by Simmons, Pat
The mood was solemn as the two retreated into their own thoughts. Then Candace startled her, gripping her arm and grinning. “How about a girls’ night out? Since Royce has to pull a weekender, what about this Saturday? Let’s include Julia.”
Her friend was becoming giddy with excitement. “I now have a sister-in-law and a sister. Wait a minute…” She frowned. “That won’t work. If all three of us are out, we won’t have a babysitter.”
Solae wondered if Hershel was working the same shift, then realized to continue to allow him to invade her thoughts would only torture her. “Why not go to a fun place so my god-baby can come and Julia can bring little Ariel.” Solae shrugged. “It should be fun.” Again, she wondered about the boys—Hershel’s. They would enjoy the outing. But Solae couldn’t turn back. As far as she was concerned with Hershel Kavanaugh, it was all or nothing.
“Then we have a date.” Candace scooted back to her desk, almost tagging an employee.
“Oh, excuse me, Mrs. Kavanaugh,” the older woman said.
Candace grinned proudly. “Yes, I am.”
***
On Saturday afternoon before meeting Candace and Julia, Solae stopped by Target to get something special for Lindsay—just because. Of course, she couldn’t leave Ariel out, so Solae purchased a stuffed toy for her.
With her gifts in hand, she headed to McDonald’s, Candace’s choice for the month’s hangout. When she walked inside, the two sisters-in-law were already there. Candace waved her over.
“Wow. Is there ever a day when you don’t look good?” Julia teased, standing to scan Solae’s attire before hugging her.
Casual dress to Solae always meant coordination from shoes to hair. Lately, looking good on the outside helped her to feel good mentally.
“Hi, Aunt Sollie.” Lindsay ran out of the adjacent play area for a hug. Ariel wobbled behind, expecting the same treatment and Solae didn’t disappoint.
She handed the girls their gifts before taking a seat next to Candace and across from Julia. Solae enjoyed the sisterhood bond that now included Trent’s wife. It might not be a hair or face makeover or shopping, but girls’ night out meant locking out problems and being carefree for a few hours.
“You’re going to spoil her,” Julia fussed teasingly.
“Yeah, I’ve got that rap from this one here.” Solae shrugged and nodded toward Candace. “But when you can’t have your own children, you spoil other folk’s.”
“I’m sorry—”
“Julia, I accepted that fate a long time ago. I’m really okay with that.” Lord, help me to accept the fate that no man will ever want me because of that, Solae silently petitioned Jesus. “So…let’s eat.”
While the two friends chatted, Julia volunteered to walk up to the counter and place their orders. “Who needs shopping to unwind when I can eat a ‘Big Mac’ with friends,” Solae teased.
“Stop it.” Candace laughed. “I’m just happy to be happy with my sisters. I still haven’t stopped praying for Hershel to come to his senses.”
“Pray for God’s will. Happiness comes in other blessings besides marriage.”
Candace smirked. “When you convince yourself of that, let me know.”
Julia returned with a tray loaded down with sandwiches, fries, drinks, and two Happy Meals. Solae stood to help her. Once the food was divvied out, Ariel crawled on Julia’s lap as soon as her mother retook her seat, clutching the stuffed toy Solae brought her.
Bowing their heads, Candace led the blessing. “Jesus, we thank You for this fellowship, fun, and food. Please sanctify our food from all impurities and bless each household represented, and provide for those that are hungry. Thank You, in Jesus’ magnificent name. Amen.”
They all chuckled when even the baby repeated, “Amen.”
“Slow down, Lindsay, before you choke, or you won’t play.” Candace watched her daughter bite off her hamburger, once, twice, even a third time without swallowing.
“Yes, Mommy.”
Solae smiled as her god-daughter chewed each morsel thoroughly before taking another bite. Ariel played with her toy and French fries while Julia broke off pieces of the chicken nuggets and fed her daughter.
Once the children were finished, Lindsay took pleasure in assisting Ariel back to the play area. All three took turns keeping an eye on them as they talked about hair products, guessing what the trend would be for the summer, and shopping.
“I’m considering going for my Master’s degree,” Solae shared.
“I don’t know what’s been stopping you,” Candace commented.
Julia congratulated her and added, “I need to finish up my Bachelor’s.”
The topics continued to bounce around the table. Solae was surprised Royce’s name didn’t come up once, and neither did Hershel’s.
“You’d be proud of me that I actually assembled some new outfits with things I purchased on my honeymoo—” Candace screamed, causing Solae to jump as two muscular arms wrapped around Candace’s shoulders.
Solae patted her chest to regulate her heartbeat. Julia sat with a knowing smile and held up her hands in surrender. “I saw them come through the door and Royce looking around. He shhed me from tipping you off.”
Them? Was it possible that Hershel was with Royce? Solae not only used to know his shift, but listened faithfully to the emergency scanners for when his engine house was dispatched. Not anymore. Royce tickled Candace with kisses behind her ear. Immediately, the two forgot they had an audience. “How did you know I was here?”
“GPS tracking on our phones, babe, remember?” Royce wiggled a brow at the same time Lindsay saw him.
“Daddy! Daddy!” She barreled out of the play area with her arms stretched open.
Royce heaved his daughter up and delivered a juicy kiss to her cheek. Lindsay giggled but didn’t let go of his neck.
Rejoice with them that rejoice, the Bible said. What a happy ending. Solae held her breath when she caught Julia nodding at someone standing nearby. Was it Hershel? She was scared to look. No doubt if Solae had not walked away, she would be lovingly subjected to the same treatment.
“Hello, Captain Kavanaugh. You can’t speak?” Julia teased.
“Julia, Candace….Solae.” Hershel’s baritone voice spoke with authority. Gone was the cooing he reserved for her, but she shivered anyway, which meant one thing—he was looking at her.
“Hershel,” she mumbled without making eye contact with him. She stood. “Ah, I’m going to get another order of fries. Anybody want anything?” Solae didn’t wait for their answer or orders as she hurried to get away from Hershel’s presence.
She waved at a few firefighters she recognized. By the time she made it to the counter to order, the crowd had formed. That’s when she realized that her purse was at the table and she didn’t have enough money in her pocket for the parfait and cookie she decided to buy instead. “Oh, I’m sorry. I’m short. Will you take off the cookie?”
The cashier was about to do that when a customer behind her intervened. “I’ve got this pretty lady covered.”
Glancing over her shoulder, Solae was about to decline his generosity, but her words were caught in her throat. The only thing she could do was stare into his hazel eyes and linebacker build. She swallowed, then forced out, “That’s okay.”
He displayed a cocky smile. “I insist.”
“No, I insist that I’ve got this, man, thanks,” Hershel intervened, coming from out of nowhere. As if he had the right, Hershel slipped an arm around her waist like she belonged to him. As if paralyzed by his touch, she didn’t resist it or refute his offer.
Time froze as they stared at each other. Solae wondered at his thoughts as her mind was jumbled with all kinds of reactions to what he just did. Fighting against the mental hold on her, Solae broke the trance and looked away. A few firefighters seemed amused by their interaction.
“Thanks.” She took her items from his hand. “I’ll pay you back.” She made a beeline to the table where Julia s
eemed to be watching them with interest. Royce and Candace were watching each other.
“I don’t need your money,” he called after her.
But do you need me? she wanted to ask him, but probably wouldn’t get a straight answer. When she sat, she was shivering.
“Oh hi, Solae.” Royce took note of her as if he was just seeing her as he stood from his squatting position in front of Candace. “Well, you lovely ladies, I better grab a sandwich and head back to the station. I just hadn’t seen my wife since—”
“Yesterday.” Candace grinned.
“Yeah. More than twelve hours ago.” He winked.
As Royce joined his crew at the counter, Solae came to the realization that being around Candace’s brother-in-law wasn’t heart healthy. She doubted it was a setup, but Solae had to ask. “Did you two know they were coming?”
Julia and Candace shook their heads. Solae accepted it had been a chance encounter. The sad truth was she could expect it to happen again whenever she was with the Kavanaugh wives.
Would it always be this awkward? She definitely needed to use her other options to unwind and enlarge her circle of girlfriends—single ones. With the mood sour and her parfait tasteless, Solae decided it was best to leave. “I guess I better head home.” She stood and hugged them.
“You don’t have to go,” Julia pouted.
But Candace understood she had to as her friend nodded and mouthed, “I’ll call you.”
Glancing over her shoulder, Solae inwardly moaned. The firefighters hadn’t budged and without an emergency, they didn’t appear to be in a rush.
Great. Solae rolled her eyes. She gave Lindsay and Ariel their hugs, then with chin held high, she got ready for her escape.
Heels never slowed Solae down as she made it to the side door. It opened before she could push it. “I’ll walk you out.”
Hershel must have calculated her steps and predicted her every move. She didn’t acknowledge him as she kept walking to her car. Once she deactivated her alarm, she turned and faced him. “This is hard,” she whispered. Her eyes misted.
“It doesn’t have to be, babe.” His voice was soft. Gone was the authoritative tone of a captain.
“You can’t give me what I want.”
“All of a sudden?” He frowned. “Tell me what you want.”
Solae reached for her car door, but Hershel’s reflex was faster as his hand covered hers.
“Tell me,” he repeated more forcefully.
“You’ve had my heart for nine months now, Hershel. You’ve unlocked every secret in it. I didn’t hold back,” she said calmly when she wanted to shout, “I want you to marry me,” but desperation was not part of Solae Wyatt-Palmer’s makeup. Just then, she heard the familiar voice of a dispatcher over his emergency radio.
He heard it, too, as he opened her door for her to slide in. “This isn’t over.”
Solae didn’t respond. Strike three. She was out!
Chapter 6
“Jesus, I need a word from You. You said You would direct my path. What is my purpose?” Solae’s questions were endless as she cried out to the Lord while dressing for Sunday worship service.
Amazingly, she didn’t cry herself to sleep after her brief encounter with Hershel the night before.
Seeing Hershel proved she would never be able to fall out of love with him, but she could learn to contain it. That will power was a good sign, so she had no dark circles or puffiness under her eyes that sought extra attention.
Slipping her feet into her strappy stilettos, Solae gave herself an approving look. She loved white and her dress had a single row of ruffles flirting at her knees. It complemented the stylish hat she chose to wear.
With her Bible, purse, and keys in hand, she left to be refreshed and recharged, and to rejoice in her salvation despite her status in life. “Speak to me, Lord.”
The atmosphere seemed to change as soon as she turned onto Rapture Ready Church’s parking lot. With a common purpose to praise the Lord, she joined others in their trek to the front entrance.
She never appreciated the hugs so much from the church mothers, the “Praise the Lord’s” from the deacons, and the kisses from fellow church sisters as she did at that moment. She felt Christ’s love.
For years, she and Candace had sat in the same pew. Now that Candace had officially changed her membership to the Kavanaugh’s church, Solae had started to feel like a visitor in that spot. So she began pew hopping until she got comfortable again.
She knelt and said a quick prayer of thanks to be in God’s house of worship one more time as the praise team started off with “Somebody Prayed for Me, Had Me on Their Mind.”
The songs continued to seep into Solae’s soul as she shut out her petty problems and focused on all her blessings. By the time that segment of service concluded, tears were streaming down her face. Solae welcomed the spiritual cleansing.
As she dabbed her eyes, Pastor Reed approached the podium. “Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him!”
His declaration echoed throughout the sanctuary. “In heartache, I’ll trust Him, in sickness, I’ll trust Him. Job 13:15 says, ‘Though He slay me, yet will I trust in Him: but I will maintain mine own ways before Him.’ To trust God means to prosper in your situation.”
Lord, I do feel like love is trying to take me down, Solae told Jesus while flipping through the pages of her Bible to find the passage. She didn’t believe in pity parties, even after she got the news that she would not be able to bear children, even after the first man rejected her, then the second. It was proving harder with Hershel. He already had children, so she thought his only excuse had to be from the scars marred by his ex-wife.
He didn’t say it had to do with her not having children, but she knew the look. She also recognized the defiant look in his eyes that said he wasn’t going to hurt her. Solae loved him for that, but he already had.
“Sometimes it seems that everything comes at us all at once and overwhelms us,” Pastor Reed explained his comparison, recapturing her attention. “God knows your strengths, even if you don’t. He has confidence in your trust in Him that He will deliver you. And He won’t disappoint. It’s not time for you to lose your faith now. Though He slay me, yet will I prosper in my soul because I trust in Him.”
I’ve never associated the word “prosper” with trust, she thought as she scribbled her notes.
“Go through, saints, without murmuring, or complaining, or hosting a pity party where the devil is the guest of honor.” Her pastor then began to describe a mental and physical checklist where the devil inflicts hurt on people from the most simplistic to the most complex situations. He must have stepped on folks’ shoes, because when he got to their issues, “Amens” rose up. Pastor Reed continued and finally talked on matters of the heart. “There is recovery from disappointing relationships.”
“Thank You, Jesus, for speaking to me,” Solae whispered.
“As I wind down this morning, I want this point to stick. Whatever you’re going through today, it does have an end goal. For Romans 8:18 says, ‘For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.’ If you trust God, you’re guaranteed to prosper in Jesus’ name. Amen.”
Closing his Bible, Pastor Reed pointed his hands in the air in the direction of heaven. Most in the audience stood to their feet and wildly applauded, mixing “Hallelujahs” with “Thank You, Jesus” and a few “Amens”.
“We’ve come to the highlight of the service. Trust God today to rescue you from the hands of the devil. You don’t have to die in your sins. Repent from where you’re standing. You’ve trusted other people and they’ve failed you. Jesus won’t. He didn’t come down from the cross, did He? That’s proof that your salvation is important to Him.”
He paused and scanned the sanctuary. “Pray, saints. Someone is afraid today to trust God. The Lord is faithful. You can call His bluff that He will never leave you or forsake you…won’t
you come today and receive prayer? The Bible says in Acts 2:38, ‘Repent and be baptized.’ Won’t you come? God is ready to give you a new life with the Holy Ghost and will speak to you through His tongues. Won’t you come?”
As Pastor Reed stretched out his hand, the flood gates opened, and people came, mostly teenagers followed by a couple of women. Solae praised God for the handful of men who put aside their pride to recognize they needed Jesus to run the show.
Once the candidates repented and received prayer, they entered into a chamber where they changed into white garments, and were then led to the pool where ministers waited to baptize them.
“My sister, upon the confession of your faith and the confidence we have in the blessed word of God, we indeed baptized you in the name of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ for the remission of your sins in Jesus’ name. God will fill you with His Spirit through His tongues, according to Acts 2. Amen.” The two ministers in the pool took turns making the proclamation before burying the candidate and lifting them out of the water as a new creature. The church went wild with crazy, unrestrained praise. The sanctuary was transformed into a sports-complex-like atmosphere as they cheered on each soul from the first to the last.
The pastor had indeed tapped into her despair. Job 13:15 continued to rewind in Solae’s head: Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him; though He slay me, yet will I trust Jesus. “Jesus, teach me to trust You.”
The service didn’t appear to be close to concluding with its spirit of high praise. Solae couldn’t wait any longer for a potty break, so she excused herself. “Pardon me,” she said, leaving her pew and heading to the exit.
The automatic lights came on when she walked into the ladies room, indicating it was empty. However, Solae thought she heard something, so she strained her ears. It sounded like sobbing, ever so softly, coming from the women’s lounge area opposite the stalls.
She headed in that direction and there sat a lone woman with her hands covering her face, crying. Solae cautiously approached her so not to scare her and whispered, “Sister, sister, are you okay?”
