Midnight Ballerina

by Cori Williams

  I released a breath, knowing my rant was finally over and it felt good to get off my chest. That is, until I glanced at Miller, who looked royally pissed off. I was surprised that there wasn’t steam coming out of his ears. His lips were pursed and his eyes were stony, his jaw working tightly until he finally opened his mouth, but I never expected to hear the words that came out.

  “Get the hell out of my house, Monroe,” he bit out and I took a step backward like he had slapped me in the face. He might as well because it certainly stung that much.

  “What?”

  “Get. Out. Now.” He pointed toward the front door and I saw Abby smirk at me from behind Miller.

  “Miller, can’t we talk about this? I know what I said was harsh, but—”

  “Just stop,” he yelled and I jumped in place, never hearing that harsh tone directed at me before, and it scared the hell out of me. I grabbed my purse off the back counter as I walked past it and headed straight out the front door, needing to get the hell away from here now. I didn’t know what to do. Miller and I never fought, he never got angry with me.

  “Fine, I’m leaving, but when I come back, we need to talk about this.”

  “Don’t come back tonight, Monroe. I need some time to cool down.”

  “What are you talking about?” I pressed a shaking hand to my chest, my heart doing something strange in there at his words.

  “I mean, we need some time apart right now,” he said, his tone void of any emotions as he stared over my head, looking everywhere but into my eyes.

  “Are you kidding me?” I shrieked. “Because of your mom? You do remember how she’s treated you all of these years, right? And now you’re just going to welcome her back with open arms? She’s using you Miller, just like she always had. She’ll ask for money, trust me. And you’re going to feel like an asshole when she does.” Miller winced slightly but shook his head.

  “You need to leave. Now.” It cut me to the core to hear him talk to me like that.

  “Fine. I’m going.” My voice broke and I could feel my throat closing up, the tears right on the verge of spilling out, and I was doing everything in me not to break down in front of him. I was a strong girl.

  And then he went back into the house without another word, slamming the door in my face and wrecking my whole heart. I couldn’t keep the sobs in any longer as I collapsed to my knees on his front porch, trying to comprehend what just happened, but it was impossible.

  THE FIRST NIGHT that I left Miller’s was a little rough to deal with, he tried to call me the next morning but by then I had time to think. How he had treated me hurt beyond belief, especially since I was just trying to protect him, so I wasn’t quite ready to talk to him yet.

  But it had been a week and I still hadn’t talked to him. He didn’t try to call again, and I stubbornly refused to call him.

  “Sweetie, Tanner’s here.” Amelia poked her head in the door and I sat up quickly.

  “What? Why is Tanner here?”

  “Um…he has some of your stuff.” Amelia stood there gauging my reaction and I jumped off the bed, having to see it with my own eyes. I couldn’t believe that Miller would just send my stuff over, without a word, effectively ending our relationship. My insides were a mess as I rounded the corner of the hallway, the thought of us being over just like that. I couldn’t handle it. It was our first fight, and while I know Miller was beyond pissed, it seemed like dumping my stuff at Amelia’s was a little bit of an overreaction.

  And very final.

  My feet came to a stop as soon as I entered the living room to find Tanner standing there with five garbage bags sitting by his feet. “Hey, Monroe. How’s it—”

  “What are those?” I interrupted him, pointing at the black bags. It was pretty fitting that they were black as if to symbolize the death of our relationship. And Miller didn’t even have the decency to bring them over himself.

  “Uh….” Tanner scratched the back of his head. “I figured you two had talked about things. Don’t shoot the delivery guy. I just got asked to bring your stuff over. I talked to Amelia the other day and she told me you were staying here.”

  My eyes bounced back and forth between the two of them, wondering when they had even exchanged phone numbers, they’d never seemed to like each other enough to even want to. But I couldn’t even think about that right now.

  Luckily, I was able to stay with Amelia. Her and her parents finally had a major falling out after she ended up failing two classes. She couldn’t take it anymore, so she cut off all contact with them and found herself a tiny apartment that she could afford for now. I mentioned that Miller’s grandma was looking for some help at the restaurant, and she was hired on the spot. She wasn’t sure if she would be going back to school in the fall and I highly doubted that she would. It just wasn’t her dream.

  “Thanks for bringing my stuff over, Tanner,” I said robotically, trying to come to terms with what those black bags meant as I collapsed onto the couch. My head was spinning, body drained. Miller and I were done. Just like that.

  “Not a problem.” He rocked back on his feet, stuffing his hands into his pockets. “If it makes it any easier, I think Miller’s just about as miserable as you.”

  “Please don’t lie to make me feel better. I’m sure Abby’s taking care of him.” My lips puckered up, her name leaving a bad taste in my mouth. That woman was evil and I knew eventually she would leave Miller again.

  “I tried to talk some sense into him, but he wasn’t hearing it from me either.” Tanner rolled his eyes to the ceiling. “Mamaw’s not talking to him either, right now, since he was such an asshole. I still can’t believe he kicked you out.”

  “Me either,” I muttered, looking at the bags again that were sitting on the floor, reminding me once again, how easily Miller had shoved me straight out of his life. And there was no going back.

  “Well, you should probably be going now.” Amelia pushed him toward the door and I waved at him as Amelia shoved him out, whispering something in a hushed tone before she closed it behind him.

  “What was that all about?”

  “Huh?” She smoothed her hair down as she walked into the kitchen. “Oh, nothing, just Tanner being Tanner, you know.” She licked her lips before coming to sit next to me on the couch, smoothing back my hair. “Are you okay sweetie? When Tanner called earlier, I didn’t expect him to show up with all of your things. I can’t believe, Miller. You two are done just like that?”

  “I guess so,” I mumbled, shrugging my shoulders but not able to say anything else because I knew I would break down. I wasn’t going to let myself do that until I was alone. Amelia was my best friend and I knew she wouldn’t care, but I really didn’t want to be a sobbing mess in front of her because that’s exactly what was going to happen. I stood up, my bottom lip trembling already.

  “I think I’m going to go lay down for a little bit,” I told her without looking back, grabbing a few of the bags containing my things to drag behind me.

  “Okay,” she answered quietly. “Yell if you need me.”

  How did this happen? Everything was going perfectly between Miller and me and then his mom showed up and it all went to shit. A tear rolled down my cheek and I swiped it away but it was no use, they were continuously falling with no end in sight. I began to unpack some of my stuff with blurry vision, stopping to open the shoe box that was full of everything from our relationship. A box full of memories, reminders of what I’d lost. I squeezed my eyes shut, hoping that this was just some bad dream, but when I reopened them, the box was still sitting there, like a slap to the face. I kicked it with my foot and flopped back on my bed, groaning when my phone rang.

  I peeled my eyes back open to see who it was. Miller’s name flashed across the screen and I tossed my phone across the room, not having a clue why he would be calling me, probably to tell me not to bother coming back to work for him. Well, I didn’t have one damn problem with that.

  When I went to sleep that night
, I promised myself that I wouldn’t cry again and tomorrow, I would start fresh. I had talked to Nina, telling her that I needed a few days off, even though I felt bad about it considering I’d recently taken that time off to take care of my dad. I left out that Miller and I were having problems. And now we were broken up. I’m sure she would hear about it soon enough, but for the time being, I planned on continuing to work at the studio while I looked for another job. Or maybe she would still have that full-time position available, teaching night classes. Maybe things would work out for the most part.

  “Good morning, sunshine.” Amelia bounced on my bed, waking me up from a dead sleep, and I groaned, covering up my eyes to attempt to go back to sleep.

  “Leave me alone.”

  “Nope, not happening. Get that ass up, now.” She pulled on my arm and then my body was heading downward, sliding off the bed, and I landed hard onto the floor.

  “What the hell, Amelia?” My eyes popped open and I saw her standing there trying to hold her laughter in, but it was impossible and pretty soon, I started laughing too.

  “You are a hot mess, so get up, get in the shower and try to look semi-normal. We’re going shopping, then we’re having lunch, then you’re going into the studio, and then we’re going out tonight.”

  I was about to argue, but then I remembered how much of a bitch I’d been to Amelia and all along she’d been taking care of me with a smile on her face. “Okay, sounds good,” I replied, trying to sound a little chipper.

  I let Amelia drag me all around the mall, stopping in almost every store and only taking a quick break for lunch. All in all, it ended up not being too bad, but by the time we were done, I was ready to head into the studio. Dance had always been like a crutch for me. I was able to take my mind off of things and completely pour myself into it, and that’s exactly what I planned on doing.

  “Oh, Monroe. I’m so glad you’re back.” Nina hugged me as soon as I stepped into the office and I hugged her back.

  “Thanks, I am too.”

  “And how are you doing? I just happened to run into Maggie yesterday….” She trailed off, not needing to finish her sentence and I was glad she stopped there. I might have been feeling a little bit better, but if that subject was brought up, I don’t know how I would handle it. I didn’t want to break down in front of the kids in the middle of class.

  “I’m fine, but I don’t really want to talk about.”

  “Completely okay with me. Why don’t you take a little while by yourself in the studio before the students start showing up? Dance always helps me de-stress.”

  “Exactly what I need.” I blared the music, blocking out all the noise in my head that was trying to creep out again from where I had shoved it down today while out shopping with Amelia. I just let myself feel, transferring that into my steps as I glided across the room. I was exhausting myself before class even started, spinning around the room like a mad woman, but it was helping. I could feel the tension oozing out of my body, and when the door opened and the students started flowing in, I was happy to see them and was actually able to smile for real this time.

  “SEE? I TOLD you this would help.” Amelia grabbed both of my hands, pulling me onto the makeshift dance floor that was next to the pool. She’d talked me into coming to a house party she’d been invited to. “Right?”

  “Right,” I shouted back to her, wishing that I’d worn a bathing suit underneath the shorts and tank top I had on because the heat was already killing me. That pool looked really good right about now. I moved my hips to the music and Amelia squealed.

  “I was totally right, there’s my girl.” She moved closer to me, whisper-yelling into my ear over the music. “We should totally find a pole right now so you could work that ass. These guys won’t know what to do with themselves.”

  I rolled my eyes and bumped her in the side. “Yeah, that’s not happening.” I’d never date again. I should’ve stuck to my no relationship thing and I would’ve never ended up with a broken heart.

  We danced for a little while longer, until we needed our drinks refreshed, and then Amelia caught up with a few friends who were manning the bar. I was having a good time and hadn’t thought about Miller, since, well—I quickly stuffed those thoughts down, laughing along with Amelia as she told everyone her horrendous moving in story. She didn’t have a ton of stuff, since her parents refused to let her take anything from her room at their house, but she still had a helper. She still hadn’t told me who, but apparently whoever it was had to kick the previous tenant out of the unit that Amelia was supposed to be moving into. The landlord had overlooked the fact that they were still living there rent free.

  “Oh my God, let’s go this way.” Amelia pulled on my arm and I followed along as she led me to a group of chairs on the opposite side of the pool.

  “Mind telling me what that was all about?” I asked as she scooted her chair as close as possible to mine.

  “Carleton’s over there.” I followed where her finger was pointing, making a face when I spotted him dancing with a girl. “I figured you’d want to be far away from him as possible. I hope Franklin isn’t here, too.” Amelia’s second go around with Franklin had been very short-lived and I was glad. She was finally starting to be a grown up and do what she wanted.

  “I don’t see him.” I scanned the crowd with my eyes and couldn’t help myself when they landed back on Carleton. I hadn’t seen him since that night, which I didn’t mind. The girl he was with seemed to be enjoying herself, judging by the wide smile on her face, so I could only hope that he wasn’t an ass all of the time.

  “I have to pee and then I’ll get us some drinks. Do you need to go?”

  “No, I’m good. Meet me over by the pool. I see one of my sorority sisters.”

  “All right.” I attempted to go inside the house, but was quickly redirected to the port-a- potties around the side of the house. “Seriously?” I muttered to myself as I rounded the corner. Port-a- potties gave me the heebie-jeebies and I only used one if there was no other possibility. I considered sneaking into the house through a window or something and then I even considered a nearby bush, but finally, I willed myself to go in, plugging my nose and peeing in record time so I could get the hell out of there.

  “There you are.” I spun around after closing the door and felt my stomach roll when I realized who was standing there, an ugly looking smirk on his face. Some girls might think he’s hot, but I knew the type of person he was and that just made him ugly in my eyes. The collar of his Polo was popped up in that preppy-rich way, his hair slicked back, and he had on an expensive pair of pressed pants.

  Carleton.

  “Were you looking for me or something?” I crossed my arms over my chest. “Because you looked pretty happy with your date back there. Why don’t you go find her?” I moved to walk past him but he blocked my way. Every hair on my body stood on end.

  But then he held his hands up.

  “I just want to apologize for what happened, Monroe. I was a complete asshole that night. I had a bit to drink, which isn’t an excuse. I’m embarrassed to admit I get my way most of the time, so I let things get out of hand when you told me no. I just saw you at the club and assumed….” He scratched his head and I let out a loud sigh.

  “Well you know what they say about people that assume things, right?”

  He grinned, moving his hands to his pockets, rocking back slightly on his feet. “Yup. That guy that landed the nice punch to my eye must’ve agreed.”

  I stiffened slightly at the mention of Miller. “Well, you kind of deserved it, but thanks for the apology. Next time don’t be such an ass when you don’t get your way.”

  He laughed, nodding his head once. “I’m working on it.”

  “Good, I—” My words were cut off abruptly when a sharp pain ripped through my abdomen, doubling me over at the waist. It felt like my insides were being pinched as I tried to breathe through the pain. Carleton stepped forward, crouching down.

 
; “Monroe, are you okay?”

  I blew out a breath, the pain subsiding a little as I slowly straightened. “Yeah, I think so. I don’t know—”

  The ache flared again, only worse, and I bent over in another attempt to relieve some of the pain, but it didn’t help. My stomach started to turn at the intensity of the pain, and just as Carleton asked me if I’d had too much to drink, my throat tightened, a gagging noise released, and the contents of my stomach spilled onto his shoes.

  He jumped back, groaning loudly. “What the hell? You couldn’t have directed that the other way?”

  I ignored his words because in that moment I couldn’t really care less. I felt light-headed and the world began to spin. I tried to stay focused but it was no use and, I stumbled, attempting to brace myself on the wall, feeling the brick scrape against my back and arms. It barely fazed me. I blinked my eyes a couple of times, attempting to clear the spots from my vision. it was useless as my knees gave out and I slipped to the ground, finally letting myself succumb to the darkness that was trying like hell to pull me under.

  I THREW MY phone down, frustrated beyond belief that Monroe wasn’t answering my calls. I guess I probably deserved the cold shoulder, but it just meant I would have to go and find her then.

  The fact that Monroe wasn’t here or at home any more was eating away at me. It had taken everything in me to kick her out of my house that day, and yes, I had done it in the heat of the moment because what she said pissed me off beyond belief, but I never meant for things to get this out of hand. My heart doesn’t sit right in my chest without Monroe a part of my life.

  I heard someone come in through the front entrance, hoping that maybe it was Monroe, but I sat back in my chair once I saw that it was Tanner. “Hey, man, finished up for the day?”