by Mari Carr
“I don’t know. I kind of like the black strapless number with the red lace.” They laughed together. “Obviously Riley doesn’t think much of the marriage institution.”
Teagan sighed. “She doesn’t think about much of anything that doesn’t include alcohol, loud music and late nights. I worry about her sometimes.”
Natalie recalled her first night in Baltimore and hitting the clubs with Riley. Though the woman clearly enjoyed a party, she didn’t ever get out of hand. Natalie suspected Aaron played a larger role in keeping Riley under control than anyone realized. “She’s okay. My sister used to love a good party too. Some people are just born to socialize.”
“Natalie, I’m just going to come out and say this. I admire you. If anything ever happened to one of my sisters, I don’t know what I’d do.”
“I wouldn’t suggest a mental breakdown,” Natalie said, her voice thick with the effort of making the jest.
“I’d fall apart and I would never be able to pull it back together. You did. You have.”
Natalie wondered if that was true. She’d lived behind a wall of pain and guilt for years, suppressing the memories because thinking about them shredded her insides like a thousand knives. She’d buried herself in work, pushed away every friend she’d ever known except Sky, maintained the estranged relationship with her parents because it was easier than facing them and never allowed herself to fall in love because she didn’t deserve happiness.
Didn’t deserve to have a full, wonderful life when her sister couldn’t have one too.
“You’d survive. You have Sky and your family. You’re stronger than you think, though I pray to God you never have that strength tested.”
“I hope so too. So I can tell Sky you’re okay?” Teagan asked.
“I’m fine. I’m going back home on Saturday and I’m forging on—same as always. When are you going back on the road?”
“I think I might hang out here another week or two. Sky has more commitments than me. My big rock star,” she said. Teagan’s eyes shone with the love she felt for Sky and Natalie was happy they’d found each other. Opposites though they were, they fit.
“You’d have been passing Sky on the fame train if you’d put your mind to pursing your music career seriously, rather than hiding out here for years.”
Teagan laughed. “You better not let Sky hear you say that. He’s never said anything, but I’ve seen his face when a reporter chases us down and then asks me all the questions.”
Natalie leaned forward, grinning widely. “That cocky sucker needed to be taken down a peg or two. You’re good for him. You make him better simply by being with him. You sort of bring out his good side and temper his rougher edges.”
“But his rough edges are still there,” Teagan interjected.
“Of course, they are,” Nat replied. “And thank God for that. That arrogance is a part of him. He wouldn’t be Sky without it.”
“No, he wouldn’t, and I wouldn’t love him if he weren’t one hundred percent himself—bullheaded, conceited, sarcastic.” They laughed at her words until Teagan added, “Considerate, romantic…what was your description for Ewan? Sexy as fuck?”
Silence descended again, Ewan’s name breaking the flow of the conversation and throwing Natalie back into her funk.
“How do you think Ewan would describe you?”
Natalie was taken aback by Teagan’s question. “That’s easy. Bitchy, opinionated, cynical.”
“Where did you go last night?”
“Out to dinner at a fancy restaurant, swanky hotel room. Must have set him back at least a week’s wages.”
“Sounds romantic. Sounds like something a man would do to impress a woman he cares about.” She grinned before adding, “Even if she does have a few rough edges.”
Natalie didn’t know how to respond. It was on the tip of her tongue to tell Teagan about the life lessons, but for some reason all of that seemed private, personal. Ewan had taken her out to teach her about romance, about letting go, letting herself have something she wanted without worrying about what it meant or why it mattered.
Last night the lesson had stuck, but this morning it had crumbled, shattered with the sunrise. It was that kiss as she woke up, the look in his eyes as he touched her face. He looked at her like she was beautiful, like she was special. One-night stands weren’t all that unusual. She preferred them to sticky, committed relationships. Problem was, it hadn’t felt like a one-night stand with Ewan. Not even close. And she desperately needed it to be a one-time thing. There was no way she could live with herself if she dragged Ewan down into the dark hole she called home. The more time she spent in his presence, the more she realized just how bad she would be for him.
Teagan had been silently watching her and she wondered what the other woman saw in her face.
“He’s really gotten to you,” Teagan said.
The self-protective shield flew up despite the fact she wanted to let Teagan in. She sucked at talking about emotions, so she fell back on what she knew—sarcasm. “He’s been trying to get into my pants for three years. Last night he pulled out all the stops, caught me in a weak moment. Think it must have been the wine. It won’t happen again.”
Teagan clearly heard the dismissal in her voice and she stood. “That’s a shame,” she said when she reached the door. “I think you and Ewan are a perfect match.”
Natalie watched her friend close the door behind her, that parting shot careening around in her head like a Ping-Pong ball. Perfect match? No, she wanted to yell out. There’s no match to be made here.
Damn Sky Mitchell and his stupid birthday wish. He was the one who’d planted all this fluffy falling-in-love crap in her mind.
Damn Yvonne for dying on her when she needed someone to talk to.
Damn Teagan for making her think Ewan could love her for who she was—warts and all.
And damn Ewan for…
She fell back against her pillow and closed her eyes. Dammit all.
* * * * *
Natalie entered the pub shortly after ten. Ewan had left her alone most of the day, aware that last night’s experience had thrown her for a loop. He’d hoped as the night passed they’d turned a corner in their budding relationship, but he could see now he’d hit the same brick wall again. Teagan had come down a few hours ago, said Natalie was confused. Then she’d actually warned him to tread lightly. Alluded to things in Natalie’s past that he didn’t know about and that he was inadvertently poking at some dark places by pursuing her. When Ewan pressed for more, Teagan told him it was Natalie’s story to tell and walked away.
“Hiya, stranger,” he said, walking over to greet her.
“Hey yourself.” Her voice was strong, typical Nat, and he hoped that meant she’d made her peace with last night. Sadly, that peace seemed to have taken them right back to square one.
“Glad you made it down. I was just about to come drag you out of that room. We’re running out of time on today’s lesson.”
Natalie put up her hand. “I don’t want to play that game anymore, Ewan. It was a cute way to pass the time, but I’ve only got a couple more days here and I really wanted to get some pictures of Teagan and the wedding preparations for the photo-biography. Time is money.”
“You agreed to a whole week. Seven lessons.”
“I know what I agreed to, but it’s a waste of time and now I’m bored with it. Move on, hotshot.”
He narrowed his eyes. Natalie was pushing the wrong buttons tonight. He’d played the affable friend for years, letting her drive their relationship at a comfortable pace. The fact she lived on the other side of the country had held him back for most of their acquaintance, merely because time and distance were not on their side. This week had proven to him he’d been wrong to lay low, avoiding the obvious.
He wanted Natalie Miller, and he’d move heaven and earth to get her back in his bed and keep her there. Fuck the rest of it. They’d cross those bridges once they got there. If they got there.
“Well, if it’s pictures you’re after, I guess you’ll want this back.” He drew her camera out of his back pocket. She reached for it, but he pulled it back at the last minute.
“Give it to me,” she demanded, holding out her hand.
He shook his head. “I’ll give it back to you at the end of the night. At the end of the lesson.”
“You have shitty hearing, Ewan. I told you—”
“I know what you told me but we’re not finished. Not by a long shot. Now be a good girl. All we’re going to do is sit at one of those tables over there. We’re going to have a drink, listen to some karaoke and talk. That’s it.”
She gave him an angry smile. “Well, you see, that’s the problem. I prefer the bad girl role, which means if you take this condescending attitude with me much longer, I’ll cut your nuts off and shove them down your throat. Now give me back my camera.”
Ewan laughed at her threat. God, she was a feisty thing when fired up. No doubt she’d intimidated men across the world with her fiery spirit. Pity of it was, it just drove his alpha male—the one he took care to hide—closer to the surface. “You’ve got the bad girl part all wrong. If you wanna be naughty, I’ll throw you over my shoulder, take you up to your room, tie you to the bed and torment you with orgasms until you agree to finish the game.”
“You know, that macho shit really doesn’t work on me.”
“Of course it does. Your nipples started poking through that shirt the second I said I was gonna tie you up. You into bondage, Nat? Because I’d love to handcuff you to a bed and—”
“You’re gonna have to try to find a way off Fantasy Island soon, hotshot.”
“What’s it going to be? Good girl or bad girl?”
He watched her studying his face, trying to decide if he was bluffing. His cock was starting to strain against his jeans and he was seriously hoping she’d decide to test him. He took a step closer, ready to claim his naughty girl, but the movement must have clued her in and she held her hands up in surrender.
“I’m staying for the karaoke. I mean, that’s why I came down here in the first place. Sean invited me.”
He let her have the win and ushered her to a table. “Cool. It’s the first night we’re trying this. I think it’s going to be a disaster but Sean swears it’ll bring more people to the pub midweek. I’m not looking forward to hearing some of the performances.”
“I personally can’t wait to laugh my ass off,” she replied, shuffling her chair slightly to face the stage. “Hate to admit it, but I’m a sucker for those American Idol auditions. Never miss them. The way some of those poor saps really think they can sing is too funny.” Her shoulders relaxed a bit and he was relieved to see she was loosening up again. He released a soft sigh. For now, he’d let her play the friend card.
“You heartless woman,” he said, chuckling. “I never miss them either. Offered to drive Teagan to New York to try out for one of the first seasons, but she just laughed at me.”
“I can see you and Teagan standing in line for days just so Simon could call her a hippie and tell her she needed to change her image.”
Ewan grinned widely. “You’re probably right. But I bet he would have sent her on to Hollywood.”
Nat agreed. “No question there. Oh my God, check out the guy in the purple cowboy shirt. Please tell me that’s not fringe on the front.”
Ewan looked toward the stage where she was pointing. “Oh yeah, definitely fringe. And snaps. Not a button on that beauty. Might have to ask him where he bought it.”
“Don’t you dare. Oh, and look. He’s going to be the first singer.” She gave Ewan a wicked grin. “This should be good.”
The cowboy wannabe took the stage, propping himself on a stool and holding the microphone like he’d been born to it.
Natalie giggled softly. “Bet he sings into a hairbrush every morning,” she whispered.
Ewan suspected she was right. The music began and the man started crooning an old Conway Twitty song that probably had the original singer spinning in his grave. Ewan looked over at Sean and raised his eyebrows as if to say, “I told you so.”
Sean threw back a “look around” gesture and Ewan had to acknowledge the place was slowly and steadily filling up. Not a bad crowd for a Wednesday, actually. He conceded the point to his brother with a nod and struggled to block out the horrible singing emanating from the speakers. “This is borderline painful.”
Natalie laughed. “I love it. Sean’s a genius.”
He looked at her, discovering she was sincere. “Never would have pegged you for a karaoke fan, Nat.”
“I think everyone would like to spend five minutes in the spotlight. I’ve been around Sky enough over the last decade or so to know the feeling must be a rush like no other. His face when he finishes a concert is as close to bliss as I’ve ever seen.”
Ewan wanted to say he’d seen that same look on her face last night when she came, but he kept the thought to himself. They’d forged an unsteady truce and he wasn’t going to rock the boat…yet. “I’m glad you feel that way—because that’s tonight’s challenge.”
“What?” she asked.
“I want you to get up on stage and sing.”
She laughed hysterically, clearly thinking his words a joke until he added, “I dare you to sing a song, Nat.”
She sobered up at the earnestness of his tone. “You can’t be serious.”
“I’m completely serious.”
She fell silent for a moment and then grinned as if she’d found the magic loophole. “I will if you will.”
“Fine,” he answered easily, provoking a frown to cross her face. “But you go first.”
She looked around and he sensed she was trying to find another way to escape the dare, so he threw more fuel on the fire. “Of course, if you’re too afraid to get up there, I could always—”
“Where’s the song list?” she asked, and he waved Sean over.
“What’s up, bro?” Sean asked.
“Natalie wants to sing. Do you have one of those lists with the music selection?”
Sean quickly brought over a notebook filled with song choices and handed it to Natalie. “All right!” he said enthusiastically. “Way to keep the ball rolling, Nat. We’re having a hard time getting folks to sign up. I owe you one.” His brother bent down and gave her a friendly kiss on the cheek, the sweet gesture making her blush.
She studied the list for so long, Ewan feared she’d back out. He was surprised when she pointed and said, “This one.”
He looked down and laughed. “Showing your age there, aren’t you?”
“Bite me, Ewan. Go put my number in. And while you’re at it, put yours in too. We had a deal. If I’m going to make an ass of myself, you’re going down right alongside me.”
He rose and turned in their two numbers. Sean grinned at his choice. “Duet?”
“Don’t tell Natalie. I don’t want her to have a chance to run.”
Sean slapped him on the shoulder. “She’s gonna kick your ass.”
“Yeah, well, she seems to be on the verge of that every waking minute. It’s sort of starting to lose its effect.”
Sean laughed. “You got it bad for Sky’s best friend.”
Ewan considered denying it, but there wouldn’t be any point. Of all his brothers, he was closest to Sean. Killian and Tris were twins and older, so that played a major role in the situation. Plus, Sean was just easy to be around.
“She’s got my heart in her teeth. It’s not a comfortable feeling.”
“I guess not, although I don’t see what the problem is. She’s got the hots for you too.”
Ewan considered that. “You think?”
“She hasn’t left your side all week, bud.”
“Yeah, well, that’s actually because I’ve been working with her on something.” Ewan wasn’t sure why he didn’t want to tell Sean about the life lessons, but something told him Nat wouldn’t want anyone to know about her depression.
Ewan grinned, but couldn’t resist taking a peek over his shoulder. Natalie’s gaze was definitely on his southerly regions until she spotted him looking at her, then she quickly turned her head.
“She leaves in two days,” he said, speaking the words that had been eating a hole in his gut all day. He was running out of time.
“So I guess you better kick it into high gear.”
Ewan looked at his brother, his words striking a chord. “Yeah, I guess I better. Make sure you cue up her solo song first.”
