Circus Excite

by Nikki Magennis

  ‘Just relax, baby. I only want a look at your tits. They looked so gorgeous from a distance. Let me pull this down.’ John tugged at the bra, pulling her breasts free to spill over the lace. Julia felt surrounded by the two men, Mark slipping his hands over her thighs and between her legs, John working away at her tits. He bent forward to take a nipple in his mouth, and Julia moaned, leaning back to let Mark nuzzle at her neck. She felt two pairs of hands swarming over her, and the delicious, terrifying feeling of being trapped in the dark without knowing what would happen next. Part of her wondered what had happened to Robert.

  Suddenly the boat plunged without warning over a steep drop, into a rolling dark mist. Julia struggled frantically, thinking suddenly that they were underwater as the spray hit her, that they’d overturned and she was being plunged into the depths of the river. Mark held her firmly round the waist, taking the opportunity to unzip his flies and help Julia pull up her skirt. Water was sloshing over the sides of the boat now, and Julia felt the cold shock of it at the same time as John ducked his head down to her lap. As he flicked his tongue over her, she relaxed, realising that they were slowly rocking down a tunnel, the walls a cascading curtain of water. Oblivious to the changing scenes around them, John licked hungrily at her while Mark nudged the head of his cock against her ass insistently.

  The ride was a rolling shadowy journey, twisting through more caverns where flames licked up the walls. Julia was lost in a dark fantasy, balanced precariously in the boat as it dipped and tilted, as she was rubbed and manipulated by John and Mark. She felt a rising need to take Mark’s cock inside her, her sense of urgency spurred by the approaching sound of a waterfall, another drop.

  ‘Stop the boat,’ she said urgently, pushing John away. He grabbed hold of the wall, forcing the boat to spin close against the side. There was a scraping, grinding noise as they hit the wall, and then he turned back to Julia, who was breathing heavily, crushed against Mark’s body. The boat continued to grate against the wall as the three of them moved silently into a position where Julia could sit on Mark. She was still aware there was a danger of another boat happening on them, so their movements were furtive and they made no noise, other than the sound of their breathing and the suck of the water lapping at the boat. Julia felt like a teenager stealing a sordid grope, caught up in a filthy huddle between two strangers. All thoughts of Robert following them had disappeared as she felt the urgent need to fuck overwhelm her.

  She eased herself down onto Mark’s cock, and started moving slowly up and down, letting the whole shaft push deep inside her with a wonderfully insistent force. Because the boat was unstable, gently rocking with their motions, the sensation was almost gentle, but the intensity increased with John’s attentions. He buried his head between her legs again, and the double feel of being fucked while he licked her threatened to send Julia over the edge almost immediately. She felt herself pushed forward onto John’s tongue as Mark gripped her waist and moved her hips hard against his, the three of them locked in an awkward but irresistible embrace. As Julia braced a foot against the side of the boat, biting her lip and screwing her eyes shut, she didn’t notice they’d drifted back into the current. As she neared her climax, she suddenly felt a lurch as the boat tipped over the edge of the final drop, the three of them wrenched apart and falling through the air. Julia’s orgasm hit and she managed a shuddering intake of breath before everything fragmented and many things happened at once: she saw a flash of fire rolling towards them as they crashed into the pool below; her head spun with the force of her orgasm; all three of them were showered with water, shaken apart and left gasping, sturmed by their climaxes and disorientated.

  The three looked around to see Viking longboats burning with gas flames and fire licking over the water around them. The boat was circling aimlessly, adrift at the end of the ride. Julia lay back against the seat, soaked and trembling, her clothes bunched up and her legs aching from the exertion.

  John grinned at her, his face wet and shining.

  ‘Welcome to paradise, babe.’

  In the darkness, Julia tried to catch her breath, and saw in John’s twinkling, devilish eyes the reflection of Robert’s perversity. It seemed his presence followed her everywhere, no matter how hard she tried to escape.

  11

  HER HAIR WAS still dripping wet, her clothes splashed with water from the ride and creased from being roughly pushed aside by Mark and John. The cold night air was a refreshing blast and Julia could taste the salt spray on her lips as she walked to Robert’s waiting car, the two of them silently digesting the night’s adventures. As she sank into the leather seat beside Robert Julia felt again the strange sense of being intimately connected to a man she’d never slept with. Sitting next to him in the passenger seat she had a sudden feeling that they were joined together by her erotic explorations. Robert set up these situations as challenges, and not once had Julia backed out. Together they had shared Julia’s first encounter with a woman, and her first threesome. Always Robert had been there, inspiring the action and watching, if not actually getting involved. It was as though he was fucking her through other people – playing out his fantasies with Julia while he tormented her with his untouchable distance.

  ‘The more you push me to fuck other people, the more I want to fuck you.’

  Julia spoke without thinking, realising as soon as she uttered the words that she had never explicitly told Robert she wanted him. She’d stripped for him, danced with him, taken part in his sex games – but she’d never before admitted that it was him she wanted most of all. Now, in the luxurious comfort of his dark car, driving in the small hours of the morning, she had let down her guard for a second. As the silence continued and Robert still failed to answer, Julia felt her anxiety growing.

  ‘Did you hear what I said?’ she asked, half hoping he hadn’t.

  ‘Yes.’

  Robert was driving with one hand guiding the wheel and the other resting lightly on the gearstick. His face was lit up by the strobing streetlights of the motorway, and betrayed no expression.

  ‘Don’t you want to?’ Julia knew there was a hint of desperation creeping into her voice, but couldn’t help herself from asking.

  ‘I would have thought you’d be sated after those two.’ Robert was obviously joking. His voice was the wry languorous drawl that drove Julia to distraction, turning her on with his warm tone, yet frustrating her with his casual delivery. The more agitated she got and the more she pushed herself to turn Robert on, the more he seemed to lean back and enjoy her struggle.

  ‘Wasn’t that enough for you, Julia?’

  Julia thought of him watching in the shadows, taking photographs of her and Sylvie. She’d had sex she’d never have imagined in her wildest fantasies, and it had been incredible. New worlds of dark and outrageous sexual possibilities were opening up in her mind, and Robert was the one who’d instigated this strange journey. Yet the hands she’d felt on her, the mouths and tongues and bodies that had explored her intimately, were not the ones she wanted most of all. She wouldn’t be satisfied, truly satisfied, until she could do what she’d set out to do right at the start of this tour. She wanted Robert.

  ‘No,’ she said quietly, shaking her head in the dark. ‘It’s not enough. Not nearly.’

  ‘Really? You’re more of a challenge than I expected. I’ll have to come up with something more imaginative next time, I suppose. What do you think, a full-blown orgy? Some bondage, perhaps? What are your taboos, Julia?’

  ‘It’s not my taboos that I’m talking about, Robert. It’s yours.’

  Robert laughed, an easy generous laugh that irritated Julia even further. He sounded genuinely amused.

  ‘What, you think you don’t have any?’ she shot at him.

  ‘Oh, sure, I’ve got taboos, Julia. I presume you’ve worked them out already?’

  ‘You can’t fuck.’

  ‘Is that what you think?’ There was still amusement in his voice.

  ‘It’s blin
dingly obvious. You can only watch, only get off on other people’s pleasure. I don’t know why, though. Perhaps it’s a complex.’ Now Julia was going too far. She was bitter and angry, and knew it showed. Robert didn’t answer for a long while.

  As they approached the lit-up tents of the field where the circus lay, he slowed the car to a stop and turned to look at Julia. Their faces were obscured by the darkness, the sparkle of lights caught in their eyes and the faint outlines of their bodies slightly paler shadows in the black interior of the car.

  ‘Julia,’ he said softly, his voice serious now. ‘Do you think you’ve changed since you joined the circus?’

  She was startled by the simple question, in a way the most intimate thing Robert had ever asked her.

  ‘I’ve . . . I’ve changed so much I can’t recognise myself,’ she admitted, knowing this was true. Robert nodded.

  ‘What’s different?’

  Julia swallowed. She was used to sparring with Robert as part of their sexual adventures. She wasn’t used to having conversations with him that involved real, deep feelings. Yet she wanted to tell him the truth, feeling the question was as much a challenge as his daring her to fuck two strange men at once.

  ‘I feel like I’ve found a whole new world. Sex – sex used to be straightforward fucking.’ Julia kept her voice controlled. ‘And now there’s so much more.’

  ‘Julia, I can’t explain everything because you need to find things out for yourself. But imagine what’s out there, the experiences to be had, the excitement and the feelings. You’ve only just started to discover the circus.’ He looked at her again. ‘I don’t mean Circus Excite.’

  ‘You think sex is a circus, don’t you?’

  Robert laughed again.

  ‘Yes, I do. Life, love, sex, work. It’s all a circus, Julia.’ He seemed to lose himself in thoughts for a moment, looking at the tents and lights of the circus in front of them. Julia wondered where his thoughts went, this man who seemed to control everything with such a light touch.

  ‘Such stuff as dreams are made on,’ he murmured finally, as he put the car in gear and drove them through the open gate and into the sleeping site.

  It had been two weeks since the company had had a night off, and the atmosphere was jubilant. Around twenty of the crew decided to hit the centre of town, with Joe and Sarah drawing the short straws and declared drivers for the night. Crammed into the back of Joe’s truck among ropes and toolboxes, wedged tightly between a couple of the roustabouts, Julia found herself looking forward to her first work’s night out with the circus. She could only imagine what the reaction would be to the outlandish loud characters spilling onto the streets of Manchester.

  She’d dressed down for tonight, feeling relaxed in a denim skirt and a sheer top that felt like a delicious refreshing change after a fortnight in stage make-up and glittering, extreme costumes. With just a slick of mascara and some blusher on her cheekbones, Julia felt ready for a night of exploration in a strange city. As the truck shuddered over the cobbles and swung round sharp corners, the laughter and shouts of her fellow performers put Julia in a very good mood. She’d worked damn hard on the new routine, and since her late-night drive with Robert she’d sensed a change between them. There had been no seduction, just the unbearable ache of sexual tension; his dares and teases were unrelenting, but Julia thought she had a glimmer of insight into the man. Julia suspected he might even be developing a certain respect for her and her dancing skills. It made her job easier, and she sensed that the other members of the circus were also warming to her presence, with even the prickly Rachel refraining from her bitchy put-downs. For the moment, at least. Rachel was out with the crowd tonight, travelling in Sarah’s battered old Saab, and Julia felt uneasy knowing she’d be around.

  ‘Here, get some fizz down you.’ David, one of the sound techs, passed Julia a can of ‘fizz’ – cold lager. It seemed to be the drink of choice among the circus folk. Except for Robert, Julia thought, remembering the taste of the red wine he’d given her and Sylvie the night of the rainstorm. He was a solitary man, she’d noticed, politely declining to join the crowd going out in town, driving by himself. Though she supposed he needed to keep a distance between himself and his employees, Julia wondered if he ever got lonely, watching the crowds, directing the action, never joining in. For a moment she almost felt sorry for him, and then she quickly moved on as the lorry shuddered to a halt and the back doors were thrown open.

  They’d parked in a narrow street of brick buildings right in the centre of town, the truck pulling in behind Sarah’s car and the revellers making a noisy crowd that filled the street as they headed down towards Canal Street. Julia fell into step beside Sylvie, who wore a little white tutu and her ballet pumps, combined with a fake fur gilet and bikini top. This was a woman who wouldn’t know the meaning of ‘dressing down’, Julia thought as she walked alongside her, listening to her descriptions of the cities of Hungary and Poland that she’d travelled to, and the shows she’d seen and performed in.

  As the crowd moved along the streets they drew startled glances from passers-by, some people sniggering at the sight of them and some sneering. Julia noticed the vague sense of hostility they seemed to cause, and drew closer to the centre of the crowd. Some of the party did look outlandish, she knew: David’s heavy black eyeliner and the tattoos that snaked delicately across Henri’s temple and down his throat. Rachel was dressed in red, as ever, wearing a shockingly revealing lace basque and hot pants, combined with heavy black cowboy boots that were caked in mud from the site. Altogether, the crowd moved with a grace and dynamism that were bound to stand out on the street of a city, particularly when some of them were singing loudly and laughing with the throaty abandon of people who don’t give a damn what anyone thinks.

  A month ago, she would have been treading gingerly alongside this bunch, Julia thought. But tonight, she was marvelling at them. As Rachel responded to the leers of a crowd of guys in football tops with a swift V-sign, Julia suddenly felt a rush of wonderful freedom. She knew the skill and utter dedication the performers put into their shows, knew that they believed utterly in what they did. It was a hard gruelling lifestyle, and far from glamorous when you lived in a tiny caravan in a sea of mud for weeks on end. But it was also thrilling, exhilarating, rich and fascinating. With a toss of her hair, Julia grinned and turned to wink at Joe, close behind her and still looking nonplussed at the thought of an alcohol-free night ahead of him.

  ‘Don’t worry, Joe,’ she called to him. ‘There’s other ways to have fun. We’ll make it up to you.’

  ‘How d’you mean, Julia?’ Dave the sound tech chipped in, raising his eyebrows in a filthily suggestive way. ‘You got a suggestion for tonight’s entertainment?’ The conversation dissolved into good-natured elbowing and laughter as the party found a pub with a beer garden by the water, where they instantly swarmed over three tables and started shouting loud drinks orders at the beleaguered Joe.

  Above them the sky slowly grew dark as the drinks flowed and the night got rowdier. It was strange, for Julia, to see these people outside the circus setting. In contrast to the rest of the crowds they seemed more vivid, somehow larger than life. Henri was sitting next to her, and Julia was glad to listen to him talk about his great passions, art and film, with his strange long melancholy face expressing every thought. Tattoos like the stems and tendrils of plants curled round his temple, a subtle but exotic design that made Julia think of Maori warriors. As she listened, Julia watched the full moon rise, huge and white above the rooftops. Under its eerie glow, the face of her companion was lit with a faint unsettling light. Looking at the face of the moon, Henri’s conversation once again strayed to Rachel.

  ‘Am I just a fool, Julia?’ he asked sadly, looking surreptitiously at Rachel as she threw back her head laughing, arm-wrestling the guys at the next table. She was cheating, Julia noticed, digging in her nails till the men surrendered.

  ‘Henri, it’s not foolish to love someone,’ sh
e said gently, wondering if she really had the right to suggest advice to a man with years more experience than her. And what of her unrequited feelings for Robert? She pushed the man out of her mind, for tonight determined not to even think of him.

  ‘Maybe you need to change the way you’re playing the game?’ she said tentatively, reminding Henri of the advice he’d given her. ‘Try to find what Rachel likes . . .’ She stopped mid-sentence, noticing the expression of pain that crossed Henri’s face. He closed his eyes for a minute, and then looked up to smile at Julia. The moonlight caught his teeth and the whites of his eyes, and Julia was struck again by the strange craggy beauty of the man. Something about him touched her.

  ‘Julia, I don’t even know if I really want her. I think I enjoy the desire more than I’d enjoy the thing itself.’

  ‘Did you ever try?’ Julia asked, curious despite herself. ‘You seem to have a connection, you two. I think she feels more for you than you know.’ She looked over to where Rachel was watching them, casting one of her toe-curling looks at Julia. She winked back cockily, feeling as though she could take Rachel’s threats in her stride tonight.

  ‘In fact, Henri, I think she might even be jealous.’ Julia leant into his shoulder, letting Rachel see as she put her hand on Henri’s arm and stroked it slowly. ‘Don’t move,’ she whispered to him, ‘don’t look at her.’ She moved closer, sure that Rachel was still watching, and lifted her mouth to Henri’s. As her lips met his she felt the smooth cold flesh of his cheek against her mouth and tasted the sweet bitterness of beer. Closing her eyes, she sank into the kiss, letting her body fill with warmth as she experienced the strangeness of kissing him, allowing the arousal to spread through her although she wasn’t sure why it turned her on. Perhaps the fact that she knew Rachel was watching, or maybe that she enjoyed playing the part of the tricky young upstart, stirring the waters between these two. Julia knew that the fact she was younger than Rachel was both an advantage and a weakness – Rachel could pull rank on her with her experience and worldly-wise attitude. But although she was well preserved and shone with glamour, Julia knew Rachel would envy her fresh young skin, her delicious toned curves. Julia was well aware of her attractions and how to display them. She let her breasts rise under the sheer fabric of her top, pressing them against Henri’s chest and enjoying the feel of his hard gently muscular chest against her skin. When she first kissed him he’d almost jumped with surprise, but now he was responding to her mouth with a skill that Julia appreciated. It was a performance, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t have fun.