Falling Hard

by Sandy Sullivan

  “That’s cool.” She bounced on her toes in excitement. “I’m so thrilled to meet you. I wish I had something to have you autograph.”

  “Can we talk about this later? Isn’t there something you need to be doing for him?”

  She waved her hand in dismissal. “No. We’ve already done everything for him this morning we can do. It’s a waiting game now.”

  “Oh.”

  “You won’t be able to stay much longer. The rule is five minutes per hour, so you’ll have to go soon.”

  He continued to caress Curt’s hand, thrilled when Curt moved a finger in response. “He moved his fingers!”

  “Yes. He’s been doing that most of the night, and moving his feet too, which is a good sign, although we won’t know the extent of any weakness for a bit.”

  “Thank you, God.”

  “Things are looking pretty good. If he’d regain consciousness, it would be even better, but as I said, we expect him to by this afternoon.” She glanced at the clock on the wall. “I’m sorry, but you’ll have to leave now. You can come back in an hour.”

  “I will. I have to let the riders association know what happened and that he won’t be riding for the rest of the finals.”

  “Oh, that’s right! The finals are in town. How cool is that?”

  “I will be back.”

  “Right. Good. See you then!”

  Levi walked out of the double doors keeping the ICU separate from the rest of the hospital, and down the hall toward the elevator. He had some things to do today and time was wasting.

  That afternoon, Levi found himself getting ready to ride. He had one round to do this afternoon in the finals and, by damn, he planned to make this count for Curt.

  It sucked not having his spot man at his shoulder when his turn came up, but he planned to ride for the full eight seconds, get a fantastic score and move up in the standings. Winning the world championship had become his goal at the beginning of this year, now it was his soul focus. He would do anything for the title, the buckle, and the picture on the wall.

  After his ride, he pumped his fists in the air. It felt good, looked good, and he just knew he’d scored well. The numbers flashed on the screen. Ninety-two points. “Yes!” He pressed his fingers to his lips, blowing a kiss to the crowd as they cheered with a roar. That score put him in first place for the round and fifth overall in the standings. He had three more rides to go before he could count his chickens, but he had a shot at the World Championship title if he continued to ride this well.

  He headed for the locker room to check his phone. He’d been hoping for an update from the nurse at the hospital all afternoon since he hadn’t been able to get back to check on Curt since this morning. Circuit functions had kept him busy and everyone wanted to know what was up with his riding partner. When he reached into his bag, he noticed the phone blinking. He pulled up the messages and listened. Curt was awake, although there were no further updates.

  Unfortunately, now that he was in first place, he couldn’t leave the event until everyone had ridden. Besides, he wanted to watch to see how his standings were at the end of the night. The best riders on the circuit were up after him and they were higher in the standings, which meant if they rode their bulls to the end, he would probably stay in fifth. He was okay with that for tonight.

  By the time everyone had ridden, he was now in fourth place. One of the final riders for the evening got bucked off his bull, dropping him into fifth and moving Levi up one notch.

  The best thing was he’d won the round with his score of ninety-two. When he went out to accept the congratulations of the circuit and the fans, he had to tell them, this round was for Curt.

  The minute he could get away, he rushed back to the hospital. When he walked into Curt’s room, he was sitting up in bed watching television.

  “How are you feeling?”

  “Like, um, I was, um, hit by a, um, bus.”

  “I don’t think that guy was that big, but yeah, you took a good shot. Did the doctors come in to talk to you?”

  Curt shrugged.

  “Are you having trouble with words?”

  Curt nodded. “I can’t—what’s the word—um. Remember.”

  “I know. It’s okay.”

  “No!”

  “Yes, it’ll be fine.”

  “No!”

  “Don’t get your blood pressure up. I know you’re having a hard time forming words and getting out what you want to say, but you are doing a hundred percent better than you were yesterday.” Levi took the chair beside the bed.

  “I saw.”

  “What? The riding today?”

  “Yes. You won.”

  “Yeah. Mine was ninety-two points.”

  “Cool!” Curt lifted his hand to fist bump Levi, but he couldn’t hold it up very well.

  “I’m now fourth in the standings.”

  Curt smiled. The left half of his face drooped some.

  Wow. This is worse than I thought. “From what I understand, you’ve had a stroke from a ruptured vessel in your head. They think there might have been a weak one after the shot you took a couple of months back, and the guy hitting you at the bar made it rupture. They said you might have some problems with speech, remembering, walking, and stuff like that for a while, but now that you are awake they can see exactly what’s up and work with you.”

  “Levi?” A frown drew down the inside edges of his eyebrows as he refused to meet Levi’s gaze. His hands were fisted in the bed sheets like he was afraid of something.

  “Yeah?”

  “Don’t leave me.”

  He grabbed Curt’s hand, smoothing out the fist until it relaxed in his grasp. “Leave you? I’m not leaving you.”

  “I’m afraid.”

  “I know.”

  “I, um. Can’t ride.”

  “No, you won’t be able to ride for a while, but we’ll work on that. We have bulls at the house you can get on and everything. You’ll get back in the arena, just not this year.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “There isn’t anything to be sorry about.”

  “I.” Curt pulled Levi’s hand up to his mouth. “Love you.”

  “What did you say?”

  “I love you.”

  “You do?”

  Curt nodded. “I’m afraid for us.”

  “Don’t be. We’ll be fine because I love you too. I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

  “Sure?”

  “Yes. After the finals, we’ll go home, back to my place. You can recuperate and get better. We’ll have a few months off before next year starts and we’ll go from there. You’ll be back in the arena in no time.”

  “Win this year.”

  “I’m going to do my best, buddy. For you.”

  “No, for you.”

  Later that evening, they moved Curt to a regular room out in the hospital where Levi could stay as long as he wanted. They spent hours watching television, holding hands, being together, and talking as best they could with Curt’s limited ability. Levi knew they would be okay, everything would be okay now that he knew Curt loved him.

  “I need to call your parents.”

  “No!”

  Curt grasped Levi’s hand in a hard hold. His grip seemed a lot stronger than it was earlier. “I talked to your mom the other day when you were unconscious. I need to give them an update.”

  “No, don’t call them.”

  “I have to, Curt. They want to know.”

  “They don’t care about me.”

  “Yes, they do, they’re your parents.”

  “They don’t.”

  “It’ll be fine.”

  Curt seemed to want to say more, but held back. Levi wasn’t sure what the issue was with Curt’s parents, but he obviously felt they were standoffish or something. Levi didn’t know the whole story, but someday he would get Curt to tell him.

  “Okay.”

  Levi pulled out Curt’s phone and dialed. His mother answered
after a couple of rings.

  “Hi, Mrs. Walsh, this is Levi Bond again.”

  “Hi, Levi. How is Curt?”

  “He’s awake and doing much better, although there are some problems.”

  “What kind of problems?”

  “His speech is delayed. He is having trouble finding words. I think his arm is a little weak, but I won’t know until the doctor’s do an assessment on him to see what else.”

  “Oh my.”

  “They’ll be releasing him in a few days and I plan to take him home with me.”

  “Why? I don’t understand. He should come home to us so we can see to his needs.”

  “He wants to be with me at my place.” Levi switched the phone to his other ear as he got up and began to pace the room. He could feel Curt’s gaze on his back while he moved from the window to the bed. “Listen, the doctor just walked in. I’ll call you back as soon as I know something. Talk to you soon.” He hung up the phone quickly, unsure of what Curt wanted him to say to his mother. Did he want him to tell her they were in a relationship? He didn’t think it was his place to do that, but how would they explain his wanting to be at Levi’s place rather than going home?

  “Why did, um, you lie?”

  “I didn’t know how much they knew about us.”

  “Nothing.”

  “You haven’t told them?”

  “No. They wouldn’t, um, understand.”

  “They don’t know you are bi-sexual?”

  “No.”

  Levi took a seat in the chair again, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees as he contemplated his lover. “You can’t keep it a secret from them if we are planning a future together.”

  “I know.”

  “Then what do you want me to tell them is the reason you are staying with me instead of coming home?

  Curt shrugged just as the doctor came into the room.

  “How are you feeling this evening, Mr. Walsh?”

  “Good.”

  Levi frowned in Curt’s direction. Obviously Curt wasn’t going to tell the doctor what he needed to know about his condition. Well to hell with that. I’ll tell him. “He’s been having trouble finding the right words when he wants to speak, and I think he has a little weakness in his arm.”

  “Let me take a look.” After several tests including strength, walking, repeating phrases the doctor said, and ability to problem solve, the doctor gave them the news. “You’re having trouble speaking, you do have a little weakness to your right arm and hand, but your ability to walk has been maintained. We will have a swallow evaluation done on you to make sure you aren’t having any problems with that, but overall, you will probably be able to do rehabilitation and regain the strength in your hand and arm. As for the speech patterns, we’ll have to see, but you can work on that with a speech therapist too, after you’re released.”

  “When will that be?”

  “Probably day after tomorrow since he’s alert, awake, and can function to some degree. I will have physical therapy work with you tomorrow and the next day to teach you some exercises to do for your extremities to strengthen them until you can get home physical therapy started. Where will you be going?”

  “To my place in Mystique, Oklahoma.”

  “Okay. We will see what we can find to set that up before you all leave for home. Make sure to let the nurse know so she can give it to the case manager. They’ll get it ready for you before you leave Las Vegas.”

  “Will he be able to travel by car all right?”

  “Should be, but don’t push for long days of driving. Stop, rest, stretch, and relax.”

  “What about sex?” Curt asked, his words clear as day. Levi smiled as he looked down at his hands where they rested on his thighs.

  “Sex?” the doctor asked, as he looked back and forth between the two of them.

  “Can I have sex?”

  “Of course, if you’re careful. Everything should work fine since you don’t seem to have any deficits in your lower extremities, just your right hand and arm. No riding bulls for a while though. Get your strength back before you try doing that.”

  “All right. Thanks, Doctor.”

  “You’re welcome. I will see you tomorrow to check on you. Have the nurse call me if you need anything specific. Until then, rest. No running around the room, but you should get up and walk the halls. You need to make sure you don’t lose function in your legs by being in the bed the whole time you’re here.”

  “I will walk.”

  “Good and keep talking. It will help you form the words better and help the synapses in your brain to function beyond the damage that has occurred.”

  “All right. I will.”

  The doctor shook Curt’s hand and then Levi’s before he made his way to the door. “I want you out in the halls at least three times a day while you’re still here. So get up before you are ready for bed and walk.”

  “Yes, sir.”

  The doctor smiled. “See you tomorrow.”

  As the door slowly shut behind him, Levi turned to Curt, took his hand in the palm of his own and squeezed. “Now, what are we going to tell your parents?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “We can tell them the truth.”

  “Not, um, a good, um, idea.”

  “What do you suggest then?”

  Curt frowned as he picked the blanket beneath his fingers. Levi couldn’t tell what was going through his mind, but he knew he struggled with the rights words. “Don’t tell them anything.”

  “I have to tell them something, Curt. What reason do you have for going to my house rather than home? If they don’t know we are together, then it’s kind of odd since we’ve really only been roommates on the road for a few months.”

  “Tell her…” His face wrinkled in concentration.

  Levi let him pick his words carefully. This could mean their future or the end of their relationship if he didn’t stand up for them as a couple.

  “Tell her about us.”

  “Are you sure you don’t want to do that?” Levi asked even though relief washed through him.

  “No. I can’t. My words won’t come right.”

  “Do we want to do that in person maybe? I think that would be the better choice than on the phone, don’t you?”

  “Maybe.”

  “We’ll plan on going there before we go home then. After finals.”

  “Will you stay tonight here with me?”

  “I’d better not even though I would love to. Those chairs aren’t comfortable and I’m afraid it would kill my shoulder to be crunched in it before I ride tomorrow. I have two rides to do in the next round so I need to be on my game if I’m going to win.”

  “I know.”

  “Let me call her back and tell her we’ll be there before the middle of next week. We have to take the travel slow. I would imagine no more than six hours in the car at a time would be a good point to start with. We can adjust more or less as you tolerate it one way or the other.” Levi picked up the phone, found Curt’s parents number, and hit talk.

  “Curt?”

  “No, it’s Levi. Curt is having a really hard time finding the words to speak so he asked me to call you back.”

  “That’s okay, Levi. I’m glad you called.”

  “I wanted to let you know he’s doing better. The doctor said he has some speech problems they will work on and a little weakness to his right hand and arm, but he can walk okay, which is good. He will have some physical therapy while he’s here, be discharged in a couple of days, and as soon as finals are over, we’ll be heading your way. He wants to visit you and his father.”

  “Wonderful! I can’t wait to see him and again, thank you so much for being there for him. I know you two haven’t been friends very long, but you’ve been great for him. I’m so glad you two hooked up.”

  Levi smiled to himself at the inside joke of what hooked up meant to him and what it meant to her. “Me too, Mrs. Walsh. Listen, I can’t talk long. I hav
e to get back to the hotel and rest up for tomorrow’s round, but Curt’s thinking about you and I’m sure he’ll be glad to see you when we get there next week.” Curt made a face at him. “We will have to take the drive slow. The doctor suggested that so he could get out and stretch while we travel.”

  “Good. We’ll see you next week some time then.”

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  “Thank you again.”

  “Talk to you later.”

  “Goodbye.”

  “Bye for now.” He hung up the phone and put it back on the bedside table. “Are you going to tell me why you have a problem with your parents?”

  “They don’t support me. Never have.”

  “In what ways?”

  In broken sentences, Curt told Levi about growing up in a household where his parents didn’t seem to care if he was around or not. They never supported him doing rodeo rides in high school. He worked shoveling shit at a neighbor’s farm to pay for a horse and saddle so he could do roping events besides bull riding even though they had plenty of money to help him if they wanted to. His father never seemed to want to teach him anything about ranching, just shoving him away when he tried to help. His mother was too wrapped up in working her way up the corporate ladder to care about her son. They doted on his sister and look how she turned out, drug addicted, on welfare, didn’t know who the father of her kids were, and a leech in every sense of the word. “They didn’t want a son.”

  “I don’t believe that.”

  “They don’t come to events.”

  “So. Mine haven’t been to that many either. They have the ranch to run. They can’t always leave.”

  “Once, Levi, just once I would like for them to come.”

  “Have you told them that?”

  “No.”

  “Why not?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “Maybe if they knew how much it meant to you, they would have made more of an effort to come to one that was close. We usually do an event in Amarillo once a year.” He took Curt’s hand in his. “Maybe if you asked them to, they would.”

  “I have. They’re too busy.”

  “As young adults raising a family, most of the time parents are too busy feeding the children. It sounds like they wanted you to be self-sufficient growing up and then did a complete one-eighty with your sister. They might have been trying to figure out the best way to raise their children. You should give them a little bit of a break.”