Rabbit Racer

by Tamsyn Murray

  Puffing and panting, I scowled up at him. It was all right for him! No one was expecting him to become the world’s first agility bunny. In fact, looking up at his tubby tummy, I didn’t think anyone would be asking him to run around anything.

  ‘There’s no need to yell, Dad,’ Susie said, fanning my hot ears with her clipboard. ‘Harriet’s a Stunt Bunny, not a racer.’

  ‘Hmmmm,’ EE said, not looking convinced. ‘We can’t risk losing our place on Superpets. Harriet must win.’

  Susie looked worried as EE stroked his chin thoughtfully. ‘What we need is a Bunny Boot Camp,’ he went on. ‘And I know just the man to help.’

  Minutes later, he was on the phone and it didn’t take long for me to work out he was talking to our vet.

  ‘Strict diet of hay and water, you say?’ I heard him say and he poked his head around the kitchen door to study me. ‘No treats at all? Sounds good to me.’

  Huh. It might sound good to EE, but he wasn’t the one eating it. Susie and I looked at each other and a nasty feeling crept over me. The vet and I didn’t really get along. There’d been a silly misunderstanding once with a Labrador puppy in his surgery and the vet had never forgotten it. I was sure he’d be keen to get his own back if he could.

  EE was nodding importantly into the phone. ‘Quite right,’ he said. ‘It does make sense for you to pop in here. We’ll see you in the morning for a full check-up.’

  I didn’t like the sound of that at all. Normally when I saw the vet, horrible things involving needles happened. I was getting a bad feeling about EE’s Bunny Boot Camp.

  It didn’t start well. I’m not really a morning person and the vet arrived at the Wilson house before EE had even left for work. Under Susie’s watchful eye, he took my temperature, shone his tiny torch into my eyes, weighed me and even checked my teeth. Finally he folded his arms in satisfaction.

  ‘This rabbit is in perfect health. There’s really no need to put her on a diet.’

  Chewing on his fingernail, EE said, ‘That’s all very well, but is she fit enough to win the race?’

  Our vet chuckled and shook his head. ‘Be sensible, Mr Wilson. Rabbits aren’t made for agility racing. It’s the most ridiculous thing I ever heard.’

  EE frowned. ‘Ordinary bunnies maybe, but Harriet is rather unusual.’

  With a shudder, the vet glared at me. ‘I know. It took us three days to clean up the surgery last time she came to see us.’

  Was he still going on about that? Anyone would think it was my fault the computer blew up. Honestly, some people could really hold a grudge.

  ‘She didn’t mean to do it,’ Susie said, lifting me up and cuddling me. ‘And I think she can beat Taz. Harriet is a super-bunny.’

  The vet laughed as though she’d told him a funny joke and picked up his bag to leave. ‘If that rabbit wins the race, I’ll eat my stethoscope.’

  Now that was something I wouldn’t mind seeing and it looked as though EE felt the same way. Once he’d shown the vet out, he came back with a determined expression on his face. ‘Well, Harriet, ready for Bunny Boot Camp?’

  I sat up on my back legs and waggled my paws. Whatever it took to beat Tornado Taz, I’d do it. Rabbit Racer was ready to run!

  He might not be about to win any races himself, but, when it came to running a boot camp, EE was no slouch. Armed with a clipboard, I spent each sunrise sprinting laps around the garden and doing bunny-kick press-ups. Lunch was a carrot and cabbage smoothie served by Susie’s mum and snacks were off the menu, in spite of Lily’s best efforts to feed me Smudge’s biscuits. At sunset, I practised my rabbit punches on Susie’s gloved hands and panted up and down the garden steps while EE glared at the stopwatch, frowning. Smudge watched lazily from his usual spot on top of the guinea pig hutch and pretended he wasn’t interested in whether I won or lost. I knew he was rooting for me really, even if he did sometimes wish he could be more like Tornado Taz.

  By the time the night before the race arrived, I was fighting fit. Even EE seemed satisfied.

  ‘Great work, Harriet!’ he cried as I finished my final run up the steps and tried to catch my breath. ‘All you need now is a good night’s sleep and you’ll be ready for anything Taz can throw at you.’

  Huh, I thought, there’s no chance of that happening, not with those giggling guinea pigs around. But even Salt and Pepper seemed to understand that something important was happening and were quiet as we settled down for the night. I wasn’t taking any chances, though; I had my carrot-top ear plugs handy just in case the guinea pigs changed their minds.

  I was woken up by a loud rustling noise outside my hutch. The garden was dark, clouds covering the moon. Salt and Pepper were silent. Hopping forwards, I peered out, wondering whether Smudge had popped outside for a midnight snack. When the clouds parted, I was puzzled to see the moonlight flash on something shiny outside my door. Then a scarf-covered face loomed in front of me and I became even more confused. It looked like Madame Belladonna, but what on earth was she doing out at this time of night? And why was she in our garden?

  ‘We meet again, ’Arriet ’Oudini,’ she whispered, holding up a pair of bolt cutters.

  I shook my head to dislodge my ear plugs. Madame Belladonna’s voice sounded funny, deeper than usual and strangely familiar. If I didn’t know better, I’d say she almost sounded like a man. She snapped off the padlocks on my door and reached inside.

  ‘We go on ze leetle journey,’ she murmured as she lifted me out of my hutch.

  I wriggled and struggled, but Madame Belladonna was surprisingly strong. Before I knew it, she’d pushed me into the round birdcage we’d seen her carrying in on the day she’d first arrived, through the open bottom. She clipped the bottom of the cage back on, trapping me inside. In a flash, I knew Lily had been wrong; it had never been ‘Pretty Polly’s’ house. It was mine!

  There wasn’t much room inside. My tail was squashed against the wire bars at the back and my whiskers poked out of the sides. Over my head, a little swing banged against my ears and a tiny bell tinkled when I moved. Madame Belladonna picked the cage up and held me level with her nose.

  ‘Say ze goodbyes to your old life, ’Arriet. You’re my bunny now!’

  If I hadn’t understood what was happening before, I did now. Madame Belladonna was more than just the little old lady who lived next door – she was a rabbit-napper and I was the target of her evil plans. I didn’t know where or why she was taking me, but I had no intention of going anywhere. It was time for a Stunt-Bunny style escape. But how? The cage was small and I had no room to kick my legs.

  Madame Belladonna turned round and headed towards the fence between our garden and hers. The cage swung round and I saw my comfy hutch disappearing behind me. My eyes strayed to the guinea pigs’ run. If I could wake Salt and Pepper up, maybe they could raise the alarm. Furiously, I waggled my ears backwards and forwards. The bell on the swing jangled and chimed. In the guinea pig hutch, a faint rustling began in the straw. Peering out of the cage, I saw the flash of black eyes at the bars and I wriggled even more.

  Suddenly, the air was filled with high-pitched meeping as Salt and Pepper realised what was happening. They raced around their hutch, thudding into the walls and crashing into the door. Madame Belladonna muttered under her breath and speeded up. The birdcage jerked around, making the bell tinkle even more. Crossing my paws, I hoped all the noise was enough to wake the Wilsons up.

  Madame Belladonna was just about to swing me and the birdcage over the fence when EE flung the bedroom window open.

  ‘What is going on out there?’ he bellowed. ‘Some of us are trying to get some sleep!’

  Madam Belladonna froze and the birdcage spun round, giving me a rollercoaster view of EE’s frowning face and the guinea pigs’ wriggling noses. For one horrible moment, I thought EE wouldn’t spot me in the dark, but the bell above my head continued to ring, giving the game away.

  ‘Stop right there, whoever you are, or I’ll call the police!’ he yel
led. ‘Hang on, Harriet, I’m coming down!’

  ‘Time for ze quick getaway!’ Madame Belladonna muttered and she lifted her leg to climb into her garden. Heart pounding, I willed EE to hurry. In a few seconds I’d be over the fence and EE wouldn’t know where I’d gone. I had to do something to stall my kidnapper!

  I had seconds to come up with a plan. Desperately, I stared around the birdcage. The bell was still ringing madly and the swing was – well – swinging, but they were no use to me now. The door was bird-sized; I’d be lucky to fit my paw through it. I needed another escape route, fast!

  Madame Belladonna had one leg straddling the fence and was balancing on top, ready to swing me and her other leg over. She wobbled and the cage trembled with her. Suddenly, I knew what to do. If I could make Madame Belladonna lose her balance, she’d have to let go of me and the cage would fall to the ground. She wouldn’t have time to come back and get me before EE made it to the garden.

  Wriggling as much as I could, I pushed my tail up the cage wall and balanced on my front legs, in a rabbit paw-stand. Then, with an enormous thrust, I kicked my legs towards the dome at the top of the cage.

  ‘Stop eet!’ Madame Belladonna shouted, clasping her bobble hat to her head with her free hand and glaring at me. ‘We will fall to ze death if you are not careful!’

  I kicked out again, even harder this time. At the same time, the back door of the Wilson house flew open and EE appeared in his tartan dressing gown and football-shaped slippers, with Susie and the rest of the family close behind.

  ‘Halt! Who goes there?’

  It was all too much for Madame Belladonna. She lost her balance and began to slide sideways. I fired my hardest kick yet at the top of the cage and the handle slipped from her fingers. With a startled yell, Madame Belladonna fell into her garden, just as the cage crashed to the ground and broke apart.

  For a second, I lay there, breathing hard. Then I heard a scrabbling noise next door and I knew Madame Belladonna was getting away. Well, I wasn’t having that – no one tries to bunny-nap me and escape so easily! Without thinking, I was up and racing towards the beach-ball at the bottom of the garden. Leaping on to it, I bounced high into the air. A quick glance down told me that Madame Belladonna was running towards her house with surprising speed for an old lady. So she thought she could escape a rabbit racer, did she? We’d just see about that!

  Changing course mid-air, I aimed for her bobble hat. I’d never had to land on a moving target before and it took all my Stunt Bunny skills to do it. Madame Belladonna let out a terrified yell.

  ‘Aaaargh! Get off, you crazy animal!’

  She shook her head from side to side. The hat began to come loose and the scarf fell down to her chin. I gripped on and felt myself sliding forwards over her nose. As I came face to face with her, I was in for a shock. Underneath the hat and scarf, she had thick, curly hair and a big, black moustache. Madame Belladonna wasn’t a Madame at all. She was a he! Our next-door neighbour was none other than my old enemy, the Great Maldini!

  He reached up and grabbed me. ‘I ’ave you now, ’Arriet ’Oudini. Soon we will be far from ’ere and you will be ze new star of my magic show!’

  Not if I had anything to do with it. Remembering my Bunny Boot Camp boxing sessions with Susie, I lifted both paws and delivered a flurry of rabbit punches to the Great Maldini’s long, pointy nose.

  ‘Ouch, by dose!’ he yelled, letting go of me to clutch at his face.

  In a flash, I scrambled up on to his head and kicked off hard, aiming for the tree branch above. All that agility training came in handy as my claws gripped the bark. I picked my way carefully along the thin branch until I was over the Wilsons’ garden. Then I threw myself upwards into a triple bunny backflip and landed in Susie’s waiting arms.

  ‘Oh, Harriet,’ Susie sobbed, burying her face in my grey fur. ‘You were ever so brave.’

  EE waved a garden fork over the fence as the Great Maldini vanished into the house. Seconds later, we heard the roar of an engine. Rushing to the front garden, we were just in time to see the Great Maldini burst through his front door on a shiny red motorbike.

  He revved the engine and raised a hand as he sped off down the street. ‘Until we meet again, ’Arriet ’Oudini! Ze Great Maldini never gives up!’

  Lights came on in all the other houses as people came out to see what the hubbub was about. The Wilson family stared at the disappearing motorbike in disbelief.

  ‘So the Great Maldini is Madame Belladonna’s son?’ Mrs Wilson said in a confused voice, as Lily snuggled sleepily against her shoulder.

  EE waved away the last of the smoke from the motorbike’s engine. ‘I don’t think our neighbour was who she said she was. I suspect Madame Belladonna was the Great Maldini all along!’

  Susie gasped and held me tightly. ‘And he was after Harriet again, but she was too clever for him.’

  Smiling, EE looked at me. ‘She was. Salt and Pepper helped too. If they hadn’t made so much noise, we might not have woken up.’

  Then Mrs Wilson glanced at her watch. ‘Goodness me, back to bed, everyone,’ she commanded. ‘It’s Harriet’s big race in a few hours and I think we’ve had quite enough excitement for one night.’

  ‘But what if the Great Maldini comes back?” Susie said, a worried expression on her face. ‘Harriet could still be in danger.’

  EE thought for a moment. ‘I suppose she could sleep indoors for once.’

  Smudge didn’t look pleased, but I twitched my nose happily. Salt and Pepper were bound to be excited from all the adventures, so I doubted I’d get any sleep at all next to them. No, a nice cosy snooze in the warmth of my travel basket was exactly what I needed to be ready for Superpets. When I woke up, Taz was going to be in for the race of his life.

  The Superpets studio was packed for the special race show. Backstage, people were squeezed into every corner and most of them wore T-shirts with ‘Team Taz’ or ‘Team Harriet’ on them. Even Spike-tacular had special outfits on, each of them with a letter which spelled out my name. Doodle and Miranda had clearly chosen their side and were wearing Taz T-shirts and little furry cat ears. Miranda was fussing around Tim, offering him chocolate fudge cake and cups of tea.

  ‘I’ve always been a cat person,’ she said, fluttering her eyelashes at him. ‘And Doodle simply adores them.’

  ‘I bet she does,’ Tim replied, watching Doodle bare her teeth in an unfriendly grin at Taz. ‘For breakfast or dinner, usually?’

  Miranda threw back her head and laughed loudly. ‘You’re so funny, Tim. How have we got along without you?’

  Gloria bustled up to them both. ‘It’s almost time for the race,’ she said to Tim. ‘I hope Taz is in tip-top form?’

  Taz swished his tail and let out an enthusiastic mrrrow. Tim nodded. ‘He’s looking forward to it.’

  Turning to EE and Susie, Gloria smiled. ‘No need to ask if Harriet is ready. I bet she’s raring to go.’

  EE yawned. ‘She’s certainly been training hard.’

  ‘Excellent,’ Gloria said, rubbing her hands together. ‘I’m hoping for a real ratings winner to knock that dancing show on the other channel off the top spot.’

  As the other adults talked, Miranda rummaged in her handbag and offered a small white tube to Susie. ‘I almost forgot to give you this. It’s special cream to stop Harriet’s paws from hurting. Make sure you rub it in before the race begins.’ She lowered her voice. ‘Don’t tell anyone about this. I don’t want Taz to get jealous.’

  Susie took the tube and peered at it doubtfully. ‘Thank you, Miranda. Are you sure it will help?’

  Miranda gave a thin smile. ‘Oh yes. It will definitely do the trick.’

  Gloria checked her watch. ‘Come along, racers. It’s time we got you to the start line.’

  By the time we reached the sawdust-filled ring where the race was taking place, Susie seemed more nervous than I was. ‘Good luck, Harriet,’ she said, squeezing the tube Miranda had given her and rubbing the
cream into my paws with shaking hands. ‘Be careful.’

  I sniffed at my feet suspiciously. It wasn’t like Miranda to be helpful and whatever was in that cream, it smelled strange. Beside us, Tim was whispering last-minute instructions into Taz’s twitching ear. Then he patted his head and both owners backed away. It was just the cat and me. Gloria hovered nearby, talking into the camera.

  ‘It’s a world exclusive! Superpets favourite, Harriet Houdini, races against newcomer, Tornado Taz.’ She leaned into the camera, a tense look on her face. ‘Stay tuned to find out who wins!’

  I glanced over at Taz. He was poised at the start line, his ears flat and his tail wrapped with a special support bandage. Hopping towards him, I gave him a ‘may-the-best-pet-win’ nudge and he turned his green-eyed gaze on me. Without blinking, he reached down and touched his nose to mine. Then he turned away and I took up my place on the starting line once more.

  Gloria was looking our way and she had a tiny starter’s gun in her hand. ‘Superpets, are you ready?’

  I glanced out at the two identical obstacle courses side by side. Was that a see-saw at the start? Susie and I hadn’t practised with one of those. But EE had shown me some clips of dog agility races and I’d seen the best way to handle a see-saw. I hoped it was as easy as it looked.

  ‘On your marks . . . get set . . .’ Gloria aimed the pistol up in the air and squeezed the trigger. ‘Go!’

  And we were off. Up to the see-saw, we were pretty evenly matched. Taz hit the yellow slope ahead of me and I saw him slow down to wait for the end to drop before he crossed it. When I hit the plastic, something strange happened. Instead of slowing down the way I meant to, my paws didn’t grip. They slid. So rather than crossing in a calm, controlled way, I zoomed up one side, then down the other, and hit the sawdust at the other side before Taz.