by T A. McKay
Finally she turns and looks at me while leaning against the unit across from me, matching my position. We stand in silence for a few moments just looking at each other. I know we’re both wondering how this is going to play out, this is the point where we see if we can still be friends. I can’t let this turn weird so I point at her dress.
“You seem to have spilled a little.” She looks down at her dress that is covered in more than a little bit of cake batter and bursts out laughing. I smile around a mouthful of cake, loving the fact that I made her laugh. Why does making her smile, making her laugh make me feel like Superman? She points at my clothes while trying to get herself under control.
“Yeah, you seem to have the same problem.” I don’t bother looking down, I know I'm a mess but I don’t want to look away from her smile. I hold the empty cupcake wrapper up to her and nod.
“These are so good. I didn’t know you were a baker.” She blushes a little at the compliment and it makes me glad I said it. Shit, if Clay could hear my thoughts he would never let me live it down. I’m sounding like a chick.
“Thank you. I just thought that maybe I would make you a few and got a little carried away. Baking is like reading, I tend to zone out. And …” She goes to say something else and stops, her blush increasing and it makes me need to know what she was going to say.
“And what?” She shakes her head and turns to get a cloth, brushing it gently over her dress trying to remove some of the mess. I reach out and still her hand, waiting until she looks up at me. When she finally looks up I can see a sadness in her eyes and I don’t like it. I worry that I have done something to cause it.
“What? Tell me.” She tries to look down again but with my finger under chin I lift her head back up. She takes a deep breath and trying to give herself some courage before she speaks.
“It’s just… well I don’t have any money. I had to use the rent money I had saved to replace some of the stuff that was destroyed, so I don’t have any money to give you. So I just thought that maybe I could do something nice for you until I can save a little, so you got hundreds of cupcakes.” I hear her words but I don’t understand them. Why would she need to give me money? I don’t want her to pay back the money I put out to buy her things. I'm not rich by any means but I make a decent living at the shop and I don’t have many outgoing expenses. My house is all paid for, I had used my mum’s life insurance to buy it. I spent years not wanting to touch the money, shocked that she had left it to me and not my dad, but then I realised that she had known something would happen to her. She had obviously wanted to make sure I was taken care of after she was gone and with that in mind I bought myself the one thing I haven’t had since the day she died. I bought myself a home.
“You don’t need to give me money, Rhys. I don’t want it.” She shakes her head while I speak and I know this is going to turn into an argument.
“Gabe, I can’t live here without paying you anything. Just give me until payday and I’ll give you money, or keep my wage to cover what I eat. I’ll be trying to pay you off for years as it is, to cover what you’ve bought me so I don’t want to add more to my debt. I don’t know how much I still need to replace but I will pay you back eventually.” Her words come out rushed and they actually make me angry. I didn’t buy her the things so she could pay me back, not once have I told her that the money was a loan to her. I have bought what she needed because she needed them, that’s it. I try and control my anger when I think about how she must be feeling. Not only did she have the shock of everything she owned being destroyed but I haven’t let her back to her apartment yet. I told her the police still had it locked down and no one was allowed in. I wanted to make sure it was tidy before she went back, I didn’t want her to feel the pain of seeing it all again.
I reach out and brush my thumb over her cheek. I see her eyes flutter slightly with my touch and I once again have to reign in my lust for her, this isn’t the time to act like a horny teen.
“You owe me nothing. I haven’t asked you to repay anything.” I can see that she’s about to speak so I place my thumb over her lips to silence her.
“I did it because I could, because I wanted to. But I will give you one piece of advice. I would get that dickhead of a boss to give you a raise, he obviously doesn’t pay you enough.” That was one thing I picked up from her declaration. If she’s struggling to pay for everything when she lives in the cheapest, most dangerous area in town then something’s wrong. She should be able to afford to live in a nice area and still have enough money to put aside in case of emergencies.
The pain in her eyes starts to disappear and is replaced by humour. I fully intend on increasing her salary but I had to make a joke of it because to ease the tension in the room and so she wouldn’t think I was doing it out of pity. My comment clearly worked if the smile on her face is anything to go by.
“He is a bit of an arse but don’t tell him know I said that. I mean seriously.” She leans into me like she’s about to tell me a secret,
“He seems to think he’s Gods gift to women. I don’t think he's anything special.” Her cheeky words surprise me, leaving me speechless for a few seconds. Her laughter finally pulls me from my shock and I can’t help but play along. I stalk towards her as she backs away, her eyes widening.
“Oh I don’t know. You seemed to think certain parts of me were special last night.” An instant blush hits her cheeks and now she’s the one who is speechless. I know I'm pushing against what we promised, one night of fun was what was decided, but as I watch her backing away I can’t stop thinking that chasing her might be fun.
“Nothing to say?” Her hips meet the counter and she stops, nowhere else to run. I don’t stop walking until my hips are pressing against hers showing her exactly what she does to me. My hard on is rubbing against her stomach and I know she can feel it, there’s no way she could miss it. I tower over her and she needs to raise her head to keep eye contact with me. The height difference makes me feel strong next to her, like I’m her protector. She shakes her head at me, her mouth opens slightly and I want to stick something between her lips, my dick or my tongue, I'm not sure which one.
I feel her chest rise and fall against mine, her breathing fast and laboured. I love the fact that she reacts so easily to me, at least I'm not the only one who struggles to stay in control. I need her. I know I shouldn’t, she’s vulnerable and my employee but I can’t stop myself and that scares me the most. I’ve always been in control, I never letting emotions take over my feelings. I grew up with a dad that had no control, who let his anger take over until he snapped and I paid the price. I never want to be like that. Ever since him, I’ve refused to let anyone hold any control over me and how I act … until now. Rhys brings something out in me that I can’t understand or repress, something that I feel like I need to give into, something that seems to give my soul peace.
Last night, simply by having her in my bed I had the best night’s sleep I can remember since the last time I slept in my mum’s arms. I felt settled, I felt protected, I felt loved. If I was ever going to give my heart to anyone it would be Rhys, but I just can’t do it. I promised myself a long time ago that I’d never fall in love with anyone. I’ve seen what love does to people, what it had done to my mum. It had slowly destroyed who she had been, I saw a little part of her disappear every day. I couldn’t risk putting a woman through that, I’m completely convinced that if I fell in love I would turn into my dad. So this between Rhys and me has to remain purely about sex, it just has to.
I look at the clock on the wall, making it obvious to Rhys where I'm looking. Her eyes flicker to it before she looks back at me.
“Would you look at that, it’s earlier than I thought.” Her forehead creases in confusion. She doesn’t get what I'm hinting at so I'm going to have to make myself very clear so there is no way she can confuse it. I lean down so I'm level with her ear, inhaling her scent from her hair and neck. Fuck, she smells like cupcakes.
“The way
I see it, with it being so early this still counts as last night.” I place a gentle kiss against her neck before leaning back so I can see her face. Her pupils are large and there is a fire in her eyes that gives me hope that she will let me have her one more time. She pulls her bottom lip into her mouth as she looks at me and my dick twitches, desperate to feel her do that to it.
She pushes on my chest creating a space between us and I start to panic, she’s not going to let this happen. I step back and try to work out all the arguments I have for why she should let this happen. Just when I'm about to drop to my knees to beg her she reaches to her side. I watch intently wondering what’s she’s doing and after a few seconds I want to drop to my knees again but for a very different reason this time. Dragging her hand slowly down her side she opens the zip of the dress, leaving me standing watching with my mouth open like an idiot. I can’t tear my eyes from what she’s doing, there is nothing sexual about the action but it has my dick hardening to painful levels.
When the zip is fully down she pauses slightly and I see her take a deep breath. When she exhales she drops her hands and it doesn’t take long for gravity to work in my favour as the dress falls to the ground leaving Rhys naked except for a tiny pair of lacy knickers. I nearly swallow my tongue, even though I saw her naked last night it wasn’t like this. She doesn’t have anything to hide behind here and the sun shining through the kitchen window leaves nothing to the imagination. Last night there were shadows and darkness. Today there’s nothing, she stands there in all her glory, letting my eyes feast on her. She is true perfection, all soft skin and gentle curves, my eyes don’t know where to look first.
“Are you planning on moving anytime soon? It won’t be night time forever.” Her voice pulls my eyes from her body and even though I'm sad to not be looking at her, that feeling doesn’t last long when I see the look on her face. Her eyes are sparkling with humour and lust, and with the flush that has taken over her face, she looks sexier than anyone I’ve laid eyes on. I can’t stay away from her any longer and I close the space between us, my mouth attacking hers like she is my life source, my reason for breathing. Her taste explodes in my mouth and I know I'm lost. I might want to pretend that I don’t feel anything, that I’m only about sexual pleasure but not with Rhys. She makes me feel whole when I touch her and even though I don’t know why, the feeling makes me happy but confused.
I need more, so quickly move our bodies, lifting her as I move until she is sitting on the counter with her legs wrapped around my waist.
“One more time, then friends?” She nods her head as she reaches out and tugs on my belt trying to get it open. I help by undoing it myself while she tugs my zipper down. Her touch is urgent and I know how badly she wants this, almost as bad as I do. There is no foreplay, no tender touches, just need and want. I grip her knickers in my hand, clenching around the material before ripping them from her body. She lets out a little squeal out as she moves closer to the edge of the counter top. Fire flares in her eyes and I attack her mouth again.
Her hand curls around my dick, squeezing as she rubs along my length. I shudder in her hand, feeling pressure building in my balls already. I need to get inside her before it’s too late. I grab her hands and put them behind her back, keeping them there in one hand. Her breathing quickens and she tilts her hips, opening herself up to me. I reach my hand between us, slipping a finger inside her pussy to make sure she’s ready for me. I groan when I feel how wet she is, it’s almost dripping from her. I grip my dick in my hand before rubbing along her opening. There is something so incredibly sexy about her being completely naked in front of me while I'm still fully dressed. It makes me feel dominant and in complete control of the situation.
“Gabe.” My voice is said like a prayer, drifting quietly from her lips. I’m ready to push inside her when a scary thought rushes into my mind. Condom. Fuck I can’t believe I nearly forgot, and I can’t believe I don’t have one here in the kitchen. It’s going to take all the power I posses to remove myself to go get one.
“Shit. I nearly forgot a condom. I need to go and get one, so I need to you to stop moving or I won’t be able to leave.” I hope she hears the pleading in my voice because I need her to help me slow down. I go to move away from her but she tightens her legs around me, pulling me into her body. I drop my head to her shoulder and start a silent mantra in my head. Must pull away. Must pull away.
I feel her lips on my ear making a heat spread through me and straight to my balls.
“Its okay. I have a contraception implant, we’re safe. I’ve only been with two people … I'm clean.” The words reach my ear on a gasp as I move against her. She feels so good against my dick, she feels even better without a condom. Her words take time to work through the fog of lust in my brain but when they finally register I feel the groan I release coming from my toes. I’m still torn, I want to feel her skin to skin but the risk is always there. Nothing is one hundred percent affective. It’s not that I don’t think she’s clean, I know she isn’t the kind of girl who would sleep around but I have a huge fear of pregnancy. The thought of bringing a child into my life makes me actually sweat with panic but I push that thought from my mind. She says she’s safe and that’s good enough for me, I trust Rhys completely, even with this. I know I'm clean because I never go without a condom and even though I enjoy the company of women I don’t actually sleep around. I could count on one hand how many women I’ve been with in the last year.
“I'm clean, I never do this without protection.” I'm proud of myself that I’ve managed to form a full sentence when I feel all my blood is rushing to my dick.
I push forward into her body, believing that she would never lie to me. The feeling is overwhelming and I need to lock my knees so I don’t fall to the floor. The friction from her and the heat is like nothing before and sex with a condom will never be the same again. I take it slow, enjoying every inch I discover. I thought last night was the best sex of my life but just slipping into her today has beaten that. I feel her tighten around my dick when I'm fully inside her and I bite her shoulder trying to release some tension from my body, to try and not prematurely explode inside her.
“Oh God, Gabe. You feel so good. I'm so close.” Her words are said in a rush and they mirror everything I'm feeling. I grab her wrists tighter and pull her body closer to the edge of the worktop.
I want to savour the moment but the urge to thrust wins out and I pull out of her body before pushing deeply back in. Rhys’s cry echo through the kitchen spurring me on, my hips move faster as I seek our mutual release. Her eyes close and her head falls backwards. I lean forward and lick her neck before biting it, the need to mark her races through my body. I can feel the heat building in my balls as my orgasm builds quickly, I need her to come before me but I can’t stop myself from moving. I reach down with my free hand and rub over her clit. I feel completely connected to her with my dick inside her, my hands touching her and my mouth tasting her skin. It’s like sensory overload and if I die now I’ll go a very happy man.
She tightens around me and I increase the pressure on her clit. The reaction is almost instantaneous as she orgasms, gripping my dick so tight that I have no chance in holding back any longer. The inferno in my balls explodes and I feel myself pulse as I empty myself inside her. I bite my teeth down on her shoulder to stop my self shouting her name, I hear her scream and I don’t know if it’s in pleasure or pain but when I taste blood in my mouth I release her quickly. My eyes are drawn to the perfect set of impressions in her skin and I cringe as I look at them. Her giggling draws my eyes to her face where I can see humour flashing in her eyes.
“That’s never a look a girl wants to see after an earth shattering orgasm. I'm taking it you left a mark.” I bite my lip as I nod, not able to form the words to tell her how bad it is. I release her wrists and relax against her, my dick still surprisingly hard inside her. I need to move and get us both cleaned up but I don’t want to pull out, she feels too good.
I grab the dishtowel and wipe it over the marks on her neck, cleaning the little drops of blood. I feel her body shiver under my touch and I smile at her reaction. Her eyes look soft and dreamy and I love seeing her like this, like she has just had the best orgasm ever and for my ego’s sake, I hope she did.
“What can I say, I must be part vampire.” She giggles and wriggles her hips. I hate to move but I know I need to before Rhys’s legs get numb. Slowly I pull out of her body, grabbing her destroyed knickers and handing them too her to help her clean up a bit. She giggles as she grabs them and her dress and rushes from the room. I close over my jeans and as I turn to move to the kettle to make a coffee Rhys looks around the doorframe.
“Gabe.” I turn and look at her thinking something is wrong.
“So, friends now?” She doesn’t even wait for my answer before she vanishes, her laughter meeting my ears as she rushes away. I laugh as I turn back to make two mugs off coffee but my laughter soon fades as my thoughts return to Rhys. I honestly think that if I allowed myself I could love Rhys, she makes me feel like I'm a hundred feet tall and it’s been a long time since someone made me feel like that. I can’t love her though which is fine, I knew that from the start. My next thought is not a happy one, what happens when she finds someone who deserves her? I'm going to have to watch her fall in love with someone else. I have a terrifying feeling that that might destroy me.
Chapter Twelve
I look in the mirror just before I leave my room. I’d taken a quick shower trying to clean off the cake batter that I’d covered me and Gabe with. I had found it in places that I really shouldn’t have but I’m blaming Gabe for that. Heat spreads through me thinking about what just happened in the kitchen, the memory is one that will be with me forever.
