The Forgotten Recipe

by Amy Clipston

  “We better go,” Stephen said, climbing into the driver’s seat. “Gut nacht.”

  The sisters echoed the words as Jason got into the buggy.

  “Did you have a gut time with Mary?” Stephen asked with a sideways glance as he guided the buggy down the rock driveway.

  “Ya,” Jason said, lifting one shoulder up and down. “She’s a nice maedel.”

  “So you like her?” Stephen actually grinned.

  “Are you a matchmaker now?” Jason asked. “You’re my younger bruder, remember? You shouldn’t be trying to take care of me. It should be the other way around.”

  “Leah and I were just trying to help. You seem so unhappy lately, and Mary really likes you. Why not try to get to know her?”

  Jason looked out the window and sighed. Maybe his brother was right and it was time for him to start dating again. Mary seemed nice enough, but he couldn’t stop thinking about Veronica Fisher. He wished he’d been free at the gathering to find someone who might have known her. He knew he wouldn’t stop thinking about her until he had a chance to talk to her. Perhaps after he had the opportunity to apologize to her he would be able to concentrate on getting to know Mary.

  CHAPTER 4

  ON WEDNESDAY MORNING, VERONICA BALANCED A PIE plate in her hands as she stood between Mamm and Emily on Bishop Dienner’s front porch. His wife, Fannie Mae, was recovering from pneumonia, and when Emily knocked on their door, it was the couple’s daughter, Lindann, who swung it open.

  “Hello,” Lindann said, motioning for them to come in. “Danki for coming by. Mei mamm will be thrilled to see you.”

  They followed Lindann into the kitchen, where Fannie sat at the table.

  “Hi, Fannie Mae,” Mamm said. “How are you feeling?”

  “Much better, danki,” Fannie Mae said before giving a little cough.

  “We brought you one of Veronica’s raspberry pies to cheer you up.”

  “I hope you like raspberries,” Veronica said as she pulled the foil off the pie and placed it in front of Fannie Mae.

  “Oh!” Fannie Mae’s tired face lit up with delight. “This looks wunderbaar.” She looked at Veronica. “You made this?”

  Veronica nodded. “I found mei mammi’s recipes in the attic. We’ve always been blessed with a generous amount of raspberries in the summer, so I thought I would try out the recipe.”

  “I can’t wait to taste it,” Fannie Mae said.

  Veronica cut five slices and placed them on plates while Lindann poured mugs of coffee. When Fannie Mae and Lindann tasted the pie, their eyes widened, just as the Englishers’ had done last week.

  “Veronica,” Fannie Mae offered after her first bite, “this is more than wunderbaar. It’s positively fantastic!”

  “Oh, Veronica,” Lindann gushed, “you must let me take a pie to my cousin Amanda. She owns the Ronks Bakery, and I think she would love to sell these.”

  “Ya,” Fannie Mae agreed. “These would be perfect for Amanda’s bakery. You have to give her a pie to try. She’ll take orders.”

  “Would it be all right if I called my cousin and told her to contact you?” Lindann asked.

  Veronica dabbed her mouth with a napkin and nodded. “Ya. Danki.”

  Her cheeks flushed with embarrassment. She’d only made the pies as a coping mechanism. Baking helped her avoid the suffocating grief that threatened to grip her every morning when she woke up and every night before she fell asleep. She never meant for baking the pies to be anything other than a hobby. Now two more people had told her she should sell the pies, more than occasionally as she had to the Englishers visiting her home. Veronica turned to her mother, who smiled with pride. She took that as a sign that she should allow her friend to try to sell the pies for her at the Ronks Bakery.

  LATE THAT AFTERNOON, VERONICA WAS PULLING A PIE OUT of the oven when Rachel rushed through the door after her day working at the market.

  “Let’s go see Irma Rose and her boppli tonight,” Rachel urged, dropping her tote bag on the floor.

  “That’s a wunderbaar idea!” Emily gushed while wiping her hands on a dish towel. “She had a girl, right?”

  “That’s right, and she’s two weeks old now, so it’s all right for us to visit.” Rachel snatched an apple from the fruit bowl on the counter. “They named her Sarah. I can’t wait to meet her.”

  “David must be so excited,” Emily said. “He’s an onkel.”

  “Ya, he is, and when we’re married, I’ll be the aenti.” Rachel blew out a dramatic sigh.

  “That will be nice,” Veronica said. “We’ll have to go get a gift before we visit, though.”

  “I stopped at the grocery store on the way home and picked up a package of diapers and some wipes,” Rachel said, waving off her comment. She pointed toward the four pies cooling on the rack. “You can share one of your famous pies, Veronica.”

  “I wouldn’t call them famous yet,” Veronica said. “Let’s see if Lindann’s cousin really thinks anyone will buy them at her bakery first.”

  The bottom step of the stairs squeaked, announcing Mamm’s return from the sewing room on the second floor. “Rachel,” she said as she stepped into the kitchen, “I didn’t hear the van drop you off. How was market today?”

  “Gut.” She beamed. “Let’s go see David’s schweschder’s new boppli tonight. I’ve already picked up a gift. We should go right after supper.” Rachel sighed. “I can’t wait to hold her. David said he’ll be there too.”

  Mamm paused, seeming to debate this. “All right. But we don’t want to be a burden. We’ll only visit for a few minutes.”

  “Yay.” Rachel clapped her hands. “Just think, I have a niece.”

  “Be careful, mei liewe,” Mamm warned, placing a hand on Rachel’s shoulder. “You and David aren’t officially engaged yet, let alone married.”

  Veronica frowned, not even hearing Rachel’s reply. She’s closer to marriage than I’ll ever be. She wanted to kick herself for feeling jealous, which was another sin, but the feeling crept up on her. She was happy for her sister, who had been dating David for more than three years, but she also longed to have the same joy back in her life.

  “I’ll start supper,” Veronica said, thankful for the distraction. “How about fried chicken, corn, and green beans?”

  “Sounds perfect,” Mamm said, sidling up to Veronica by the counter. “I’ll help you.”

  AFTER SUPPER, VERONICA AND EMILY EACH CARRIED A PIE as they walked to Irma Rose’s house at the end of their street. They lagged behind Rachel and their mother, who nodded in response as Rachel talked on and on about how she couldn’t wait to get married and have children.

  “Was iss letz?” Emily asked.

  “Nothing.” Veronica forced a smile. “I’m just tired today.”

  “Did you have a difficult time sleeping last night?” Emily’s pretty face was full of concern.

  “I slept fine, but it took me a long time to fall asleep.” It was the truth. Thoughts of Seth had overtaken her mind, and she cried as softly as possible into her pillow while once again mourning all their dashed plans.

  “I can’t imagine how difficult this is for you.” Emily placed her hand on Veronica’s shoulder. “Remember Psalm 46? The Lord said, ‘Be still, and know that I am God.’ He’s with us always, even in our times of trouble. I’m always here too. If you ever can’t sleep, you can come in with me. I’ll always listen, even if it’s two in the morning.”

  Veronica nodded as tears drenched her eyes. She was so thankful for her wonderful sisters. She had girlfriends in their community, but over the last couple of years Rachel and Emily had become her best friends. She did not want to hurt her closer friends, so many of whom offered to walk beside her in her grief, by confessing it was the comfort of her sisters she most craved among the young of their community.

  “Danki, Emily.”

  Their shoes crunched up the rocky path leading to the front door of Irma Rose’s small house, which was on the same property as her par
ents’ large farmhouse. Rachel knocked, and Susannah, Irma Rose’s mother, answered the door.

  “Hello,” Susannah said as she gestured for them to come in. “It’s so nice to see you all.”

  “Hi, Susannah,” Rachel said as she stepped inside with their mother. She was holding a pink gift bag containing the disposable diapers and package of wipes. “I can’t wait to see the boppli.”

  Veronica followed Emily through the door, and they handed the pies to Susannah. “Hi, Susannah,” Veronica said. “We brought two raspberry pies. Please feel free to save them for later.”

  “Oh, danki, Veronica.” Susannah inhaled the sweet aroma. “I haven’t had a raspberry pie in years. We will enjoy this.”

  “Gern gschehne,” Veronica said before following Emily into the family room. Rachel was already seated in a rocking chair and holding the tiny baby wrapped in a pink blanket. Mamm stood behind her, smiling down at the infant, and Irma Rose’s husband, Melvin, sat nearby.

  Veronica and Emily took seats on a sofa near Rachel, who smiled at David, sitting next to her in a chair. “David, I can’t wait until we have our own kinner.”

  Veronica noticed David briefly nodded but did not return Rachel’s smile. Was something bothering him tonight?

  “May I hold her?” Emily asked. “She’s so schee.” Rachel handed her the baby, and Emily looked down at little Sarah as she touched her tiny fingers.

  “Ya,” Veronica agreed. “She is.” Then her delight dissipated as she admired the newborn’s tiny face. Would I have had a boppli with Seth? Would the boppli have looked like Seth or me? Or would the kind have had a mixture—his green eyes and my nose? She bit her lip in an effort to keep her emotions at bay.

  “Where’s Irma Rose?” Mamm asked.

  “She’s taking a nap,” Melvin explained. “She’s been really worn out.”

  “We shouldn’t stay long,” Mamm said. “Irma Rose needs her rest. I don’t want her to hear our voices and think she has to join us.”

  Rachel sighed. “Mamm’s right, but I just couldn’t wait to see little Sarah.” She touched David’s hand. “I know you’re excited to be an onkel, ya?”

  David nodded but kept staring at his lap. Veronica wondered again what could be going on with him, especially when she saw the delight in Rachel’s eyes fade a bit. She felt a pang of concern, but she’d leave it to her sister. She shouldn’t get involved unless Rachel asked her to.

  “David, would you please make sure Irma Rose gets the gift bag?” Rachel nodded toward the bag now sitting on the coffee table.

  “Ya,” David mumbled.

  “Veronica,” Susannah said as she stood in the doorway leading to the small kitchen. She held up a dish with a piece of the raspberry pie on it. “I couldn’t wait to try this. It’s appeditlich. Do you take orders?” She pushed her fork through her piece, ready to eat another chunk.

  Veronica shrugged. “Ya, I could.”

  “I’d like to order six from you,” Susannah said. “I’m going to a family reunion next week, and I’d love to take them.”

  “Six?” Veronica asked.

  “Ya. I’ll need them next Monday. Do you think you can have them ready by then?” Susannah asked.

  “Ya, I’ll have them ready for you.”

  “Danki. I can’t wait for my aenti to try this. She’ll love it!”

  WHEN THEY ARRIVED HOME FROM IRMA ROSE’S HOUSE, Emily and Rachel made their way upstairs and Veronica stayed in the kitchen with Mamm.

  “I better get baking again tomorrow. I’m surprised Susannah ordered six pies.” Veronica peered inside the pantry, searching for ingredients.

  “I’m froh for you.” Mamm walked up behind her. “I know you enjoy making the pies. And if Lindann’s cousin decides to take orders at her bakery—or even for the bakery—then you’ll be very busy.”

  “Ya, that’s true. I’ll be very busy.” So busy that I won’t have time to think about Seth.

  “Veronica,” Mamm said.

  She turned and found her mother watching her, her eyes showing concern. “You were awfully quiet at Irma Rose’s haus. Are you feeling okay?”

  Veronica leaned on the counter beside her. “I feel fine.” She paused. Should I tell Mamm the truth? Will she think I’m terrible?

  “You can talk to me,” Mamm said as if reading her thoughts. “I can tell something is bothering you. Sometimes it helps to say it aloud instead of letting the emotions build up inside.”

  “I had a difficult time seeing Irma Rose’s boppli.” Tears overtook Veronica’s eyes, and her voice was thin. “When I looked at her, all I could think about was Seth and the kinner we’ll never have.” Her voice broke on the last word, and she dissolved into sobs.

  “Oh, Veronica.” Mamm hugged her, and Veronica rested her cheek on her shoulder like a child. “I know it’s difficult, mei liewe. It’s okay to cry. Go ahead.”

  As her mother patted her back, Veronica rubbed her eyes and sniffed. “I have a difficult time seeing Rachel and David together, and I can’t help feeling jealous when she talks about their plans. I know it’s a sin to feel this way. I’ll never find anyone I’ll love as much as I loved Seth. I’m going to be alone while my sisters both are married and have kinner.”

  “That’s not true.” Mamm gently touched Veronica’s shoulder. “You will love again. You just need to give yourself time to heal. Right now you feel like you’ve lost everything, but you’ll find someone. Trust me.”

  Veronica shook her head as more tears threatened her eyes. “No, Seth was the love of my life. We fit so well together. He was everything to me, and now he’s gone.” Her bottom lip quivered.

  “Seth will always have a very special place in your heart, but you will love again. You deserve to have a family. You’ll meet someone special, get married, and have kinner, just like your schweschdere will.” She smiled. “Maybe you should go to a singles group, or you could go to youth group with your schweschdere. Just go out and meet people. You don’t have to date yet, but you do need to talk to young folks your age.”

  Veronica nodded, but she couldn’t imagine herself at a singles group or her sisters’ youth group. She only wanted to bake and avoid the pity and stares she would encounter at those gatherings. “I’m going to go to bed. I have a lot of baking to do tomorrow.”

  “Okay.” Mamm yawned. “I think I’m ready for bed too. I’ll see you in the morning.”

  As she climbed the stairs, Veronica thought about her mother’s words. Would she ever find a man who would love her as much as Seth had? Could she possibly love someone else? If I did find someone else, I would betray Seth’s precious memory. Right now I just need to make pies and try to forget my heartache.

  AT THE GROCERY STORE ON SATURDAY MORNING, JASON leaned on a cart as his mother consulted her shopping list, then examined a display of lettuce.

  “Jason?”

  He turned to see Mary and Leah approaching them.

  “Hi, Mary,” he said. “Leah. Wie geht’s?”

  “I didn’t expect to see you here,” Mary said with a wide smile that revealed her dimples.

  “Hi, Annie,” Leah said.

  “It’s nice to see you,” Mamm said. “I guess it’s everyone’s day to visit the grocery store.”

  “Ya,” Mary said. “I suppose so.”

  “Where’s Stephen?” Leah asked, resting a full shopping basket on her small hip.

  “He’s working on a project at home with Dat.” Feeling self-conscious about it in front of these young women, he had to explain why he wasn’t helping the two men. “Mamm asked me to take her shopping to help with the heavy lifting.”

  “Are you coming to the youth gathering tomorrow?” Mary sounded eager. “We can be on the same volleyball team.”

  “I thought you didn’t like to play,” Jason said.

  Mary shrugged. “I suppose I could give it a try.”

  “You don’t want her on your team if you want to win,” Leah teased. Mary blushed. “She’s better at cheerin
g from the sidelines than she is playing.”

  “Everyone deserves a chance, though, right?” Mamm asked. “Maybe you can teach her how to play, Jason.”

  “Sure.” Please don’t encourage them, Mamm! He had to get his mother out of there before she invited them over for supper.

  “That’s a deal then,” Mary said from under her lashes. “You can teach me how to play and then mei schweschder won’t say I’m not a helpful team member.”

  “I’ll do my best.” He turned to his mother. “Well, we’d better keep moving, Mamm.”

  Mamm gave him a confused expression. “Okay.” She smiled at the younger women. “It was nice seeing you. Tell your mamm hello for me.” She chose a leafy green lettuce and a romaine lettuce and dropped them into the basket as Jason said his good-byes to Mary and Leah.

  “Why were you in such a hurry?” Mamm asked when they were alone. “They’re nice maed.”

  “I told Dat I’d help him and Stephen with the fence when we got back. I want to get home before they finish.” He pushed the cart and she walked beside him, moving toward the dairy cases.

  “You weren’t in a hurry earlier.” Mamm gave him a sideways glance. “Mary likes you.”

  He fought the urge to roll his eyes. Is it that obvious?

  “Jason.” She stopped walking. “I’m glad to see you going to youth gatherings. It’s time you started dating again.”

  “Don’t get too excited.” He pressed his lips together. “Mary is only my freind. I really don’t know her that well. We spent some time talking the other night, but we don’t have much in common really.” And I don’t have any feelings for her.

  “That’s a gut start.” She patted his arm. “Your dat and I started out as freinden. You never know where that might lead.” She walked toward the milk case, and he pushed the cart behind her.

  “I know.” He sighed. He didn’t want to be pressured into dating anyone.

  “You should go tomorrow. I always loved playing volleyball. It’s a lot of fun.” She grinned at him. “It seems like Mary is eager for you to teach her how to play.”

  “Like I said, I’ll do my best—as a freind.” He leaned forward on the cart as his mother examined the milk expiration dates before making her choice. He had to think of an excuse to avoid tomorrow’s youth gathering. Someone else could teach Mary how to play volleyball. He didn’t want to give her the impression he was interested.