The Grayling

by Cheryl Freier

  Very few of us could escape, especially with the responsibility of caring for children. The loud noises of the motors of their trucks, the constant grinding and the shouting of the soldiers, the loudness, as the butts of their rifles knocked harshly on the doors of our neighbors drowned out all other sounds in our ears. No natural sound could be heard. No sound of a robin chirping. Then the sound of quick-paced, heavy steps came closer to our front door, while we sat spellbound on the kitchen chairs. Quiet. A moment of reprieve…. Loudness….. Worse loudness…… Fierce loudness……. As the sound of the rifle butt was beating at the door, my father, Joseph, got up from his chair. He stood on the other side of the door and waited. When the door was almost busted down, he opened the door, and pretended that he had just gotten up from a deep sleep.

  Three soldiers walked right in as though they owned the place. Imprints of their footprints with mud as a medium stained the cleaned, swept kitchen wooden floor. Spots of the mud will always remain. Damn spots. “Come”, they shouted, and they pushed us to the door. We were led. We were led like sheep. This was my biggest regret, allowing myself to be led like a sheep. I remember feeling the cold from the weather biting on my skin. This was an outward sensation. Inwardly, I felt like a coward.

  We were piled into the back of the truck, seeing the dark eyes in the background, was the first thing that we saw. They were the frightened faces of close cousins and friends and neighbors. My feet felt numb, and feeling like reaching for a floor when there was no floor. They closed the truck door, and I heard the click of the lock, and the truck started on its way–-my thoughts then were–- what if the Jews were the conquerors and the Germans were the vanquished, would we do the same?

  What saved us from complete despair was that we were together. We prayed silently, while we knew that we were praying the same prayers. Not a single person spoke. A woman sobbed and wiped her nose in a handkerchief. Another woman was holding a young baby and patting the baby on the back to quiet it; and it worked for a little while, but the baby was hungry and there was no food. She put her finger in the baby’s mouth, and he sucked on her finger. But it was not food, and everyone knew that the baby would soon cry again.

  An old man was bending his knees as though he needed to sit. Finally he fell down, but he seemed to be more comfortable, even though his legs jotted out and twisted in-between the legs of other men. We rode over bumpy roads. All of us listened most intently for turns and stops, trying to figure out where we were going. We had become spies for ourselves–watching, looking, seeking, searching, and in our hearts–-running away from the terror–-in our minds, however, it was our imaginations that saved us, because there was always that one percent of all of us that could not believe that this was happening!

  And then, just when our patience was exhausted and the agony of our discontent and fears began to surface, the truck stopped. Not that my fears were allayed, but I thought that we would be able to breathe in fresh air, and I was right–at least that way I felt that we were treated more like humans and not like cattle.

  The back doors were opened with the sound of a jerk and then a big pull. And in the same moment of almost lost consciousness from lack of air, we were told to get out. As we jumped off the back of the truck, a moist mist sprinkled upon us from above. We looked up and saw that it was coming from a very large cloud.

  We were told to follow the soldier who was in front of us. We followed one lone guard. We marched single file along a winding dirt trail, and came to a large fenced in area, which looked just like a pen. We were told to go in. Hundreds of people were already there. The fence was a mesh wire, a thin mesh wire, a flimsy wire I was thinking. Sam and my father were thinking the same thing. One lone guard walked up and down the front of the pen. He carried a rifle on his shoulder.

  Sam, my older brother, who had the same height and coloring as the German soldiers made believe he was blowing on his hands and motioned to my father that he was going to the back of the pen. Joseph understood. Sam pushed his way politely past the people and quickly lifted the wire and crawled underneath and disappeared into the nearby woods. My father followed him. Then I followed. Then my brothers went under the fence quickly like two snakes, and then my mother and my sister went under the fence together. My mother always had to hold my sister’s hand. My mother’s eyes were watery, but she knew she had a chance to escape, and she soon joined us in the woods. I was proud of Sam. I was proud of myself. We had done a good evading the Nazis. We had escaped. We had escaped quickly. No one complained on us either. Others must have followed us after we had gone.

  CHAPTER 5

  GETTING OUR NAMES OFF OF THE GERMANS LIST

  We had prepared, but as Joseph commented just as he felt we were safe from any German pursuers, we had taken too big a chance. Joseph suggested that we use strategy. Joseph suggested that the next time that the Germans came that he would go and escape through the attic. That way he could come later to rescue us. All agreed. In the meantime, Joseph said, “I must tell my foreman to take our names off of today’s roundup list. We slept in the woods that night. We were hungry, but a safe place to sleep was our concern.

  Joseph reached the house of his friend and foreman and wiping off the sweat from his brow, and a little dizzy from the long walk and not having eaten for at least eight hours, he knocked on the window pane of the living room. “Hurry up”, he muttered to himself, and breathed a sigh of relief as he saw a figure from the back of the room coming forward and he could make out the features.

  The figure came closer and closer until he stopped and looked out the window, looking sharply in every direction as he deftly placed his hands under the bottom of the window and yanked the window up. He motioned with his left hand out of habit and said softly, “come quickly”, and Joseph very quickly put his head through the window and placed his hands evenly on the bottom sill and heaved himself up. He landed with the bottom of the soles of his shoes firmly pressing against the ground and he sprang forward. “Please”, he beckoned in a pleading voice, “help me and my family”.

  Frank nodded his head up and down and then with the furrows of the brows becoming more pronounced, he said, “I know the assistant to the mayor of the town.” You must stay here in this room. Danielle will bring you food. You must not leave until I get back, and he looked at Joseph with a very serious expression on his face. Joseph replied, “I will listen to you. But when will you be back?” Frank asked, “Is there an emergency?” Joseph replied, “Yes. I left Anna and the children in the woods”. Frank paused, with the left index finger under his chin, and said, “I shall be back in two hours.” Joseph nodded his head up and down, sighed by blowing some air out of his mouth, and smiled. He sat down in the large green velvet chair and waited.

  Frank shut the front door quickly as he ran down the stairs. He passed many houses on the street. He passed two Nazi soldiers, but they did not stop him. They were talking and smiling as they walked along the sidewalk. Frank turned quickly into a side street and walked a few paces and came to a house on the top of the hill that was surrounded by fresh green fertile grasses. He walked up the brick laden walk and before knocking on the door, he swiftly turned his head and looked around to see if anyone was there.

  He knocked on the door twice and a little, elderly, frail-looking lady opened the door a few inches and peered through the opening, while saying, “What can I do for you Frank?” Frank quickly interjected, “I must speak to Bernard immediately,” and he had a stare coming out of both gray-green colored eyes. The woman opened up the door and said, “very well, come in please, and quickly”, and she closed the front door very swiftly. Frank ascended the light blue carpeted spiral stairway. No time for even taking a few breaths after he reached the top step, he darted down the wide hallway, passed three bedrooms, and reached the fourth bedroom, which served as a library, in the matter of a few minutes.

  He knocked gently on the door and a voice
quickly answered, “Come in, please”, and nodded his approval by waving his right hand two times. Bernard said, “what brings you here so early in the morning?” Frank said, “Joseph Freier has escaped from the Germans and would like to have your approval. Bernard bit hard on the thick and well-buttered toast he was eating and said, “three hundred dollars and his name will be off of the German list”. “But”, Frank stammered, “what about Anna and the children?” “Oh, I will throw them into the bargain”, and he bit harder into the piece of toast and reached for a hard boiled egg. Frank stammered, “I will bring you the money”. Bernard waved his left hand towards the door and said, “Then it is done”. Frank descended the stairway quickly, jumping over the last three steps. He saw the lady standing by the door and he said as he held the brow of his brown cap, “thank you very much”, and he departed, becoming quickly a dot in the horizon.

  He walked quickly at a hurried pace, careful to look ahead and behind himself, though every few minutes. He unlocked the strong wooden front door to the house and Joseph could hear the thick footsteps as the leather soles of Frank’s shoes stepped firmly on the cushioned rug. Frank said, “It is all set for $300.00.”

  And he paused, “you do have the money”, he said in a polite tone of voice. Joseph did not hesitate so he came forth and said, “I have the money at my house”. Frank said, “Fine then”. And he paused and shaking a bit, he said, “We shall go together just as soon as it is really dark out”. Joseph nodded and pondered for a while for the best way to go with the least problem of detection by the Germans or any of their spies. He then said to Frank, “I think that the best way to go is by car” And he paused for a moment and then asked with a questioning tone of voice, “Do you have petrol?” Frank said, “Don’t worry about it! We will make it to your house and back easy”. It was really dark out and it was after 8 o’clock and with a hot thermos in his hands and some freshly baked bread, he said, “Joseph, open up your side”, and they left with a sputter of smoke from the exhaust and a yanking, cranking sound of the clutch.

  They rode on the back roads and wherever there was light and when he was able to see the road, Frank dimmed the lights. They had ridden for fifteen minutes when Frank said, as he cleared his voice, “It may be too far to the Jewish quarters”. They rode for another 20 minutes along the hills and curves, the car reacting with an occasional sputter, and gaping noise as the car descended into a hole in the road and then by its own force, pushed itself out. “Aha, I see the house on top of the hill”, Joseph shouted and he smiled, thinking, at least there is a home to go back to”.

  As they got out of the car, Joseph shouted, “come with me to the back yard”, and with a slight grunt and a look of questioning, Frank followed. “You see that big tree over there?” Joseph said, and he pointed to it, as Frank wiped his eyes with a handkerchief and nodded his head, as he said, “yes”. “I will walk five feet from the branch that is hanging down, and then I will dig for the money”.

  Frank rubbed his brow, and watched carefully. Joseph counted as he walked the five feet and then cropping down on the ground, he started to dig with his hands. “Here”, Frank said, “as he struggled to pull off his jacket with both hands at the same time, “I will help you”, and he cropped down and started grabbing the earth and then throwing it over his shoulder. Joseph felt a tin box and said to Frank, “We shall have the money in a minute”. Lifting up the tin box, he winced as he said, “I am hoping that we will all survive this war”. Frank nodded, but then noticed a second box underneath. What may I ask is this second box for? The second box contains the family’s Bibles. And the tin box which is below that one contains the family’s jewels which have been handed down for generations.

  They were in the car a few minutes later. Frank loaded up with $300.00 cash and Joseph took $200.00 for himself. When they came near a bend in the road, Joseph pointed as he said to Frank, “Do you see that clearing where the trees have been cut down?” Frank squinted and then focused and then said, “Yes, I see it”. “Well, let me off there”. Frank put his feet on the clutch, and on the brake, and stopped the car, and placed the shift in the correct slot, and then released his left foot from the clutch, and his right foot from the brake, feeling a gnawing sensation that pulsated every once in a while in the middle of his knee cap.

  Joseph left the car quickly and Frank put the car into gear and the car darted, inched back, jerked and then propelled forward. Joseph bent his head and held his hands in the front of his face as he walked slowly and carefully to the clearing where he had left Anna and the children. “Not too far”, he said to himself, “have been in these parts so many times looking for lumber”, and he paused as he reminisced, “so many times I took a crew into these woods and we chopped down the logs and hauled them away” He shook his head out of disbelief as he muttered, “I never thought I would find it handy in escaping from the Germans”. He shook his head several times. He stopped once or twice and looked up, while he was making his way through the thick, and tall, and untouched multitude of the cluster of trees.

  His mind veered, thinking about the Sabbath and how Anna took all day to prepare for the Sabbath. She cleaned the house, dusting and sweeping for most the morning. In the afternoon, she collected her apples, and walnuts, and raisins; and remembering all of the ingredients by heart, she rolled out the dough for the strudel and then put in the chopped apples, and walnuts, and raisins, remembering to roll the dough with its precious contents several times over. The strudel was finished always within the hour and everyone ate to their heart’s content. There was always a full table of food for the Sabbath.

  Anna grated all of the potatoes and a few big onions and mixed the mixture with a little bit of flour and two eggs and then in one hour, behold, the whole house smelled of cooked potato pudding. Who could resist eating this fine baked food?” There was rice pudding occasionally and there were always at least two well baked chickens, which were bought special from the kosher butcher. There was always the delicious chicken soup, which warmed our hearts and our souls in the winter time and also in the hot weather—all year round soup–to slurp up quietly and roll your eyes from side to side as you look at everyone else at the dinner table, and blow hard at the smoke coming from the soup on your tablespoon.

  The aroma of the barley and the corn and other vegetables all melded together to make you sense the sweetness of the good food. It was satisfying to say the least. The stoves were kept heated all night, provided warmth, particularly, on very cold winter nights. The melding of the large brown beans with the long, peeled potatoes with eggs, left to cook in their shells was more than satisfying. Ah, but to sit at the Friday night meal at the Sabbath and at the luncheon after morning services”, and he repeated the words, “the Sabbath over and over again”. Tears started to flow and he had to stop where he was in the middle of the woods and headed to a destination where he left his wife and his children. He had trouble stopping these overwhelming thoughts. He cried out, “why?” and fell to his knees prostrate to the ground. He remained in this stupor for what seemed like an eternity and cried.

  A bird flew over him and landed on a tree branch that was above him. The bird chirped sweetly and softly and moved its head from left to right. Like a bell startling a person who is contemplating deeply, the bird startled Joseph and as he wiped his eyes with his clean, white linen handkerchief and he blew hard as his lips stretched and moved forward. He had faced death and bad times before, but he said to himself, “never like this”.

  A voice shot out of the wilderness as though one of the trees were talking. A young male’s voice called out with a strong sense of authority, “who goes there?” And Joseph smiled as a cracking noise from one of the bramble brushes gave way and tore under his left boot. Joseph called out loudly with his chin up, “it is your father, Sam”. And like lightning a figure darted out from behind the huge trunk of the tree that was about three yards in front of Joseph. In the middle of the sil
ence of the woods, two men ran to each other and hugged each other tight, clinging to express the miracle of being alive and being well in a war that promised to kill all of the Jews.

  “Father, you must be tired and hungry. Let me help you”, and Joseph, a man of 45 yielded and the son held his father’s arm tightly and they walked towards the clearing. They soon saw Anna and the children. The boys had devised a game just like hopscotch and with a stick Martin was etching out the numbers to put into each square. Martin was jumping from square to square as the other boys looked on and cheered. Edith was holding a doll, which Bernard had managed to whittle out of a large tree branch. Anna was mixing berries and mushroom in a hold in the ground. Anna waved and looked up to the sky and stood up and said, “Come, have some berries and mushrooms. And she paused as she walked closer to her husband, while smiling at him.

  Anna and Joseph hugged tight and the children surrounded them. Joseph said, “let us hold hands and dance and Anna nodded, and they danced until they could no longer dance and they lay where they had danced panting for breath, while their faces were beet red. The sun shone bright upon them in a funnel-like radiance clear through the intermingled branches of trees and leaves, which were higher than seven feet tall. They lay staring in wonder—breathing in the free and pristine air, blotting out the terror that was real and that surrounded them and was ready to gobble them up. “How to survive”, was the thought that ran through Joseph Freier’s mind, and he squinted through his thick glasses and shook both fists several times and then looked up to the sun and then bowed his head. His heart ached for his former way of life; his heart ached for all of the people that he knew. His heart ached for all of his nephews and nieces, brother and sisters, and for Anna’s family. Anna, he thought was one of eleven children. One brother, Ben, had already gone to the United States and he met a young woman, who was a nurse and he married her. Anna’s youngest brother, Eleazar, had been smuggled out of Czechoslovakia and had made it to Israel. He thought to himself, “at least two are safe”. He paused for a moment and smelled the running water, which was hidden from sight because there was a huge rock in the front of it. “Come”, he said softly, as he extended his hand to Anna and helped her up from the forest ground. “We will go back to the house”, he said. Anna bit her lip and hesitated and then spoke, “but will we be safe from the Nazis?” Joseph explained, “Frank and I visited with Bernard, and it is all set. Come let us go”. They walked slowly and gracefully fitting in with the mood of the forest. It was nighttime and the nighttime air already was foreboding of a cold and bitter winter.