Hate to Love You

by Jennifer Sucevic

  The exception to that, of course, would be JT.

  Apparently, he didn’t get that memo.

  Or he just doesn’t care.

  The first time he came on to me, we were at some season opener party. He was actually there with a date. A tall, stunning model. But still… I could feel his eyes lingering on me as I floated around the room. Numerous times throughout the evening, he joined the same group of people I was talking to. As the event wore on, I noticed him becoming progressively drunker until he finally approached me, asking if I was interested in leaving with him.

  And his date.

  Ummm… no thanks.

  And just like that, JT Higgins didn’t seem quite so great anymore. I have zero interest getting involved with, or even befriending, a guy like him.

  The second time it happened was at a wedding. Since it had been about six months since I’d seen him last, I let the entire incident go. Chalked it up to him being young and new to the team.

  But just like before, I could feel his eyes on me. As unaffected as I wanted to be, I wasn’t. His gaze felt like a physical caress. Gooseflesh continued to break out across my skin. When he finally approached, it was to offer me a drink and an elevator ride up to his room for the night. That’s when I knew my initial impression of JT Higgins was spot-on. The guy was a major player. Not to mention a jerk. And I wasn’t interested. No matter how spectacular looking he was.

  You’d think at some point he would get it through his thick skull that it wasn’t going to happen between us, but no. The last three years have played out much the same. He has constantly hit on me, and I have continually shot down his offers.

  Because I’m a big girl, and I can handle some guy who is nothing more than an irritant, I’ve never said one word to Liam or Gia about JT’s persistent pursuit of me. It’s more irksome than anything else. It’s not like JT has ever touched me or gotten handsy. I’d deck him if he did.

  If Liam ever found out that JT was trying to hustle me into bed, he’d have a freaking cow. And I don’t want or need that. I’m trying to get the guy to loosen up where I’m concerned. He takes overprotective big brother to a whole new level. Plus, I really don’t want to be the cause of any problems between him and a teammate.

  So I just let it go.

  And steer clear when we’re thrown together.

  Even though JT has apparently cleaned up his act, I secretly think it’s all a PR sham so that the organization doesn’t trade him at the end of this season. Although, I will say that ever since he stopped drinking, he’s also stopped hitting on me.

  I’m so lost in thought that I don’t realize I’m still staring until clear green eyes collide with mine. A jolt of electricity spears through my entire body as my breath instantly becomes lodged at the back of my throat before I have the good sense to rip my gaze away.

  Gia points towards a group of football players. “Looks like Ryan is here.”

  Careful to avoid those unique green eyes, I cautiously glance back out the window only to find my boyfriend standing in the midst of all that testosterone.

  He looks… completely awed by the company he’s keeping.

  I’m not sure if I should be miffed or not that he didn’t bother finding me first to say hello.

  I met Ryan freshman year. His dorm was situated next to mine, so I would see him frequently in the cafeteria or walking to and from class. He introduced himself after the first few weeks of school and occasionally we’d get together to study. Sometimes he would invite me to parties, but I always declined.

  Ever since I could remember, school has always been a challenge for me. I’m not one of those people who can cram for a few hours and sail through a test with an A. In fact, that’s a surefire way for me to flunk an exam. I’ve always had to work harder and longer than any of my friends. And I knew college was going to be even more rigorous than high school. So instead of getting caught up in all the social stuff, I concentrated on my studies.

  I’ve wanted to be an elementary school teacher since I was twelve years old. I’ve never even considered another career path. I also knew that getting into the program would be challenging. So I kept myself focused and sophomore year, I applied to the elementary education program and was accepted.

  This year I’ll actually be student teaching. I’m excited to finally get into the classroom. Now that I’m in the program and have the first three years of college under my belt, I feel like I can finally loosen up on the reins just a smidge. Maybe even have a little more of a social life than I’ve allowed myself up until now. I have no plans to lose my head and go crazy, but maybe I can ease up just a bit and enjoying myself.

  Which is precisely why I finally caved after three years of having Ryan hound me to go out with him. We’ve been seeing each other for about two months now. Although we are definitely not the kind of couple who has to spend every single waking moment together. Because we’re both busy, we usually see each other a few times a week. We go out to dinner, grab coffee, see a movie, or hit a few parties.

  That kind of thing.

  I’ve yet to invite him to stay over at my place now that I finally have an apartment off campus, even though he keeps hinting around at it.

  I almost snort.

  Alright, he does way more than hint around.

  Up until this point, I just haven’t been ready to take our relationship that far. I don’t know what’s been holding me back, but something is. Maybe it’s just first time jitters.

  I hate to admit that I’m a twenty-one-year-old virgin, but…

  Yeah, I’m a twenty-one-year-old virgin.

  It’s not like I planned for this to happen. I didn’t set out to save myself for someone special. I guess I’ve just been so focused on school and spending time with my brother and his family, that it hasn’t been a priority for me.

  But now, suddenly, I’m a senior in college. And I’m still a virgin. It’s like I blinked and realized that I’ll be graduating this spring. When I confided in Holly, my roommate, she just about died before telling me that kids graduating from high school aren’t even virgins anymore. She claims I would be hard-pressed to find a junior or senior in high school who was still a virgin.

  I think she might just be right about that.

  So, yeah, I guess what I’m trying to say here is that I’m finally ready to be de-virginized.

  Is that even a word?

  Anyway, with the way things are going, I’m pretty sure Ryan and I are headed in that direction.

  Just as I’m about to answer Gia, my eyes once again become ensnared by green ones. Another shiver slowly slinks its way down my spine as I yank my gaze away yet again.

  I really wish he would stop watching me.

  Forcing a bright smile, I say, “I’m going to head out and say hello to Ryan.” I tickle the baby still being held within Gia’s arms. At this point, Max’s eyes look to be a gorgeous deep gray. Even though they could still change at this point, I don’t think they will. Both Liam and I have the exact same shade of eye color.

  “Want me to take Max?” There’s nothing I love more than being with my niece and nephews. The two older kids are bundles of boundless energy. I don’t know where they get it from. They’re exhausting, but in a good way.

  Almost as soon as the words are out of my mouth, she’s dropping the baby into my arms. “Sure, why don’t you give him to Liam so I can get more food out onto the table. Looks like things are running low.”

  “No problem.” I cuddle his soft little four-month-old body close to mine before inhaling a great big breath of baby in the process. As I do, everything within me instantly settles, just like it always does.

  Max is like taking a handful of Xanax.

  Totally addictive and completely necessary.

  Especially when JT Higgins is in the vicinity.

  King of Campus

  Now Available!

  Chapter One

  Ladies, and a few guys as well, ;) keep those Roan King sightings pouring
in. Especially the ones of him at football practice. Hot, sweaty, with an extra shot of gorgeous is exactly how I take my Roan King. Don’t mind me while I type away with one hand… KingOfCampus.com

  “Honey,” I holler at the top of my lungs before kicking the door shut, “I’mmmm home!”

  Those words are met with a loud shriek as Lexie flies around the corner before hurtling her small curvy body at me. I’m given roughly two seconds to drop my bags in anticipation of impact. She’s lucky I have fairly decent-

  The breath gets knocked right out of me as we both go crashing to the floor.

  Apparently reflexes are no match when that much force and weight are careening towards you at the speed of light. Physics, I’m guessing, is exactly how I end up sprawled on my back with my best friend and roommate spread out on top of me in our brand-spanking-new apartment. There’s a completely manic light filling her big brown eyes. Matching the look, I can’t help but beam right back up at her because it is so freaking good to see her gorgeous face.

  It’s been precisely fifteen months since we’ve been in the same room together. Actually, it’s been fifteen months since we’ve been on the same continent. I spent my sophomore year of college studying abroad in Paris.

  Needless to say, it was just as amazing and spectacular as you’d imagine it would be. Even thinking about it leaves me with a tiny little pang of nostalgia for the life I’d just left behind.

  “Damn, now that’s hot! Can I snap a shot for my wallpaper?”

  We both turn to stare at the tall, good looking male grinning… or maybe the correct term would be- leering down at us. His eyes slide oh-so-slowly over our entwined bodies as if he’s trying to singe this moment into his memory… for all eternity. But it’s not in a pervy way… what the heck am I saying? Of course, it’s in a pervy way. Which is precisely when I realize that my dear friend, Lexie, seems to be missing the lower half of her outfit.

  Yep… she’s only wearing panties.

  Smothering a giggle, she clears her throat. Rather impressively, her voice whips out in a perfect imitation of a mother scolding her three year old toddler. “You damn well better not snap a picture or you won’t be seeing this ass for a very long time.” To emphasize this point, she gives it a little shake and her boyfriend groans in response.

  “Please?” There’s a whole lot of whine filling his deep masculine voice. Which is kind of hilarious because he’s well over six feet tall and is seriously broad in the chest and shoulders. This one is definitely all man. Lexie, of course, filled me in via Skype on the football playing boyfriend she acquired about seven months ago. Needless to say, she wasn’t exaggerating.

  He’s pretty damn hot.

  If you’re into big and muscly…

  Which I’m not going to lie… I am.

  “The mental snap shot you’re burning into your brain right now will have to suffice.”

  Folding his muscular arms in front of an equally solid looking chest, he grumbles under his breath, “You always have to be such a hard ass.”

  Lexie gives me a little wink. “You wouldn’t have it any other way, babe.”

  “True,” he finally sighs in agreement, “very true.”

  Since Lexie isn’t showing any indication of removing herself from my person anytime soon, I’m forced to point out the obvious. “You might want to get off me before your boyfriend has an embarrassing moment in his shorts.”

  I’m joking, of course.

  Sort of.

  “You don’t have to get off her on my account,” he quickly chimes in as he continues to ogle us.

  Lexie rolls her eyes at me.

  “Have I mentioned just how hot you look in that thong?” His voice sounds all heated up and I’m seriously considering shoving Lexie off me before something unfortunate, not to mention awkward, happens and I’m no longer able to look this dude in the eyes ever again.

  “Jeez, Lex, did you have to molest me while only wearing a thong?” No wonder her boyfriend is all but sporting a woody over there.

  “Be happy you didn’t arrive ten minutes later, I wouldn’t be wearing anything at all.”

  I shake my head just a bit to loosen that mental image from my brain. “That wasn’t something I really needed to know.”

  Continuing to grin down at me, Lexie smacks my lips with a big wet sloppy kiss. “Goddamn but I missed you, Ivy.” Then she does her damnedest to squeeze the very life out of me before finally rolling gracefully to her side.

  “I’m glad to be back, too.” Even as the words automatically spill from my mouth, I realize that I don’t necessarily mean them. There’s a fairly large part of me that wishes I were still living my life in Paris. With an ocean between me and my dad, I didn’t have to dwell on him and the new family he created for himself so quickly after my mom died.

  My dad’s life carried on while mine fell apart. And even though it’s been five years since she died, the ache still feels painfully tender. What being back here at Barnett means is that I no longer have an excuse not to visit them.

  Shaking those thoughts away, I realize I’m still sprawled out on the carpeted floor. I blink my eyes a few times as a handsome face peers down at me before crinkling into a large friendly smile. But I don’t bother hoisting myself up just yet. Instead, I say in my most formal tone, “Mr. Sullivan, I presume.”

  His grin intensifies, making him appear even more striking than I’d originally thought. Lexie had, quite naturally, gushed about how gorgeous her new guy was. And it’s not like I didn’t believe her, but… it’s quite obvious she wasn’t exaggerating.

  Like at all.

  Because Dylan Sullivan is seriously hot.

  Golden blond hair, deep brown eyes, sculpted jaw, and athletic body.

  And according to Lexie, he treats her like a total princess. Which is exactly how it should be. Lexie deserves someone who appreciates just how smart, loyal, and gorgeous she is. She’s a damn good friend and I’m lucky to have her in my life.

  “The one and only,” he beams in response, throwing a flirty little wink in for good measure.

  Oh, this guy is totally dangerous all right…

  Could they be more perfectly suited to one another?

  I absolutely love it.

  “Umm, isn’t your father Dylan Sullivan the first?”

  He shrugs his big broad shoulders at Lexie’s question. Self admittedly, I’m kind of a shoulder and arm girl myself. And Dylan Sullivan certainly has nicely chiseled ones.

  “Shhh, you’re ruining the moment, babe.”

  That being said, Dylan offers me a big hand, which I grab hold of, before being immediately hauled off the floor and set back onto my sandaled feet. I dust my backside off before my gaze slides back to Lexie. The unexpected glassy sheen of tears shining in her big brown eyes has my own widening in confusion.

  “Lex, why are you-”

  I don’t even get a chance to wrap my lips around the last word before she’s once again hurtling herself in my direction. Her arms slip quickly around my body before tugging me close.

  “I missed you, Ivy-Girl,” she whispers fiercely against my ear, “so damn much! Fifteen months is a long time to stay away. Don’t ever leave me like that again.”

  I’m not normally an emotional person, but her heartfelt words have me suddenly choking up. I squeeze her to me, feeling just as happy to be back here with her as she is to have me.

  Pulling back to search my eyes, she quietly admits, “I was afraid you might decide to stay over there.”

  That just goes to show you how well Lexie knows me. What I don’t mention is that I tried my damnedest to make that happen. To finish out college, find a permanent place to live, a dance gig, all so I could postpone coming home indefinitely. Because being back here, even though this is a new apartment, still reminds me that my mom is dead and my dad has moved on and I no longer have a home to return to.

  Not one that feels like home used to feel.

  “I’m just so glad you’re final
ly back.”

  “Me, too,” I whisper as hot licks of emotion prick the back of my eyes. I hug her tightly one last time before finally releasing her.

  Lexie and I have been best friends since fourth grade when her family moved in down the block from mine. We made it through middle and high school with our friendship intact and decided to apply at some of the same colleges so we could room together. Luckily Barnett was on both of our short lists. It has a highly regarded fashion design program for Lexie and a kick ass dance program for me.

  There’s absolutely no one in this world I can count on like Lexie Abbott. I’m actually a little ashamed of myself for failing to remember that. I guess in trying to escape all the painful memories, I forgot about the good stuff too.

  Lexie backs up until she’s standing directly in front of Dylan. As soon as she’s close enough, he wraps those huge arms around her before pulling her flush against the front of his body. Looking ridiculously contented, he settles his chin on top of her head like he’s done it a hundred times before.

  Like it’s the most natural thing in the world.

  I can’t help but feel thrilled that Lexie has finally found someone who appreciates the amazing woman she’s grown into.

  Unwilling to get anymore sappy than I already have, I shake my head. “Do you two come with barf bags? Because I’ve only been here for about ten minutes and you’re already making me sick to my stomach.”

  They both flash big white cheesy grins at me. I want to roll my eyes before sticking my finger down my throat like I’m going to puke. “I suppose you’re going to be practically living here with us?” Yep, I can already see how this is going to go. Dylan will be our unofficial apartment mascot.

  With big innocent eyes, she says, “Didn’t I mention that Dylan lives in the apartment next to us with two guys from the football team?”

  “Nope,” I shake my head, “you definitely did not mention that. I guess that makes things convenient.”