Leaving His Mark

by T A. McKay

  “You said it was okay to change to that time. That since it wasn’t a big tattoo you were willing to wait for her. I'm taking it she’s hot and that’s why you agreed.” I sit with my mouth open. When she started talking about me thinking appointment girl was hot her voice changed. She sounded pissed if I'm not mistaken. I don’t even know who this girl is that’s coming in, I don’t even remember agreeing to the appointment. I look down at the book and see my signature next to the name. It’s a requirement for the artist to sign off on any change to appointments if they are out of normal working hours. It keeps everything easier for Rhys and it means none of us can complain about her. Well shit, looks like I'm working late tonight. I look at her and see the humour in her eyes even if she’s trying to hide the smirk that’s playing at the corners of her mouth.

  I turn the book back around to face her not dropping my stare. If there was any day I wanted to finish early it would be today. I get up from the desk and walk away from her, still glaring at her. Just as I'm about to enter the workroom I turn away causing her to burst out laughing.

  “Don’t worry Gabe. I’ll be here until you leave, I’ll protect you from her advances.” I put my hand around the doorframe, making sure she was looking at me before putting my middle finger up to her. This earns me another fit of the giggles from her. I smile to myself, thinking again what a great choice she was for the shop.

  Chapter Four

  “Morning, Rhys.” I look up from the computer and smile as Paul greets me. His smile grows when I look up. It still creeps me out a little but I remember how nice he was the night before and my promise to be nicer to him. I note the time and see he’s early, obviously Gabe’s talk to him the other day is making a difference.

  “Morning, Paul. Your first client will be in soon.” He walks behind the desk and leans over me, looking at the appointment book, his arm brushing against mine. I try to hold back the shudder that goes through my body but I can’t. This is something I don’t like about Paul, he doesn’t respect personal space. I move my chair away from him, pretending to grab a file from the other side of the desk. The bell goes above the door and I'm thankful to have something to distract me, I’m trying to be nice. Trying so freaking hard.

  I smile at the customer as she approaches the desk.

  “Good morning¸ can I help?” She walks over to me, her eyes watching Paul behind me. She runs her fingers through her hair while licking her lips. I have to contain my laugh as she makes it really obvious that she likes what she sees.

  “Hi. I have an appointment with Paul. I'm getting a tattoo on my hip.” Her voice is breathy as she speaks, her eyes never leaving Paul even though she’s talking to me. I grab the clipboard with the form she needs to fill out and hold it to her.

  “Perfect. This is Paul and he’ll be with you soon. If you could just fill this form out and I will call you when he’s ready.” She smiles over my shoulder and I feel Paul’s heat against my back. I would be able to like him more if he would just keep a nice distance between us. He says hi to her but doesn’t back off at all. I'm starting to feel anxious with him pushing into my back. I suffered badly in high school with bullies, they didn’t like the fact that I didn’t fit in with them, that I didn’t look like them. I’ve never followed the standard rule when it came to my looks, preferring to be myself and wear what was comfortable. The girls hated it, I didn’t know why at the time but I think, now that I can look back on it, that I made them feel plain, made them feel just a face in the crowd where I stood out. I spent three years living in daily fear of what they were going to do to me. They destroyed my property, tripped me, nudged me, threw things at me and a few times they locked me in cupboards, trapping me for hours at a time. The worst was when one of the girls, Mindy, got her boyfriend to corner me in the changing rooms. She explained to the head teacher later that he was only meant to scare me, but he didn’t, he went so much further. The memories of his weight against my back, his breath in my ear makes my heart rate pick up. I start to panic with Paul’s weight against me but thankfully he doesn’t seem to notice, it would be so embarrassing if he knew how freaked out I was about something so simple. He finally moves away but I clench my eyes closed as I feel his breath on the side of my neck.

  “Give me five minutes and you can send her through.” Simple words, a simple act but I keep my eyes closed trying to stop myself from running from the shop. He walks away while I take deep breaths, trying to calm my racing heart rate and I wipe my sweaty hands on my skirt. It’s always times like this that I wish I had taken the school’s offer for counselling after the incident, maybe it would have helped me cope with the fear I live with constantly. It doesn’t take much to set it off. Someone walking to close behind me, being in an enclosed space with someone else or someone touching me without permission, any of those and my mind freaks out and my body soon follows.

  The clipboard is placed on the desk in front of me and I look up, smiling at the girl while I put my normal mask back in place. I’m the fun loving, easy going Rhys that everyone knows, no one can know what I went through, no one can know my pain.

  ****

  “And we are done.” I look up from my kindle as Gabe collapses onto the couch next to my desk. I’m a little shocked because I didn’t hear his client leave, and I'm pretty sure she wouldn’t have been quiet about it. She arrived on time in a flurry of curly blonde hair and a voice that was way too loud. She wore too much makeup and perfume making me think for the second time today about the girls I went to school with. I had heard her giggle for the past hour and I tried to block her out as much as possible. I looked towards the workroom but I know that Gabe wouldn’t have left her in there on her own.

  “Is she gone?” I look back to him and see the smile on his lips.

  “How the hell did you manage to block her out? Please tell me your secret because I'm pretty sure my headache is worse now than it was with my hangover this morning after listening to that voice.” I'm still sitting in confusion. How the freaking hell did she get past me without me knowing? I hear his laugh as I take too long to answer, my head moving between looking at him and looking towards the door to the workroom.

  “Seriously, is she gone?” I get up from the desk and walk to look through the back. She really is gone. I walk back to the front to see Gabe lying on his back, holding his sides as tears of laughter run down his cheeks. I don’t know if I should laugh with him or walk over and kick him, he shouldn’t get this much hilarity from my confusion. He finally composes himself enough to speak to me.

  “What book were you reading? It must have been a really dirty one.” I blush a little because he is really close to the mark with that comment. What can I say, I like my books a little on the naughty side with hot alpha men. I'm reading about Archer Brooks. Tattooed, alpha and oh so hot, he is like all my dreams rolled into one man.

  “Oh my God, are you reading porn?” My face gets redder as he gets off the couch and follows me behind my desk. I tidy up the few loose papers that are lying around trying to do anything to distract myself from the conversation.

  “So are we ready to go home?” That’s what I need to do. Get out of here and go home, not stand here discussing my reading habits. I just need to close down my computer and I'm good to go.

  “Fuck me, sweetheart. Fuck me hard. Ride that motherfucker off the goddamn cliff.” My head whips around to look at Gabe, my mouth open in shock at the words he just spoke. I don’t know what to say, I have never seen any evidence that he likes me as anything other than a friend.

  “Who the hell is this Archer dude?” I blink at him trying to get my brain to catch up with my heart that is racing in my chest. It’s then I look down and see him holding my Kindle in his hand, reading the book I was just reading. I rush forward to try and grab it from his hands but he holds it up high above my head, out of my reach.

  “Gabe, give me my kindle.” I feel like a little kid again, when the taller kids would keep my toys out of my reach. I stand on my t
iptoes, reaching high above myself but I know that I won’t reach it. Gabe has about a foot on my height and he’s putting it to good use.

  “Shhhhh, Rhys. I'm trying to read this. I know why you like this.” He leans down towards my ear, whispering like it’s a big secret.

  “She’s giving him head.” My breath catches in my chest as I feel his breath against my neck. Only this morning I was in a similar situation with Paul feeling trapped, nervous but now I only feel excitement. The warmth of his breath against my ear causes goose bumps all over my body. I’ve no idea what’s happening. I step back, my eyes meeting Gabe’s as I break contact. He obviously doesn’t feel the same electricity I do as he follows my retreating form. I match him step for step, trying to keep distance between us and that works until I feel the wall at my back. Gabe keeps walking until his front is touching mine. I can’t drop my gaze, focusing on his eyes and trying to calm my breathing because every time I breathe in my nipples rub against his hard chest. The thing that affects me the most though are his eyes, I have never been this close to him and I wish I wasn’t now. I could get lost in the blueness of his amazing gaze. I notice his eyes aren’t just bright blue, they have flecks of a much darker blue sprinkled through them, and those darker bits are getting darker by the second. His Adams apple works in his throat as he swallows, catching my eye and I feel the urge to lick it, to feel it move under my tongue.

  A cough pulls my eyes back up to Gabe’s, making me embarrassed at being caught. I can almost feel the atmosphere around us pushing against my skin and I wonder how the moment changed so quickly, and why it did? I have never been attracted to Gabe, I think he’s attractive, okay if I'm truthful I think he is downright sexy as fuck but I have never acted on that attraction or even hinted at it. But with those words he’s added another layer to his sexiness, to hear him speak like an alpha just made naughty thoughts run through my head. Gabe’s always been powerful in my eyes. He has a need for control that he thinks he hides but he doesn’t. It’s obvious in the way he runs the shop, in the way that he expects everyone to follow his rules, and it turns me on so much. When someone fucks up and he gets pissed at them, I admit that it makes my toes curl. I will stand and watch him, seeing how his muscles tense in his arms and the look on his face, it makes me wonder what he looks like when he comes. I shake my head trying to dislodge the thoughts of Gabe, it’s safe to have these thoughts at home but not here at work whilst he’s pressed up against me making my knickers wet.

  I look down, breaking the connection between us and know it works when I feel Gabe move away from my body. My kindle comes into my line of sight and I reach my hand out taking it from him.

  “I better get going. Enjoy the rest of your book, Archer sounds interesting.” Gabe disappears through the back door and I let out a deep sign. What the fuck was that? Maybe I should stop reading these books, they appear to be making me horny at the wrong bloody times. I live my life with all these perfect men in my head that when a guy gets a little to close I expect him to pin me to a wall and confess his feelings for me before claiming my body as his. I fan my face with my kindle as I start to get hot and bothered at the thought of Gabe doing just that. I need to get out and meet someone, I need to work out some of these frustrations.

  As I pack up and leave the shop, locking the door behind me I have a thought and it’s one that will stay in my mind for a long time to come. When Gabe was pushed against me why didn’t I feel uncomfortable, why didn’t my usual panic come? Anyone in my personal space makes my mind go into chaos and my body to stress out, but with Gabe he just made me hot. He just made me want to reach out and kiss him. Shit, what the hell is happening?

  I'm sitting in my car wondering what the hell just happened. It had gone from good-natured fun to me wanting to push Rhys onto her knees and feed her my dick. I totally blame that book. I wanted to see what kind of shit she was reading since she blushed when I mentioned dirty books. I’ve heard all about the type of books some women read so I thought I would make a joke about it, little did I know that I was pretty close to the mark. I couldn’t believe what I was reading when I turned her Kindle on, I didn’t meant to say it out loud but I was in shock. I wasn’t paying close attention when she tried to get it back, and I just moved naturally when she moved away. I was honestly reading, shit the story was good, the description of what the woman was doing was hot. It wasn’t until I finished reading that section that I became aware that I was standing so close to her. Close enough to feel her hard nipples rubbing against my chest every time she breathed in. The rubbing was causing friction not just on my chest but in my boxers. I didn’t think it was possible to be turned on so quickly after having sex last night.

  The feel of her against my body was something I hadn’t experienced before. When I'm with a woman it’s about getting pleasure, about the connection in that moment but nothing more. I know nothing about these women and I don’t want to. They’re simply a better alternative to using my hand. I know I sound crude and like a shit but I never lie. I love women and I do treat them with respect, there is just no long term with me. I will warm their bed, never my own, for a few hours and then leave. No feelings, no fuss, no drama, but standing there pressed against Rhys, I felt something. The heat from her body felt like it was searing my skin even through my t-shirt. When she looked into my eyes I couldn’t look away, it was like she trapped me with her stare and could see right to my soul. I had to get out. I had to get away from her before I did something stupid like kiss her.

  I lean my head back against the headrest and stare at the dark roof. Fuck, what was I even thinking. She works for me, there could never be anything between us. But staring at those lips with her lip-gloss making them look like they are wet just made me want to devour her. It didn’t help that I had stood at the door and watched her as she read after I had let my client out. I had let her out the back door because she had parked in the back car park and I didn’t want her walking up the dark alley on her own. Rhys didn’t even hear her leave, she was so engrossed in that book that she was oblivious to everything around her. She had bitten her bottom lip between her teeth and she rubbed her finger back and forth over the top of her cleavage. I’ll admit it was a bit distracting and I stood a little longer than I should have just watching her. I don’t think she even realised she was doing it, and she stopped when I finally dragged myself away from the doorway and dropped onto the couch next to her desk.

  She had blushed when she saw me, then she had looked so confused. I didn’t get why at first but I soon realised it was because she hadn’t heard Crystal the loudmouth leave and that just made me laugh. I don’t know how she hasn’t heard how quiet it had suddenly gone, because Crystal had certainly liked the sound of her own voice. She had spent the whole time trying to get me to go out with her but she failed the minute she walked in the front door. She was too forward, too in your face, I don’t like women who try too hard and she tried a lot.

  I couldn’t stop laughing at Rhys, the cute look on her face while she tried to work out what was happening was hilarious. Following her behind the desk was my first mistake, I should have just said goodnight and left but no, I had to try and tease her.

  I close my eyes and take a deep breath trying to get rid of the memory of her smell. I don’t think there is anything about her that is less than perfect. I’ve no idea why this is all happening now, why she is suddenly stuck in my head. I’m tried and hung-over still, that’s what it is. I need to go home and rest. When I come to work tomorrow I’ll just pretend that none of this happened. I will talk to her like we are friends and nothing more, which isn’t a lie because that’s what we are. Friends. Now if I just keep repeating that to myself then it will all be fine. I turn over the engine and put the car into gear. I need to get home before I do something stupid like drive to her house.

  I walk in my front door and throw my jacket over the back of my couch. Today has been a long ass day and I just want to grab a drink, then head to bed to watch TV. I gr
ab a bottle from the fridge without turning on the ceiling light and head straight to my room. I open it, throwing the lid in my bin and taking a big gulp. I see my reflection in the mirror and see I look like shit. New plan, I will take a shower and then head to bed.

  I notice the message light on my answering machine blinking and I press it on my way to the bathroom, leaving the door open so I can hear. As soon as the voice starts I realise my mistake in listening tonight. I need to turn my answering machine off, people can get me on my mobile if needed.

  “Son. Anyone would think you’re avoiding me. You’re gonna have to talk to me at some point, I won’t be around forever. I want to see you, I need to explain a few things to you. Things you should have known a long time ago. I will send you the paperwork to make it happen. Make sure you come.”

  And just like that it’s done. He’s had his say and I'm meant to do as I'm told. I can feel the usual stress working its way through my body. My heart rate is racing, sweat is dripping down my back and the sudden dryness in my mouth making me turn and grab my beer. I finish the bottle in one go and slam it down onto the surface next to the sink. I undress quickly and step into the shower.

  I want to wash away this feeling.

  I want to wash away the stress.

  I need to wash away the memories of my past.

  Chapter Five

  I run across the grass towards the swings, laughing as I hear my mum following me. I jump up onto the swing, waiting to be pushed. I love this time when it’s just my mum and me, we can have fun and enjoy spending time with each other without worry.

  I giggle as I'm pushed higher and higher, the feeling of flying working its way through my body. I’m sure if I reach out I could touch the sky, feel the clouds that I'm sure feel like cotton candy. I close my eyes and feel myself float, working my feet back and forth to keep myself flying.