The Bear Shifter’s Desires

by Martha Woods

  And it was that thought that made him tear his eyes away from the phone on his mantlepiece, the one remaining lifeline that he had to his previous life, banishing the thoughts of calling and voicing his concern before they could blossom into something more. If they needed him, they would call him, both Frank and Helga knew that for a fact that he would pick up if that phone rang. But until then… until then he would make do with knowing that his clan was likely in good hands, and if they weren’t already working towards a new day then it was going to be no time at all until they were.

  He just had to have faith.

  Cracking his eyes open and looking up, he was dimly aware that he’d fallen asleep as the sunlight cracked through the window, making him raise a hand to cover his sensitive eyes, and lean forward. Cradling his head in his hands, he took a deep breath and centered himself before he looked over at the bed, Holly still laying on her side and curled up into herself, chest rising and falling with easy breaths in whatever dream it was that she was having.

  “Better not disturb her,” He said to himself, standing and walking towards the small kitchen through the doorway, setting the burner on his stove and placing a kettle of water on top to boil, preparing a cup of coffee while he waited for the water to heat. There were so many thoughts racing through his head about things that hadn’t seen the light of day in years, and he had to admit that it was all starting to play havoc with his emotions. He hadn’t even properly thought of his home in any way that wasn’t pure curiosity in… what must have been years at that point, and now here he was thinking about how it was gone, and he would never get the chance to see it rise to its former glory ever again. With the fires it was likely that forest authorities were going to be taking a close watch on it, replanting and rebuilding what had been lost, which meant that the days of their clan being able to live undisturbed were gone.

  Dimly he wondered if this would have happened if he’d stayed behind to take a closer hand in what was going on, but he decided soon enough that wasn’t really worth thinking about. What was done was done, there was no point second guessing, he just had to prepare himself for what was to come from now on, if anything actually was going to happen.

  The kettle started whistling, drawing him out of his thoughts and making him turn the burner off, picking up the water and finishing off his coffee, standing in the kitchen with the scent of coffee wafting into his nose, feeling so much more lost than he had been in all of his years of wandering through dead end town after dead end town. It was tempting to think about what Megan would do, before a shudder was answer enough of what that would be, and Jamie was likely to just stay where he was anyway, hopefully enjoying what life he’d managed to carve out for himself in all of this mess. He was only nineteen, he didn’t need to be thinking about what had already been left behind them.

  Before he could take his first sip, a sound that he’d never before considered he would actually hear made him pause with his cup at his lips, hand trembling and barely keeping his drink in the cup. The phone on his mantlepiece trilled with that melody that he’d picked so many years ago, forgotten for so long but now coming to him like a bitter memory, compelling him to cross the room with a quickness that he hadn’t felt necessary in months and flick it open, hoping that he was quick enough to not disturb Holly’s sleep right next to him.

  “Hello?” He asked after a few moments of silence, walking towards the door and stepping out into the cold, holding the phone to his ear to drown out the sound of the rushing wind, “Who is this?”

  “Shane…” Came a voice that he’d almost forgotten, sighing in relief at the sound of his answer, “It’s been a long time, how are you?”

  It took him a second to answer, and when he did he couldn’t place whatever his own voice was sounding like, whether it was angry, thankful, fearful or a combination of the three. “Orson. It’s… yeah it’s been a long time alright. Why are you calling?”

  “The home is gone Shane, everything burned down, camp evacuated, everyone’s going to have to move somewhere else, probably out into the city, and there’s nothing that they can do to change that.”

  “I heard, the fires are being covered by some local papers, but… look whatever it was that we said before we left, I know that you probably did all that you could to save the land…”

  “I’m the one that burned it down.”

  The confession, so simple and matter of fact, stunned him briefly as he tried to think of a way to answer. “You… but that can’t be right, you said that you were going to die for that forest, for what it was that we were trying to do there, why would you do that?”

  “Because it was going to kill everyone, bear, wolf, they were marching towards another war Shane.” Now Shane recognized that undertone of what he could hear in Orson’s voice. It was fear, he seemed… genuinely afraid. “Me and one of the wolves wanted to give everyone a chance at surviving, and to do that we burned all the crops to the ground and forced them to relocate elsewhere, somewhere they’ll be able to eat and live without worrying about freezing to death.”

  “Orson…” Shane said, aware more and more of what it was that both clans did to traitors, “What’s happening? Where are you?”

  “We had to go on the run, they were trying to kill us when we first started trying to stop them, but now that we’ve forced them out… they’re sending whoever they can after us now, and they’re not going to stop until they kill us. And… they’re going to try and kill all of you too, that’s why we had to stop the war before it started. The wolves were already sending people to find you, but now they’re probably working together with our clan, and when they find you they are not going to hesitate to kill you where you stand.”

  “But we’re a part of their clan!” He shouted, “We left, but that bond doesn’t just go away! If you explain your reasoning, if you make them understand-”

  “They’re not going to understand!” Orson shouted, “I killed one of them Shane, one of the senior members of our clan, the days of us belonging to them are long behind us now. I’ve already called the others, they know who’s going to be coming after them, but you’re the first one that we’ll be in a position to come and find, do you understand? So just… tell me where you are, and I’ll come and get you, ok?”

  “And then what?” He asked, “What are we going to do, even if you manage to find all of us again? Are we going to spend the rest of our lives on the run? Always with our heads looking over our shoulders?”

  “Shane listen, I know that this isn’t what either of us wanted, but I didn’t mean to-”

  “You fucked us! That’s what you did! You ruined things for us again! So no, I don’t want to hear whatever your plan is, and I don’t want to see you up here, if I do I’m not going to greet you as a friend, do you understand me?” He clenched his jaw tight, biting out through his teeth, “I don’t want you to call again.”

  “Shane, jus-”

  He disconnected the call, staring out at the snow that was starting to fall thickly and obscuring everything no more than twenty feet away from him. For the first time he was aware of just how isolated he was out here, and with an intimate knowledge of what could possibly be coming for him, there was only one thing that he could do in response.

  Shane leaned his head back, and roared up at the sky.

  Chapter 4

  There hadn’t been much time to explain to Holly just what had warranted the scream that had woken her up, but it was with a specific reluctance that heavily concerned her that he bundled them both into his car and drove her back into town, halfway through the winding roads of their journey before she finally spoke up and let said concern be known.

  “What happened Shane?” She asked, scratching at her arms and wondering if it could have been something she had done, “You seemed fine last night but… did something happen?”

  Shane took a second to realize that she was speaking to him, before his head snapped over to her for a brief second with a questioning rise of h
is eyebrows. “Nothing like that, just… got a call that I wasn’t really ready for, that’s all. It’s not your fault if that’s what you’re wondering, I’ve just been dealing with some things for a while.”

  “Ok… is there anything that I can do? Maybe you just need to talk about it?”

  “Not that simple I’m afraid,” He sighed, shrugging his shoulders, “Not sure that a kind ear to listen in is exactly what these problems need, but… thank you, for offering I mean.”

  Chancing a squeeze of his hand, Holly nodded and relaxed back into the seat, watching the trees passing them by as the early morning frost melted away in the sunlight. She knew more than anyone that privacy was something to be respected, and if he genuinely wanted help he would ask for it himself. Until then all she could do was let it be known that she was more than happy to lend a helping hand if he ever so desired, and that was about all that should have been done. Still though, looking at his knuckles white around the steering wheel, the nervous set of his shoulders, she couldn’t help but feel that this was something that could use her assistance.

  Time would tell if she was correct in thinking so.

  “Don’t be a stranger, ok?” She said, stepping out of the car outside the bar, “I know you want to handle it yourself but… I’ll be here if you need help, just remember that.”

  “You really live at the bar?” Shane asked, looking up at the second floor, “I might have to come by just to make sure that you’re actually feeding yourself properly.”

  “Oh ha ha funny man,” She groaned, rolling her eyes with a smile, “You think I just get all my sustenance out of peanut packets and shots of whiskey?”

  “Of course not, I assume that you spice things up with a pack of jerky every now and then too.” He grinned, stepping forward and placing his hand on her shoulder before pulling her in for a somewhat chaste hug. Even with how brief and still separate it was, they both couldn’t help the small flutter in their chests at the contact. “I’ve got work for the next couple days so I’ll probably head on by at closing time, you’ll be seeing plenty of me, I promise.”

  “What about today? It’s your day off, isn't it?”

  “Today? Well, I’m gonna try and work some things out today, make sure that I know exactly what I need to do and all that. Just some personal time to think, that’s all.”

  She nodded, patting the back of his hand before stepping back towards the door, smiling softly. “Well if thinking gets to be a bit too much, the doors are always open for a drink. Just come knocking and we’ll swing it open.”

  Shane stood and watched her every step of the way until she was inside safely, eyes scanning from side to side before he stepped back into his car and started it up again, trying to get any sense of someone who may not belong or seemed just a little bit off, anyone who might be looking to stick a knife in his back.

  “What the fuck have you done Orson,” He asked himself, pulling into reverse and pulling out of the parking space, swinging himself around in the direction of his home before he set off again, aware now more than ever of how empty some of these streets could truly be. He felt that he’d been watched before, but that was nothing new, he just assumed that it was a bear from the clan making sure that he was still handling himself, though it was small work to drop off the grid and make them lose his trail every time it happened.

  Now however, he was deeply concerned that they may not stop at just watching him go about his business, they may have a vested interest in inserting themselves into his life and tearing it apart from the inside out. Dropping away and running from his problems wasn’t his style anymore though, and he was starting to grow fond of some of the people that he’d met in his time in this town. Not so much the town itself, but he had to admit that it wasn’t without its own little rustic charm.

  He’d given up on one home, turned his back on countless others, and he was not going to let the same happen here. If someone came for him, genuinely came with intent to harm, then he was going to make them regret every drop of sweat and blood that he spilled in the process, regardless of who they had been in his previous life.

  And sooner or later, though he was hoping it would be sooner, he was going to march right up to Orson and break his jaw for putting him through all this trouble. He figured it was only fair.

  “Stupid fucking Orson,” Shane growled, fingers gripping the wheel tightly, “Always gotta make things more complicated, can’t just let us go on and live our lives, no that would just be too simple…”

  The snow had turned to sludge as the sun passed over, a thin layer of ice still coating everything even as the rest melted away. The heavy wheels of the truck cracked and slid along the slippery coating, before leaving the frosted asphalt of the road and sweeping onto the snowy dirt of the forest. The trees were starting to close in, a thick covering that Shane had found comforting only a day ago, now found somewhat threatening when he thought about what could possibly be lurking within. As far north as they were snow and fog was a regular occurrence, you could generally count the weeks in which it was clear on one hand, but there was something hanging thick and foreboding in the air today, like the air was little more than just a thick, clouded soup.

  Shane’s head was on a swivel as he pulled up to his home, pulling the parking break and tapping his hands along the dashboard, knuckles white and his shoulders tense as he pushed the door open and stepped out. He stared out at the forest, not seeing anyone but wanting to be certain that anyone who could possibly be watching could see the look in his eyes, the look that said that no matter who came, or for what reason, they were not going to be able to take what was his, no matter how hard they tried or what they were willing to sacrifice.

  It was a look that said that he was willing to kill to defend what small patch of life he’d carved out for himself, and anyone who tested him on that was bound to lose.

  “Fuck it,” He sighed, turning back to the house and marching forward, eyes scanning and ears open to any signs of life, yet as he closed the door behind him and drew the blinds, there was nothing sticking out as out of the ordinary. Just the wind and the trees, the birds and the deer, no bear or wolf for the many miles that he could smell.

  At least not yet.

  “Alright, let’s see what you have to say about this,” He said, picking up his laptop and popping the screen up, clicking through tabs of local and statewide news, “Me and my sister were the silent ones, but the rest of you could barely keep yourselves from blowing a foghorn to announce your presence. If any of you have made moves lately, someone’ll probably have seen you, when was the last time any of you were out in the real world?”

  There hadn’t quite been any dramatic sightings, at least not in the sense that he had been hoping or dreading, but there were small signs that you could pick out if you looked very carefully. Strange sightings of bear prints out of season, slaughtered animals in areas that they generally were safe, maybe even the odd puff piece about the local bears and wolves that had been passing through without disturbing the locals. Locally there hadn’t been any such stories, but a few states over there was something that he thought he should keep his eye on.

  “Now, what are wolves doing in Nevada? That’s pretty out of your local habitat, don’t you think?” Clicking into the story, he skimmed it enough to know that it was definitely one of the wolf groups that he’d grown up fighting against, he’d know those white and brown coats anywhere. Wolves weren’t unheard of in Nevada, but they were definitely far out of season to say the least, and in such numbers that those who were local wouldn’t be blamed for thinking that they were seeing the entire wolf population of the state.

  The bears took longer to find, but soon enough he could see rare sightings of bears in Florida, out in the glades where they had no real reason to be at all. He didn’t have any idea where his siblings had gone to when they’d first left, or where they had ended up since, but he would bet money on both of them being either in or near Florida and Nevada, otherwise
the movements of the two clans would make no sense at all. They might be terrible when it came to keeping a low profile, but in terms of tracking? There was much to be said about their abilities in that particular regard, he’d fought side by side with people who could sniff out a single hare from ten miles away. They could find three screwups who didn’t really do that much work to cover their trail when they’d first left, he wouldn’t be surprised if they knew where they were from the get go.

  But though it looked like they were on the trail of his siblings, after a few hours of searching Shane still couldn’t find evidence of anyone approaching his position, not strange migrations, rare sightings, far as he could see he was more or less in the clear. Though he had dropped their tail a number of times over the years, he wouldn’t be surprised if they just decided that pursuing him just wasn’t worth the time anymore and pulled back to camp. That was good, that gave him some time to think about what he was going to do when they eventually came for him, because they would, and he was not going to run from them.

  “This is my territory, not theirs. They’re gonna be a long way from home, and they’ve just lost everything, which means they’ll probably be distracted too.” Shane stood, walking across to the wall and tapping his fingers along the wood, like he was typing out each word into his memory. “This is a shitty little town in the middle of nowhere, with three bars and a strip club, not out of the realm of possibility that everyone has a gun as well. If things escalate… the townspeople probably won’t stay idle. They won’t be able to do much against whoever comes but… if pressed, they could be a decent distraction.”

  He stopped, fingers resting against the wood and sliding down to squeeze into a fist, eyes clamping closed and his jaw clenching. He had to fight to not let himself fall into that way of thinking anymore, even years after the war, he wasn’t in the sacrificing business anymore. What Shane needed were potential allies that could fight by his side, not a couple of meat treats to toss into the meat grinder when he needed an advantage.