Laura Monster Crusher

by Wesley King

  “What does the Monster Crusher even do?” I paused. “Okay, stupid question. But really. What difference does one person make? Why do you need one so badly?”

  Eldon suddenly drew his gleaming sword from the sheath and used it to point at the nearest stuffed monster, which looked like some sort of enormous coiled serpent.

  “There are three kinds of monsters,” he said. “Wild, subservient, and leaders. Wild monsters are dangerous, but they are exactly that…wild. They are animals, and of little use to either side. Wolf hawks, sea creatures, walkers, spiders—”

  “Spiders?” I cut in nervously.

  He raised an eyebrow. “You don’t like spiders? Then you’ll hate the ones below the ground. They’re about two metres wide and like to prey on humans.”

  Ignoring my terrified expression, he continued, pointing at another stuffed monster that I recognized as a wiry goblin, though it was covered in stabs and tears.

  “Subservient monsters are the most common in the Under Earth: goblins, ogres, and imps. They’re not overly bright, but they’re smart enough to take orders. They’re also vicious, violent, and extremely dangerous. But all subservient monsters have one important weakness: kill their leader and they will flee, no matter what. Sometimes that’s just the biggest goblin, ogre, or imp. But when there’s a large group, there is always a true leader. And that is where you really come in.”

  “I’m confused,” I said.

  Eldon started walking toward the other side of the courtyard, pointing his sword again, this time at a much bigger creature with a patch of black straw stuck to its head. A troll. The other warriors watched in silence, barely moving.

  “The last type are leaders. Those are the ones you should fear. There are only three kinds: trolls, giants, and dragons. Thankfully there have been no giants or dragons in a hundred years, but trolls are bad enough. They are clever, evil, and seem to be getting larger. There are rumours that a new troll king has taken power not far from Derwin. I suspect he is the one who sent those monsters to watch your house. You see, the Monster Crusher must kill all monsters and keep the tunnels secure. But they have one job in particular: kill the leaders. So you, Laura Ledwick, have one main job to prepare for: to kill the troll king. Do that and you buy us all some time.”

  Oh, perfect, I thought. I shook my head, incredulous that he was even talking about this. I looked down at my protruding stomach and lifted my hands, frowning.

  “But I’m not a warrior—”

  “Not yet,” Eldon agreed calmly. “But I will do everything I can to make you one. You will return every night to conduct training—”

  “I can’t do that,” I objected. “I have school. I kind of need to sleep at some point.”

  “Take naps,” Eldon said.

  “But—”

  “The monsters are on the move, Laura. That’s why the house has chosen another Monster Crusher.”

  “I can’t—”

  “If you don’t, Riverfield will be exposed to the monsters. Your family and everyone you know will be in danger.”

  I hesitated, looking around at the warriors. “What would I have to do?”

  “It’s very simple: learn how to crush monsters.”

  Eldon suddenly walked past me, heading for the obstacle course.

  “And we start now.”

  Chapter Eleven

  I followed him to the start of the strange obstacle course that was laid out across the courtyard. My mind was still reeling. There was no way this could all be real. And yet there was a castle looming over me, a group of strange warrior people watching my every move, and some sort of fake sun creating daylight underground. It was tough to argue.

  “The Monster Crusher must possess a few virtues,” Eldon explained. “Strength, courage, and a sharp mind. Monster crushing isn’t just bashing things in with a hammer. It’s strategy. It’s a mental battle against the monsters. And it’s facing your fears.”

  He stopped and looked out over the various obstacles.

  “What are you afraid of, Laura?”

  I thought about that for a moment. I was going to say spiders, but that wasn’t really the only thing. I was afraid of evil pretty girls and losing my brother and seeing myself in the mirror every morning. So I just shrugged and looked at the ground.

  “Lots.”

  I thought Eldon might be mad, but he just nodded.

  “Good answer. You will have to face some tests before you earn the Iron Hammer. We don’t risk them on just anyone. We have lost a few in the past with Monster Crushers who weren’t ready. So we begin here.”

  I looked out over the obstacle course, feeling my stomach tighten. I didn’t usually do well with physical exercise. Not anymore, anyway. “What is it?”

  “We call it the Warrior’s Way,” he explained. “It measures your readiness to fight monsters. It tests your speed, your agility, your strength, and most importantly, your weapons skills. Monster Crushers and Swords have trained on the Warrior’s Way for three hundred years.”

  I nervously checked out the course, sweat already beading on my forehead.

  Eldon gestured to the first obstacle—a row of ten logs that had been laid out like train tracks, though each stood half a metre off the ground. It would be tough just getting over them, never mind with any speed.

  “You will proceed clockwise through the obstacle course,” he said, slowly walking forward. “The row of logs first—a test of agility and speed. From there you will move through each obstacle, always remembering to kill the monsters along the way. If any survive your attack, then you fail. There will be weapons laid out for your usage.”

  The other warriors had formed a loose ring around the course, watching with folded arms and very skeptical expressions.

  “So I just…run through it?” I asked, wringing my hands together.

  “That’s it,” Eldon replied, sounding dubious himself. “We will use it a lot for your training.” He glanced at me. “I imagine you don’t do much…fighting.”

  I snorted. “Or running, walking…moving.”

  He sighed. “A true Monster Crusher can do this course in less than two minutes, slaying the monsters on the way with perfect killing blows. If you do it in five minutes today, I will be happy.”

  I turned to the first obstacle, feeling my skin tingle with nerves. I didn’t want to do it, especially in front of a crowd, but I didn’t seem to have much choice. I figured I should at least give it a try. Maybe I was a warrior. I had never actually tried to be one.

  “Are you ready?” Eldon asked quietly.

  I paused. “I guess.”

  “Begin!”

  It was bad. Like terrible. The only sport I ever played growing up was softball, which, like I said, I was actually really, really good at it. I was the best hitter in the state—better than any boy my age. I hit my first home run when I was eight years old, which isn’t even supposed to happen in girls’ softball. I remember the field going dead silent as that ball sailed over the fence. I think my coach fell off the bench.

  I quit when I was eleven though. It’s going to sound stupid, but I got sick of the snickers as I rounded the bases. I got sick of looking at myself in that uniform knowing I was the biggest girl out there. I got sick of the boys making jokes on the bleachers. My dad was devastated when I gave it up. My coach too. But I just wanted to hide. I didn’t like people watching me.

  Well, so much for that.

  The first part was to jump over those ten pesky logs. I tripped on the first one. I tried to run over it and just didn’t get my right leg high enough. My sneaker hit the log with a painful thud and I toppled forward, pitching over the next one and hitting the cobblestone ground very hard. My whole body throbbed with pain, especially my toe.

  I heard mumbled laughs echo around the courtyard. I already wanted to quit. To get up and storm out of there and go home. But I thought back to the boys on the bleachers, laughing at me while I ran the bases. I thought back to Portia Carson.

&n
bsp; No. I was going to finish this stupid course.

  My cheeks were burning as I pushed myself up again. I barely managed to step over the rest of the logs, moving very slowly and carefully. The next section was five wooden barriers to roll under, and I almost fell again as I gingerly ducked under them, moving even more slowly. At one point I was supposed to swing on some ropes over a wooden frame filled with water. I just walked around it, ignoring Eldon’s annoyed shouts.

  The fake monsters were worse. I couldn’t even string an arrow. When I finally did, it flopped out a metre in front of me and clattered along the stones. I stabbed a fake ogre with a sword and got the blade stuck in the coarse wool fabric. After failing to pull it out, I just moved on, feeling the humiliation build. I wanted to cry, but the sweat was stinging my eyes, and I was too busy squinting against the salty burn. I just kept moving. I managed to push a large cart over the red line painted on the stones pretty fast, but I knocked over most of the spears during the agility part. They just kept falling one after another. Hitting my hips. My waist. My thighs. My fat arms. My entire fat, bulky body.

  When I finally got back to Eldon, the laughter wasn’t mumbled anymore. The only one who wasn’t laughing was the redhead, who was looking at me scornfully.

  Well, her and Eldon. He just stared at me for a long, awkward minute while I clutched my sides and doubled over, sweat pouring out onto the ground.

  “Ten minutes…the longest I have ever seen in two decades of training. That’s enough for today,” he said, barely hiding his disgust. “You can go home.”

  The warriors immediately returned to their training, leaving me standing there alone, grasping my thighs. I knew it.

  Someone like me could never be the Monster Crusher.

  I was just slinking back through the gate, completely humiliated, when I heard someone fall into step beside me.

  “You forgot the guide,” Eldon said quietly.

  I looked back at him. “Give it to someone else.”

  “There is no one else.”

  “I can’t do it,” I said, feeling my voice cracking. “Weren’t you watching?”

  He walked toward me, the book in one outstretched hand.

  “You have to,” he replied calmly. “The house chose you—”

  “I don’t care,” I cut in. “I’m sure it will pick someone else.”

  Eldon just held the book out, and I reluctantly took it. He looked at me for a moment, his hard blue eyes softening just a little.

  “I wasn’t happy when I saw you. Nor with what I saw today. But a few months ago there were no monsters anywhere near the surface. Now they are watching your house.”

  He looked off toward the distant cavern walls.

  “Something has changed, Laura. The monsters have purpose. They have direction. You don’t look like a Monster Crusher, I agree. But we will just have to hope you can act like one. I know you don’t plan on coming back. I can’t say I blame you. But I can tell you this with certainty, Laura: if you don’t come back, the monsters will come to you.”

  “So let me tell people in my world to get ready—”

  “That I cannot allow,” Eldon said, shaking his head. “No one in your world may know about the Under Earth. The Brotherhood were very clear in their instructions.”

  “Why?”

  “My people have survived thousands of years apart from the surface humans, treasuring our way of life. If your people found out about all this, they would harvest the Under Earth for everything it’s worth. They are already doing that now. No. We want to keep our world a secret.” He met my eyes. “By whatever means necessary.”

  I sensed the implied threat in his tone. If I told anyone, they would be in danger. And so would I.

  “I sincerely doubt the monsters could conquer the surface—”

  “They multiply very quickly,” Eldon said. “And they grow to adulthood within a year. And remember this: they didn’t always have swords and bows and arrows. They stole those from us.” He grabbed my arm. “You must be ready to fight.”

  Eldon held my gaze for a moment, and then he walked back into the courtyard.

  I watched him for a moment, and then hurried all the way back to the elevator, giving Porton a quick nod before I stepped inside and pulled the lever, racing back toward the surface.

  When I finally lay down in bed that night—after peeking out my window and seeing no yellow eyes—I thought about the look on the warriors’ faces. It was the same look Portia Carson had given me every morning for six years. The one the girls on my softball team gave me when I rounded the bases. The one I gave myself in the mirror some nights after a particularly bad day at school.

  The one that said, “You’re just a pathetic fat girl.”

  I didn’t want to go back. I was tired of that look. But once again, I had a feeling that Eldon was telling the truth. Like it or not, I had to try.

  I flicked on my light and rolled over, opening The Complete Guide to Monster Crushing. I fell asleep with the lights on, my cheek pressed against the dusty old pages.

  Chapter Twelve

  I had a lot of alone time at school the next day, and I used it to sit on the portable steps and read more of the guide. Shal still wasn’t speaking to me, and she had walked right by me that morning with Mia before the first bell. It stung, but there wasn’t much I could do. It was hard to apologize when she wouldn’t even come near me.

  I figured I’d at least use the alone time to do something productive. I still wasn’t sure I wanted to go back to Derwin, but I did want to read more about the other Monster Crushers. Specifically what had happened to them. So I sat there on the cold steps during first recess and read the end of each section in the Great Monster Crushers. Each ending had been written by the following Monster Crusher. It wasn’t good news.

  Daniel the Dragon Killer was killed when he chased a retreating army of goblins into the Dead Mountains. He was ambushed there and downed with arrows.

  Gregory the Giant’s Bane was ironically killed by a giant (this was after he killed Ogg the Terrible and got his name).

  Thomas the Goblin Terror was killed by a giant spider in the Shadow Tunnels. He walked into the nest while searching for Bandar.

  I closed the book, grimacing. This didn’t seem like a job I wanted, never mind if I could actually do it. But on the way to school that morning I’d heard something on the radio that was very, very concerning. A hiker was missing from Riverfield. Apparently he’d been off in the woods that bordered the town last night and hadn’t come home.

  I turned the radio up and listened carefully until the report finished.

  “That’s comforting,” Tom said from the back seat.

  I glanced at my mom.

  “I’m sure he’ll turn up soon,” she said, though she looked perturbed.

  I didn’t say anything, but I was definitely wondering if something with bright-yellow eyes had found the missing hiker. I wanted to at least tell Tom and my parents to stay out of the backyard, but I knew I couldn’t explain why.

  I just had to hope Eldon and the Swords were keeping watch around my house.

  As I sat on the steps thinking about the missing hiker, I glanced at Shal and Mia talking in our usual spot in the far corner of the yard. Shal was picking grass and Mia was sitting beside her cross-legged, probably listening to her talk about Carl’s haircut. I wished I was sitting over there with them. At least it would have been a distraction from everything else that was going on.

  As it turned out, Shal might have been talking about me this time, because she glanced over, saw me looking, and immediately flushed and turned away. Mia followed her gaze and gave me a shy little wave and smile. I returned it and went back to my book.

  I hoped Shal would want to be friends again soon. I could really use some.

  I ate lunch alone as well. Shal and Mia were sitting and chatting at Shal’s desk, so I was stuck eating my bologna sandwich by myself and listening to Allison and the other girls gossip behind me. The
y were still leaving me alone, so I guess I couldn’t complain.

  Apparently I wasn’t worth the effort. That was fine by me.

  I did sneak a few glances at Liam while I ate. He was sitting with Paul and Steve, of course, but they didn’t play their card game inside while eating lunch. They just talked quietly and laughed, making sure not to attract too much attention from the other boys. Steve was thin and wiry like Liam, with messy blond hair and a lot of acne. Paul was stockier, with closely cropped brown hair and an endless supply of striped golf shirts.

  I watched as Liam snickered at something and adjusted the thick black glasses that sat perched on his freckled, pointy nose. He glanced over at me, and I quickly went back to my sandwich, feeling my stomach knot and twist. Better to be alone, I decided.

  You can’t get hurt that way.

  So I just kept to myself the rest of the day, reading the guide and wondering what would happen if an ogre wandered into Riverfield. I think I would run the other way.

  When the final bell went, I packed up my pencil case and books into my backpack. We didn’t have any homework tonight, so I could leave the textbooks at school. That was always a nice feeling.

  I actually quite liked Ms. Haddock—she was very enthusiastic and excitable, though she was oblivious to all the gossip and teasing and bullying happening in the class. I think she was too nice to believe her students would do such things. I waved goodbye to her and started for the hall, lugging my bag along with me.

  Liam’s locker was on the way to mine, and I snuck a quick glance at him packing his books away as I hurried by. Naturally he looked up right at that moment, and I felt my cheeks flush pink. Shooting him a very awkward smile, I quickly walked on, looking away.

  “Settling in?” he asked.

  I paused and turned back. I’d been caught.

  “I guess,” I said. “Always takes awhile.”

  “I’ve been here my whole life, and I’m still not settled in,” he replied, smirking.

  “That’s comforting.”

  He laughed. “Sorry. Seems like you made some friends, at least.”