Lost in Her

by Sandra Owens

  Then she’d discovered airplanes, and if she lost her license, she would have nothing. That would shatter her. Whatever she had to do to keep that from happening, she would. Her plane was the only thing that hadn’t betrayed her. It wouldn’t go and die on her like her daddy had; it wouldn’t accuse her of lying like her mother had. It would never put a noose around its neck, and it would never bully her or make fun of her.

  “You seem a million miles away,” Maria said, drawing Charlie back to the present. “Guess I can’t blame you, considering everything going on in your life right now.”

  Ryan had said to enjoy her afternoon, and suddenly, she wanted to do that more than anything. For a few hours, she wouldn’t think of rat-bastard ex-boyfriends, betrayals, and murderous plane saboteurs.

  “Tell me about Dani and Sugar.” As Maria turned off US 98 toward Pensacola Beach, Charlie made up her mind that she would give this girlfriend thing another try. She had the feeling that with Maria, what she saw was what she got, and she liked the woman already.

  “Dani is Logan’s wife. He’s my brother. She’s awesome, and you’re gonna love her. She writes romance books. Sugar is Jamie Turner’s fiancée. He works for us. We call him Saint because he doesn’t drink or curse. Sugar’s a trip. Real southern, but since she’s from Charleston, that’s no surprise.”

  “Sugar’s an interesting name. Is it a nickname?”

  “Ah, it’s not the name she was given at birth, but it’s her legal name now.”

  Based on Maria’s hesitation, Charlie figured there was a story there. They turned onto a cobblestoned driveway, and she let out a low whistle. “Wow, that’s an awesome house.”

  “Wait until you see inside.”

  A beautiful red-haired woman opened the door before they’d reached it. “Hey, sweetie,” she said, giving Maria a kiss on the cheek and then turning to Charlie. “You must be Charlene. I’m Dani.”

  Charlie almost corrected her own name, but caught herself. Maybe it was time to start acting like a woman again. “I am. It’s nice to meet you.” As she entered the house, she tried not to stare, but sheesh, she’d never been inside a place so beautiful. The living room ceiling was open all the way up to the second story, and the back wall was nothing but glass with an amazing view of the gulf.

  “Sugar’s in the bathroom. Prepare to listen to her complain about how often she has to pee now that she’s pregnant.”

  Charlie followed Dani to the kitchen island and took the stool next to Maria. The whole bottom floor of the house was open, and from where she sat, she had a great view of the beach. “Your home is beautiful, and I love the colors. The greens and blues are perfect for a beach house.”

  Dani turned and eyed the room as if seeing it for the first time. “I was in awe when I first saw this place. Still am. Logan chose the colors and décor.”

  “Really? I’m impressed.”

  “Wait until ya lay eyes on her husband. Talk about impressive. The man should be in the dictionary next to eye candy.” The woman with honey-blonde hair and violet eyes walking toward them laughed. “He still scares me, though.”

  Sheesh, she was surrounded by beautiful women. Add Maria’s glossy, almost black hair to the mix and all the hair colors were represented in one room. She wished she’d run a comb through hers before walking through the door. A little lipstick probably wouldn’t have been amiss either. Realizing she was running her fingers through her hair, she dropped her hand to her lap.

  “I’m Sugar, but they probably already told you that. I’m so tired of peeing that I’m fixin’ to scream.” She patted her barely visible baby bump.

  Dani rolled her eyes. “Did I not tell you?”

  “What?” Sugar asked, snatching a cracker and a slice of cheese from the platter in the middle of the island with one hand while the other scooped up half a dozen olives. “I hate olives, so why I’m craving them beats me.” All six went into her mouth.

  Maria laughed. “Why don’t I just get the jar and pour them down your throat?”

  An hour and two glasses of wine later, Charlie had forgotten that the women intimidated her, and was laughing hysterically as Sugar told the story of how she’d almost sent her husband to heaven via a beer truck.

  “It was closer to seeing Jesus than I evah want to get for a long time,” she said, then jumped up from the bar stool. “I gotta pee.”

  “Are all of you drunk?”

  Charlie, holding her stomach from laughing so hard, looked up to see four men who could have stepped out of one of Dani’s romance novels, only one of which she knew.

  “Hi, love,” Dani said and walked to one of them and kissed him on the mouth.

  Wow, Sugar had been right. Logan Kincaid was crazypants eye candy. Charlie gave Ryan a little wave, and he grinned, sending her heart into a flutter. Nope, it wasn’t him. It was just the wine sending butterflies into her stomach. He came and stood next to her, putting his hand on her shoulder.

  One of the men, dark haired with hazel eyes, walked up behind Maria and wrapped his arms around her. “Miss me, Chiquita?” he asked.

  She lifted her face and smiled at him. “Always.”

  “Where’s Sugar?” asked the only one left without a woman next to him. “No, let me guess. She’s in the bathroom.”

  “Yep,” Maria said.

  With his blond hair and blue eyes, and almost-pretty face, Charlie decided his nickname of Saint fit him. Ryan introduced her to everyone, and after a few minutes of talk, he asked if she was ready to go home. She nodded, swallowing past the lump in her throat at his words. It had felt as if she was one of them, that she and Ryan were a real couple.

  Get those visions of forever out of your head, Charlie, my girl. Never gonna happen.

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  Ryan eyed Charlie, sitting quietly across the table from him. She had been quiet ever since leaving the Kincaid house. “I’m glad you enjoyed yourself this afternoon. I knew you’d like the ladies.”

  She shrugged. “They’re all really nice.”

  The all-out belly laugh he’d caught her at when he and his teammates had walked into the Kincaid household had strangely made him feel jealous. She had never laughed like that with him. They had made love the night before, and being with her had about fried his brain. All he’d thought about all day was getting her into his bed again. But he sensed she held herself back and he wanted to see the real Charlie.

  When they had walked into his house, and she had picked up Mr. Bunny, rubbing noses with him, that little tug in his heart had happened again. He almost ignored it, almost pushed it away. Then as he stood to the side of her while she nuzzled his rabbit, it occurred to him that he’d never taken her on a date.

  He asked, she accepted, and now they sat across from each other in a ridiculously overpriced French restaurant. “This isn’t working, is it?” he asked as he watched her move something he couldn’t identify around on her plate.

  As she lifted her gaze to his, he could tell she was about to swear he’d chosen perfectly. He reached across the table and took her fork from her hand and set it on the plate. “Never lie to me, Charlene. I don’t even know what I’m eating, and as for what’s on your plate, I couldn’t venture a guess. I know a little place on the beach where they serve the best hamburgers in town. You with me?”

  She laughed that wonderful laugh of hers. “I so am.” With an apologetic glance down at her food, she pushed the plate to the side. “I’m sorry. This meal’s going to put a serious dent on your credit card, and I should probably eat it.”

  Should he tell her he could afford years of them eating at the expensive restaurant? As Kathleen’s jewelry business had been successful enough to pay the bills, they had socked his paychecks away, intending to use the money to buy a house when he opted out of the SEALs. Then there was the fact that Kincaid paid his men well, so his bank account was very healthy.

  They got the burgers to go, and then walked to the nearby Pensacola Beach Gulf Pier. Ryan handed over
a few bucks for their admission to get on the pier, and they found an empty bench. Railing lamps gave off a soft yellow glow, and he inhaled the tangy scent of the salt-laden air.

  “I love the sound of the water,” Charlie said. “This probably sounds silly, but I always feel at peace at the ocean.”

  “Not silly at all.” She was beautiful in the moonlight, and he wanted to make love to her on a blanket on the sand some night.

  They ate their burgers in silence, listening to the rhythmic roll of the waves crashing over the shore. The frothy whitecaps were almost iridescent and kind of hypnotic, and when they finished their meal, he put his arm around her, tucking her into his side. She leaned her head back on his shoulder and looked up at the moon. Her mouth was close to his, and he almost kissed her. But if he started he thought he might not stop, and after his earlier phone call from Maria, they needed to talk.

  “You’ve been quiet tonight, cherub. Are you worried about losing your pilot’s license?”

  “Not really. Someone’s lying, and the attorney will get to the bottom of it. I just don’t need this crap less than two weeks before my air show. And I really don’t need to be grounded from instructing. I’m more pissed about that than anything. My paycheck puts fuel in my plane.”

  “If you need—”

  “No. I don’t need your money.”

  He recognized pride when he saw it, and let the subject drop, although he vowed to find a way to help her if Haydon insisted on keeping her grounded. “I’m curious why your manager grounded you so fast. Shouldn’t you be allowed to fly while the FAA investigates the complaint?”

  “You’d think. I don’t understand why David did that myself.”

  “Did you know he posted pictures of you on a website, claiming you’re his girlfriend?” Maria had called with that latest information while Ryan was dressing for dinner. He had taken a quick look at the site and found photos of Charlie standing next to her plane, and others clearly taken around the airport. There was one that tinged his vision red, her wearing a halter top and shorts, washing her plane. She was bent over, scrubbing a wheel with a brush, and the camera was focused on her ass. He’d bet anything she hadn’t realized at the time that Haydon was taking that particular picture.

  “What?” She jumped up and faced him with her small hands fisted at her sides.

  Spitfire. That was the word that came to mind, along with instant arousal. He wanted to strip her naked and lose himself in all that energy sizzling around her. Bad timing, but still . . .

  Scissoring his lower legs around hers, he tugged, causing her to fall onto his lap. “Kiss me, Charlene.”

  “But—”

  Ryan covered her mouth with his. When she sighed and wrapped her arms around his neck, he flicked the tip of his tongue over the seam of her lips, needing to taste her. Her lips parted, and he grunted his approval. There were still moments when he was struck by the differences between her and Kathleen—their size, their smell, their taste. Like now, at how much better Charlie fit on his lap. But it was happening less and less, and for that he was thankful.

  “I could spend the rest of my life kissing you,” he said when they came up for air. As soon as he realized what he’d said, he wished he could take it back. Where had that come from? He wasn’t looking for a lifetime with any woman. Been there. Not doing it again.

  The way her eyes softened at his words sent alarm bells ringing in his head. Was she falling for him? He’d tried to make it clear that all they would ever have between them was the here and now. For as long as the fun lasted.

  He put his hands around her waist and lifted her to sit next to him. “Sorry, I got distracted. We were talking about you being David Haydon’s girlfriend.”

  With a look that said he had her confused—hell, he was confused, so why shouldn’t she be?—she turned her head away, staring down the pier. “First, I’ve never been his girlfriend, and if he claims I am or was, he’s got a black eye coming. Second, just what do you want from me, Ryan?”

  He wished he knew.

  When Ryan stood and walked to the railing, Charlie stayed put. She watched as he placed his hands on the rail, ones that she personally knew could set a woman on fire. They sure had done that to her. She wasn’t an expert on men. Far from it. Look at her one and only real boyfriend. He’d been married the whole time he was with her, the rat fink.

  Unlike Aaron, Ryan was an honorable man, but he had issues, namely a dead wife who obviously still haunted him. A part of her sympathized with him, but a larger part of her wanted to scream at him, “Turn around and look at me. I would never betray you.” She didn’t make a sound, though, and he didn’t turn around. What a pair they were.

  “I’m leaving in a few days on an assignment,” he finally said with his back still to her. “I’m not supposed to tell you this, but I trust you.” He turned and caught her gaze with an intensity that made her catch her breath. “What I’m saying is that I’m trusting you with my life and those of others. I’ll be leaving for Helsinki on an operation.”

  “I—”

  He held up a hand. “No, just listen. What I do is dangerous. There’s always the chance I’ll come back in a body bag, but it’s what I do. Then there’s my wife, and my inability to deal with her death and her betrayal, meaning I’m on the wrong side of messed up. I have to tell you, I’m not happy that a pretty cherub means anything to me. But you do. You ask what I want from you, and the hell if I know. What I do know is I want you to be waiting for me when I get back.”

  Something had changed between them. Charlie curled into the embrace of Ryan’s arms and breathed him in. The feel of him skin to skin, the sensuous slide of his hands down her back, even the sheets on his bed felt different. Silkier, softer.

  What was between them was no longer a game; it had become real with his admission on the pier. She still didn’t expect forever, but she gave him a little more of her heart anyway.

  “I’ve thought about having you naked in my bed all night,” he said, nuzzling her neck.

  “I’m here. What are you going to do with me?”

  He lifted his head, one corner of his mouth tilting up as if amused. “I’m going to love on you all night, girlfriend.”

  “Is that all?”

  The orange streaks in his green eyes flared. “Is that all, she asks? By the time I’m finished with you, Charlene, you won’t be able to talk, much less ask silly questions. That I promise.”

  His mouth was inches from hers, and her eyes followed his lips down until they covered hers. As he playfully nipped his way from one corner of her mouth to the other, Charlie cradled her palm on his face. From the smoothness of his skin, he must have shaved when he’d disappeared into his bathroom after they had returned.

  Still shy with him, she tentatively brushed her tongue over his bottom lip. From the sound he made low in this throat, he liked that, and she grew braver. With her teeth, she gave a tug, causing him to chuckle.

  “Impatient, are we?” He angled his head and thrust his tongue into her mouth, sliding it over and around hers.

  They kissed, hot and wet, as if neither one could get enough of the other, and Charlie loved the taste of him, loved the way he seemed to like touching her—her hair, the curve of her spine, her breasts, her bottom. His hands were all over her, caressing, kneading, stroking.

  It was the same for her. The feel of hard muscles under her palm, the expanse of his shoulders, his sex line that she finally found the courage to trace with her fingertips; she would never tire of touching him. And never had she been so needy and wanting.

  “Please,” she begged.

  “Not yet, cherub.” He kissed a path down to her breasts, then sucked a nipple into his mouth, swirling his tongue around it.

  “Ahhh,” she moaned when he lightly bit down.

  He rocked his hips against her, rubbing his erection over her stomach. Just when she thought the breast he was giving his attention was too pleasure-pained to take any more, he moved to th
e other one. A few minutes later, he slid his face down, nipping and licking his way over her stomach, ending up between her legs.

  “God, you taste so good, Charlie.” His tongue swept over her skin, teasing her. Then his play turned serious. “I want you to come while my mouth is on you.”

  As if he’d given her a command she couldn’t refuse, she shattered. It was so sudden and so surprising that she forgot how to breathe. Her vision blurred as tears burned her eyes. How had he given her such a powerful orgasm with barely a touch?

  He climbed back up her body and took her mouth in a kiss that felt hungry, as if he would devour her whole. She would let him.

  “I want to do the same thing for you,” she said, wanting to taste him the way he had her.

  “Not this time. I’m too close to losing control.” He kissed one corner of her eye, then the other. “Remember we have all night, girlfriend. Trust me, we’ll get around to that.”

  Whether he called her girlfriend, Charlie, Charlene, or cherub, his voice always seemed to curl around the one he chose at any given moment, as if his names for her were special to him. In doing so, he stole another little piece of her heart.

  Reaching over to his nightstand, he opened the drawer and grabbed a condom. It was strange how it turned her on to watch him put it on. From the way his eyes seemed to burn hot as he watched her watch him, it turned him on, too.

  When he was all rolled up, he put his hands on her thighs and spread her legs, then stilled. “If you want this as much as I want it, then it’s entirely possible we’re about to set the bed on fire.” With that pronouncement, he lowered his big body over hers.

  “I hope you’re not too attached to your bed,” she said. He laughed then, in a way she’d never heard from him before—as if he were truly happy.

  He kept his promise. Throughout the night, they made love, slept, made love some more, and slept some more. At some point, she slid down his body the way he had hers and took him in her mouth. When he tried to pull away before he came, she wouldn’t allow it.