and then his lips, fusing our tongues as his body welcomed more of me.

  Nothing felt more perfect than it did right then.

  Whatever happened tomorrow would happen. There was no stopping the inevitable. But for one of the first times ever, I wasn’t worried about our future. Even if he went back to Kansas City or anywhere else as he sorted this out, I knew he’d always find his way back to me.

  Chapter 24

  Corbin

  Jennifer was a rock star. No, better than that. She was a damn super hero. Magazines, online blogs, sports journalists from all over—all were reaching out and wanting an official statement from me. People were chomping at the bit to be the first one to have an exclusive interview. Jen took the calls and the messages and handled everything with so much poise.

  Hunter had to return to Willow because Spring Break was over, and he had to be back at school that Monday, but I texted him constantly. I hated not having him with me, but I didn’t plan on being gone for long.

  What really touched me was when my teammates all reached out to see how I was doing. A huge part of me had been worried about what they’d say. How they’d treat me. After hearing from them, I was ashamed I ever thought they’d reject me for it. Not all seemed welcoming, but most of them did.

  “Man, I’m fucking pissed at how it happened to you,” Austin said as we sat in my living room back in Kansas City. “But do you feel any relief that it’s finally out in the open? I mean, you’ve struggled with how to come out for a while.”

  His blond hair hung a little in his green eyes, giving him a surfer look. His vacation had given him a nice golden tan, and if the small peeks of his ass were anything to go by, he didn’t have any tan lines. We were dressed in our gym clothes, having just finished working out in my home gym.

  I hadn’t wanted to go to the public gym just yet, not until all of this shit blew over.

  “In a weird way…yeah,” I answered before taking a drink of Gatorade. “I’ve wanted to post about it, but Jen told me to wait and not deny or confirm anything yet.”

  “How’s your boy handling it?” Austin asked, and something about his words made the butterflies go wild in my stomach.

  “Hunter’s okay.” Just the mention of him had my heart aching again. Not even two days apart and I was already going through withdrawals. “When all of this is over, I’m moving back with him. We’ll make the distance work for this next season, but then I’m leaving.”

  “I’m being replaced,” Austin admitted, not meeting my eyes. “Some twenty-year-old is dominating the combines, and I heard the Raptors made him an offer for my spot. I don’t know if I’m upset or not yet. I don’t think it’s fully sunk-in.”

  “Sorry. That sucks.” I nudged his leg with mine. “But hey, we had some great years together. Our replacements won’t have our awesome bromance.”

  “True,” he said with a laugh. “Funny how rumors were spread around that we were fucking, but no one even batted an eye over it.”

  “Veronica had a lot to do with that,” I said as it clicked in my head. “She’s probably the only reason I was able to stay hidden as long as I was.”

  “Fuck.” Austin brushed his fingers through his shaggy bangs. “I don’t even know what I’m gonna do after this.”

  “Me either.” The topic was sobering. “I’m not good at anything else.”

  “I might go into broadcasting or journalism,” he said as he scrunched his brow, bouncing his knee. “Just something to stay in sports. Beth and I want to have kids someday, so I don’t want a job that will keep me away from home too much.”

  We had a long talk about our careers after that. As much as I didn’t want to think about the unknown of my future, I needed to get all my worries out of my head.

  Money wasn’t much of an issue for me. I di
dn’t get paid as much as some of the more notorious quarterbacks, but I was definitely paid more than the average. The money would only last so long, though, and even if I was financially set for forever, I hated the thought of just sitting around the house all day with nothing to do.

  Beth came over that afternoon, bringing several bags of groceries.

  “Since you’re not exactly leaving the house right now, I wanted to make sure you had food,” she said like the sweetheart she was.

  “You’re amazing.” I pulled her in for a hug and kissed the top of her head. “Thank you.”

  Beth was fucking gorgeous: long dark hair, almond shaped hazel eyes, and full lips. And the girl had curves. It was no wonder why Austin had fallen all over himself the first night we saw her in a club. After a few drinks, he’d had enough courage to actually approach her, and the rest was history. But it was her good heart that was the most appealing, in my opinion.

  “So what’s the plan?” she asked as we sat at the table, eating the Chinese takeout she’d brought with her. “Does it really have to be this massive covert mission where you stay cooped up at home like some damn witness protection type shit? You’re gay. Whatever. Why is everyone losing their shit over it?”

  Austin grinned at her. Yeah, the girl had a mouth on her.

  But she had a point.

  “Not sure,” I said after swallowing a bite of chicken fried rice. “Jen is working it all out and told me to stay low for a few days. Supposedly, the magazine that leaked the news is publishing an article tomorrow, so she wanted to wait until after that to act. That way, I know what I’m up against before I make a statement.”

  I refused to even say the fear aloud, but I was afraid William had recorded us fucking or taken pics of us together and was going to release them. Knowing how much of an attention-seeking asshole he was, I wouldn’t put it past him.

  “I didn’t have to come back to KC, but I thought it was the best thing to do,” I continued. “I wanted to talk to our coach and some of the other guys. Plus, give Hunter some space while I sorted this crap out.”

  “Tell me about him,” Beth said with a sweet smile, resting her chin on her hand.

  Austin rolled his eyes and slung his arm around her small shoulders. But as I started talking, his expression changed. He couldn’t fool anyone. Mr. Tight End was a sap at heart.

  “I think we’ve bugged him enough for one night,” he said after another hour had passed. “We should get going.”

  After seeing them out, I locked the door and turned around to look at my too quiet living room. Damn it was lonely. I couldn’t wait until I was back home with my man. Checking the time, I saw it was close to eleven. Hunter was probably already asleep.

  On school nights, he went to bed early. I really wanted to call him—to hear his voice—but I decided to just text him instead, so he’d see it when he woke up in the morning.

  Me: Hey, babe. Just wanted u to know I’m thinking of u. I’ll be back in a few days. Love u.

  After I sent it, I had another idea, and I pulled up a search engine to look it up. I wasn’t as great as Hunter with remembering exact quotes, but I remembered there was one from Hamlet that I really liked.

  Finding what I wanted, I copied the text and sent it to him. It was one about stars and fire, and the sun. And how he should never doubt my love.

  I brushed my teeth before crawling into bed. I was still wide awake, and after thirty minutes of me flipping around and punching my pillow to fluff it up, I sighed and grabbed my phone. The temptation was way too much. I’d refrained from checking any of my social media ever since Hunter told me not to, but the urge was too great.

  I instantly regretted it.

  footballguy86: Hey, Taylor. Gays r disgusting and need 2 stay out of football. I’m tired of having ur sick agenda shoved down my throat. Seek mental help for your sickness.

  There were a lot of interactions on his post, and I was afraid to look at the thread at first. But once again, curiosity won, and I clicked it. A lot of the responses were in support of me, which made my eyes water.

  RaptorsFan: Footballguy86, sounds like u need to stop worrying about things being shoved down your throat and start focusing on removing the stick from your ass. Corbin, I support u! Love u man.

  I stopped looking after that, not ready to face anymore yet. My skin was thick, and I wasn’t a stranger to criticism. For years, I’ve had people say I sucked as a quarterback. In my modeling, I’d received comments saying I was ugly and stupid shit like that. It never bothered me. But something about this just made me emotional.

  I needed Hunter. He always had a way of calming me down and making me forget about things for a while.

  ***

  The next morning, I woke up later than I’d intended. Since it’d taken me so long to fall asleep, I slept in until almost eleven. The number of missed calls and text messages from Jennifer, Hunter, and Austin told me something huge had happened.

  The damn article is out.

  Goddammit, I didn’t know if I even wanted to look.

  Needing just a few minutes of normality before everything went to shit, I went into the kitchen and started a pot of coffee. I debated on adding some whiskey to it, but then common sense won that argument. Getting wasted wouldn’t solve anything, and I needed a clear head for dealing with whatever waited for me in the real world.

  Fuck.

  I drank half of my coffee before my nerves became too much, and I snatched my phone from the kitchen counter. I read Hunter’s good morning text to me and smiled as he commented on the Hamlet quote. But that smile faded as I read the ones he sent after that.

  Hunter: Cor??? You okay? I just read the article.

  Hunter: Corbin Taylor, wake your ass up right now.

  With my stomach in knots, I scrolled to Jennifer’s name in my contacts and called her.

  “About time you called me back,” she said in a huff. “Have you read it?”

  “No,” I answered, feeling like I was going to be sick. “How bad is it?”

  “Let’s just say that William guy is a total douche-canoe,” Jen spat into the phone. I was glad that rage wasn’t directed at me. “I just emailed you the link to it, so you don’t have to hunt it down. Not that you’d have to look far to find it anyway. Call me back once you’ve read and we’ll make a game plan.”

  A lump was wedged in my throat, and it felt like I was being stung all down my arms and legs by a hundred tiny bees. My shaking hands made it difficult to open up the email, and my finger hovered over the link.

  Once I read it, it’d be real.

  Here goes nothing.

  I clicked the link and snarled when I saw William’s photo appear at the top of the article. In it, he was wearing a nice shirt and a fake ass smile. I’d never understand how I didn’t see it before—how he’d just been using me. Maybe it was because I always tried to see the good in people. After taking a deep breath, I scrolled down the page.

  My blood boiled when I started reading.

  Sacking the Quarterback

  By William Deckard

  No other position in American football is as glamorous as the quarterback. When it comes to sacking these players, there’re rules that have to be followed. No hitting in the head—what about rubbing it? No hitting too low—I’d say middle way down is perfect. And no intentional grounding—and, boy, let me tell you he sure knows how to ground a man.

  Little did I know that in order to sack Corbin Taylor all I needed was a flirty smile and twenty minutes in an upstairs closet where he showed me other positons he excelled in.

  I had to stop reading because I nearly threw my phone against the wall. Once I’d composed myself enough, I continued reading and became angrier by the second.

  William went on to talk about how I’d insisted on keeping him a secret, but then he laid out all of our intimate details right there on the page—even going so far as to describe how rough I was in bed. He talked about our sex life without actually going in
to graphic detail, but the way he described it left little to the imagination.

  At the bottom of the article was a picture he’d sneakily taken of us when I’d been kissing his neck. I had no idea when he’d taken it, but we were both shirtless and our messy hair and glistening skin was telling of what we’d been doing moments before the picture was taken.

  I was embarrassed, appalled, and livid.

  And knowing that Hunter had seen it?

  I barely made it to the bathroom in time before I puked, which was more of a dry heave because all I had in my stomach was a little bit of coffee. Tears stung my eyes after I was done, and all I could think about was how upset Hunter must be after reading all of that crap—and after seeing that damn photo.

  I couldn’t believe William had stooped so low and betrayed my trust like he had.

  It all became too much.

  A sob tore through my throat as the tears became impossible to hold back, and I started crying harder than I had in a long time. Not since Grandpa Bill had died. I stayed in a pathetic lump on the bathroom floor for minutes. Hours. I didn’t know. I’d tried to be strong for a while, but I didn’t have the energy for it right then.

  Eventually, I pulled myself together and showered, hoping the steam from the hot water would help soothe the newly tensed muscles in my neck and shoulders.

  I thought on how to go about this, wondering what would be the best course of action. Going on a talk show or something as outrageous as that was definitely not in the cards for me. I didn’t want all of that attention for something so personal.

  Clean and with a newfound determination, I pulled on a pair of sweats before leaving the bathroom. I found my phone and dialed Jen’s number.