Only Uni

by Camy Tang

  A new smell wafted into the room, rivaling the other in its stomach-roiling ability. Venus waved her hand in front of her face. “Pffaugh! What is she cooking?”

  Trish’s face had turned the color of green tea. “You’re lucky you don’t have to eat it. Whatever it is, it ain’t gonna stay down for long.”

  “Just say you still have morning sickness.”

  “In my ninth month?”

  Venus shrugged.

  The door slammed open. “Hey, guys — blech. ”

  Venus twisted around to see her cousin Lex doubled over, clenching her washboard stomach and looking like she’d hurled up all the shoes littering the foyer floor.

  Lex’s boyfriend Aiden grabbed her waist to straighten her clenched posture. “Lex, it’s not that bad.”

  “A locker room smells better.” Lex used her toes to pull off her cross-trainers without bothering to untie them. “The men’s locker room.”

  “It’s not me,” Jenn declared. “It’s Mom, ruining all my best pots.”

  “What is she doing? Killing small animals on the stovetop?”

  “Something for the baby.” Trish tried to smile, but it looked more like a wince.

  “As long as we don’t have to eat it.” Lex dropped her slouchy purse on the floor and walked into the living room.

  Aunty Yuki appeared behind her in the kitchen doorway, bearing a steaming bowl. “Here, Trish. Drink this.” The brilliant smile on her wide face eclipsed her tiny stature.

  Venus smelled something pungent, like when she walked into a Chinese medicine shop with her dad. A bolus of air erupted from her mouth, and she coughed. “What is that?” She dropped the game controller.

  “Pig’s brain soup.”

  Trish’s smile hardened to plastic. Lex grabbed her mouth. Spenser sighed. Aiden looked at them all like they were funny-farm rejects.

  Venus closed her eyes, tightened her mouth, and concentrated on not gagging. Good thing her stomach was empty. She clutched her midsection.

  Aunty Yuki’s mouth pursed. “What’s wrong? My mother-in-law made me eat pig’s brain soup when I was a couple weeks from delivering Jennifer.”

  “That’s what you ruined my pots with?” Jennifer steamed hotter than the bowls of soup.

  Her mom caught the yakuza-about-to-hack-your-finger-off expression on Jenn’s face. Aunty Yuki paused, then backtracked to the kitchen. Thankfully, with the soup bowl.

  “Papa?” Matthew’s voice sounded faint.

  Venus turned.

  “I don’t feel good.” He clutched his poochy tummy.

  “Oh, no.” Spenser grabbed his son and headed out of the living room.

  Then the world exploded.

  Just as they passed into the foyer, Matthew threw up onto the tiles.

  Lex took one look and turned pasty.

  A burning smell and a few cries sounded from the kitchen.

  Trish sat up straighter than a Buddha and clenched her rounded abdomen. “Oh!”

  Spenser held his crying son as he urped up the rest of his afternoon snack. Lex clapped a hand to her mouth to prevent herself from following Matthew’s example. Jenn started for the kitchen, but Matthew’s mess blocking the foyer stopped her. Trish groaned and curled in on herself, clutching her tummy.

  Venus shot to her feet. She wasn’t acting Game Lead at her company for nothing.

  “You.” She pointed to Jenn. “Get to the kitchen and send your mom in here for Trish.” Jenn leaped over Matthew’s puddle and darted away. “And bring paper towels for the mess!”

  “You,” she flung at Spenser. “Take Matthew to the bathroom.”

  He gestured to the brand new hallway carpet.

  Aunty Yuki would have a fit. But it couldn’t be helped. “If he makes a mess on the carpet, we’ll just clean it up later.”

  He didn’t hesitate. He hustled down the hallway with Matthew in his arms.

  Venus kicked the miniscule living room garbage basket closer to Lex. “Hang your head over that.” Not that it would hold more than spittle, but it was better than letting Lex upchuck all over the plush cream carpet. Why did Lex, tomboy and jock, have to go weak every time something gross happened?

  “You.” Venus stabbed a manicured finger at Aiden. “Get your car, we’re taking Trish to the hospital.”

  He didn’t jump at her command. “After one contraction?”

  Trish moaned, and Venus had a vision of the baby flying out of her in the next minute. She pointed to the door again. “Just go!”

  Aiden shrugged and slipped out the front door, muttering to himself.

  “You.” She stood in front of Trish, who’d started Lamaze breathing through her pursed lips. “Uh . . .”

  Trish peered up at her.

  “Um . . . stop having contractions.”

  Trish rolled her eyes but didn’t speak through her pursed lips.

  Venus ignored her and went to kneel over Matthew’s rather watery puddle, which had spread with amoeba fingers down the lines of grout. Lex’s purse lay nearby, so she rooted in it for a tissue or something to start blotting up the mess.

  Footsteps approaching. Before she could raise her head or shout a warning, Aunty Yuki hurried into the foyer. “What’s wron — !”

  It was like a Three Stooges episode. Aunty Yuki barreled into Venus’s bent figure.

  “Ooomph!” The older woman’s feet — shod in cotton house slippers, luckily, and not shoes — jammed into Venus’s ribs. She couldn’t see much except a pair of slippers leaving the floor at the same time, and then a body landing on the living room carpet on the other side of her. Ouch.

  “Are you okay?” Venus twisted to kneel in front of her, but she seemed slow to rise.

  “Venus, here’re the paper towels — ”

  Jenn’s voice in the foyer made Venus whirl on the balls of her feet and fling her hands up. “Watch out!”

  Jenn stopped just in time. Her toes were only inches away from Matthew’s mess, her body leaning forward. Her arms whirled, still clutching the towels like a cheerleader and her pom-poms.

  “Jenn.” Spenser’s voice came down the hallway toward the foyer. “Where are the — ”

  “Stop!” Venus and Jenn shouted at the same time.

  Spenser froze, his foot hovering above a finger of the puddle that had stretched toward the hallway. “Ah. Okay. Thanks.” He lowered his foot onto the clean tile to the side.

  Aiden opened the front door. “The car’s out — ” The sight of them all left him speechless.

  Trish had started to hyperventilate, her breath seething through her teeth. “Will somebody do something?!”

  Aunty Yuki moaned from her crumpled position on the floor.

  Smoke started pouring from the kitchen, along with the awful smell of burned . . . something.

  Venus snatched the paper towels from Jenn. “Kitchen!” Jenn fled before Venus even finished speaking. “What do you need?” Venus barked at Spenser.

  “Extra towels.”

  “Guest bedroom closet, top shelf.”

  He headed back down the hall. Venus turned to Aiden and swept a hand toward Aunty Yuki on the living room floor. “Take care of her, will you?”

  “What about me?” Trish moaned through a clenched jaw.

  “Stop having contractions!” Venus swiped up the mess on the tile before something worse happened, like someone stepping in it and sliding across the floor. That would just be the crowning touch to her evening. Even when she wasn’t at work, she was still working.

  “Are you okay, Aunty?” She stood with the sodden paper towels. Aiden had helped her to a seat next to Lex, who was ashen-faced and still leaning over the tiny trash can. Aside from a reddish spot on Aunty Yuki’s elbow, she seemed fine.

  Jenn entered the living room, her hair wild and a distinct burned smell sizzling from her clothes. “My imported French saucepan is completely blackened!” But she had enough sense not to glare at her parent as she probably wanted to. Aunty Yuki suddenly found the wall ha
ngings fascinating.

  Venus started to turn toward the kitchen to throw away the paper towels she still held. “Well, we have to take Trish to the hospital — ”

  “Actually . . .” Trish’s breathing had slowed. “I think it’s just a false alarm.”

  Venus turned to look at her. “False alarm? Pregnant women have those?”

  “It happened a couple days ago too.”

  “What?” Venus almost slammed her fist into her hip, but remembered the dirty paper towels just in time. Good thing, too, because she had on a Chanel suit.

  Trish gave a long, slow sigh. “Yup, they’re gone. That was fast.” She smiled cheerfully.

  Venus wanted to scream. This was out of her realm. At work, she was used to grabbing a crisis at the throat and wrestling it to submission. Trish was heading somewhere without her, and the thought both frightened and unnerved her. She shrugged it off. “Well . . .Aunty — ”

  “I’m fine, Venus.” Aunty Yuki inspected her elbow. “Jennifer, get those Japanese Salonpas patches — ”

  “Mom, they stink.” Jenn’s stress over her beautiful kitchen made her more belligerent than Venus had ever seen her before. Not that the camphor patches could smell any worse than the burned Chinese-old-wives’-pregnancy-food permeating the house.

  At the sound of the word Salonpas, Lex pinched her lips together but didn’t say anything.

  Aunty Yuki gave Jenn a limpid look. “The Salonpas gets rid of the pain.”

  “I’ll get it.” Aiden headed down the hallway to get the analgesic adhesive patches.

  “In the hall closet.” Jenn’s words slurred a bit through her tight jaw.

  Distraction time. Venus tried to smile. “Aunty, if you’re okay, then let’s eat.”

  Jenn’s eyes flared neon red. “Can’t.”

  “Huh?”

  “Somebody turned off the oven.” Jenn frowned at her mother, who tactfully looked away. “Dinner won’t be for another hour.” She stalked back to the kitchen.

  Even with the nasty smell, Venus’s stomach protested its empty state. “It’s already eight o’clock.”

  “Suck it up!” Jenn yelled from the kitchen.

  It was going to be a long night.

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