Hate to Love You

by Jennifer Sucevic

  “Get a condom,” I groan. “I need to be inside you.” Watching her writhe under my touch has my cock rock-hard.

  She glances at the clock on the nightstand. “We don’t have time. You need to leave for practice in five minutes.”

  I shake my head, making a split decision. “I’m skipping it this morning.” I’m going to spend the next couple of hours making love to her.

  Her brows slide together. “Brody, I don’t want you getting into any more trouble with your coach.”

  I kiss one corner of her mouth and then the other. “Don’t worry about it. I won’t get in trouble.” All right, so maybe Coach will be pissed, but I don’t give a shit right now. I’ve got more pressing matters to contend with.

  Her hand comes up to stroke the side of my cheek. “I’m not going anywhere. Go to practice. I’ll be here waiting when you return.”

  I groan.

  Goddamn it. I don’t want to leave her, but she’s probably right. I should get my ass to the rink. “Promise you won’t move?”

  A sleepy smile curves her lips. “I promise. I’m all yours. Now, go.” She makes a shooing gesture with her hand as she cuddles into the covers. She looks so sexy all tousled and warm. “Get. I don’t want you to be late.” The smile turns seductive. “And when you get back, I’ll make it worth your while.”

  My brows rise at the enticement, and I throw the comforter back, high-tailing it from bed.

  Natalie chuckles.

  I point at her and narrow my eyes. “You move from there, and you’ll be in big trouble.”

  “I won’t move a muscle,” she says.

  I lean over and press my lips against hers. She twines her arms around my neck and opens her mouth when I lick at the seam. Our tongues tangle for a moment before I reluctantly pull away.

  “Just remember,” I murmur. “You’ve made promises, and I’m going to hold you to them.” With that, I smack another kiss against her lips and throw my clothes on with record speed.

  Just as I’m heading out the door, she says, “Brody…”

  I glance over my shoulder, and Natalie tosses the covers back, revealing her naked body. Her legs fall open so that she’s spread wide. She trails her hand from her ribcage, moving down her belly until she reaches her pubic bone, where her fingers linger.

  And just like that, I’m at full wood.

  I gulp. My gaze is fastened to her gorgeous pussy, so soft and velvety smooth.

  Her fingers descend, gently tracing her parted lips before stroking over her clit in lazy circles. She arches her back and closes her eyes.

  I groan, “You’re killing me, Davies.” I can’t take my eyes off her because she’s so beautiful.

  “That’s a little preview of what you’ll find waiting for you upon arrival.” A small smile curves her lips. “We’ll just call it motivation.”

  “The only thing you’ve done,” I growl, “is give me a raging hard-on.”

  She giggles. “Well, no one will mess with you when they see that thing.”

  I narrow my eyes. “You’re a little demon, you know that?”

  “See you in two hours, sugar-booger,” she singsongs gleefully. With that, she flicks the covers back over her body and burrows into them.

  Goddamn, but I lov—

  Shocked, I catch the words right before they explode in my head.

  But you know what?

  I think I do.

  Chapter Thirty-Five

  Natalie

  I’m supposed to meet Brody at the library in twenty minutes, and I’m running late. I grab my bag from the table and am flying out the door of my apartment when I smack into a hard body. I bounce back a step as large hands reach out and grab my arms, steadying me before I can tumble backward.

  My eyes land on the man holding me and widen. John McKinnon is the last person I expected to find on my doorstep. Once I have my balance, I quickly step away from him.

  He inclines his dark head. “Hello, Natalie.”

  “Hi, Mr. McKinnon.” I gulp down the rising nerves. “Are you looking for Brody?” I ask, hoping that’s all his presence signifies.

  I’m about to tell him that he’s not here, when John says, “No, actually I came to speak with you. Do you have a few minutes for us to talk?”

  I shift from one foot to another, intimidated by him. “I was just on my way to meet someone,” I say evasively. The last thing I want is to have a conversation alone with him. Already I know that whatever he wants to discuss won’t be good.

  Even though he smiles, the expression doesn’t reach his eyes. “I’m sure my son will understand if you’re a few minutes late.”

  When I don’t move from the door, he quirks a brow as if amused by my behavior. “May I come in?”

  I glance behind me and gnaw my lower lip. Zara is at class, and I’m here by myself.

  “Natalie,” he says impatiently. “It’s important that I speak with you about Brody. Give me ten minutes of your time, and then I’ll be on my way.”

  I jerk my head into a nod and step aside, allowing him to pass. He walks in and settles himself on the couch. I trail stiffly behind him into the living room and remain standing. I keep about ten feet of distance between us. If I need to dart to the door, I think I can make it.

  Which is ridiculous. This is Brody’s father we’re talking about. Not some thug in a dark alleyway. And yet…I feel just as vulnerable and ill-at-ease.

  He points to the chair situated across from the couch. “Wouldn’t you be more comfortable if you sat down?”

  I shake my head. There’s nothing that will make this impromptu visit comfortable. “If you don’t mind, I’d prefer if you just tell me why you’re here.”

  He nods his head, a touch of respect entering his eyes. “I can appreciate that.” He leans forward until his elbows rest on his knees. He holds my gaze with a penetrating stare just long enough to make me squirm. “I think you and I have the same goal in mind.”

  “What would that be?” His odd words have my brows pulling together.

  His gaze is relentless. “To see Brody reach his full potential.”

  Feeling confused, I say, “Of course, that’s what I want. Brody is a talented hockey player.” I may not know much about the sport, but I know he’s ranked one of the best college players in the country. He’s poured his whole life into making it to the NHL. “He’s going to go far,” I say with conviction.

  John’s eyes soften. “Yes, he will. But he needs to stay focused. This is his last college season before making the jump to the NHL. Do you have any idea the strength and conditioning it takes to compete at a professional level? It’s brutal. And it’s just as much a mental game as it is a physical one.”

  I shake my head. “Mr. McKinnon, I don’t understand why you’re telling me this.”

  He sighs and folds his hands in front of him. He stares at them for a moment before meeting my eyes again. “Natalie, you seem like a smart young woman. It’s easy to understand what my son sees in you. But—”

  The reason he’s turned up unannounced at my apartment dawns on me before he has a chance to finish the sentence.

  “—I’m a distraction,” I whisper, my heart pounding harshly under my breast.

  “I’m sorry to state it so baldly, but yes, you are.” He pauses for a beat. “Am I correct in assuming that you and Brody have grown close?”

  “Yes,” I admit miserably. In a little more than a month, Brody has come to mean so much to me. More than I could have imagined.

  “And he’s been candid with you about his struggles.”

  “If you’re talking about the dyslexia,” I say, “then yes, he told me about it.”

  “I’ve watched my son struggle his entire life. I hired all the best tutors, and it didn’t make a damn bit of difference. There were no magic bullets that eased the pain. Do you have any idea what it’s like as a parent to watch your child struggle just to get C’s and B’s?”

  “No,” I say softly. “I don’t.”


  His lips twist bitterly as he rasps, “Hopefully, you never will. There’s nothing more painful than sitting helplessly by as your child struggles to achieve something others can do without any effort at all.”

  A thick lump rises in my throat because I can’t imagine what it was like, not only for Brody, but his father as well. Needing to sit down, I fall onto the chair.

  “Brody needs to get through this season and continue to elevate his game. Next year, no matter how good he is, will be a transition. He needs to stay mentally committed to that.”

  “He is committed,” I murmur.

  John sits back and arches his brow. “Is he?”

  “Of course.”

  “And yet, he’s gotten into two fights since you’ve come into the picture. One of them was at practice, where he was kicked off the ice.”

  Folding in on myself, I wrap my arms around my waist. Every word he hurtles feels like a poisonous dart. I’m not sure what to say because the same guilt gnaws at me now as when Brody first told me about the fight with Reed. I’m to blame for it.

  “My concern is that Milwaukee will get it in their heads that Brody isn’t a team player. Even though he has a contract, they can always release him if they feel he isn’t a good fit for their organization. Or sit him for the season and then he’d only see a minute or two of ice time each game, if that.”

  My belly spasms at the possibility. Brody loves hockey so much that not playing would kill him.

  “You seem to have his best interests at heart,” John says. “I can’t imagine you’d want to see that happen.”

  “Of course not. I would never do anything to hurt Brody.”

  “I can see that, Natalie.” He leans forward. “I’m not saying any of this is your fault. Brody is the one who made the decision to get into a fight with Reed Collins. But that’s the problem—he’s not making good decisions with his future in mind.”

  When I say nothing, he continues. “I think we both know what needs to be done, don’t we?”

  I bury my head in my hands. “I…I’m not sure,” I say unhappily. I care about Brody so much. How can I just let him go?

  When John stands, I hope he’ll quietly let himself out of the apartment. Tears burn the backs of my eyes. Instead of leaving, he closes the distance between us. When I don’t look up, he lays a hand on my shoulder. “If you truly care about my son, you’ll do what’s best for him.” He squeezes my shoulder until I meet his gaze. “I trust this conversation will stay between the two of us.”

  Sick to my stomach, I nod.

  The hand gripping my shoulder disappears, and then he’s gone. The door closes softly behind him.

  I don’t know how long I sit on the chair, everything Mr. McKinnon said swirling through my brain. It’s only when a text from Brody flashes across the screen of my phone do I remember that I was supposed to meet him at the library.

  Chapter Thirty-Six

  Natalie

  I find Brody on the third floor, tucked into the corner that has become our spot. His books are spread out, and he’s looking over another set of flash cards I made for him. Each chapter is color-coded and I made sure to use big, block writing so he’s easily able to decode the words.

  All I’m trying to do is help.

  And yet, according to Brody’s dad, I’m a liability. I still feel shaken from the conversation. Dropping onto the seat across from him, I avert my eyes and lay my bag on the table.

  “I thought we were meeting at four?” Brody asks with a slight frown.

  “I’m sorry. Something came up,” I say evasively.

  Even though I’m focused on pulling out my books and computer, I feel his eyes on me as if he’s waiting for an explanation. But I can’t give him a truthful one. I can’t tell him that his dad just paid me a visit. That he wants me to end things between us.

  It’s all I could think about on the way over. If I tell Brody about his father stopping by for a private conversation, it’ll just cause problems between them. How can I do that? Brody doesn’t have any other family. It’s always been him and his dad. I can’t, in good conscience, do anything to jeopardize that relationship. No matter how much I care about him.

  Mr. McKinnon wants the best for his son. I want that as well. The difference is that he doesn’t see me as the best thing for Brody.

  And that hurts.

  The last thing I want is to hold Brody back.

  “Nat?” Brody asks, jolting me out of my thoughts.

  He must sense something is off with me, because he didn’t refer to me as Davies like he usually does. It’s enough to make the backs of my eyes burn. When I have my emotions firmly under control, I glance up. Concern darkens his golden-colored eyes.

  I lift the corners of my lips into a thin smile, one that will hopefully reassure him. “Um, Stacy, my boss from the internship last summer, called, and wanted to know what my plans are after graduation.”

  “Oh?” Looking interested, he perks up.

  I nod. “We ended up talking for about fifteen minutes. Sorry.”

  He reaches out and snags my fingers. I stare at our clasped hands, realizing just how affectionate he is. We hold hands at every opportunity. Brody often slings an arm around my shoulder when we’re walking around campus and holds me in his arms when we’re standing in line.

  “That’s great. What did you tell her?” He sounds genuinely happy for me.

  “I told her that I was interested.” I clear my throat and force out the rest of the lie. “And that I’d like to meet with her to speak at greater length about the opportunity.”

  His gaze sharpens. “You mentioned they have offices all over the country, right?”

  I glance away. “Yeah, I think they have offices in every major city.” I have spoken with Stacy, but I’m nowhere near making a decision. It was the first excuse that came to mind.

  “Good to know.” He gives me a little wink. “That could come in handy down the road.”

  The implication of his words brings a lump to my throat. I need to change the subject before this conversation goes any further. Until I figure out what I’m going to do, I’m not going to mention his dad’s visit. “You’ve been going over the cards I gave you?”

  “Every chance I get, I pull them out,” he tells me.

  “How about I quiz you?”

  “Sure.”

  We spend the next hour going over the cards. The upcoming test covers a lot of ground and some of the concepts are tricky. I gave him the materials more than a week ago so he would have enough time to study instead of trying to cram it in at the last moment.

  Leaning back on his chair, Brody lifts his arms over his head and stretches his body. The graphic tee he’s wearing rides up his belly, showing a tantalizing strip of tight abs. My eyes arrow to the sun-kissed flesh.

  “I think we could both use a study break right about now,” he says, closing his textbook.

  My eyes snap to his. A sexy smirk curves his lips upward. He obviously caught me staring at his perfectly chiseled body. Before I can respond, he grabs my fingers and pulls me up and around the table until I tumble onto his lap. Brody wraps his arms around me and slants his mouth over mine.

  Unable to resist, especially after the brutal conversation with his dad, I open immediately, and his tongue slips inside my mouth before stroking against mine. His hands go to the sides of my face, holding me in place.

  After a few breathless minutes, I break away.

  Even though I could spend the rest of the night kissing Brody, I don’t want to get off task. It’s important that he does well on this test. So much is riding on it. If he bombs it or even gets a D, that will pull his grade down even further, and then he’ll end up benched. “We should probably get back to studying,” I remind him.

  “Not yet,” he grumbles. “I haven’t seen you all day. I’ve missed you.”

  His words make my heart ache. “Okay,” I give in. “But only a few more minutes. We have to make sure you ace this exam.” />
  He huffs out a breath. “That’s not going to happen. I’ll be ecstatic if I pull off a B.”

  “If we study a little bit harder, you can do it. I know you can.”

  “I’d rather study you,” he murmurs right before his lips coast over the column of my neck. As soon as his mouth makes contact, my eyelids feather closed. He nips at my throat before his tongue darts out to sooth the area.

  “God, but I just want to get you alone,” he growls as his hands delve under my shirt, zeroing in on my breasts.

  I groan as he palms the soft flesh and teases my nipples.

  “Brody, you need to focus.” I’m barely able to get the words out.

  “Trust me, sweetheart, I’m focused.”

  His father’s words ring unwantedly in my head, leaving me cold. This is exactly what John was talking about. Instead of studying for an important exam, Brody would rather be making out with me.

  Even though I would never do anything to intentionally hurt him, I can’t help but wonder if that’s what is going on. Am I nothing more than a distraction that pulls his focus from what’s truly important? Am I jeopardizing his future?

  I tug his hands from under my shirt and jump off his lap. My body trembles as I slump on the chair across from him. “You have to study,” I repeat. “You need to do well on this exam. It’s important.”

  Annoyance flashes across his face. “Chill out, Davies. You don’t need to remind me that it’s important. I know it is.” He adds, “My dad rides me enough. I don’t need to hear it from you, too.”

  I wince. His words feel like a slap in the face.

  Unable to meet his eyes, I stare sightlessly at the book splayed open in front of me. “I’m sorry,” I whisper. “I just want you to do well. That’s all.”

  He sighs. His fingers slide across the table until they’re able to tangle with mine. He brings them to his lips and gently presses a kiss against my knuckles. “No, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to snap at you. I know you’re just trying to help, and I appreciate it. I’m under a lot of pressure right now.”