When the Pain is Gone

by P. A. Glaspy

  She must have sensed him watching her because she looked up and gave him a small, sad smile. He smiled back and gave her a quick wave. Two people, from very different backgrounds, had found common ground in their grief. He walked over to listen in on the lesson. Though he tried not to distract the children, Moira saw him, waved, and yelled, “Hi Daddy!” She realized what she had done, disrupting the class, and slapped her hand over her mouth. The other kids giggled and snickered as she looked at Sara and sheepishly said, “Sorry, Miss Sara.”

  Sara attempted a stern school mistress expression, but quickly gave in to a giggle of her own. “That’s alright, Moira. I think it’s Daddy’s fault more than yours for interrupting us anyway.” She turned to Lee with a look of reproach.

  Lee looked down at the ground. “Sorry, Miss Sara.”

  With that, Sara, Marietta, and all the children broke out in fits of giggles. Sara sighed. “Well, I guess class will be done early today as I doubt I will ever get you all to concentrate now. Please go see if Miss Millie or one of the other moms needs any help. If not, you are free to play until supper.”

  A round of whoops and hollers ensued as they rushed to the back door to see if there were chores to do. Sara and Marietta gathered their meager school supplies. Lee moved in to help. “I really am sorry, Sara. I didn’t mean to disrupt your class. I just wondered what y’all were working on.”

  Still smiling, she replied, “No need to apologize, Lee. We were working on some math and spelling. I’m not sure how far we are going to be able to go academically without books or supplies like pencils, pens, paper, those sorts of things. We have some supplies, and they will probably last a few months, but once they’re gone …” She trailed off and didn’t finish the sentence.

  Lee nodded in understanding. “Yeah, Anne has said something about that, too. She made a great suggestion. If we could get our hands on some chalkboard paint, we could make slates out of wood. I can smooth out some fencing slats and cut them down to size. We’ll figure something out.”

  Sara looked thoughtful. “I wonder if there is a school close by. If there was, maybe we could venture out to it, see if there were schoolbooks, chalk, possibly that paint—I wonder if we could get that excursion approved.”

  “I doubt it, but there’s no harm in asking. Let’s go find Russ and Mike.”

  “Wonderful. Let me just help Marietta finish gathering the children’s things and I’ll be ready.”

  Marietta shook her head and waved them off. “Go ahead. I’ve got this. It won’t take a second to finish.”

  Sara laid a hand on Marietta’s arm. “Thank you, dear. Cross your fingers we get a yes.”

  Marietta held up both hands with her fingers crossed. “Times two!”

  Sara laughed and walked toward the house with Lee. As they went, Lee replied, “We better cross everything we’ve got to get a yes for this one.”

  ****

  “No. Absolutely not.” Russ had barely heard Sara’s proposal before he shot them down.

  Lee said in a frustrated tone, “Now wait a minute, Russ. At least hear her out.”

  Russ was shaking his head. “That is not a critical list of items needed for our survival.”

  Sara put her hands on her hips. “It may not be necessary for our survival now, but do we never look past that? There has to be more to this new life than just surviving, Russ. Even the pioneers had books and slates to teach their children how to read, write, do arithmetic. Surely that need has not disappeared with the lights. They still need to learn these things. Moira is six now. If this lasts for ten years, would you want her to be sixteen with a first-grade education, facing whatever our lives have become by then? How would she survive in that world? I beg you to reconsider.”

  Lee looked at her with a modicum of pride, Russ with surprise etched on his face. He pondered for a moment, then said, “Wow, Sara, I don’t guess I had thought about it that way before now. Of course, I don’t want Moira, or any of our children for that matter, to be any less capable of dealing with the future we have waiting. I’m just not sure what it will take to make this happen.” He looked to Monroe. “Monroe, is there a school close by? Maybe more than one?”

  “Not so close you could walk to it,” Monroe said. “You’ll have to take a truck or something. All three schools are close to town, about six or seven miles away, and they’re all right next to each other. Maybe we could talk to Gary the next time he’s out to Jim’s place. He should be back today or tomorrow for sure. Tell him what we need, see if he’ll at least check to see if the stuff is there before you make the trip.”

  Mike replied, “That would be my choice for how to proceed. But, what about this chalkboard paint? I’ve never even heard of it before. Where would we get that?”

  Russ answered him. “Chalkboard paint is kind of a new thing. Turns pretty much any surface into a chalkboard. You could get it from craft stores. The sheriff might know where we could find that, too. There’s no telling what’s left in town now, but it doesn’t cost anything to ask.” He turned back to Sara. “I’m sorry I was so quick to say no, Sara. It’s easy to forget that, even during the apocalypse, there’s more to life than food, water, shelter, and clothes. We’ll do what we can to fulfill your request. If you could put together a list of everything—”

  “I just happen to have one right here,” she said, as she pulled a piece of paper out of her back pocket and held it out to him. Lee turned to hide a smirk, while Russ laughed and took the proffered piece of paper.

  “Okay, we’ll talk to Sheriff Burns as soon as we can. Consider your request a go, unless we say otherwise after we see him.”

  She turned to Lee with a huge grin and held her hand up to him. He gave it a slap and her a laugh. “Way to plead your case. Good job, Miss Sara.”

  She blushed. “Thank you, Mr. Lee.” She inclined her head toward the back door. He gave a short nod and headed that way with her.

  After they had left the house, Mike spoke quietly to Russ. “Is there something … I mean, are they …”

  Russ watched them go out, then turned to Mike and shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know, buddy. A bit soon for her, I’d say, but they do have common ground. It wouldn’t surprise me if they go down that path. If there’s anybody here who knows what she’s going through, it’s Lee. Frankly, I think it’d be good for both of them.”

  Monroe snorted and pushed his way between them. “Y’all gossipin’ like a couple of ole biddies. C’mon, let’s go see if Gary is at Jim’s.”

  Russ rolled his eyes while Mike hid a laugh behind a cough. He grabbed his rifle and headed for the screen door. “Sure thing, Monroe. Lead the way.”

  ****

  “How are you doing, Sara? How’s Tony doing?” Lee glanced at her as he asked, then looked back in the direction they were walking, though they hadn’t discussed a destination or plan of action. The afternoon was warm but, beneath the boughs of the huge trees in the yard, the breeze made it a bit more comfortable.

  She sighed softly. “I guess as well as one could expect in this situation. I miss him terribly. I cry myself to sleep at night. Kate gave me something called valerian root to help me sleep. It’s supposed to have a calming effect. It smells like feet and tastes like it smells.” She paused as Lee snorted a laugh. “I’m not kidding. It tastes awful. However, it does seem to help. At least I can sleep a few hours a night— after the gag reflex has calmed down.” They continued their stroll through the yard, each in their own thoughts, at least for a moment. “Do you still mourn for Jackie, Lee? I’m sorry—that’s a stupid question. Of course you do—I know you do. I see it in your eyes. A sadness that your smile never quite gets past.”

  He stopped and turned to her. “Damn, I thought I was doing a better job of hiding it than that, for my kids’ sake at least. And yes, I still hurt. The ache has dulled somewhat but it’s always there, just under the surface. I still wonder what happened to her, still have nightmares thinking about the horrors she might have faced
… probably faced. After what happened here … oh shit, sorry. And sorry for my potty mouth …” Lee was blushing with embarrassment.

  Sara giggled. “I was married to a trucker, Lee. I’ve heard worse.”

  Lee grinned at her. “Yeah, I bet you have. So, how did you two meet?”

  They spent the next hour or so wandering the yard, finding out more about each other, though it seemed like only minutes to them. When Janet leaned out the door to announce that supper was ready, Sara jumped with a start. “My goodness, I had no idea it was this late. Where has the time gone?”

  Lee looked at the house then back to Sara. “Thank you for a wonderful afternoon, Sara. I feel like you and I are a couple of lost souls walking the same path. I hope we can talk more another time. It felt kind of therapeutic, you know?”

  She smiled and replied, “Yes! That’s exactly how I felt. Like you are one of the few people here who can understand what I’m feeling, what I’m going through. Yes, we’ll definitely talk again, soon. I have to run. I hope the ladies don’t think I was trying to get out of food prep duty, although most of them are much better cooks than I am. I’m learning a lot from them.”

  “I’m sure they handled it fine. You know what they say about too many cooks in the kitchen.”

  “You’re so right, and if they put me in charge, I would definitely spoil the soup.”

  They both laughed as they headed toward the house, Lee calling for his children to join them. They all walked in the front door together, looking very much like a family.

  ****

  Russ, Mike, and Monroe caught up with Gary at the Dotson farm. There was a lot of activity. Matt Thompson was running the tractor, discing up nice, neat rows for planting. Ryan was on guard duty, at his request, and was watching in all directions with binoculars from the roof of a truck that had been used to bring the townspeople out to plant the fields. The owner, Silas Jones, stood beside it glaring up at Ryan. Finally, in an exasperated sounding tone, he barked out, “Hey fella! This truck is an antique and in mint condition! I spent a lot of money getting it restored, and now it’s worth even more than it was before, since it’s one of the few running vehicles in town. Do ya mind getting off the roof before you scratch the paint up there?”

  Ryan looked down at the man. “Yeah, I do mind. I’m only up here watching for the kind of people who would love nothing more than to take this antique, mint condition truck from you. I don’t see a gun on you. Do you have one?”

  “No, I don’t. Why would I? I’ve never needed one, and never wanted one. So what? What does that have to do with your stomping around on the roof of my truck?”

  Ryan jumped down into the bed, then out to the ground next to Silas. Mike and Russ had been watching the interaction, along with Gary, who started over toward the men. Mike held his arm in front of the sheriff. “Hang on. Let’s see what happens. I don’t think Ryan will do anything rash.”

  Gary stopped, but continued to pay close attention to the two men. “I hope not. We don’t want any trouble. We’ve had enough of that.”

  Ryan looked Silas in the eye. “Uh, what’s your name?”

  “Silas Jones. I own—”

  “Yeah, I don’t care. Look, Silas, in case you haven’t figured it out yet, pretty things are no longer important. Surviving is. This truck is now a survival tool. It serves whatever purpose needed to help you survive. Being pretty is not necessary. Now, if it’s okay with you, I’m going to get back up there and make sure no assholes get the drop on us and try to take your pretty truck. Does that work for you?”

  Silas stood there looking dumbfounded. When he didn’t respond, Ryan jumped back into the bed of the pickup, then climbed back on the roof.

  Russ and Mike looked at each and laughed. “I think I just saw a bit of the old Ryan, Mike. What do you think?”

  Mike replied, “I think you’re right, Russ. I missed that little smart ass.”

  Russ turned from Mike back to where Ryan diligently stood his watch and said with a smile, “Me too, buddy. Me too.”

  ****

  Armed with Sara’s list, Gary and Tim went to the schools. The windows in the doors had been broken in and the doors were left standing open. Gary shook his head. “There are some folks in this town who really need …”

  Tim finished his sentence. “A good ass whuppin’. Yeah, Doug comes to mind. Asshole. Guarantee him and his buddies did this, looking for food.”

  Gary stepped through the broken glass into the darkened interior of the elementary school and turned his flashlight on. “Yes, and I’m sure they took all they could find. There would have been bulk cans of food in the storerooms. Let’s go check.”

  They made their way to the cafeteria. As they got close, they heard a scuffling sound coming from the kitchen. Both men stopped to listen, then drew their pistols. Walking slowly, they advanced toward the noise. Gary rounded the corner of the storeroom. His flashlight pierced the darkness and lit up two sets of eyes. The raccoons squawked at them and scurried out the other door. Gary chuckled nervously. “Too bad we didn’t have a shotgun with us. I hear they’re decent eating.”

  As they walked into the storage room, they could see that it had been ransacked, and not by the four-legged critters. The raccoons had been eating cracker crumbs from the floor, which was pretty much all that was left. Every shelf was bare. Gary fumed.

  “Those selfish pigs! You know they didn’t share one bit of what they took from here with anyone! If they took everything from all three schools, there’s no way they’ve eaten all that. I want to find their stash, Tim. Fast. It could help the folks in town now. First, we check for the school supplies since we’re here.”

  They entered the first classroom they came to. It looked to be about third grade level from the posters on the walls. Multiplication tables, cursive writing, and a map of the world were prominent.

  “Well, I figure we should start here, since these kids would be learning the basics, and should have been using basic supplies. We can’t take everything, but let’s get some samples to take back. If Russ and his people want to come get more, they can. Lord knows other people have helped themselves to supplies here. At least these folks are trying to do something good with them.”

  They gathered pens and pencils, writing tablets and paper, some schoolbooks, and chalk and erasers from the chalkboard rail. Looking in the teacher’s locker, Gary pulled out a can of paint. Chalkboard paint. “Well, I’ll be damned. Look what I found! That paint they were talking about that turns anything into a chalkboard. Wonder what the teacher used it for?”

  “I’d say these.” Tim pointed to the cubbies the children used for backpacks, lunchboxes, winter wear, or any other personal items. Each one had a small piece of wood attached to it that had been covered with the paint. The child’s name was written on the surface. Plastic wrap was laid over it and secured with tape to keep the name from coming off. “Pretty smart. Each year, they just take off the plastic, put the new kid’s name on and wrap it back up. Recycling at its best.”

  Gary added the paint to his own backpack. “Man, that teacher out there is gonna be tickled to get this. Let’s check the other two schools. Textbooks shouldn’t be a problem for the kids. Maybe we should find out how many teachers we have that are still around. Once the crops are done, we need to keep the kids occupied so they don’t get into trouble. Idle hands and all that.”

  Tim nodded. “Agreed. I think we’ll have plenty enough to keep us busy without a bunch of kids getting into or causing trouble. I’ll see what I can find out in the next couple of days.”

  Gary patted Tim on the shoulder. “Thank you, Tim. I really appreciate how you’ve stepped up in this crisis. Now, let’s go check out the other two schools.”

  ****

  Sara was ecstatic over the supplies Gary brought them. “Oh, Sheriff, this is amazing! And you say there’s more?”

  Gary smiled and nodded. “Yes, ma’am, quite a bit more. I’d ask that you take only what you absolutely nee
d for the kids here though. We’re going to find other teachers in town, see about getting a similar setup there this fall after the crops are in. Probably in the library, so we can have them all together in one spot in the center of town. Like the old one-room school houses, all grades, all together. Should be interesting.”

  Sara laughed. “Yes, it should. Children today are not as, shall we say, well mannered, as children back then were. Perhaps good behavior will make a comeback since there aren’t as many distractions for them.”

  “Let’s hope. I need to get over to the farm and pick up a load of folks to take back to town. Y’all have a good evening.” Gary got in his truck and drove off.

  Lee took the can of paint and looked it over. “Guess I’ve got some work to do. How many slates do you need?”

  Sara considered his question. “Can we make a dozen? And if there’s any left after that, I’d love to have a large chalkboard to use.”

  Lee replied, “Hmm. I don’t think there’s that much in here, but maybe we can get one from one of the schools when we go for more supplies. They usually have some on rollers to use in the auditorium. That would probably be better.”

  “Oh yes! That would be perfect! I’m so excited—it’s like Christmas in June! Wait, is it still June?”

  Lee looked to be working out the date in his head. When he did, he had a shocked expression on his face. “Holy shit! It’s Independence Day!”

  ****

  We were all blown away when we found out what the date was. How could we have let that sneak up on us? But, when you didn’t have a “job” to go to, the days kind of ran together. The chores were the same every day. Life was pretty much the same day in and day out. This Fourth of July would not be celebrated as it had in the past, though. No burgers and dogs on the grill; we didn’t have the meat or the buns. No potato salad or pasta salad; we didn’t have mayo for the dressing. I never figured out a way to keep it long term, and it doesn’t last outside of the fridge. We had already planned chicken and rice for dinner that night which was pretty much done, so to celebrate Millie baked a batch of cupcakes. She even tinted the frosting with strips of red, white, and blue. Even though it was steamy, the guys built a bonfire. We sat back away from it because it was July after all, but it was pretty. Sean brought out a fresh batch of moonshine and poured drinks for the grown-ups. The kids got apple juice in a plastic highball glass. Russ stood and raised his glass.