Charlie Next Door

by Debashish Irengbam

  She wanted to go out, but the monsoons were doing their annual swansong and it was bucketing down. After the nerve-racking hell of the past few days, she just wanted to rest. Perhaps take a nap. Yes, some shuteye would give her the energy and clarity she needed. Just ten minutes, at the most.

  After what felt to her like ten minutes, she woke up to see that her room and the surroundings outside had turned dark. She was appalled to see that it was after 7.00 p.m. How could anyone sleep for seven hours straight during the day? Why didn’t anyone wake her up? And why was she still feeling like crap? Fumbling around in the darkness, she flicked on the bedroom lights before walking down the corridor to see Misha curled up in the living room with a Coke, watching TV.

  ‘Heyy.’

  ‘Why didn’t you wake me?’ croaked Anupama.

  ‘You needed the rest, Mamma.’

  ‘How’s your brother?’

  ‘Good. He’s gone out.’

  ‘What? Why didn’t you tell me? What if he bumps into Charlie on the way?’

  ‘I don’t think that’s going to be an issue.’

  ‘Why?’

  ‘Because it’s Charlie he has gone out with.’

  She thought she had misheard. And then the moment passed, and her heart contracted, pumping spasms of cold terror through her arteries. So this was how it was going to end, after all. Her son murdering her lover, or vice versa. Who would have guessed that one day her life would have all the makings of a Greek tragedy? She marvelled at her daughter’s casual callousness, plugged into the idiot box while those two arch-nemeses were out somewhere doing God knows what.

  ‘Before you freak out, let me just tell you that they both seemed to be pretty cool with it,’ said Misha.

  ‘W—When did you see them?’

  ‘About an hour ago. They were on their way out as I walked in.’

  ‘Charlie was here?’

  ‘Yep. I thought you knew.’

  What was going on? Had she just stepped into an alternate reality? Or had the past few days only been a figment of her imagination? Why weren’t the cops here yet?

  Her head felt light. She had just collapsed in a heap on the nearest couch when she heard the door being unlocked from outside. Nimit entered, jingling the house keys, followed by Charlie, looking dapper in a shirt, jeans and a sling bag over his shoulder. Anupama hurried over to them, scanning her son and then Charlie for battle scars. Both of them appeared unscathed, well, as unscathed as they were to begin with.

  ‘Where were you two?’

  ‘Oh, we had just gone out shopping for a bit,’ replied Nimit.

  ‘Shopping?’

  ‘I owed this big boy a birthday gift,’ said Charlie, reaching into his bag and taking out a pair of what appeared to be a humongous pair of fancy sunglasses with straps that went all the way around.

  ‘Check it out! My first pair of Virtual Reality glasses!’ cried Nimit excitedly.

  ‘Nice,’ exclaimed Misha from the settee.

  ‘So … you are okay?’

  ‘Yeah. I mean, we had a long talk, and yeah, I guess, things are fine for now,’ said Nimit.

  Anupama threw Charlie an awed glance. It was all she could do to not hail him as the new Messiah on the spot. Was there anything he couldn’t do?

  ‘You got a minute?’ he asked, gesturing her to come aside.

  Anupama hesitated, glancing at Nimit, who was busy scrutinising his new toy.

  ‘Going in for a talk, buddy,’ Charlie said to him.

  ‘Sure, sure. Just leave the door open.’

  Rolling his eyes, Charlie strolled into her room, followed by Anupama. It was only when they were inside that she was able to articulate her stupefaction, ‘What just happened?’

  ‘You’re welcome.’

  ‘What did you do? How…?’

  ‘I’m a guy, Anu, and so is he. Let’s just say that when I put myself in his shoes, it became pretty clear what the right course of action was. Although, let me just add here that your birds-and-bees talk left him quite traumatized. Next time, try keeping those graphic details to yourself.’

  ‘What graphic details? I just said that we slept with each other.’

  ‘Eugh.’

  ‘Seriously? “Eugh”?’

  ‘I mean, “eugh” from his point of view. Why would you say that?’

  ‘I just wanted to be frank and honest with him for once.’

  ‘Anu, he is a sixteen-year-old guy with the hormones and sexual curiosity of a sixteen-year-old guy who has just discovered that his mother is seeing the bhaiya next door. The last thing he needs is frankness! Trust me. It’s a miracle he didn’t jump out the window.’

  ‘So, what did you tell him?’

  ‘I just figured out what his worst fears were, and then tackled them accordingly. He didn’t have a problem with me. He had a problem with what people would say about us, especially you. And of course, the whole thought of you, you know, doing it with anyone.’

  ‘He knows I’m human too, right?’

  ‘Again, speaking as a guy, let me just tell you that there are a couple of years of maturity to go before he can accept that. He is just learning to swim, Anu. At least let him paddle in the shallows for a while before shoving him into the deep end.’

  ‘So, what did you say?’

  ‘I told him just how pissed off I was with Sahil and how I had almost bashed him up to an inch of his life.’

  Her breath caught in her throat. ‘You did what?’

  Charlie held up his hand. ‘Let me finish. I also told him that I had warned Sahil that he would spend the rest of his life in a wheelchair unless he stayed mum about the issue or perhaps deny it claiming it was his dumb idea of a joke.’

  More than anything, it was the sheer pride on Charlie’s face as he narrated all this that alarmed Anupama. What kind of psycho had she introduced into their lives?

  ‘Obviously, it’s all fictional, Anu,’ he said, as if reading her thoughts. ‘I just said that to assuage his biggest fear of social stigma. And Sahil is in on it with me. Apparently, Mrs Mehtani gave him quite the dressing down as soon as they got back. He was genuinely remorseful and had to agree that this was the best course.’

  ‘But … it’s a lie.’

  ‘Which will ensure that the rest of your son’s school days pass in serenity.’

  She shook her head, trying to absorb it all, and failing miserably. ‘And – what about us?’

  ‘That was tricky again – thanks to your birds-and-bees talk. But in the end, he admitted he had no problem with me as a person. And when I assured him that I had absolutely no intention of taking his father’s place, he was ready to give me a chance as a close friend, at least. The only condition being that in the meantime, we don’t indulge in any hanky-panky without his consent.’

  ‘Are you kidding me?’

  ‘Well, it’s not like he stays home the whole day, you know. I’m just trying to give the chap the peace of mind he needs right now. What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him. That’s all.’

  Anupama sat down on her bed, breathing deeply. ‘This isn’t right.’

  ‘I know it’s not ideal. I’m just trying to buy some time.’

  ‘But that’s the thing, Charlie. We don’t have time. You are leaving in a couple of days. And then what?’

  Charlie grinned, his eyes lighting up. ‘I guess I’ve got something to tell you too.’

  He pulled out a sheaf of papers from his bag and handed it to Anupama. It was a stamped and signed rent agreement contract for Charlie’s apartment with the renewal period mentioned as:

  ‘One year,’ she said.

  ‘I got it extended.’

  She looked up at him in disbelief. ‘But … your photography course—’

  ‘I could always apply next year. If I’m still into it, that is.’ He sat down beside her, clasping her hand. ‘You didn’t really think I was going to abandon you in all this, did you?’

  Eyes moistened with relief and love, Anupama reach
ed for him and hugged him tight. He was a marvel at eradicating one’s worst fears. Charlie kissed her on the cheek warmly, burying his nose in her hair and breathing in deeply.

  ‘God, I missed this,’ he sighed.

  Slowly, they parted to face each other. Their eyes had just locked for what appeared to be a deliciously suggestive moment, when Nimit materialized in the corridor outside the bedroom door. He froze at the sight of them.

  ‘Hey, let’s not push it, okay?’ he muttered coldly.

  ‘It’s just a friendly hug, dude.’

  ‘Whatever!’

  30

  WhatsApp group: CHARLIE NEXT DOOR ;)

  Participants: Renu, Kay, Neena, Anupama

  Renu: Let me just start by saying what an honour it is to have a special guest with us today. Please welcome, for the very first time on WhatsApp since its inception, Anupama!!

  Neena: WELCOME DEAR! ☺

  Kay: Woot woot!

  Anu: Thank you, everyone. It’s good to be here.

  Renu: Now, the objective of this group is to formulate game plans and strategies to hitch up our dear friend with her dreamboat, and of course, have fun along the way. I hereby declare the session open.

  Kay: Again, why am I on this group?

  Renu: Because we need to get some perspective from the other side. And you’re the only male we know with enough faltu time on his hands.

  Kay left the group.

  Renu added Kay.

  Renu: Kay, stop being such a drama queen. We are here to focus on Anupama. Now, as we all know, things are going swimmingly on the Charlie front. I mean, I have to say, that whole ‘cancelling-the-course-to-be-with-you’ thing was just rom-com saccharine sweet.

  Kay: Awwwww…

  Neena: ☺

  Renu: However, now we are faced with the final hurdle of meeting the prospective mother-in-law who is arriving sometime today. Need an emergency brainstorming session to devise a suitable strategy.

  Kay: Why not just make a nice cup of tea?

  Neena: Because it’s not 1971.

  Renu: Plus, we have no idea what she is like. For all you know, she could be a tea hater.

  Neena: Or allergic to tea.

  Kay: No one’s allergic to tea.

  Neena: Of course, they are. It’s because of the tannins.

  Anupama: Why are we discussing tea?

  Renu: I suggest bowling her over with your ladylike charms. She should feel like she is in the hallowed presence of Queen Victoria herself. It should be an honour to meet you.

  Kay: Yeah, intimidate the Kolhapuris out of her! Make her feel like you’re the one judging her.

  Anupama: I want to be with her son, not take over her country.

  Neena: I have a suggestion, but it could sound a bit creepy.

  Renu: Go ahead.

  Neena: Just don’t judge me.

  Renu: C’mon Neena, we don’t have all day.

  Neena: Momma’s boy.

  Anupama: Sorry?

  Neena: You know, it’s said that every guy looks for his mother in his wife subconsciously.

  Neena: so from that logic every mother would be…

  Kay: I think I just puked inside my mouth.

  Neena: I TOLD YOU NOT TO JUDGE ME!

  Anupama: Neena, I’m not going to play his mother to impress his mother!

  Neena: It was just a shot! Okay?

  Renu: Put yourself in her shoes. Would you choose another you for Deven?

  Neena: I would be delighted to!

  Neena: Hello?

  Neena: What happened?

  Neena: I can see you guys are online!

  Renu: Let’s just move past the awkwardness. Anu, do you have anything in mind?

  Anupama: No.

  Kay: Well, that’s helpful.

  Anupama: I’m just thinking of going with the flow.

  Kay: Say what?

  Anupama: Like you said, we have no idea what she is like. Although according to Charlie she is the best woman God could have ever created on this planet.

  Neena: Ugh

  Anupama: So what’s the point of planning anything? If it goes well, great. If it doesn’t, oh well. Won’t be the end of the world, would it? Besides, it’s not his mother I want to be with, it’s him.

  Renu: Wow. I have to say I’m liking this new Anu.

  Neena: Seriously, babe, you are ready.

  Kay: Does Charlie have a brother?

  Anupama: Thanks guys! Wish me luck!

  Renu: Good luck!

  Neena: Hugs and best wishes dear!

  Kay: You’re gonna rock it!

  It was going to be a disaster. She knew it. She could feel it in her gut. Somehow, as the time of the fateful meeting ticked closer, the bravado that she had felt this morning began to seep out and evaporate. Why, oh why, had she agreed to this? Everything was going so well…

  What mother in her right mind would approve of her? How could one synopsize in a matter of minutes, and to a complete stranger, a connection that had taken her so long to understand and accept? And why meet over tea? Such a cliché. She could have invited her over for lunch and impressed her with her culinary skills, thereby setting a positive note to begin with. Or she could have arranged to take her out for shopping and bought her something special such as – what? A gift of some sort? What if she found it offensive to be treated like a mother-in-law by a woman of her own age? But isn’t that what she would eventually become if this thing were to go all the way? Who would ever consent to that? Not that she was in any position to object, having accidentally called her prospective son-in-law ‘sir’ four times during the past couple of times that she had met him, to Misha’s mortification. She wondered what kind of person Nimit would fall for, and subconsciously prayed for that soulmate to fall within the realm of social norms at least, lest it seem like she was using her whole family to prove a point. Nevertheless, she was conscience-stricken by the very thought. He had all the freedom to go for whomever he wanted. Not that she would have any leverage to disapprove.

  Her eyes remained glued to the clock. Almost five. Just a minute left.

  The doorbell rang stridently, startling her. Mrs Dhillon had arrived, one minute ahead of time. So, she was one of those people.

  Taking a deep breath, Anupama straightened her kurta, adjusted her dupatta, checked her hair, and then hurried to the door (before the lady felt compelled to press the bell again), unlocking it and pulling open the door to reveal – a rather mellow, simple-looking woman (about a foot shorter than herself) with large, wide eyes that crinkled as she smiled uncertainly. She had looked so much taller in her pictures.

  ‘Hello, I’m Mrs Dhillon. Chandr—Charlie’s mother.’ Her voice was sweet, low-pitched, like the last fading note of a flute symphony.

  ‘Hello, I’m Anupama. Please come in.’

  ‘Should I remove my shoes here or…?’

  ‘No, no, please don’t bother.’

  She stood aside as the petite lady stepped in, her eyes casually glancing around the living room as she made her way to the sofa. There was an effortless grace about her that you couldn’t help but notice. She seemed like the kind of woman who could fit into anyone’s party – non-intrusive, unassuming. ‘Nice place you have here.’

  ‘Thank you,’ said Anupama. Smile, breathe, nod. ‘What will you have? Tea? Coffee?’

  ‘I’m afraid my stomach is a bit too sensitive for caffeine. Anything cold will do, though.’

  ‘Juice?’

  ‘Perfect.’

  Although her heart was beating erratically inside her ribcage as she went to fetch the juice and ice, she was glad that the meeting was going a whole lot better than she had anticipated. No sign of animosity or awkwardness so far.

  Anupama: 1, Universe: 0.

  Five minutes later, they were both seated facing each other, sipping orange juice, exchanging pleasantries and smiles. It was only a matter of time before they would arrive at the crux of this conversation; but for now, she wanted to enjoy the company
while she could.

  ‘I have to say. I was quite surprised – and pleased – to hear from my son that he had found someone here. This city can be quite rough, I have heard.’

  ‘It really depends on the person,’ said Anupama, barely hearing her own words. She was surprised then? What was her reaction now?

  ‘I know. I believe I should thank you for taking care of him. He would often tell me how lonely he felt out here, before he met you, of course.’

  Ah-ha. Things were going much better than she had foreseen. ‘It’s hard to think of him as lonely. He’s always so upbeat and energetic.’

  ‘For the world, yes. But as they say, no one knows a boy like his mother.’

  Anupama nodded smiling, trying hard not to think of her own rather enigmatic relationship with her son. This wasn’t about her. Focus.

  ‘He was right about one thing. You are very pretty.’

  ‘Thank you,’ said Anupama, willing herself to keep from blushing. Bless Renu and her daytime make-up tips.

  ‘And very brave too, I must say.’

  ‘Brave?’

  ‘Of course. Not many would have the courage to do what you have.’

  Anupama smiled again, somewhat uncertain about the context. ‘Well, I couldn’t have done it without him, obviously.’

  Mrs Dhillon looked at her with placid eyes. ‘He said you are different.’

  ‘Yes … he said that to me too. I don’t know what exactly he means by that, though.’

  ‘It means that he saw something in you that he didn’t see in anyone else.’ The statement had all the features of being a compliment, yet something about her tone was edgy.

  ‘Oh, okay.’

  ‘You have two children, I believe.’

  ‘Yes, my daughter is in college, and my son is in school. He will be passing out next year.’

  Mrs Dhillon nodded. ‘Charlie told me. I was sorry to hear about your son’s accident. That must have been hard,’ she said.

  ‘It was. Thankfully, we are on the verge of moving on now.’

  ‘I’m glad to hear that.’

  Why was there this nagging feeling in the back of her head that there was something more to her questions? As if she was dithering on the brink of a portentous revelation.

  ‘He must have told you about his professions by now. The various fields he tried out and moved on until he landed here,’ said Mrs Dhillon.