The Next Ten: Beginnings Series Books 11 - 20
Page 20
“Thank you. Thank you.” Alex bowed three times as if he really appreciated the audience. He held his hands out to the contestants, Wilma an older woman on the heavy side with red hair and glasses and Marv, short, balding, and the epitome of a Jeopardy contestant. And then ... Frank. “Now let’s meet our contestants. Wilma, tell us a little about yourself.”
Wilma was bubbly and perky and happiness. “Well, Alex. My name is Wilma Davidoline ...”
“Lovely name,” Alex commented.
“Thank you.” Wilma blushed.
“Christ,” Frank mumbled.
Wilma quickly gave a glare to Frank then, turning Sybil, she resumed her perky, high toned voice. “I’m from right here in Los Angeles. I’m a librarian, and I teach history to mentally challenged individuals. Oh ...” She giggled. “I love to cook.”
Alex shifted his eyes to Frank when he heard the sarcastic fluttering of lips. Frank pointed to Marv. “O.K., Marv, tell us about yourself.”
Marv gripped the podium like a man so sure of himself. “Marv Smith, Alex. I’m from Minnesota, I’m a Botany professor at the University of Minnesota. I love to bowl and I’d like to say hello to all my special students in the evergreen tree study.” Marv waved. Frank leaned into Marv’s camera shot and waved also.
“Frank.” Alex ran his finger down his mustache. “Tell us about you.”
As if Frank’s mouth wasn’t loud enough, he leaned as close as he could down to the microphone. “I’m a Master Sergeant in the United States Army Forty-Second Battalion Infantry Division, Alex.”
Alex waited. There was silence. “Frank, any hobbies?”
Frank again, leaned into the microphone. “I have none Alex.”
“None?”
“I like to drink.”
“No recreational activities? You are a big guy. How big are you?”
With an ornery snicker, Frank leaned again into the microphone. “That’s uh, pretty personal question don’t you think, Alex?”
“I didn’t mean ...”
“Can someone fix this microphone?” Frank looked off stage as if expecting a stage hand to just jump right up. “My back is gonna kill me if I keep having to bend over.”
“Frank,” Alex called him. “You don’t have to lean into it. It will pick you up just fine.”
“Oh.” Frank stood up. “I’m a little nervous, Alex.”
“Understandable.”
“Just a little.”
“All right.” Alex widened his eyes. “You three know the rules. You must phrase your answer in the form of a question. If you think you know the answer, buzz in. Let’s take a look at our categories, shall we?”
With a few beeps, the board lit up.
Alex read them. “This Land is your Land. All in a name. Shakespeare. Useless information ...”
“Yes,” Frank whispered in excitement.
“Um ...” Alex stumbled then continued. “The Bible and Potpourri. Wilma, you won the honors to go first.”
A giggle precluded Wilma’s choice. “Let’s go with This Land is your Land for two hundred”
Alex read the question. “The City of Istanbul straddles these two separate continents.”
Bleep-bleep-bleep.
“Wilma.” Alex called upon her.
“What is Europe and Asia. I’ll take ...”
“Whoa. Whoa. Whoa.” Frank held his hand up. “What the piss does that have to do with Patriotic songs?”
Alex shuddered. “Excuse me.”
“This Land is your Land, this land is my land,” Frank stated. “I thought the category was about patriotic songs. Alex, you can’t get any further from patriotism then Istanbul.”
“Uh ...” Alex took a moment. “Frank, not all categories mean what you think.”
“O.K. Got it.” Frank nodded.
“And we try not to interrupt the other players, Frank,” Alex continued.
“My apologies.”
“And vulgarities cannot ...”
“Alex,” Frank snapped his name. “Enough picking on me already. Fuck.”
“Frank.”
“Sorry.” Frank held up his hand.
“Wilma, continue.”
After a huff, Wilma looked at the board. “I’ll take The Bible for a hundred.”
“During exile he wrote the Book of Revelation.”
Bleep-bleep-bleep.
“Marv.”
“Hold up!” Frank held up his hand while staring down to the other that held his buzzer.
“Frank.” Alex called him. “Marv is trying ...”
“Something’s wrong with my fuckin’ buzzer, Alex. I’m pressing and pressing.” Frank depressed it. “Nothing. Retake.”
“Nothing is wrong with your buzzer, Frank. Marv just beat you to the punch.”
“Oh I don’t think so.” Frank swayed his head and glared down to Marv. “Did you beat me to the punch?”
Nervously, Marv looked up to him. “I be ... I believe your buzzer was stuck.”
“See.” Frank motioned his hand.
“Judges?” Alex peered to the panel at the same time Frank tossed daggers at them. “Our judges said you can have it, Frank.”
“Thank you. The Book of Genesis.”
“Can you phrase that in the form of a question please?”
“The Book of Genesis?” Frank upped the end of his word.
Buzz.
“Fuck.”
“Language.”
“Sorry.”
Bleep-bleep-bleep.
“Wilma?”
“Who is John? The Bible for two hundred.” She snidely looked at Frank.
“The poem, Love is Patient, Love is kind is taken from this book of the Bible.”
Bleep-bleep-bleep
“Frank.”
“What is the book of Genesis?”
“Sorry, that’s incorrect.”
Bleep-bleep-bleep
“Wilma.”
“What is Corinthians? Useless information for a hundred Alex.”
“Oh yes!” Frank held that buzzer ready.
Alex read the question. “It’s the age of the mother Jane in the cartoon the Jetsons.”
Bleep-bleep-bleep.
“Frank.”
“What is thirty-three? Useless information for two hundred.”
“This adorable cartoon character was banned in Finland because he doesn’t wear pants.”
Bleep-bleep-bleep.
“Frank again.”
“Yes. Who is Donald Duck?”
“Correct.”
With a clenched fist, Frank grinned and bobbed his head in arrogance to Marv. “I’ll toughen it up here, Alex.” Frank sniffed. “Let’s go with the pot-pour-eye, for a hundred.”
“It’s the number of time zones you go through if you travel straight through the Soviet Union.”
Bleep-bleep-bleep.
“Marv.”
“What is seven? The Bible for three hundred.”
“He was the first in the Bible to have a prophetic dream of the world’s end.”
Bleep-bleep-bleep.
“Frank?”
“What is the book of Genesis?” Frank stated.
“I’m sorry that’s wrong.”
“Fuck.”
“Language.”
‘Sorry.”
“Frank?” Alex had question in his voice. “You do realize that is the third time you gave that answer.”
“Yes I do, Alex. I’m certain it’s right somewhere. I have a feeling.”
“All right. Anyone to take this?” Alex looked to Marv and Wilma. “No one. Who is Jeremiah? Marv, your pick.”
“All in a name, Alex for a hundred..”
“It’s the WD in WD40?”
“Oh!” Frank shouted then pressed his buzzer. “I know this.”
“Frank?”
“What is water displacement?”
“Correct.”
“Watch me rule, Alex. Staying clear of that Shakespeare category, I’ll take useless informatio
n for three hundred.”
“36-29-33. What are these numbers.”
Bleep-bleep-bleep.
Alex tilted his head. “Frank again.”
“What is a Barbie Doll’s real life measurements. Useless information for Four hundred.”
“These two tyrant rulers are said to each have only one testicle.”
Bleep-bleep-bleep.
Frank with a snicker answered “Who are Hitler and Napoleon?’
“Frank. Correct.” Alex smiled. “You’re good at this category.”
“I’m a virtual vat of useless information, Alex.” Frank sniffed in arrogance. “Let’s finish this one off.”
“American car horns beep in this musical key.”
Bleep-bleep-bleep.
“Frank once more.”
“What is the key of ‘F’.”
“Correct.”
“Yes!” Frank jumped. “Ha!” He pointed to Marv. “And you’re a Botanist.”
Marv rolled his eyes. “It’s useless information.”
Frank leaned over his podium. “It’s fuckin’ points, pal. Oh look, you have none. Ha.”
“Frank.” Alex interrupted him. “Can we not swear or taunt the other players.”
“Sorry Alex.”
“Take your turn.”
“It’s all in a name for two.”
“It’s the study of caves.”
Bleep-bleep-bleep.
“Marv?”
“What is speleology. The Bible for four hundred, Alex.”
Alex waited for the question to turn. “It’s the number of chapters in the book of Psalms.”
Bleep-bleep-bleep.
“Frank?”
Frank smiled. “What is the book of Genesis?”
“I’m sorry.”
“Shit.”
“Language.”
“I tamed it.”
Bleep-bleep-bleep.
Frank turned his head to Wilma. “We’re talking here.”
She crinkled her nose at him and pressed her buzzer again.
Bleep-bleep-bleep.
“Wilma.” Alex called upon her.
“What is one hundred and fifty. The Bible for five hundred.”
“Shem, Ham, and Jepheth are the names of these three sons in this book.”
Bleep-bleep-bleep.
“Wilma.”
Arrogantly she grinned. “What is the book of Genesis?”
“Correct.”
“Uh!” Frank smacked himself on the forehead. “Judges. Fuck. She took my answer. She stole my answer, Alex.”
“I know but once again we are going to have to ask you to refrain from the vulgarity, Frank.”
“Sorry, but she stole my answer. I’m ready now.” Frank held his buzzer, allowing his middle finger to point to Wilma while he nudged Marv. “You better get a move on. You suck.”
Wilma, not amused with Frank, picked her category. “All in a name for five hundred.”
“Calcium sulphate hemihydrate is more commonly known as.”
Bleep-bleep-bleep.
“Frank.” Alex called him.
“What is plaster of Paris?”
“That is correct.”
“Yes!” Frank jumped again and glared at Wilma. “Didn’t know that one, did you babe? Too slow. Too slow.”
“Frank.” A reprimanded call came from Alex.
“I know. I know. Taunting the players but I didn’t swear, Alex.”
“Good for you. Pick a category.”
“Let’s see I’ll take ... hmm ... How about ... let’s go with ...”
Wilma gasped out. “Can you just pick one!”
“Alex, she’s taunting me!” Frank pointed at her. “Tell her.”
“Wilma please. Frank, a category.”
“Pot-pour-eye for four, Alex.”
“The name of the Ernest Vincent Wright novel that contained not one letter ‘E’”
Bleep-bleep-bleep.
“Marv.”
“What is Gadsby?”
“Correct.”
“Good job.” Frank gave little Marv a swift pat to the back sending him forward. “Sorry. But you got one.”
Nervously and shaken, Marv fixed his hair and stood up straight. “Shakespeare for one hundred Alex.”
Frank breathed out heavily. “Fuckin’ Shakespeare..”
“Language.”
“Sorry.” Frank turned to the board.
The final Jeopardy music played throughout the darkened studio. Wilma diligently wrote her answer. Marv concentrated and Frank, almost as if he were dancing, bobbed his head and body to the upbeat ding-a-ling music.
“Time,” Alex called. “All right. For the first time ever in Jeopardy, we’ve gone into final Jeopardy with not only a three way tie, but a very low scoring three way tie.”
Marv pointed to Frank. “He kept pushing us to guess incorrectly, Alex.”
“Marv,” Alex said. “What did I say about taunting?” He watched Marv hunch. “All right the Final Jeopardy category is Geography. The answer. ‘It is known as the driest place on earth where rain has not been said to have fallen for at least two million years. Wilma, you have three hundred. What did you say?”
“I said Mahabi desert.”
“I’m sorry that’s wrong.” Alex told her. “What did you bet?”
“I bet it all.” Wilma tossed up her hand and gave another scolding look to Frank.
“Marv.” Alex pointed.
“I said the same thing and I bet half.”
Alex turned to Frank. “Frank, your answer.”
“I said ...” Frank revealed his answer. “Las Vegas, Alex.”
“Oh, close but no.” Alex shook his head. “Frank, if you bet less than half you’re the new Jeopardy champion.” He saw the grin on Frank’s face. “I’m taking it you bet less than half.”
“You better believe it, Alex. I bet one dollar.”
The fanfare music began to play. “Frank, with two-hundred-ninety-nine dollars, you’re our new Champ.”
“Oh yes!” Frank raised his hand in a high five to Marv. “Yes. And Christmas is just around the corner. Out comes that lay-a-way, Alex.”
“I’m uh ... sure.” Alex looked into the camera, ignoring Frank who gloatingly began to dance and jump around the stage to the Jeopardy theme music ... .
... It was so quiet in the waiting room of the clinic, a pin could be heard dropping. Joe reached up and shut off the television.. “Even though the ending was a surprise, that was entertaining. What did I tell you?”
Dean was so shocked. His head swayed as he held it in disbelief. “Frank won Jeopardy?”
“Dean,” Frank snapped his name. “What? You didn’t think I would?”
“Frank. No. At one point in the last round you were minus three thousand dollars.”
Henry interjected, “But Dean, he knew Military History. He came back.”
“Yeah,” Dean said with sarcasm. “Only after he threatened Marv not to buzz before him.”
Ellen clapped her hands together once. “I just love that tape. Hey! Let’s watch Frank on The Price is Right now.” She jumped up and raced to the television. “I dug it up too.” She held up the tape. Ellen received no arguments from anyone. They had nothing better to do and Frank on television was amusing.
Ellen popped in the tape and backed up with a smile, returning to her seat between Frank and Dean, Everyone realized the moment the tape started that they surely were in for another ‘Frank-style game show’ treat. When Frank, standing with the other three contestants, ready to make his first bid, turned around to the screaming and chanting studio audience and yelled his loudest at them, “Shut the fuck up, I’m trying to think here!” And for the first time in The Price is Right history, a hush took over the entire audience.
A Pause ...
PRESENT DAY
Beginnings, Montana
October 2
“Traitor,” Frank commented to Hal in the meeting slash hideaway at the living trailer.
> “Now why do you have to be like that?” Hal asked. “I’m trying to tell my story.”
“Traitor.”
“Frank.” Hal twitched his head. “I’ve listened to your made up stories about what happened in Beginnings.”
“What?” With an offended gasp, Frank laid his hand on his own chest. “Do you suggest I tell tales?”
“Yeah, Frank,” Hal snapped. “And everyone knows the truth. I know the truth. I’ve been reviewing history.”
“History is wrong,” Frank told him.
“History is wrong,” Hal repeated. “Sure, Frank.”
“I’m telling you. Henry?” Frank looked to Henry.
“To me it’s wrong.”
“Me too,” Dean added.
“It’s right to me,” Robbie commented.
“I say let’s take a vote,” Frank suggested. “All those who say history is wrong, raise your hand.” Frank along with Dean and Henry raised their hands. “There. Wrong. I’m right.”
“And I’m talking now,” Hal said “I’m sure we’d like to hear other stories other than Beginnings stories.”
“Hal,” Frank said. “We’re catching up. Why would we want to hear fuckin’ Hal stories?”
“Don’t I count?” Hal asked.
“No.” Frank shook his head. “You’ve been dead to us for nearly seven years. Fuck, Hal, you blew us off.”
“I did no such thing.” Hal really defended himself.
“Hal, where were you?”
“I’m trying to tell you that.”
“Traitor.” Frank crossed his arms.
“My God, Frank.” Hal was aghast. “You’re worse now than I remember you.”
“I was never bad Hal. You were.” Frank pointed at him.
“Please,” Hal scoffed in sarcasm. “Robbie, who was the one always in trouble?”
Robbie innocently looked to Frank. “I hate to admit it, but when we were younger, it was Frank.”
“Exactly,” Hal nodded.
“Hal, you asshole,” Frank snapped. “That’s because you always blamed everything on me.”
“And you never did anything wrong?” Hal questioned.
“Never. You did.”
“All right.,” Hal said calmly. “Since you’re being Mr. Diplomatic here, may I take a vote?”