by Marla Monroe
“This is good, Abe. Thanks for making it,” Celina said in that low, husky voice of hers.
He grunted and continued eating.
“She picked the room next to yours because it has a bathroom connected to it.” Russell finally spoke up after a few minutes of silence. “The bathroom will need some cleaning, but the bedroom was actually in good shape. We went ahead and changed the sheets to fresh ones.”
“Good.” He should have known she would choose that room. “There’s plenty more to eat on the stove. Help yourself.”
When he risked a glance up, it was to find her staring at him with a puzzled expression across her cute face.
“What?”
“If you don’t want me here…”
“I didn’t say that, did I?” He glowered and continued eating.
“Don’t mind him. He’s gruff and growls a lot, but he’s pretty harmless.”
Abe’s frown deepened. He didn’t know about harmless. Still, she had nothing to fear from him. Out of nowhere, worry for her condition blindsided him. How was she going to be able to cope with a baby to care for? What would happen when it came time for the baby’s birth? She would be all alone somewhere and probably terrified.
This didn’t sit well with him. He stood up and carried his plate to the sink. She would never survive on her own somewhere, and he knew for a fact that there was no one out this direction for miles and miles. He struggled to get everything done now, and sometimes it was damn near hand to mouth in having enough to eat. She would never be able to carve out a living without a man to help her. Not with a baby.
A feminine hand joined his in the sink, sliding her plate into the water. He turned to find her smiling shyly at him. Their eyes held for a few seconds until he tore his gaze away and concentrated on washing the dishes.
“I’ll help. You cooked. You shouldn’t have to do the dishes, too.”
“I’m used to it. Didn’t have anyone here with me ’til someone opened the gate and let the cows through.”
Her warm laughter startled him. He jerked and stepped to the side. She was lovely when she laughed like that.
“Russell. I think he’s calling us cows,” she said.
“That’s better than what he’s called me in the past. Be flattered,” the other man said.
Abe grunted and returned to washing the dishes. He wasn’t sure what to make of the woman. Worse than that, he wasn’t sure what to do with her either.
* * * *
Celina couldn’t help but smile to herself at the crabby mountain of a man next to her. She dried the plates and carefully stacked them on the counter next to them. He acted like a bastard at times, but she saw glimpses of a kinder, gentler soul beneath all of the blunder. She couldn’t help but wonder which was indicative of the true man.
“That’s the last of it.” Abe handed her a glass to dry. “I’ll put them away. You don’t know where they go, and in the lamplight, it would be hard to figure out.”
She nodded and stepped back after drying off the glass. She watched as he quickly cleared the stack of clean dishes from the counter. The man was easily six and a half feet tall. His shaggy rich black hair brushed his shoulders and often formed a veil over his face. His dark beard covered the lower half of his face, making it difficult to tell his mood at times. It was just as bushy as his hair. She knew shaving could be a hassle for a man, and the heavy covering of hair probably shielded his face from the bitter cold of winter this far north.
She couldn’t help but admire how easily he moved despite his massive size. Thinking of him as a mountain seemed appropriate. His broad shoulders topped a massively wide chest that, even covered by the shirt he wore, did little to subtract from the strength it contained. All of that muscular thickness tapered to a narrow waist before leading her eyes to somewhere she had no business thinking about. Regardless, she couldn’t overlook the impressive bulge at the apex of his long, massive legs.
A shiver of awareness traveled down her spine. She immediately felt guilty. She’d just lost her husband who’d been the most important person in her life, and here she was ogling another man. Shame burned her face, and she turned away, her hand going to where her baby rested. She needed to get out of there and settle her mind. There was no future in where her mind was drifting.
“I’m going to go sit in front of the fire. Thanks again for dinner. It was very good.” She quickly escaped, but not before she heard his typical grunt of acknowledgement.
Celina joined Russell in the living room, where the man stood with his back to the roaring fire. She curled her legs under her as she settled on the couch. The other man smiled but didn’t say anything at first. His silence didn’t bother her at first, but the longer it stretched, the more uncomfortable she grew. Finally, she spoke up.
“How long have you been here?”
“Only a couple of weeks. I had a run in with a grizzly, and Abe patched me up when he found me. I’m still not quite a hundred percent yet.”
She nodded, studying the man. Russell looked to be closer to forty, though Abe seemed more experienced. Abe was probably a few years younger. Where Abe towered over both of them, Russell was still tall at a few inches over six feet. His shaggy auburn hair complemented his sky-blue eyes. Like Abe, he had a muscular body that came from long hours of hard work. She doubted either man held an ounce of fat anywhere on their bodies.
She tore her eyes from him just as they had settled on the inspiring package between his legs. When she leveled her gaze on his face, it was obvious that he knew where she’d been looking. Once again, heat warmed her cheeks. She quickly lowered her gaze to her hands.
“How did you end up way out here?” Russell asked, strolling over to the chair on her right.
Celina continued to look down at her hands as she relayed the events that had led to her being there all alone.
“Roger and I had been living just inside the Border Lands with some other families for several years. Then we started having trouble with black-market agents. They kept attacking us no matter what we did. Most of the families had doubled up, thinking there was strength in numbers.”
She risked a glance over at the other man and found his gaze glued to the fire. His face held sadness and maybe a touch of guilt. She wasn’t sure.
“My husband didn’t want to live with others like that and balked at the thought of, um, sharing me with another man. After the second time the men tried to take me, he agreed that when we harvested the last of our garden, we’d move in with one of the others there. But the next day, they set fire to the house and we had to run for our lives. Roger was shot in the back, and eventually, the infection killed him.”
“We believe that we don’t need help keeping what we see as ours alone safe. It’s a fool’s folly in arrogance and conceit.” Russell’s voice held such torment that she knew he’d lost his wife under similar circumstances.
“And believing that any of us can defy fate is just as much an exercise in futility as capturing the sun or the moon.” Abe walked farther into the room to stand by the hearth. “You’re better off accepting what you have at the moment and avoid planning for it to be there the next day.”
Celina thought that to be a very fatalistic and bitter way to live one’s life, but didn’t say as much out loud. Instead she changed the subject.
“The cabins you talked about, Russell, are they close to the main lodge?”
“Some are and some are deeper in the woods. Why?”
“I was thinking that maybe I could pick one to live in that was in fair enough shape and work on it when the weather permits.”
Abe spoke up almost before she’d even finished her sentence. “No. I already told you that it’s too dangerous for you to live alone in one of them. Has nothing in your past made an impression on you? You can’t live alone, especially with a child. Think about your baby, if not yourself.”
She cringed at the insinuation that she would intentionally place her child in harm’s way. She would nev
er do that, but what choice did she have? She was alone and had nowhere to go. At least she would be close to them if she needed them. Of course, that meant they would have to care enough to help her in the first place. Again she winced inwardly. They had already helped her. She couldn’t fault them in her troubles.
“What are you thinking so hard about over there?” Russell’s question reminded her that she wasn’t alone.
“Just trying to figure out what I’m going to do. Abe’s right. I have to think of my baby. I would never survive alone, much less with a helpless baby to care for.”
“Stop fretting about it. You’re safe enough here.” Abe turned toward the fire and grabbed the poker from the stand. “It’s winter now, and the snows will set in soon. You’re not going anywhere before spring, so stop wasting your time worrying.”
Celina stared at his back as he punched at the partially consumed logs, sending sparks floating up the chimney. She couldn’t figure him out. One moment he acted like her staying there would be the worst torture a man could weather, and the next he was telling her she had no choice and to stop worrying over the future.
Fine, it was obvious that she had no real choice in the matter considering the time of year, but it didn’t mean she was going to stand for his churlish attitude while she was there. A small smile escaped despite her best efforts to contain it. She would smother him with kindness and give him something to be irritated about. It would be her job to annoy him at every turn. He didn’t know it yet, but she’d always taken great pride in being excellent in her work. Let the games begin.
She slowly stretched out her legs and stood up from the couch. Then she lifted her arms and stretched them as well. She was well aware of both men’s appraisal when she did. Though it made her slightly uncomfortable, she really didn’t feel that she had anything to worry about from them. They didn’t strike her as the type to force themselves on a woman, especially a pregnant one.
“I think I’m going to go on up to bed. I’m quite tired. You never really sleep well out in the open or when you’re running from something.” Celina turned and walked across the room to the staircase.
“Wait.” Russell got up as well and snagged one of the lamps. “You’ll need this to get ready for bed. I’ll come up with you. I’m tired as well.”
She didn’t say anything, just waited on him to join her at the bottom of the stairs. As they ascended the staircase, she glanced over at where Abe still stood gazing at the fire with his back to them. He looked so incredibly alone, standing there like that. She figured this was how he looked at night all of the years before they had crashed unexpectedly into his life. Surely deep down he felt as if things had changed for the better.
Her view disappeared as they stepped closer to the second floor. The air up there was considerably colder. A slight shiver ran over her body.
“We’d better get you under the covers before you catch a cold. You need warmer clothes here, too. I’m sure we can find something for you around here somewhere.” Russell increased his pace, leaving her little choice except to almost jog next to him.
At her door he handed her the lamp. At her attempt to refuse it, he assured her that he had one in his room he could light.
“Thank you, Russell. Hope you sleep well.” She turned and opened the door.
“You, too, Celina. See you in the morning.”
She turned to close the door but only saw his retreating form as he made his way to his own room down and across the hall a short ways. When she closed the door and turned around she was hit with a moment of déjà vu at how closely the room resembled the one she and Roger had shared for years before the attack. Putting it down to the soft shadows around the room from the lamp, she brushed the sensation away and located the drawer she’d found earlier that held the 3XL undershirts that would easily cover her.
Dressed in the oversized shirt, Celina climbed up into the bed and tunneled beneath the covers to make a little nest for herself. They had piled several blankets on top of the bed earlier, and though they weighed a ton on top of her, she was grateful for the added layer of protection from the cold night air.
The trials of the day slowly played through her head as she relaxed enough to eventually fall asleep. For once, she didn’t dream.
Chapter Five
Early the next morning, Celina woke, trying to remember where she was to be so warm and comfortable. She turned to look for her husband only to remember that he was gone and would never be there to hold and comfort her again. Tears burned her eyes, but she refused to start the day crying. It would drive the direction of her day from there on out.
The need to pee hit her like a bus. She braved the frigid air and climbed out of bed to slip to the floor and race to the bathroom. Thank God she’d slept in her socks. Her feet would have frozen to the floor if she hadn’t.
After taking care of her needs and brushing her teeth, she dressed in the only other set of clothes she now owned and carried the lamp downstairs to be ready when she needed it again that night. She noticed that the fire had already been tended to that morning. More than likely both men were already up and about. She had slept better than she had in a long time.
She listened but didn’t hear any noises from the kitchen. When she walked through the door, it was to find the room empty, but a pot warming on the stove. She checked and was relieved to find that it was coffee. Even the little community where she had come from didn’t always have coffee since it had to be bartered for from the various settlements or rare supply trucks that came through. Abe lived so deep in the Border Lands that she hadn’t expected him to have access to it.
She poured some in a cup and sipped at it as she looked out the window over the sink. The early morning light bathed everything in soft colors that teased one into thinking it was a pretty day outside. All she had to do was press her hand to the glass of the window to disprove that illusion. It was cold enough to snow.
The kitchen door leading outside opened, and Abe walked in with a bucket of fresh milk and a basket with eggs. Steam curled from the bucket, confirming it was fresh from the cow. He looked over at her as he stepped out of his boots.
“Good morning, Abe,” she offered when he didn’t say anything right away.
“Morning. Give me a few minutes and I’ll fix something for you to eat.” He walked across the room and set the bucket next to the sink and the eggs on the counter.
“Why don’t you go and warm up in front of the fire. I’ll cook breakfast this morning.” She smiled up at him, willing him to smile back.
“You don’t have to cook.” He didn’t offer a return smile.
“I know. I like to cook, so clear out and let me get to work.” She made a shooing gesture with her hands.
To her surprise, he took her at her word and left her in the kitchen alone. She just stood there for a second wondering how that had worked out so well. Then it occurred to her that most men didn’t like to cook anyway. He was probably relieved to hand it over to her. More than likely he would take it for granted that she would take over the cooking from him. She shrugged. Considering he was giving her a safe place to live, maybe she would.
Thirty minutes later, she had deer steak, gravy, eggs, and biscuits ready. She poked her head through the door to the living area and announced that breakfast was on the table. It didn’t take long for the two men to appear in the kitchen. They took their seats and began filling their plates with food. She couldn’t stop the smile their enthusiasm created. When they mumbled their approval around mouthfuls of her cooking, she felt a moment of pride that she could at least help with this.
Halfway through the meal, Abe scowled across the table at her. She arched a brow and stared back at him with a questioning look.
“You’re supposed to be eating for two. You aren’t eating enough to keep you alive, much less feed a baby.”
“I’m full. I can’t stuff myself, Abe. I’ll end up sick at my stomach.”
“Then you need to eat snacks sp
read out all day long. You’re not getting enough with what you just ate. Drink another glass of milk.”
Russell smiled as he stared down at his plate as if to stay out of the discussion. She wasn’t going to let him though.
“Russell, tell Abe I know my own body and when it needs something to eat,” she demanded.
He looked up with wide, panic-filled eyes. “Uh, I’m not in this discussion, Celina.”
She glared at him. “Coward. You know I’m right.”
Abe had the audacity to crack a smile from under his bushy beard. It even reached his usually empty eyes. That irritated her even more. She gritted her teeth and stood up, planning to take her plate to the sink.
“Where are you going?” Abe asked without looking at her.
“What is this? Twenty questions? I’m putting my plate in the sink.”
“You haven’t poured another glass of milk to drink yet.” He took a bite of eggs and settled his steely gaze on her.
“I don’t want any more milk right now. I’ll drink more later.” She took a step away from the table and Abe stopped her with a hand to her arm.
“Drink the milk, Celina.” His dark eyes seemed to sparkle in his face. “Please.”
It was the please that got her. She nodded her head, and after placing her plate in the sink, she poured another glass of milk and slowly sipped it. She couldn’t believe that she was caving to him like this. If he ever did turn on his charm, she’d be a lost cause.
She heard a snicker and turned to find a smiling Russell studiously looking down at his empty plate. She narrowed her eyes at him and returned to the table with deliberate steps. There was no way she would allow either of them to think they could get the best of her. She sat back down and waited for Russell’s curiosity to get the better of him. When it did and he looked up, she leveled him with a droll stare.
“I won’t forget that you sided with Abe. When you least expect it, Russell. When you least expect it.” She got back up and left the two men in the kitchen to finish her milk while sitting in front of the fire.
