Songs Unfinished

by Holly Stratimore

  “Of course it wasn’t your fault.”

  Shawn folded herself into Jaymi’s arms. “I miss her…I even miss my dad, but he hates me. I don’t even exist to him anymore. How can he do that? I’m his only child.”

  “I don’t know, sweetie, I don’t know. But you know what? You need to start being proud of yourself. Despite the way your father’s treated you, you need to know that you are something special. You’re an amazing person, Shawn, you just don’t know it yet.”

  Jaymi’s eyes moistened as she thought of her own mother. They lay back on the couch as she continued to comfort Shawn, combing her fingers through her hair and softly expressing her empathy. Shawn squirmed until she had worked her cheek up against Jaymi’s neck. She rubbed her face into Jaymi’s shoulder, drying her eyes on her sweater.

  “I think you’re amazing, too, Jaymi,” she whispered. She gently pressed her lips to Jaymi’s neck and placed featherlight kisses along the length of it. Jaymi gasped and her body quivered as Shawn’s lips traveled over her neck and up to her ear and then found their way to her mouth.

  Shawn climbed on top of her, kissing her firmly as she pressed herself against Jaymi’s body. Their hips rocked up and down, their lips still passionately tasting each other. Shawn yanked out Jaymi’s shirttail and then her hand made its way underneath to her breast. Jaymi felt her nipple harden under Shawn’s hand. Then Shawn reached down with her other hand and pressed her palm between Jaymi’s legs before she began to work the button on her pants.

  The phone rang.

  They ignored it. Jaymi peeled off Shawn’s pocket T-shirt and they rejoined lips. The phone was still ringing. Shawn unzipped Jaymi’s pants. The ringing stopped. Jaymi yanked off her sweater and Shawn began to unbutton her shirt.

  The phone rang again.

  Jaymi separated her lips from Shawn’s and breathlessly said, “I should answer that.”

  “No, don’t. They can leave a message.” Shawn leaned in to kiss her again, but Jaymi braced her hand to Shawn’s shoulder and stopped her.

  “It might be important,” she said. “It could be my dad. Or Nikki.”

  “Oh, all right. I’ll get it.” Shawn stumbled reluctantly across the room. “Hello…hello?” Shawn shrugged. “They hung up. Some asshole with the wrong number has lousy timing.” She gazed lovingly at Jaymi and took two steps toward her when the phone rang again.

  “God damn it!” She grabbed the receiver. “Hello? I know somebody’s there—I can hear you breathing. Who is this?”

  “They hung up again?”

  “Yes. That’s it—I’m not answering it again.” She ran back to the couch and hopped on top of Jaymi. “Now, where were we?” She leaned down to kiss her, but Jaymi scooted herself up into a seated position. “Hey, what’re you doing?”

  “You’re drunk, Shawn.”

  “Nah. Well, maybe just a little.” She giggled.

  “You’re drunk, you’re upset, you’re vulnerable. I am so turned on right now, but I’m not going to take advantage of that. I care about you too much.”

  “I don’t feel like you’re taking advantage of me. Really. It’s fine.”

  “But I do.” Jaymi knew it was the right thing to do, even though every nerve ending in her body was screaming in protest. Her clit was throbbing. She felt the fabric of her bra straining from the pressure of her swollen nipples. She wanted Shawn’s lips and tongue on her everywhere. She wanted to taste and feel every inch of Shawn’s body. God, give me strength. “I don’t want the first time we make love to be under these circumstances.”

  Shawn fell back into the corner of the couch. She found her T-shirt and stretched it over her body, as though to protect herself from Jaymi’s rejection. The hurt in Shawn’s eyes tugged at her heart and threatened Jaymi’s resolve. But she also knew it was a clear indication of Shawn’s vulnerable state. “So if the phone hadn’t interrupted us you wouldn’t have stopped me?”

  “Maybe. Maybe not. But then I might have regretted letting things go further.” The phone rang. “Ah shit. I’ll get it this time.” Jaymi zipped up her pants before she grabbed for the phone. “Hello?”

  “Jaymi. It is you, isn’t it?” The woman’s hesitant deep voice was barely audible.

  “Who’s this?” No answer. Jaymi flicked on the wall switch to the kitchen light and looked at Shawn, puzzled. “Hello? Who is this?”

  “Why won’t you meet with me, Jaymi? For my birthday? I told you, I’m your biggest fan.”

  Jaymi was gripped with horror and she hung up.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “It’s that nut from the chat. But how did she get my number?” Jaymi turned around to return the handset to its cradle. She picked up a sheet of paper from the bar. “Oh my God…what’s this?” she asked, holding it up and studying it.

  “That’s the damn write-up Karla gave me today.”

  “Oh my God.”

  Shawn walked over. “Yeah, I know, it’s bullshit.”

  “No, it’s your boss. That’s who’s harassing me.”

  “What? How can you tell?”

  “I just put the pieces together—your boss bugging you to meet me, coming up to you in the bar, knowing you were in Boston Saturday night. It all fits. She’s been stalking me and you just got caught in the crossfire.”

  Chapter Seventeen

  The lights were still dim on energy-saver mode when Shawn entered the warehouse the next morning at 5:15. She knew that, without fail, Karla arrived at 5:00 sharp every day. She bypassed the lockers, knowing she wouldn’t be removing her coat. She wouldn’t be punching in today at all.

  She turned down a short hall and saw that Karla’s office light was on and the door was ajar. She took a deep breath and hoped she hadn’t made a mistake in choosing to confront her alone. She hadn’t told Jaymi about her plan. But when Jaymi refused to call the police to report the harassment, Shawn knew what she had to do. There was no way she was about to let Karla off the hook.

  Shawn wasn’t afraid of her, even though Karla had four inches on her and outweighed her by at least fifty pounds. Hell, if I can fight off that Brinkman asshole, I can handle this bitch. She pushed the door open farther and stepped in, leaving it wide open. Karla’s chair bounced up and back as she jerked upright at the sight of her unexpected visitor.

  “Shawn—what the hell? What are you doing here?”

  “The jig’s up, Karla. The phone calls last night. The threats online—”

  Karla’s face hardened slightly. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  Shawn leaned forward and slammed her palms onto the metal desk. The bang echoed throughout the building. “The hell you don’t. Are you also going to tell me that’s not your black truck outside that we’ve seen following us after gigs?”

  “How do you know that’s mine?”

  “It’s the only car in the fucking parking lot, Karla. We’re the only ones here.”

  Shawn straightened up and braced for retaliation, but Karla just sat there. Her cheeks began to redden, and then to Shawn’s surprise, she pulled off her glasses, covered her face with both hands, and began to cry.

  Shawn hadn’t anticipated this reaction and she had no clue what to do. She glanced around for tissues, found none, then quickly trotted to the ladies room across the hall and returned with a wad of toilet paper.

  Karla collected herself and thanked her as she violently blew her nose.

  “I don’t know what to do,” she finally said through sniffles. She looked up at Shawn, her black eyes bewildered and pleading. “I’ve been lying to my husband. Every time I go see her play, he thinks I’m out with my friends, playing cards or at the movies or something. We got married right out of high school, but there’s always been something missing. I’ve questioned myself before, but I was scared to admit it. I love my husband and I don’t want to hurt him, so I managed to bury my feelings. But I haven’t been able to do that with Jaymi. I think about her all the time.”

  “Karla, what�
��re you saying? You think you’re gay?”

  “Shh!” Suddenly Karla sprang from her seat, causing Shawn to jump back, but she wasn’t headed for Shawn. She rushed past her and slammed her office door shut. She grabbed Shawn’s coat sleeve and yanked her down into a chair and sat beside her. “I think so, but how do I know for sure? I’m so confused. How did you know?” Her voice was panicked now, and Shawn actually pitied the frantic woman next to her.

  “You really want to get into that now? Here?”

  Karla gazed across the room and said dreamily, “I think she’s beautiful, don’t you? See? Why would I think that? I know it’s no big deal for a woman to think another woman is attractive, but it’s different with her. I want to look at her. I want to be near her. I even think about what it would be like to kiss her, and then I get all, well, you know.” Karla blushed and took a moment to collect herself. “If that’s what it’s like to be gay, then I must be gay, right?”

  “If I say yes, are you going to be pissed and look for an excuse to write me up again?”

  “I’ll tear that up, okay? You’re right, I shouldn’t have done that.” Karla stood and checked the clock. She cracked her door open and looked down the hall. After securing the door again, she returned to the seat by Shawn. “Just help me, please. Tell me the truth. I have no one else to talk to about this. Do you think I’m gay?”

  Shawn sighed and rubbed her tired eyes. “It sounds like it to me. And I think you’re jealous of me and Jaymi, and since you have a crush on her, that’s why you don’t like me.” She again braced herself for the backlash.

  Karla remained silent, her body rising and falling with each deep, shuddering breath. She slowly shook her head and spoke softly. “My gosh, you’re right. That’s what it is. A crush.” Karla’s voice faltered and her eyes grew dark as she stood up and began to pace. “Wait a minute—I thought you and Jaymi were just roommates. Are you more than that?”

  Oh shit…what are we? What do I tell her? It’s really none of her business. But if I tell her we’re together, maybe she’ll stop harassing Jaymi. But what if it pisses her off even more and it gets worse?

  “Well?”

  “Uh, yeah. We’re more than just friends,” Shawn finally blurted. There, at least that isn’t a complete lie.

  “Hmm.” Karla lumbered behind her desk and slumped into her chair. “I should’ve known. It’s not like I had a chance with her anyway.” In the distance, Shawn heard her coworkers shuffling into the building. Karla leaned forward and whispered, “Do you still think I could meet her someday? I really am a fan, you know.”

  Shawn cocked her head and studied her. “I don’t know, Karla. You really freaked her out.”

  “I won’t bother you guys anymore. I promise. And I won’t give you a hard time at work anymore, either. Really, I just want to meet her. You never know, maybe we could all be friends.” Her eyebrows shot up like a child hopeful of acceptance by peers at a new school.

  “Okay, okay. I won’t make any promises, but I’ll ask her, okay?”

  “Yeah, right. Okay.” The sound of footsteps outside the office prompted Karla to force her shoulders back and straighten her posture. Raising her voice slightly into her supervisory tone, she said, “Now you better go get punched in, Ms. Davies.” She smiled a crooked smile and winked as Shawn nodded and let herself out.

  Shawn went to work feeling completely baffled. On the one hand, she was relieved to know that it was Karla who had been following them, rather than someone tied to Brinkman. On the other hand, she wasn’t about to fully trust Karla, either. If she was gay, would she become more obsessed with Jaymi? Would she continue to take out her frustration and jealousy on Shawn, especially now that she knew they were more than friends?

  Her instincts were to quit and find another job. She needed to protect Jaymi. That would be just like you, wouldn’t it? Give up at the first sign of trouble. Or the next time she pisses you off, you’ll lose your temper and get yourself fired again.

  Would she be letting Jaymi down if she didn’t at least finish out the assignment? The employment agency might not give her another chance. She’d lose another reference, and who knew how long she’d be out of work. Then what? Jaymi will think all that talk of changing my ways was bullshit. Then she’ll really think I’m using her.

  Wait. I need to stick this out for me, not for Jaymi. Whoa. Where did that come from?

  Shawn made up her mind. Be a grown-up for once and deal with it. If Karla bothers Jaymi again, I’ll just report it to the agency. It’ll be her job on the line, not mine. I’m taking control of my life if it kills me.

  *

  Jaymi cringed as she approached her apartment and noticed that once again, Shawn was home but all the lights were off inside. Great, she thought, she probably had it out with Karla and she’s in there drunk and jamming on my guitar again. She made her way up the stairs, grateful that at least if she was playing, the volume was at a more reasonable level. She slipped her key into the lock and pushed her way inside.

  Her jaw dropped as she looked around the room in wonder. Scattered around the apartment were tons of lit candles. The mellow acoustic guitar sounds of Ed Gerhard were playing from the stereo. The table was set, complete with two glasses of wine and a bouquet of flowers in the center. An enticing aroma wafted from the oven, and its heat warmed the space.

  Just as Jaymi’s senses had completed absorbing her surroundings, Shawn appeared from the hallway, dressed in black khakis and a tan suede vest over a crisp white collared shirt. It was an outfit Jaymi had seen her wear for performances. And she looked damn good in it.

  “What’s all this?” she asked.

  “Well…” Shawn made her way around the bar and helped Jaymi off with her coat. “I got to thinking that we’ve never had a real date. And today I was asked if we were more than just roommates, and I didn’t really know how to answer.” She hung up the coat, slipped on oven mitts, and pulled a casserole dish out of the oven. “Hope you like chicken pot pie. Homemade, of course. My mother’s recipe.”

  Jaymi, who hadn’t been able to wipe the smile from her face since entering, made herself comfortable at the table. “Who’s asking about us?”

  “Karla. Who, by the way, confirmed everything—the chat, the phone calls, and she’s the one who’s been following us. Don’t worry, though. She promised she’ll leave you alone—”

  “You confronted her? Shawn, I asked you not to do that.”

  “It’s okay, really. I wasn’t going to let her get away with harassing you like that. Besides, turns out she’s got this huge crush on you, and now she’s questioning if she’s gay. It was a wicked bizarre morning. But I think she’ll stop bugging both of us now. She even tore up that warning she gave me.”

  “I had a feeling it might be something like that. Well, good. I hope that’s the end of that nonsense.”

  Jaymi was initially a bit upset that Shawn went against her wishes, but it felt good to know Shawn cared enough to go to bat for her. She wouldn’t have had the guts—she hated confrontation. Look how well that’s worked out for you. Hold in your anger until it boils over, like you did with Nikki. Jaymi felt a new sense of pride in Shawn.

  “Mmm, that smells so good.”

  “Wait’ll you taste it,” Shawn said as she dished out two servings. “She still wants to meet you, though. I told her I wasn’t sure if you’d be comfortable with that, but that I’d ask.”

  Jaymi shrugged. “I don’t know. I have to think about it. If so, it would have to be in a public place. Like maybe at New Horizons, in the café. Actually, scratch that. It would have to be a place I never go regularly and don’t care if I ever go back. You know how I am about my privacy. It’s bad enough she found out where I live. Although now I understand how she got our phone number, obviously. I still don’t fully trust her after the stunts she’s pulled. And I want you to come with me.”

  “Oh yeah, definitely. I wasn’t thinking you’d meet her alone.” Shawn placed the food on th
e table, sat down, and unfolded a napkin onto her lap.

  Jaymi dug into her pie. “This is delicious. You really made this from scratch?”

  “All except the crust. I cheated this time and bought the dough. But if I have the time, I can make that from scratch, too. Glad you like it.”

  “I could get used to coming home to this.”

  Shawn blushed slightly and stabbed at her meal. They ate in relative silence, pausing between bites to share other tidbits about their day. After they finished, Shawn’s face suddenly released a beaming smile.

  “What?”

  Shawn wiped her lips with her napkin. “I’ve got good news and bad news.”

  “Okay…Which do I get to hear first?”

  “Actually, the bad news, as far as I’m concerned—and I hope you agree—isn’t really bad news at all.”

  “Shawn, what are you talking about?”

  “You’ve got your lead singer back.”

  “Nikki’s coming back? But how?”

  “I talked her into it. Well, I may have told just one little lie, but I had to do it. It was the only way I could convince her.”

  “All right, spill it. What happened? How’d you find her?”

  “Hey, I didn’t survive the streets of LA on my looks alone.”

  Jaymi smiled and raised her eyebrows. “You could’ve fooled me. Now come on, tell me what happened.”

  “Actually, it was all luck. After work, I ran into Randi at the supermarket. Nikki’s hiding out at her house. Randi invited me over for a drink, and I figured I’d check out the situation.”

  Stung by jealousy, Jaymi felt her ears grow warm. Randi’s attraction to Shawn had been obvious, and Randi’s reputation for seduction made Jaymi feel terribly insecure. She tried to shake the old feelings aside and listen to Shawn’s story.

  “Nikki was pissed when she saw me come in. I didn’t stay long enough to have a drink, by the way. I went right up to Nikki and told her the band was talking about breaking up if she didn’t come back.”