Breaking Boundaries (SEAL Team Heartbreakers Book 5)

by Teresa Reasor

Kathleen couldn’t bear it any longer and scooted closer to lay a hand on his shoulder.

  Cal dropped his hand and continued. “By the third day when the nurse came in and offered me my pills, I took them. But anything I could do on my own, I did without help. I’m not saying it was all smooth sailing, emotionally, physically.”

  He focused on her, his expression earnest. “It was hard at first. I had to fight the feelings that I didn’t really deserve to live, to have a life. After I got my prosthetic and got up on my feet, I started to see all the other guys around me struggling to move on and realized I wasn’t the only one going through that shit.

  “There was this one guy. He’d stepped on an IED and lost both legs above the knee, his arm had been shredded but they managed to save it, though he was doing physical therapy to recover more range of motion and strength in it. He just wouldn’t give up. We talked about everything, nothing held back like you do with the doctor or your family, but the whole, naked truth. He made me see I was alive and going to stay that way, and I needed to get on with it. That I couldn’t go back to that moment in the Humvee and change anything, and I had to accept it.”

  “I still have a temper, Kathleen, but I don’t blow up anymore. I still have PTSD, but I’m not depressed, and I still see a counselor twice a month to keep tabs on how I’m doing.”

  Quick tears pricked her eyes as understanding hit her. Cal wasn’t reticent because he wanted to hide anything, but because he felt things so acutely. She had guessed this before, but she was seeing it now.

  His blue-green eyes looked almost gray-blue with emotion. “I just wanted you to know the real story instead of the fairy tale Nora Harper settled for.”

  Seeing he was ready for her to be close, Kathleen wiggled over and pressed against his side. Her heart ached for him, at the same time a deep relief took hold. He’d trusted her enough to share his pain with her. He was finally lowering his emotional boundaries like he had his physical ones.

  “Thank you for telling me, Callahan.” When she brushed his cheek with her lips, Cal turned and they came together in a kiss, soft, comforting, but Cal lingered over the caress. His tongue slipped forward to reach for hers. He tasted of beer and Cal, sensual and heady. Kathleen’s pulse surged, her cheeks heated and she cupped his jaw.

  Despite his reticence, Callahan was a better lover and boyfriend than Lee had ever been. She thought less and less about her ex and more and more about the man next to her. The buoyant happiness she experienced when she was with him was almost too much.

  She sent out a hopeful prayer: Please don’t let this crash and burn.

  Cal broke the kiss long enough to set the beer on the coffee table and go back for more. “I need to be inside you, Kathleen.”

  God, that husky voice did it for her. She was already wet and ready for him. She tugged his shirt free of his jeans while he worked her shirt buttons, his fingers trembling. That small outward show of how much he wanted her pushed her desire higher. She hurriedly finished the last few buttons and tugged the blouse off. Cal nipped her shoulder, then smoothed it with his tongue. Her breathing went ragged at the small caress. Kathleen struggled to free herself from her bra while he ditched his shirt.

  “I love that you wear skirts,” he said as he rucked the skirt up, baring her thighs. With a tug he had her on her back and the fabric bunched up around her waist. The leather felt cool against her bare buttocks, his hands hot as they slid up the outside of her thighs. “Just the thought of you nearly naked under your clothes drives me crazy.” Cal braced his left foot on the floor as he slid the lacy thong down her legs and off.

  Kathleen sat up and reached for his belt. She unfastened it, unzipped his jeans. His erection bulged beneath his boxer briefs, and she worked them down so it popped free and jutted forward. Cal dug his wallet out of his back pocket and jerked out a condom. He tossed the wallet aside and it went skittering across the coffee table and off the other side. He tore the condom open and rolled it down over his penis.

  He bent to kiss her and Kathleen looped her arms up his back to tug him down to her. “Not yet, Rose.” He kissed her with long, slow, thoroughness. Then slid down to taste each beaded nipple and roll them with his tongue. Kathleen stroked the back of his neck. When he sucked, tempting sparks burrowed into secret areas of her body, making her ache, and she lifted her hips in response.

  Cal braced his arm next to her and lowered his body over her own. “Every time I call you Rose, I think of how you look down here,” Cal murmured, against her throat. Finding her with his fingertips, he brushed back and forth across her sensitive clit with a touch so gentle it drove her nearly mad and her stomach muscles contracted.

  She fisted her hands against his shoulder blades to keep from scratching him. “Cal, please.”

  “You’re dewy and pink, just waiting to be caressed, kissed. There isn’t enough room on the couch for me to do it, but I promise I’ll kiss you there next time we make love, Rose.”

  Her body clenched at the visual he painted of his head between her legs and could almost feel his mouth on her at the mere thought. How was it possible he could arouse her beyond bearing with just words? He eased the head of his penis inside her. She caught her breath at the sensation and ran her hands down his back. She raised her hips, wanting all of him, tempted beyond reason. He thrust in all the way and rocked his hips. Just that first sweep of sensation was enough, and she bucked beneath him as she climaxed.

  Kathleen opened her eyes to find him watching her.

  “God, you’re beautiful when you come for me. Let’s try it again.” He rocked back, nearly leaving her, then thrust forward again. She captured his rhythm. He seemed to lose himself in the motion, the intensity of his movements rocking her as the leather beneath her held her in place. Her own arousal built again, rising up to meet his while he swelled and hardened inside her. The moment she felt the contraction of his release, her own hit her like a tsunami and she cried out.

  Afterwards Kathleen stroked Cal’s back as his heart pounded against her and his hot, moist breath fanned her neck. The longer she laid there with his weight poised above her the more time she had to think about all the romantic, seductive things he’d said to her since they’d been dating. He could seduce any woman he wanted. All he had to do was open his mouth, and the most erotic things came out. Why weren’t women crawling out of the woodwork to be with him? He was gorgeous, had a silver tongue in more ways than one, and all the right moves.

  Was she just one of a long line of women he’d done this with?

  She kept her tone conversational, though a deep-seated betrayal began to build in her mind. “How long have you been practicing this technique of seduction through vocal visualization, Callahan?”

  Cal raised his head to look down at her, his eyes, heavy-lidded and drowsy, projecting a sexy as hell masculine satisfaction. “What are you talking about, Kathleen?”

  “Your erotic talk, during sex. How do you know what to say to get me primed?”

  His gaze swept her face. “I just tell you what arouses me when I look at you.”

  How could she be pissed about that? But she was, and she couldn’t quite put her finger on exactly why. No—she knew exactly why she was pissed.

  “Have you done this with other women?”

  “No.”

  “No?” she repeated, her tone a blend of challenge and surprise.

  “No.” His eyes never shifted from her face.

  “Why do you do it with me?”

  “If you don’t want me to do it anymore, I’ll stop.” He shifted and looked over his shoulder at something.

  That idea didn’t suit her either. She loved the way he made her feel when he… “Why do you do it with me?”

  “Do we have to discuss this now? I’m stuck.”

  “Stuck for an explanation.”

  “No. Physically stuck.”

  She could feel Cal was still inside her, but growing soft so he couldn’t be stuck. “Stuck how?”

&n
bsp; “I’ve wedged my prosthetic foot into the couch somehow, and I’m going to have to give it a jerk to get it free, and I can’t because I’ll hit you with my knee. So you’re going to have to slide out from under me.”

  Kathleen bit her lip to keep from laughing. She couldn’t laugh. It might hurt Cal’s feelings. She hid her face against his shoulder until the urge went away. She glanced up to find him grinning.

  “Hopefully, the first of many adventures of making love with you while keeping my prosthetic on.”

  He was offering her an olive branch. The urge to laugh died. “Making love with you is always an adventure, Callahan.”

  “Now who’s seducing who?” he shot back. He eased back on his knees and slid free of her body.

  Using her arms she pushed up into a sitting position, then slid her leg free from behind his hip. She swiveled her legs over the side of the couch and scooped her blouse up off the floor. With a wiggle she tugged her skirt down and then shrugged into her blouse.

  “I’m amazed at how you can go from sexy as hell to businesswoman in a matter of seconds,” he commented.

  She pointed a finger at him. “You are not going to distract me, Cal. We will continue this conversation.” She assessed how he’d wedged his foot between the back of the couch and the cushion. “Lean forward on your hands,” she instructed.

  He jerked his jeans up over his bare backside and did so. She reached behind him and gripped the metal pylon of his prosthetic. It was the first time she had touch it since feeling the edge of the socket during their first date. The cold metal was so foreign compared to the rest of Cal’s body. She set aside the quick jab of grief and gave the limb a tug, freeing his sock-covered foot shell.

  “Thanks.” Cal adjusted his clothing. When he shifted from the couch to his feet, he favored the knee a few steps before his gait evened out and he disappeared into the bedroom.

  Kathleen grabbed her bra off the back of the couch and picked her thong up off the floor. Determination in every step, she followed him into the bedroom just as he disappeared into the bathroom. She hurriedly shimmied back into her thong and removed her blouse to put her bra on.

  Once dressed, her armor was back in place. She took a seat on the edge of the bed, facing the bathroom door. They were going to resolve this issue between them or she was going to leave. Because she couldn’t live with believing in someone and having them betray her. Not again.

  Then another thought came to her. Was this about the email more than his sexy talk? No…Maybe… Or was this more of the pathological distrust Lee had bred with his betrayal? She leaned forward and rested her head in her hands. She didn’t know anymore.

  *

  Cal disposed of the condom and cleaned up. He opened the door and paused for a moment to study Kathleen as she sat on the edge of the bed. Shit! He could tell from her expression she had overthought every word he’d said to her. Why had he ever taken Julio’s and Hector’s advice? Because he hadn’t wanted her to walk away without giving him a chance. And at the time he’d thought it might be his only shot.

  “To try and explain will spoil the romance for you, Kathleen.”

  “What will spoil things for me, Callahan, is continuing to feel manipulated.”

  He drew a deep breath. “That isn’t what I intended.” He left the bathroom doorway to sit on the bed next to her. “I wanted to make you feel desired.”

  He leaned forward to rest his elbows on his knees. “I’m not him, Kathleen. I’m not a player, a liar, or a womanizer. I’m not out to manipulate you to get what I want, or disrespect you. I care about you, and I want you to care about me. I want to be with you, not as a notch on my bedpost, but because we fit together in so many ways.”

  With each word, he could see her anger slip away. She folded her arms around her in a defensive posture. Finally she turned her face aside so he couldn’t read her expression.

  “The first time we were together, taking my prosthetic off…It’s worse than being naked, Kathleen. It’s like laying your soul bare. Do you think I could do that with just any woman? That I would want to leave myself open to rejection again?”

  “No, I don’t believe that.” She leaned forward to rest her head in her hands for a moment. “I’m trying to leave it behind, Cal, but sometimes things get inside my head.”

  “I know how it works Kathleen. I’ve gone through the same thing myself.” He wished to God he hadn’t, but he had.

  “I’m always on the defensive…looking for things.” She finally sat up to face him. “Did you really mean everything you said?”

  “Every word.” He forced a smile he didn’t feel. “Rule number one. Never lie to a woman; she may forgive, but she won’t forget, and it will come back to bite you.”

  “Damn straight. We have memories like elephants. Better than elephants.” Her buoyant tone fell flat.

  Cal reached for her hand and was relieved when she allowed him to take it. “What makes you believe I didn’t mean what I said, Kathleen?”

  She remained silent for a long moment. “It had nothing to do with you, Cal, and everything to do with me.” She swallowed. “Three months before I ended things, he started making remarks about—my body. Tamara is tall and thin and beautiful. But it turned out she wasn’t enough for him, either. I don’t think anyone will ever be enough. But…he wanted me to be different in a way I couldn’t be. Toward the end I was practically starving myself, trying to please him. When I caught them together, I finally understood.”

  But the damage had already been done. Cal slipped an arm around her and held her close. Had she cried, he’d have felt better, but she curled into him instead and remained dry-eyed.

  “You know how guys always say they’re boob men or butt men?” he asked.

  “Yeah.”

  “That isn’t my sweet spot, Kathleen.”

  “What is?”

  “Besides your mouth?” He smiled as quick color touched her cheeks. “I found my sweet spot the first time we made love.”

  She studied his face for a long moment before she asked, “What is it?”

  He reached for the buttons on her blouse and was amazed when she didn’t pull away. He slid her bra strap out of the way. “It’s right here.” He trailed the back of his fingers down the slope of her shoulder to the top of her breast. “I could spend days just nestled right in there with my face pressed against your skin, breathing in the way you smell and tasting you.”

  Kathleen bit her lip, fighting a smile. “You are a strange man, Callahan.”

  “You’re probably right.”

  “I don’t want you to stop telling me what turns you on.” Her cheeks got redder.

  “Good. I don’t think I could resist anyway.” He was addicted to it. Addicted to pleasing Kathleen.

  Her hand skimmed his while he refastened the buttons her blouse. “Why did you start?”

  Hector and Julio had shared the idea, but Kathleen had been the inspiration. “When we met at the coffee shop and you were embarrassed by the ink stains on your fingers.” She nodded. “It was the way you responded when I kissed your fingertips. I was turned on the rest of the night.”

  Kathleen sighed. “So was I.”

  Relief lightened his mood while he and Kathleen fixed a meal together and ate. She seemed to have sloughed off her earlier upset. “Why don’t you go get my laptop out of the bedroom and bring it in here? While I clean up you can go through the video and see if there’s anything likely to cause me or the company an issue.”

  “Okay.”

  He had just pushed the button to run the dishes when Kathleen came into the kitchen and placed the laptop on the counter. “Cal, you didn’t sign the release so someone posted the address to the video on Nora Harper’s site and the show’s site, Harping on the Truth. You’ve had over three thousand shares and at least two hundred comments since it was done.”

  “That—” He bit back the word. He ought to have known she’d find a way to get around him. She was probably pissed a
bout the parting shot he’d gotten in. “Take it down, Kathleen.”

  “I think you need to read some of the comments, before I do. Some of them are pro and con regarding hiring disabled personnel, but most of them are about you.”

  “What about me?”

  Her smile held a hint of amusement. “Read them and find out.”

  Wariness took root, and he was slow to approach the computer. He read the first comment, “OMG, that is one hunk of manly male. He can come work on my house any time,” then the second “He looks like he can get the job done.” The farther down the list he went, the more suggestive the comments became. One commenter even posted her phone number. Didn’t she know how dangerous that was?

  He glanced up to see Kathleen watching with a smile. “These women are crazy.” He shook his head. “I’m a construction worker, not a male stripper.

  “I feel so used,” he complained in an exaggerated aggrieved tone and flashed her a grin.

  Kathleen giggled.

  He read a few more and ran across one that disturbed him. “Just because he lost a leg in a war zone doesn’t make him a hero. He lived when three other men died. Why was he spared? He promised to watch their back. If that wasn’t enough, he caused their families even more grief.” He hoped Kathleen hadn’t seen that one. And how had the writer known about any of the particulars of what had happened or that he’d visited the families? The television show hadn’t aired yet.

  Was it someone in one of the men’s families? He’d lived through the hell of survivor’s guilt, and the grief of losing his men. Some of what the commenter said brought it all back.

  He tried to control his tone when he said, “Take it down. If the guys at work see it, I’ll never hear the end of it.”

  “If you’re sure.”

  “Positive.”

  Kathleen tugged the computer over to her. She typed in some info, a password, and selected the video and deleted it. “All gone. But there’s still a copy on my computer at the house if you need it.”

  “Thanks.”

  He tried to shake off the emotions the comment had triggered.

  “I just wanted you to read some of them so you’d know there are women out there like me who see more than a prosthetic when they look at you, Cal.”