Fluorescence: The Complete Tetralogy

by P. Anastasia

  “Yeah.” She looked down at her feet. “I’m fine. I just…”

  The staircase wasn’t the best place to stand and talk.

  I took her hand and walked with her up to the second floor. We sat on the top step and I wrapped my arm around her. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

  She nodded, her smiling eyes gazing into mine.

  “Good.” My thumb drifted over the strap of her tank, across the milky-white flesh of her bare shoulder. Then I pulled her in and gave her a little peck on the forehead.

  She giggled quietly and entwined her fingers with mine.

  “I love you, Brian,” she said, resting her head against me.

  “Wh-what?”

  “I said, I love you.” She squeezed my hand and looked up, the subtle sheen of her lip-gloss captivating me. “I’m sorry it took me so long to say but…”

  I cupped her face in my hands and kissed her again.

  She melted into me.

  Fingertips coiled in my hair.

  I dragged a hand down her back, holding her firmly but gently. Savoring the sweetness of her mouth. Hesitant to let her lips abandon mine. The warm scent of her skin drew me in and kept me close until a groan welled in her throat.

  “I love you, too,” I replied, barely breaking away to say it. I combed a hand through her hair and stared into her eyes. She stared back, piercing my heart with her eager, consenting gaze.

  A faint whimper escaped her lips and she shrunk back.

  “What is it?”

  “My heart,” she said, reaching up to touch her chest. “It’s beating so fast. Like it’s gonna burst right out of me.”

  “Mine, too.” I took her hand and flattened it over my heart, slipping her fingers in between the shirt buttons so they made contact with my skin.

  “I need you, Alice,” I whispered, tracing my thumb over her blushing cheek. “Only you.”

  “I know.” The breathy words poured from her mouth as her hands rose toward my collar. She started to unbutton my shirt.

  My throat tightened and I swallowed hard.

  The second button came free. Then the third. The final button came undone and I shrugged the shirt down off my shoulders, dropping it onto a step below.

  I stood and helped pull her to her feet. We took a step back from the stairs and she stumbled into me, an anxious grin stretching across her lips.

  “Come with me.” Hearing her wanton request made a breath catch in my throat. She pulled me past the threshold of her room, a devious look in her eyes.

  A sudden, dizzying rush of nerves hit me. My whole body trembled in anticipation.

  Alice shut the door and pressed her weight against me, slamming my back against the wall beside her desk. She slung her arms around my neck and pulled me down into another kiss.

  The heat of her body overwhelmed me, evoking primal desires. I wrinkled the hem of her shirt and slipped my fingers beneath it.

  Her lips parted from mine, but our eyes remained locked, those pale blue irises casting their spell.

  I clung to her hand.

  She led me toward her bed.

  Our breaths quickened.

  Fluorescence sparked to life in our veins, the vibrant colors glinting brighter than ever. Ethereal green swept up over her shoulder toward her collar bone, enchanting me with its intense glow.

  Coils of wild dark locks framed her face. I weaved my fingers through her hair and kissed her again, our weight sinking into the softness around us.

  A kiss to the side of her neck. Tasting the salt on her skin. Then my lips slid to the hollow of her throat, her head fell back and she gasped.

  A rush of heat washed over me. Vivid blue light flickered in the darkness and tiny bursts of color danced through the veins in my hand.

  Every nerve felt electrified. Alive.

  Restless fingernails pressed into my back and she whispered my name.

  The word was tangled up in a heated exhalation.

  And—for a fleeting moment—all of the fear and all of the uncertainty complicating my life faded away.

  . . .

  A soothing buzz settled my body and I closed my eyes, inhaling a deep breath. The comforting warmth of her bare skin pressed against mine calmed every anxious thought flitting through me. I felt at peace—invincible. It was a thrilling sensation of insecurities being stripped away, just like our clothing had been. Exposing vulnerabilities in an ultimate exchange of trust.

  She came up onto her elbows over me and stared into my eyes, a smile twisting her lips. Splashes of blush colored her skin. Moonlight filtered through the window blinds, accentuating the sweat on her body, making her shimmer.

  “You’re amazing, Alice. You know that?” I brushed her hair behind her ear and cupped her warm, glistening cheek.

  “Really?” She laughed. “Amazing?” Her eyes closed and she nuzzled my hand. “Then, why do guys make so much fun of girls like me? Girls who haven’t…”

  “First of all, I’m not one of those guys. And secondly, don’t believe what anybody else says.” I smirked. “Besides, it seemed like you enjoyed that.” I tangled my fingers into the disheveled coils of her hair.

  “I… did.” She bit her lip.

  “Good. That’s what matters to me.”

  She cuddled up close.

  Maybe things hadn’t gone exactly as we might have imagined they would, but it didn’t make it any less meaningful. Anyone who claims their first time wasn’t a little clumsy is probably either lying or had been with someone with far too much experience. I liked the awkwardness of it all. Every second of it was ours and ours alone. Unforgettable. Real.

  A mess alright.

  A perfect mess.

  I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.

  “Do you… think we should have waited?” Alice said, breaking the silence. She threaded her fingers through my hair, absentmindedly.

  Hearing those words made my heart sink.

  “Are you regretting it? Already?”

  She exhaled. Slowly. Fingernails dragged lightly down the side of my neck.

  “No.” She nudged her cheek against my chest. I felt her lips stretch into a smile. “No. Not at all.”

  “Good.” I embraced her tightly. “I don’t want you to regret anything that happens between us.”

  She closed her eyes, her fingers settling near the scar above my heart. I kissed her forehead and inhaled a deep breath. Her warmth on my chest made me feel complete. I lived only for her, and she for me, and we were meant to be together despite decisions the Saviors had forced upon us.

  “I want to marry you someday, Alice. You know? When all of this crazy stuff is said and done, I want you in my life. I want to wake up to you every day and… make love to you every night.” I massaged the back of her neck and a sigh of pleasure slid from her mouth.

  A warm tingle started in my fingertips and flushed through my arm. I lifted my hand and watched the neon veins twinkle and fade, pulsing and moving through me. Soft indigo-teal burning with flecks of white and neon green. The same glow tinted the fair skin of Alice’s shoulder.

  I smiled, the sight of our blended colors further satisfying the visceral need I’d had to make her mine. But now it would be even harder for us. Tonight, we’d had a taste of each other and there could be no going back.

  Chapter 6

  “I’m just glad the whole ordeal is over with and I won’t have to worry about it next year. It’s nice to see the house still intact, too,” Jane said with a smirk, getting up to take our plates off the table. She had returned home Monday while we’d been in school. I’d dropped Alice off earlier in the afternoon and had been invited to stay for dinner. We’d been sitting at the table for a while, listening to her talk about all the craziness she’d endured during her short trip.

  “You’re sure your mom’s okay with you being over this much? I don’t want her getting upset with me.”

  I tried not to scoff. �
�She doesn’t have a problem with it at all.”

  Truth was, Mom didn’t give a shit where I was. She was probably glad I’d up and left. Probably hoping someday I’d leave and never come home. “Thank you, Jane, for being so nice to me. Alice is lucky to have you.”

  Jane came up and gave me a hug. A big, tight bear hug like I was one of her own. It caught me by surprise. Awkward and nice at the same time. My mom never hugged me anymore. I couldn’t even remember the last time she had.

  Out of the corner of my eye, I caught Alice beaming.

  Jane released me. “I’ll be in the kitchen cleaning up. Take care, Brian. Be safe going home.”

  “Thanks, Jane.”

  She headed back over to the sink and Alice and I went into the garage.

  I didn’t want to say goodbye, though I had to. I’d fallen asleep beside Alice and woken up with her still there, within arm’s reach. It had been a perfect weekend. Exactly how I wished every day of the rest of my life could be.

  “I don’t know how I’m going to sleep now,” I said, looping my arms around Alice and resting them at her waist.

  “You will,” she said with a smile. “But it’s definitely going to be a little harder now. You just… felt so right, and for once I wasn’t worrying about anything else. Not school. Not the future. Not…” She looked down at her belly.

  “Don’t. Don’t ruin a good thing, Alice.” I lifted her chin with my fingertips. “We’ll be fine. You’ll be okay. I’ll see you every day. Somehow. I don’t care if I have to break some rules to do it, I’ll be here for you no matter what happens.”

  “Thank you.” She lifted herself up to kiss me. “I love you. Thanks for caring about me so much. For giving me the time I needed to make up my mind. Although…”

  “Alice, I want our relationship to last,” I said, sweeping a stray lock of her hair back over her ear. “I know things started off a little bumpy, but I feel like we understand each other better now. I’d never want to do anything to hurt you or push you away.”

  “Be careful going home.” She took my hand and heaved a sigh. Her eyes started to glisten. A hint of turquoise light shone through her shirt at her shoulder, the color appearing slightly greener than it had been last night. “I know it’s stupid to say this, but I feel like I’m letting a part of me go. It’s only for a little while, but—”

  I kissed her mid-sentence.

  “No,” I whispered, our lips almost touching. “No, Alice, it’s not a stupid thing to say. But you know I can’t leave if you don’t want me to.” I gazed sternly into her eyes.

  “I know.” She sucked in a breath and nodded. “I’ll be alright. I’m okay now.”

  It was hard on me, too, but I finally managed to get onto my bike and back on the street. I didn’t want to leave. I didn’t want to let her fingers slip from mine.

  A few seconds.

  Minutes.

  Hours.

  Any amount of time we spent apart felt like too much.

  . . .

  I left my bike in the garage beside my mom’s car and rummaged through my pocket for the house key. No point knocking. She wouldn’t come to let me in anyway. I went inside and headed for my room.

  No TV. No music playing. No clanking and clanging from her fumbling around in the kitchen because of her obsessive need to clean and rearrange. The silence unnerved me.

  Whatever.

  I wouldn’t let her get to me anymore. Not as long as I had something so much better to live for. Someone who actually loved me.

  I popped into my room, shut the door behind me and hopped onto my bed. I texted Alice to let her know I’d gotten back okay, then I flipped open my laptop and streamed a rerun of a late night comedy talk show I’d missed over the weekend.

  The quiet time was nice. While it lasted.

  Afterward, I crept out of my room and wandered into the kitchen to grab a glass of water. There were dirty dishes everywhere. I pulled open the cupboard door below the sink. The trash hadn’t been emptied recently either.

  It wasn’t like Mom to leave it for more than a day. I turned toward the kitchen table. Used utensils still scattered on top of wrinkled paper towels.

  What the hell?

  “Mom?”

  Silence.

  I checked the living room. Empty.

  “Hey, Mom?” I raised my voice.

  My stomach tightened.

  I’d seen her car in the garage.

  I knocked on her bedroom door.

  No answer.

  Shit.

  I turned the doorknob and held my breath, easing the door open.

  An empty room.

  My eyes scanned down.

  She was sprawled out on the floor beside her bed. Pale bare feet sticking out from beneath folds of her terry cloth robe. Her body motionless.

  “Mom!” My heart skipped a beat. “Mom!” I fell to my knees beside her and lifted her up. Saliva oozed from the side of her mouth. She let out a long, drowsy groan, barely conscious.

  “Jesus Christ, Mom! What did you do?”

  “Where’s your father?” she mumbled. Her face was drained of color, her hands freakishly cold.

  How long had she been like this?

  “Dad’s dead. Mom? What the hell happened?”

  Her eyes rolled back in her head and she slurred something I couldn’t understand.

  “Mom! Stay with me.” My heart was thumping so hard I thought I was going to have another heart attack. I scooted back, resituating myself on the carpet, and felt a hard crunch below my knee. I looked down.

  Pills.

  I saw the open bottle on the nearby dresser and reached for it.

  Alprazolam, an anti-anxiety drug. Part of her anti-depressant regimen.

  “Shit. How many of these did you take?” The bottle was empty and only a handful surrounded me on the floor. I’d picked them up from the pharmacy recently. There had to have been a few dozen left when I’d gone away.

  “Damn it, Mom.” I shook her gently, but she still didn’t respond. “I leave for a few days and… Shit!”

  I propped her up on my knee and held her with one arm while I scrambled for my phone.

  My hands trembled. I kept hoping my fluorescence would spark to life again, that it might do something—anything to help her.

  But it didn’t.

  Jesus, Mom…

  . . .

  I texted Alice during the ambulance ride to the hospital. Every other word coming out incorrectly. My nerves shot.

  It was just past 8:00 PM. Sunset. I hadn’t finished my homework for school tomorrow, but…

  Damn it.

  My mother may have been on the brink of death from a drug overdose and all I could think about was homework? What the hell was wrong with me!?

  The ambulance pulled up to the hospital and one of the EMTs flung open the back doors and hopped out to help his partner.

  I’ve seen scenes in movies with people bustling around the hospital ER, pushing, telling people to stay out of their way. Keep clear. Blood gushing everywhere from some tragedy or another.

  This was different. They wheeled my mom in on a gurney, corralled me into the empty white-walled waiting room, shoved a clipboard into my hands, and turned away, leaving me alone with a crummy pen and a long form demanding a bunch of medical history. I sort of wished there were other people in the room, but it was just me and the receptionist.

  My mouth was paper dry. My stomach wouldn’t stop churning, threatening to erupt. I swallowed hard and flopped down onto a waiting room chair. An uncomfortable, vinyl-covered metal chair. Hard. Cold. Barely large enough for an average person.

  I turned to the forms. Medical history. Prescriptions. Allergies. Primary physician. Emergency contact. Most teenagers don’t know shit about their parents’ medical histories.

  I knew more than I wanted to. More than I should have.

  I finished filling out the last page and clipped o
ur insurance card on top of the stack.

  “Thank you, hun.” The receptionist beamed a fake smile at me.

  I asked her what they were doing to Mom, but she shook her head and shrugged, telling me she wasn’t sure and wasn’t able to speculate.

  I lowered my head and scuffled back to my chair.

  Bull. My mom wasn’t the first person to ever OD on something. But I was at the mercy of the hospital staff, and there wasn’t anything I could do.

  Mom had been on the edge before but she’d never gone over it. Last time, I’d stopped her. This time? I had disappeared for a few days and…

  Damn it!

  I wasn’t supposed to be responsible for this kind of shit at my age. I was supposed to be a kid. A rebellious teenager doing stupid crap, living life. Getting into trouble with friends. Not taking my mom to the ER because she couldn’t keep her own life in check. Not worrying about glowing alien shit coursing through my body. Not worrying about a pregnant girlfriend whose baby wasn’t our fault even though the baby was supposedly ours.

  I kept busy in the waiting room by searching online for information about the drug Mom had taken. Overdosing on it could be fatal. They’d probably have to pump her stomach. There were other things they could do, but it was all dependent upon how much she’d taken and how quickly. The fact that she was conscious was a good sign at least.

  My chest tightened. I felt sick to my stomach. Couldn’t tell if I needed to throw up or just get out of that damn overlit waiting room. I wanted to get on my motorcycle and ride somewhere. Anywhere. Just get out. Get some air. Get away from the sickening smell of disinfectants.

  But I needed to know if she was going to be okay or not first.

  I dragged my hands through my hair and growled, letting off some steam. The receptionist peeked over her monitor at me, raising her eyebrows. I didn’t care. My shoulders ached already from hunching over all of the paperwork. Even breathing felt like a chore now. I buried my face in my hands. How was I supposed to…

  “Brian!”

  I looked up. Alice was jogging down the hall toward me.

  “Alice?”

  She sat in the chair next to me and grabbed my hand, squeezing it tightly.