Slayer

by Kiersten White

  “If he’s so dangerous, why is Honora wasting time lecturing me? If he’s racked up the body count you claim, kill him. Right now.”

  “Hold up,” Doug says, trying to stand.

  “No. Go on.” I gesture toward him. “You can do it from there, Honora. I remember how good you are at throwing knives.”

  She scoffs, tossing her hair over her shoulder. “You don’t have any idea what’s going on. It’s not that simple. I can’t just kill Doug.”

  “So you know him!” I jab my finger toward her, triumphant. “Which means you know the dude who’s been using Doug for drugs! Wait. Doug was looking for Bradford Smythe for help. Oh my gods. Did you kill Bradford?”

  “What is your damage?” Honora physically recoils from the suggestion. “Bradford died of a heart attack! I was with Artemis all morning, and I had nothing against the old man. He was always nice to me. You’re the one sneaking around with demons!”

  “I didn’t say anything about Bradford—” Doug says.

  “I’m hardly sneaking around with him!” I gesture to the chains. “I’ve taken precautions. And they’ve worked. But if he’s so dangerous, again, why aren’t you killing him?”

  Artemis looks torn. Then she shakes her head. “Honora has way more experience than we do. If she doesn’t think we should kill him, there’s a reason. Right?” She looks to Honora for confirmation.

  “Of course. Doug’s blood is toxic. If we spill it, we’ll all die.”

  “Liar!” I hold up my hands. “I bandaged his bleeding face when we found him. And I’m super not dead!”

  “You don’t know anything,” Honora hisses. “Now get out of my way.” She grabs my arm and tries to shove me to the side.

  I don’t budge. She pushes harder. I still don’t move.

  “What the hell?” she says.

  Artemis might have told her I’ve been sneaking out, but apparently she didn’t tell Honora the full truth—that I’m a Slayer. And I suspect she didn’t keep it secret to protect me. I think she didn’t want Honora to know because she wanted all of Honora’s attention. But my heart sinks that Artemis didn’t think the biggest thing that’s ever happened to me was worth mentioning.

  I force a grin. “Who doesn’t know anything now?”

  Honora grabs my shoulders to throw me aside. I push her. She flies out of the shed, landing hard on the ground. She scrambles back, then stands. “Not possible.”

  I pick the padlock up off the ground and close it in my fist, then drop the ruined mess of metal onto the ground. I’m showing off—I know I am—but I can’t help it.

  This is amazing. If I had known I’d be able to use this against Honora, I would have tried to become a Chosen One years ago. “You might be a Watcher, but I’m a Slayer. So back off and let me deal with Doug on my own.”

  Honora’s face shifts from disbelieving to delighted. It’s a terrifying change. She pulls a band off her wrist and ties her hair back in a ponytail. “Well then, at least it’ll be a fairer fight when I kick your ass. Get out of my way. I won’t warn you again.”

  Artemis holds up her hands. “This is ridiculous. Nina, you have no idea what you’re doing. Give the demon to Honora, and we’ll go back to the castle and figure this all out.”

  I shake my head. “You’ve never seen what she’s really like.”

  “You’ve always hated her. And now you’re using that as an excuse to be an idiot. Honora is an expert. You are not.”

  Honora tries to slip past me. I block her. She grabs me for balance, then her fist slams into my stomach. We’re angled so Artemis doesn’t see the hit. Honora dances back away from me.

  “Come on, Nina,” she sings. “You don’t want to do this.”

  I shake off her blow, raising my own fists. “I really do.”

  I aim a high kick at her head, but she ducks under my leg, pushing up to throw me off balance. I spin and land awkwardly in a crouch. I dive, rolling under her own vicious kick. I sweep out with my leg. She trips, going down hard. But before I can take advantage, she pushes herself up, flipping back onto her feet in a super cool move I’m instantly jealous of.

  “Guys,” Artemis chastises. We ignore her.

  Honora throws a punch. I catch her hand in mine, easily holding it in place. She grins even bigger. And then she shoves.

  I stumble back, shocked. She shouldn’t be able to do that. I’m not sure exactly how strong I am, but I know I’m stronger than a normal girl. She spins and kicks my stomach. I fly across the yard, slamming into the fence. The post cracks.

  “Nina!” Artemis shouts.

  This is Honora. The architect of the single most humiliating moment of my life. If I get nothing else out of being a Slayer, I sure as every known hell dimension will get the satisfaction of beating her in a fight.

  Honora stalks toward me. I dodge a kick. Her foot smashes into the fence. I stand, uppercutting her with my momentum. I catch her under the chin, hard, and her head snaps back. I have a single moment of adrenaline-soaked triumph before horror overtakes me as I watch her fall, completely limp, to the ground.

  What have I done?

  Artemis rushes to Honora’s side. I kneel next to her, but Artemis shoves me away. “How could you?”

  “She started it!”

  “She didn’t! Even if she had, she’s our friend!”

  “She hit me first! You didn’t see. And she’s never been my friend!” I struggle to get myself under control. “Let me check her out. I didn’t mean to hit her so hard.”

  Artemis looks like our mother when she meets my eyes. It winds me, leaves me struggling to catch my breath. “You did mean to. You meant to hit her exactly that hard.”

  Honora’s eyes flutter open. I slump in relief against the fence. Maybe she was faking. I don’t even care as long as it means I didn’t break her neck or her brain. I might have been okay with breaking her jaw, though.

  Gods, what’s wrong with me? I fix bones. I don’t break them.

  Artemis’s hands dart around Honora’s face. “Are you okay? Can you move? Maybe you should lie still for a bit.”

  Honora smiles, a lazy, dazed expression. “It’s not fair,” she says to my sister.

  “What’s not fair?”

  “You should have passed the test. You gave it up for her. If either of you were going to be a Slayer, it should have been you.”

  Artemis doesn’t look at me. She doesn’t have to. We both know she feels the same way. How could she not? But I don’t understand what Honora means about the Watcher stuff. I had nothing to do with Artemis failing the test.

  Honora accepts Artemis’s help up. I stand too, keeping my distance.

  “I won’t let you take Doug.” It comes out as more a mumble than a challenge.

  “Too late,” Honora snarls.

  Cillian is sitting on the floor in the middle of the shed, playing with the empty handcuffs. He looks up, his eyes half shut and glazed. “Man, I feel good. I feel so good. I haven’t felt this good since my mom left. I’m not even sad about that. It’s cool that she needs magic more than she needs me.” He laughs, lying back on the floor. “I feel really good.” He picks up the ring from his dad’s box of things, sliding it onto his finger and giggling.

  I rush into the shed as if Doug might still be in there, hiding. “Where did he go?”

  Cillian waves a hand languorously through the air, then pauses, watching his fingers like they’re the greatest things ever. “He—” Cillian stops, giggling. “He put his hand over my mouth so I wouldn’t shout. Some of his—whatever—got in.” Cillian laughs harder, closing his eyes. “Then he asked me to unlock his chains. Such a nice bloke. I’m gonna sleep now.” He curls on his side, smiling.

  Honora is holding her head, leaning against the fence. “Great job, Wheezy.”

  My fists compulsively clench at my sides. “Don’t call me that.”

  “Or what, you gonna hit me again? Come on. Show me what a big, bad Slayer you are now. Show us the truth: that all those ye
ars you pretended to be so sweet and nurturing were really because you needed other people to feel sorry for you so they’d like you.”

  My fists go limp. Is she right? Was I always a Slayer inside—violent, predatory—and only forced to care about others because I needed them to care about me? Was I only helpful and kind because I was terrified of being left behind again?

  “It wasn’t like that.” I hear how petulant and whiny I sound. She turns me back into my thirteen-year-old self, and I hate it.

  “You have no idea what you’ve done, letting him get away.”

  “I’d rather him be free than be in your hands! You’re not telling us everything.”

  Honora pops something into her mouth, tipping her head back to swallow it. She’s getting steadier by the minute. The force of my hit is the only reason she didn’t jump the fence and run after him immediately. I bought him a few precious minutes. And I’m glad.

  “You’re pathetic,” she says. “You still think you’re the good guys, hiding in that castle, hoarding information and not doing anything with it. Pretending like you still matter.”

  Artemis flinches at her words. Honora puts a hand on my sister’s cheek. “It breaks my heart to see you there. You are so much better than any of them, Artemis. And you can do so much more.”

  She leans forward and brushes her lips against my sister’s. Now I’m definitely ready to hit her again. But then she pulls back, runs, and jumps the fence—faster and higher than she should be able to. What is the deal with her?

  “Artemis,” I say. She doesn’t turn around. “You know Honora is mixed up in this.”

  “All I know is what I saw. You protecting a demon, and fighting Honora to do it.”

  “That’s not what— She’s poisoning you against me!”

  Artemis waves her hand, huffing. “She’s never said anything bad about you. You’re the one who hates her.”

  “Because she’s the worst!”

  “She’s the one person I used to be able to talk to. She’s been writing me for the last two years too, checking in. She gets it. She cares. She’s the only one who understands what I go through.”

  Her words slice through me. Wasn’t I that one person? Weren’t we each other’s person? Becoming a Slayer has forced the truth about my relationship with the sister I love more than anyone in the world.

  We’re not close.

  And if things continue how they are, we never will be again.

  I think about Buffy, the stories of all her broken relationships with friends and loved ones. Is this part of what being a Slayer is? A loneliness that goes down to the bone?

  I swallow back the hurt, trying to figure out what happened between us. “What did Honora mean, that you didn’t pass the test because of me?”

  Artemis’s face closes off as she turns to leave. “I’ll see you back at the castle. I have to figure out how to fix your mess.”

  I sit on the floor of the shed. Cillian snores softly, smiling in his sleep. Should I follow Doug and Honora, make sure she doesn’t catch up to him? I’m still convinced that he isn’t evil. He ran away only because Honora showed up. He never even tried before. And while we were distracted, he had every chance to hurt Cillian and didn’t.

  How much of a threat is Honora? She may not be a Slayer, but she’s got some kind of extra juice. And she knows so much more than she told us. Everything she said about Doug was a lie.

  Plus, I still don’t know how any of this ties to Bradford’s death.

  The only thing that’s clear is that I’m in over my head. I need Watchers, even though I don’t want to admit how badly I’ve screwed everything up. Not to mention the fact that I beat up another Watcher to protect a demon.

  Oh my gods. I always thought I’d make better choices if I had the kind of power Buffy has. Now? It turns out I am just. Like. Her.

  The least Doug could have done was give me a shot of happy too, because I have none of my own.

  21

  I TRUDGE BACK TO THE castle, dragging a still drugged-up Cillian along. For several minutes he points wordlessly to a particular tree, tears of joy streaming down his face.

  Doug wasn’t kidding. He’s good stuff.

  I keep an eye out for any sign of him or Honora, but I don’t see anything. She’ll catch him or she won’t. I can’t pretend like I can handle this alone anymore.

  When we get to the castle, Rhys is outside practicing crossbow while Jade lounges in the shade with a book. I tug Cillian to Rhys and get the hard part over with first. “So, long story short, there was a demon, we were keeping it in Cillian’s shed, it drugged Cillian and got away.”

  Rhys’s finger twitches, and his bolt lands dead center in the target. Jade looks up, surprised. “Nice shot,” she says. Either she doesn’t notice Cillian high out of his mind or doesn’t care. She goes right back to her book.

  “Cillian can fill you in when he sobers up.” I shove Cillian at his boyfriend. Rhys stares at me, mouth gaping open like a fish’s, Cillian in his arms. I head into the castle, Cillian’s voice following me as he croons, “And I-I-I will always love you-oo-oo!” at the top of his lungs.

  It’s time to come clean. But not to my mom or to the rest of the Council. I need actual help. Someone who won’t judge me for what I did to Honora. Someone who knows about being a Watcher in the real world. How complicated it can get. How messy.

  Someone I hope will still like me after he hears what a tremendous mess I’ve made of everything.

  I pause, about to knock at Leo and Eve’s suite. There are loud voices inside. Shouting, maybe? Or just animated conversation? I can’t tell. The door flies open and I’m face-to-face with Leo, my fist still raised to knock. His expression is a solid mask, like someone holding everything inside. I take an involuntary step back. But by the time I’ve done that, he’s smiling.

  I’ve seen his real smile. This isn’t it. “Athena,” he says. “Hey.”

  “Come in!” Eve Silvera beams. It can’t have been yelling I overheard. She looks totally relaxed. She gestures to an elegant tea set, and I take a seat across the table from her. Leo stays standing. I was only planning on going to Leo, but this is probably better. I’m in so deep, I need more than one Silvera to dig me out.

  “I’m glad you came by,” Eve said. “I need to explain my reaction this morning.”

  “Huh?”

  “In Bradford’s room.”

  “Oh. Right. Yeah.” In all the Doug-and-Honora drama, I had actually forgotten for a few precious minutes. Both that Bradford Smythe is dead and that Eve, my champion, didn’t believe me about my dream.

  “I’m so sorry I acted that way. I couldn’t have your mother suspect that we’re training you. The easiest way to put her off our trail is by pretending like we don’t trust you as a Slayer. Really, nothing could be further from the truth.”

  “So you believe me? About my dream?” I look hopefully toward Leo. His jaw is clenched. He nods, once. It hits me how worried I was that he would join his mother’s side. His unquestioning support this morning meant so much more to me than I realized.

  “Of course!” Eve says. “Now, I’m not discounting my theory that as a Slayer your senses are so fine-tuned that you knew he was sick, and your dream was a way of communicating that to yourself. But I’m also not discounting that it could very well have been something demonic. I’m looking into it, and I’ll let you know as soon as I find anything. In the meantime, I don’t think any of us are in danger, but if you feel we are, or you dream something similar, come to me immediately.”

  I nod, relieved. At least Eve believes in me. Leo too, though he’s being weird again. He’s always like this around his mom. It must have been hard, working with her. As both her son and her subordinate. Like Artemis and our mom.

  “Did you need something else, dear?” Eve smiles encouragingly.

  Right. The real reason I came. I wish I could leave right now, firmly in Eve’s good graces. I fidget with the delicate spoon in front of me. “I, uh
, messed up. Like, really bad. Like, the worst way a Watcher can mess up.”

  Eve puts her hand over mine. “You can’t mess up in the worst way a Watcher can, because you’re not one. You’re a Slayer. So tell us what happened, and we’ll help.”

  It’s such a mom thing to say. I don’t get that often. I actually can’t remember the last time I had a mom thing said to me. “Right. Okay. See, there was this demon?” I blurt out the whole story as fast as I can. But I stumble when I get to the part where I’ll have to tell her about my mom killing the second hellhound in secret. Eve can tell I’m leaving something out. She raises an eyebrow, and I slouch.

  “My mom,” I say. “There was another hellhound. It found me in the village, and I wanted to keep the villagers safe, so I led it back here. Which I know was the wrong move!”

  “I don’t think it was.”

  “You don’t?”

  Eve’s warm smile confirms her statement. “You were protecting innocents, and you knew there were weapons and other capable people at the castle. It was the right decision. You need to trust your instincts more. You have them for a reason.”

  A rush of warmth better than the tea fills me. “Well, I didn’t kill it. My mom did. But then she didn’t tell anyone else about it. Which is weird, right? We went on lockdown for the first one. It was almost like . . .”

  “Almost like she expected the second one,” Eve fills in for me. Concern creases her brow. “Or at least knew it was hunting something other than us and we weren’t in danger. This demon in the shed—whom you suspect was the target—do you know what he was running from?”

  I tell her about the demon drug dealing, the marks on Doug’s wrists, the connection to the pit-fighting organizers. And then I bite my lip. “But I think it’s less about who he was running from than who he was running to. He said he had a contact. Someone who made deals with demons. Smythe. And now Bradford Smythe is dead.”

  Eve coughs on her sip of tea. “Wait. You think Bradford Smythe is connected?”