Red Hot Bikers, Rock Stars and Bad Boys

by Cassia Leo

  Please come see me. I need to know what you’re thinking.

  His silence spoke volumes.

  ***

  EPILOGUE- ANA

  “It is a far, far better thing that I do now, than I have ever done. It is a far greater rest I go to now, than I have ever known,” Ana whispered, closing A Tale of Two Cities. “I am determined that you will get all the classics as long as I am here, or until they kick me out,” she joked.

  “Finn always did like to read,” Jonathan revealed, his gaze still fixed on the movie that was playing.

  “Really?” Ana was surprised, but pleasantly so. She smiled to herself. Maybe we do have a few things in common.

  Finn was still wearing the two crosses around his neck. The nurse wanted to remove them, but Ana insisted they remain. They weren’t hurting anything and she thought maybe they even helped him.

  “I know you said he probably doesn’t know I am doing this, but I can’t help myself. I can’t sit around and do nothing,” Ana explained. She stopped herself, remembering that Jonathan was one of the few people she didn’t have to explain herself to. She was so used to having to rationalize everything with others that it was habit.

  “He’s very lucky,” Jon affirmed, but there was something in his voice she couldn’t quite detect. It had been there a lot since she decided to stay, and she wished he were an easier read. Or maybe I really don’t want to know.

  “I’m doing no more than what he has already done for me,” Ana insisted.

  “You love him,” Jon stated. It wasn’t a question, but he was watching her closely for her response.

  “I don’t know what it feels like to be in love,” she admitted, a shock even to her.

  Her response surprised him. “I don’t believe that.”

  “Don’t you?” She met his gaze squarely. “I’m not the only one.”

  Jon held her stare for a moment, and then dropped his eyes. “People like us... maybe we aren’t meant for that.”

  “What a lovely sentiment.” She laughed it off, but the comment hit close to home. Had that not always been in the back of her mind? She was afraid of sharing herself. Afraid that the other person would expect more from her than she could give. She didn’t know how to change, and realized, as she grew older she didn’t want to. Not if that was the price of belonging to someone. She would be content belonging to herself.

  Finn was such a nice person, and the extent of their connection had been born from unfortunate circumstances. Ana knew he loved her, but why? Did he see the darkness inside her? Did he understand her craving to be alone more than with others? Did he understand the sides of her she kept closest to her chest? Maybe he did; he did live with Jonathan, after all. But was that what he wanted from life? To escape one for another?

  Am I trying to sabotage this, before it even gets off the ground? Am I trying to convince myself this will end up the same as the others, so I can walk away without feeling remorse? What is it I am doing here? Why did I stay?

  Jonathan reached out and took her hand in his, a gesture that both surprised her and brought more comfort than she would have guessed. He didn’t say anything, and neither did she, both enjoying quiet understanding.

  Then, suddenly, his hand felt like poison. Ana exhaled, closed her eyes, and realized she did know the reason she stayed, and had known all along.

  Jon is my darkness. To accept him is to accept that part of myself, and if I do that, I’ll never be rid of it. He would accept the things about me I desperately want to change. I would slip deeper and deeper into the dark recesses of my own mind, and so would Jon.

  But Finn could accept her darkness without allowing it to grow further out of control. He could live with who she was, because he had lived with someone like her, his whole life. He knew what to expect and would help her find a way to come to terms with it, and, maybe… hopefully… change. Be whole.

  With Finn, she could be herself, but she could also be free.

  Finn was finally ready to come home. He would need some additional care, but Jon was capable and Ana would help. She would stay by his side forever, if that was what it took. “I’ve never been so happy to see a face in my entire life,” Finn had said when he awoke, and found her at his side.

  “I know the feeling,” Ana shared and kissed his hand. She wanted to do more, but Jon was nearby and she felt him wince at even the small amount of shared affection. This is going to be a complicated arrangement, but we will have to figure it out.

  Ana packed up Finn’s things while Jon helped him complete the necessary paperwork. As she shoved his clothes into the white plastic bag, she felt a presence behind her. She turned and Nicolas stood before her.

  Her heart caught and she flew into his arms, burying her face into his chest. “Thank god,” she whispered. “I’ve missed you so much.”

  Nicolas didn’t embrace her back, instead remaining rigid, his arms held stiffly at his sides. Stubbornly slow to accept his indifference, she finally pulled back. The expression on his face pierced her heart.

  “I came to say goodbye,” Nicolas said. His voice was flat and void of emotion. His eyes were cold and distant. He took another step back, putting more space between them.

  “I guess my father told you I’m staying then,” she said. Her heart was racing. She knew this wasn’t what he meant with his goodbye, but she couldn’t bear to hear what she knew was coming next.

  “I don’t give a fuck what you do anymore, to be honest, Ana.”

  The tears welled in her eyes, threatening to spill. This was real... it was happening. This was her punishment. Not what she expected, but it was no less deserved.

  Ana felt her sacred control slipping away. “Nicolas, I didn’t do it to hurt you—”

  “Fuck you. You might not have done it to hurt me, but you knew it would and did it anyway.” He laughed brutally, running his shaking hands through his dark hair. “I’ve always bent over backwards to accommodate your feelings and I’ve never asked you to do anything for me. Ever. But if I expected loyalty from anyone, it was you.”

  “This had nothing to do with you!” She moved toward him but he pulled back, flinching.

  “It had EVERYTHING to do with me!” Nicolas thundered.

  His words hung heavy between them, as well as all the other ones left unspoken. The beeping sound from the monitor in the next room pulsed in Ana's ears.

  “Have you asked yourself why you're so hurt by this?” she asked quietly. She realized she did not want his answer, though she continued blindly anyway. “I’ve wronged your sister, and in a way, I have wronged Oz, by being an equal party to hurting Adrienne. I've certainly wronged myself through my terrible judgment. But you're the only one in this whole situation that was not wronged, yet here you are acting as if I've betrayed you!”

  Nicolas took a deep breath. “You could have fucked anyone in the world, Ana, and I’d have sat by your side and laughed and cheered you on. I knew those assholes never meant anything to you. But you had feelings for Oz. Hell, maybe you still love him, after all these years? Please, don’t tell me, because I really don’t fucking want to know. Were you pushing me to see what it would take to break me?”

  “It wasn’t like that,” Ana said, the tears flowing now, streaming down her cheeks. She didn’t have the energy to fight. “I’ve made some really messed-up decisions, but this had nothing to do with you.”

  He laughed, and it was a cruel, cold sound that pierced her heart. “We’re all fucked-up. That is such a bullshit excuse for doing fucked-up shit. Both of you seem to think you can do whatever the fuck you want and it will be okay because you’re just really messed-up and obviously that makes it all right!”

  “I didn’t say it was okay,” she cried. “But why are you so hurt by this? Have you stopped to ask yourself why you're so angry when in fact I've done absolutely nothing to YOU?”

  “You are not going to play dumb with me,” Nicolas said, through gritted teeth. “Damn you, Ana, we have been close for too
long for you to pretend you don't fucking know.”

  Ana didn't want to think about what his words meant. She wanted to feel his comforting arms around her, longing for everything to be okay again. In her mind’s eye, suddenly she saw him in that pink shirt he wore to her graduation; his goofy, warm smile. I will always be here for you, Muffins.

  She fell at his feet then, tugging at his hands. She did not care how desperate or ridiculous she looked. “I love you! I am so sorry, I never, ever meant to hurt you…”

  Nicolas pushed her off, and she tumbled back. “It took me years to realize this, but you don’t give a shit about me. You ruined my only friendship that ever mattered, and you…” His voice trailed off. He drew a deep, stabilizing breath. “You’re the most self-absorbed piece of work I have ever met, and I deserve so much better.”

  Ana was on her knees, the tears streaming down her face, looking up at him. “You know that isn’t true. You know I would do anything for you.”

  “Get up off the ground, you look pathetic,” he spat, and turned away, disgusted.

  She pulled herself up in shame, moving to stand in front of him again. Searched his face for any signs of warmth, of the old Nicolas. She found none.

  “I want you and Oz both to leave me alone. Don’t call me wanting to talk about whatever ridiculous shit is bothering you at the moment. Don't drop by. Don't invite me to family reunions.” Nicolas moved closer then, and she cringed, reflexively. He laughed. “How long have you known me? Would I really hit you? Fuck’s sake, Ana.”

  “I didn’t think—” she started to say, and then stopped herself. He didn’t want to hear her whimpering and her pandering. This would be her last chance to say the things she wanted to say. She should not waste it. “I can't say I understand your feelings, or your hatred. You are wrong when you say I never cared about you. I’ve always needed you. And I’ve always loved you.” She reached her hand out and touched his arm. He looked at her hand the way he might look at a mosquito that had the audacity to land on him.

  “Whether you do or not is irrelevant,” he snapped. She dropped her hand. “I almost hate myself as much as I hate you. It’s my own fault for loving you so fucking much. It’s not natural.”

  Oh, Nic, why did you have to say it out loud? Why couldn’t we have gone our whole lives without addressing our feelings? Now they can never be unsaid.

  “Please don’t go,” she croaked, but the plea was weak. There was nothing she could say, after that admission. I love you, but not like that. I need you, but not the way you need me.

  For a moment his eyes were filled with the warmth she had known from him her whole life. But as quickly, the tenderness was gone. “I can’t. And I won’t.”

  Nicolas turned and left without another word.

  She sat on the hospital bed and sobbed, emotions flooding her. The tears came with short, choking sobs, and she gripped the bed frame, struggling for breath. The control she had always held so dearly was escaping her entirely, and was replaced by the first real emotional pain she had ever known.

  You are not going to play dumb with me. Those words had driven a wedge between them that was bigger than any imagined betrayal. It’s my own fault for loving you so fucking much. It’s not natural.

  Ana would not dwell on his words. She could spend hours dissecting their meaning, but the truth would leave her emptier than she felt watching him walk away, and out of her life. And if she was honest with herself, she had always known the truth.

  How much of her life had she given up, in order to live in the comfort of his unconditional love? How many experiences? How many relationships? It is not your fault, Nic. It is mine. I chose this path because it was easier to be loved by the wrong person than to be hurt by the right one.

  A ray of sunlight splashed through the dark storm clouds, penetrating the grimy window to light up the floor near her feet. The light danced and sparkled on the cold linoleum, as the clouds moved across the sky.

  She stared at the dancing patterns for a while, focusing on the details. Her tongue found the roof of her mouth, and her toes curled tightly in her tennis shoes. Breathe, Muffins.

  For the first time in my life, I am entirely on my own. Ana never realized how much she relied on Nicolas to keep her stable, and secure. How she had taken for granted not only his presence, but his unwavering support and loyalty.

  I never want to rely on another person that much ever again.

  Ana continued to watch the light flood the room, and as the clouds left the sky, so they also left her thoughts. I am my father’s daughter.

  Slowly, her control was restored. Her breathing calmed, her heart stopped skipping, and the heat in her face subsided.

  Jon popped his head into the door. He pushed Finn in a wheelchair, and his passenger was smiling at her. His eyes were filled with love, but also with understanding and acceptance.

  “You ready?” Jon asked.

  I am ready to leave the past behind and start a new life. To make up for my mistakes by giving myself, selflessly.

  In letting me go, Nicolas may have given me the greatest gift.

  Ana smiled. She took a deep breath, standing straighter, Finn’s bag of clothes tucked under one arm.

  Yes, she was ready.

  ***

  THE STORM AND THE DARKNESS was the prequel to The House of Crimson & Clover series. Dive into the secretive, ancient powerful world of the Deschanels and Sullivans in this bestselling Paranormal Southern Gothic saga that New York Times Bestselling Author Christopher Rice calls “modern gothic with fierce smarts.” EXCLUSIVE OFFER: For a free Crimson & Clover e-book of your choice, sign up for my newsletter.

  SHATTERED

  The House of Crimson & Clover Series Prequel

  The follow-up to THE STORM AND THE DARKNESS

  Think you know the story of Ana, Finn, and Jon? Guess again.

  See SHATTERED at:

  Kobo

  About Sarah M. Cradit

  Sarah is the USA Today Bestselling Author of the Paranormal Southern Gothic series, The House of Crimson & Clover, born of her combined passion for New Orleans, and the mysterious complexity of human nature. Her work has been described as rich, emotive, and highly dimensional.

  An unabashed geek, Sarah enjoys studying obscure subjects like the Plantagenet and Ptolemaic dynasties, and settling debates on provocative Tolkien topics such as why the Great Eagles are not Gandalf's personal taxi service. Passionate about travel, Sarah has visited over twenty countries collecting sparks of inspiration (though New Orleans is where her heart rests). She's a self-professed expert at crafting original songs to sing to her very patient pets, and a seasoned professional at finding ways to humiliate herself (bonus points if it happens in public). When at home in Oregon, her husband and best friend, James, is very kind about indulging her love of fast German cars and expensive lattes.

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  Table of Contents

  Red Hot Bikers, Rock Stars, and Bad Boys

  Forever Ours by Cassia Leo

  Resisting by Chelle Bliss

  Randomly Ever After by Julia Kent

  Stella & Dane by Deanna Roy

  Every Breath You Take by Blair Babylon

  Cold Fusion by Olivia Rigal

  The Storm and the Darkness by Sarah M. Cradit

  Rock Candy by Daizie Draper

  Wuther by V. J. Chambers

  Three Nights With A Rock Star by Amber Lin and Shari Slade

  Revik by JC Andrijeski

  Disclaimers and Copyright Notices

  ROCK CANDY

  by Daizie Draper

  ROCK CANDY

  by Daizie Draper

  ROCK CANDY © 2015

  Since my mom ditched me senior year six months after her wedding to chase her Hollywood dreams, I’ve been leeching off her now-deployed sergeant husband and his hot but cocky rock star son, Danny Zane. But now that I’m two months away from holding a P.R. degree and a
full-time job at the company where I interned this past summer, I can finally stop being their baggage and get out on my own. With my freelance jobs being random and Danny’s shelled-out money to me spent on a kid’s cancer benefit, I’m yanked back home for my last spring break. Danny’ll surely roadblock my intention to be a girl-gone-wild. He’s just annoying like that.

  While I’m home, his famous band Itchy Fringe is involved in a fatal DUI, and I’m just the chick to fix its shattered image. At least, that’s what I believe until I learn I was only hired early as a remote consultant and made head of the band’s reimaging team because it’s assumed I won’t fraternize with the client, which is against company policy and grounds for termination.

  Um, yeah. There’s that tiny little detail. Sparks are just beginning to fly between Danny and me. Fiery, electrifying, girly-bits-zapping sparks. Sure, giving in to passion would obliterate both of our lives, but … I don’t know if I can stay away or keep my hands off. Not only is he sexy as hell with dirty talk that could tempt nuns, I think … I think I might be falling in love with him.

  CHAPTER ONE

  Alexa

  Only one step in the door off of the kitchen and I get a scowl from Danny with a very growly, “What the hell are you doing here?”

  “Sheesh! It’s spring break! Nice welcome home, idiot.” Finally noticing him in his full domestic glory, I snickered. Much to my horror, the cocky rock god can be sexy at times when I’m smashed or bored or really needy and not concerned with whom, just when. He’s pretty jaw-dropping on stage too with his moans and twisted lyrics that are metaphorically and sometimes outright naughty. But any ounce of sexy he owned was hidden by a downright-laughable apron. He’s usually in tight-ass jeans and his go-to muscle-hugging t-shirts, so the switch-up to frill struck me as funny.