Survival

by J Marie

  I was so frustrated with him and the conversation that I just buried my face into his shirt and silently groaned to myself. I hated him so fucking much; I just wanted to choke the life right out of him.

  “Do you understand me?” he nearly growled.

  “Yes,” I stifled against his shirt.

  “Good, now what did your daddy do for a living?”

  Daddy … Pfft. Another word I never used.

  I might have loved my dad, but I was never a “daddy’s girl.”

  “He was a mechanic,” I replied. “For GM.”

  “So he was a grease monkey, too, huh?”

  “Yeah, I guess.”

  “Did he ever teach you anything?”

  “I’m no rookie when it comes to an engine, if that’s what you mean.”

  “Why did your dad take so much interest in you doing things that are clearly meant for boys?”

  “Well, that’s awfully sexist of you,” I said, not surprised at all. “He taught my brothers and me the same things, and he wanted me to be as resourceful as I possibly could, and I was eager for the knowledge. I would never say no if he wanted to teach me something. Besides, you already knew I was not a girly girl. I preferred trucks to dolls. There’s nothing wrong with a girl learning the same things as boys.”

  “Says you.”

  “Does it bother you that I enjoy and know so much about interests and skills that are typically dominated by men?”

  “I honestly don’t know how I feel about it. I’m used to the innocence and frailty of women, which is why I’m probably so drawn to you. You’re so wildly different from that, and it amuses me.”

  “Yes, I am not your average girl, which is why you shouldn’t be so surprised by my lack frailty or femininity. I enjoy a more exhilarating lifestyle than most girls do, but that doesn’t make me less of a woman because of it.”

  “It just seems too dangerous. I worry about you getting hurt.”

  “Boys get hurt just as much as girls do.”

  “Yes, but girls are much more fragile.”

  “That’s because you grew up without any sisters to prove to you otherwise. Do I really seem fragile to you?”

  “You may not come off as fragile, but you are.”

  “I’m not the delicate little flower you make me out to be. I think I’ve proved that more than once. Besides, you certainly don’t treat me like a delicate little flower.”

  He chuckled then. “I suppose that’s true.”

  “I’m unlike any girl you’ll ever meet, Darren. I really am one of a kind. If you’d loosen the reins, you may just get to see it one day.”

  “We’ll see.”

  We were silent for a bit, and I was grateful that Darren let the topic slide for now, but I knew it would probably come back again in the near future. And just when everything seemed to calm down, Darren reached for my right wrist and laid it down on his chest. I kept my fingers clenched into a tight fist hoping he wouldn't notice.

  “Jaden, open your hand,” he said darkly.

  I groaned, knowing I was in for it now. Slowly, I opened my hand and revealed the filed down nail that I had tried so desperately to hide.

  “Goddamn it, girl.” He sighed, setting his head back on the hammock and exhaling heavily.

  “It was an accident!”

  Jesus, I sounded like a fucking child.

  “And do you know why it happened? Because you disobeyed me again and trained instead of just working out. Don’t think I wasn’t watching you in there.”

  “Goddamn it, Darren, I can’t help it! I have a skill set that I have worked hard to achieve, and I don't want to forget it. Why can’t you just understand that?”

  “Because I don’t have to understand shit if I don’t want to. That's the beauty of my position over you.”

  I released an annoyed sigh at him but kept my mouth shut.

  “And it’s not the fact that you train, Jaden. It’s why.”

  I let out a long slow breath and forced the words out.

  “I just don’t want to forget myself,” I whispered, fighting back tears. “Please ... you’ve already taken away so much. Please, don’t take this from me, too.”

  He was silent for a long time, his big chest rising up and down as he considered my words. I felt my fingers grip his t-shirt as I hoped like hell he would find it in his heart to let me have something. Just one thing of myself that I could keep.

  “I have a feeling if I say no,” he began, “that you’ll turn into a depressed little mouse and I simply can’t have that. I enjoy your fire far too much.”

  “Is that a yes?” I peaked in excitement.

  “It’s a conditional yes,” he said. "If you want to continue training, I expect a huge improvement in your behavior. Is that clear?”

  “Thank you, Darren. I promise you won't regret it.”

  Actually, he would. Eventually.

  “You are still not allowed in my training room. That has not, nor will it ever, change.”

  “Okay.” I nodded against him.

  “You realize I’m still going to punish you for breaking that nail, though, right?”

  A heavy breath of depression escaped my lungs as I sank into myself. “Do you really have to?” I whined.

  “Yes,” he said seriously. “Because now I have to schedule those Russians to come back and fix what you broke much earlier than they're supposed to.”

  “Honestly, you should just let me do my own nails. Contrary to popular belief, I’m not completely helpless when it comes to manicures, you know.”

  “Really?” he said amused. “And here I thought you didn’t have a single girly bone in your body.”

  “Yeah, well, my mom saw to that.”

  “Well, that’s a relief.”

  We laid there for a little while longer before I started to get hungry again, and I heard Darren's stomach rumble with mine.

  “All right, come on. Let’s head back,” he said getting up and helping me out of the hammock. “But first,” he said pointing at a large tree. “Bend over and put your hands on the tree.”

  My heart thumped in my throat as I looked back at him and then the tree, confused and scared as I watch him pull his belt from the loops of his jeans.

  “Oh, God, Darren, please no. My ass can’t take anymore,” I pleaded, backing away as I glared at the belt in his hand. I couldn’t take any more contact against my ass. I could barely sit as it was.

  “You should have thought of that before you broke more of my rules,” he stated calmly.

  “But it was an accident!” I pleaded further, sounding so pathetic.

  “One more word and your five will turn into ten. Now, move.” He pointed at the tree.

  I almost started to cry. This was fucking humiliating and my stomach boiled with fear and rage as I bent over and hugged the tree as if my life depended on it.

  Darren came over to me and pulled my dress up, exposing my bare ass, and grazed his palms over my already bruised skin. “I don’t need to tell you to count because it should be routine for you now.”

  And then he folded his belt and smacked it hard on my ass. I gasped out loud as the pain seared into my tender flesh. There was no fucking way I would be sitting down well into next week.

  “One,” I gasped.

  But instead of another smack, he massaged the globes of my ass first before delivering another slice through the air and landing on my other cheek. I felt my legs buckle and I held on to the stupid tree even harder.

  “Two.”

  Another massage and then another strike, this time landing on the top of my ass. The massaging didn’t even help that much, just redistributed the heat through my fucked-up skin. My ass was burning all over again.

  “Three.” I cringed.

  Two more strikes came down, and after each time, he massaged where he made contact, only dulling the pain for a short second before delivering the fifth and final strike.

  “Five,” I groaned.

  But the
n another one came and I wasn’t prepared for it. Completely blindsided by his lie, I screamed in agony as the last one hurt more than any of the other ones had. My ass felt as if I had dipped it in acid, and a single silent tear fell down my cheek as he finally put his belt back through the loops of his jeans and pulled my dress back down over my throbbing ass.

  “That last one was for hesitating. Don't ever do it again, understand?”

  “Yes, Darren,” I said, still keeping myself bent over at the tree.

  “Good girl. Now, let’s go.”

  He took my hand and my ass pulsed with pain the whole way as we walked back to the house. Every step brought with it a wince and an uncontrollable urge to cry, and it was the first time I actually found it difficult to keep up with his pace. He eventually took out his phone, texted something, and placed it back in his pocket. If only I could get to that damn thing, I might have a chance at getting the hell out of here.

  When we got back to the house, our lunch was already set out for us on the patio and, by the grace of God, there was a rather large pillow resting on one of the chairs with two large bags of frozen peas. Darren sat down and I slowly eased myself into the chair. The frozen bags did wonders for me. It did not numb the pain entirely, but I found it easier to deal with.

  As we ate our lunch in silence, Darren fiddled on his phone and I watched the waves of the ocean crash over one another, spreading all over the powdery white sand. I wanted to explore the entire beach, the forest, and everything else that surrounded this beautiful fucking prison of mine, but I doubted I would be allowed the privilege any time soon.

  At least I had won my ability to continue training, assuming I was ever afforded the opportunity. If I was going to be stuck in my room all day, I’d have to adapt to a new way of training if I wanted to stay fit and keep my skills sharp.

  Once our lunch was finished, Darren stood quickly, a smirk growing across his face. “Come on. I have an idea on how we can spend our afternoon.”

  Oh, no.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  A Little Game

  “Let’s play a little game,” Darren said, selecting a pool cue. He had brought us down to the basement and directed me to the pool table. I leaned against the bar while he moved to rack the cue balls. “For every ball we sink, we get to ask the other a question. Any question they want. Sound fun?”

  “Sure,” I said, narrowing my eyes at him and walking over to the cues. Luckily for me, I was an ace at pool. “What happens when I win?” I asked confidently.

  The smirk on his face was priceless, and he laughed a little out loud. “Well, isn’t that cute,” he said patronizing me as usual. I shrugged it off, not letting him get to me as I stared at him seriously. “How about I let you decide what color you want your nails painted next?” he sneered with a smart-ass smile on his face. I felt mine heat up with rage.

  “And if you win, how about I let you decide what color pen I’m going to stab you with?” I said quickly with a smile without even thinking. And then I instantly cringed with regret.

  Goddamn it, where was my filter! I was suddenly terrified after what I said, but Darren laughed as if it was the funniest thing he’d ever heard.

  “You just love getting your ass beat, don’t you?” He chuckled, shaking his head at me.

  My eyes lit up as he gunned it for me and I almost ran for it out of instinct, but he was at my side before I could even turn my body away from him. My insides curled in as he grabbed the back of my neck and bent me over the pool table. I gasped in fear as his hand came down and swiped hard against my ass. I groaned loudly at the contact, digging my nails into the table as I bit back my cries, pain flaring up in my ass all over again.

  “You’re a slow learner, Jaden. I thought you would have had this figured out by now,” he said walking away from me and grabbing his cue.

  I righted myself and rubbed my ass. “Yeah, well, I’m still installing my mouth filter.”

  “Well, you’d better get it taken care of before I install it myself,” he warned.

  I nodded, my eyes now finding comfort in the floor.

  “Would you like to break?” he then asked me, eying me carefully.

  I suddenly paused at the question, almost taking it completely in another direction. I felt my breath catch in my lungs as my heart skipped a single beat. Did I want to break? Fuck, no. Not possible. But I would break this fucking set.

  “Sure,” I said, glancing at him only briefly as I walked over to the table.

  The only thing I wanted to break right now was his fucking skull open.

  I lined the cue ball up and slammed so much force into the thing that it busted every single ball out of its perfect formation. Scattering them all across the table, I managed to get a solid in. As I walked around to line my next shot up, I asked my first question.

  “So ... what got you started in martial arts?”

  Darren chuckled. “I suppose you can thank my father for that. He wanted his sons to be ultimate killing machines since he dealt in such a dangerous business.”

  Pfft … ultimate killing machine, my ass.

  “Hmm ..." I said, thrusting the pool cue into the ball and watching as it rolled into the pocket. “So, what makes you the ultimate killing machine, huh? What kind of training have you had?” I asked, still keeping my eyes on the table, determining my next shot, which there wasn't shit for now.

  Darren eyed me for a few seconds before he finally answered. He did say I could ask whatever I wanted.

  “I’ve trained in several different styles with private instructors from Ju Jitsu to Muay Thai to Judo, to name a few. I’ve gone through extensive tactical weapons and combat training as well as achieved an advanced automotive proficiency as a child. And, if you really want to know, I also have an expertise in various techniques of torture thanks to my broad study of the human anatomy and a desensitization to blood and gore.”

  For a moment, all I could do was blink at him.

  “Jesus,” I said, staring at him in shock. “You really didn’t have a childhood, did you?” I asked. He wasn’t kidding when he said there wasn’t much time for him to be a child. I lined up my next shot but missed the pocket, probably too distracted by his latest answer. Damn it.

  “I believe it’ll be my turn to ask the questions now,” Darren replied with a grin.

  I leaned up against the bar and watched as Darren prepared his shot. Thrusting his cue, the ball bounced off the side of the table and rolled right into the left corner pocket. Damn, that was a tough shot to make. Apparently, he had some skill in shooting pool, too.

  “How old were you when you lost your virginity?” he asked me.

  Well, fuck, that was a personal question, and I furrowed my brows at him.

  “Seventeen,” I said.

  Darren rounded the table and analyzed his next shot before lining it up and sending the ball right into the side pocket.

  “Who did you lose it to?”

  I raised an eyebrow at him again, but he wasn’t looking at me as he was already making his next move.

  “I don’t know, some guy I was dating in high school,” I said, shrugging. I couldn’t even remember the fuck’s name.

  Darren landed another shot into the right corner pocket. Shit, he was beating me now.

  “Has anyone ever fucked that perfect ass of yours?” he said seriously, turning to look at me.

  “No.” I furrowed my brows at him as I stared him down incredulously. What the fuck?

  “Good.” He smiled. “That’s very good.”

  “Why?” I asked.

  “I don’t believe it’s your turn to ask the questions.”

  “Fine.”

  He lined up his shot but didn’t have anything to go for so he missed. Ha. My turn.

  I pushed off the bar and lined up the shot I had been eyeballing and landed that motherfucker perfectly down the table into the right corner pocket.

  “Why is it important that I’ve never let anyone fuck me in t
he ass?” I was wasting my question on this, but I really wanted to know while it was still fresh on the table.

  “Because it’s just another part of you that I’m going to claim. Eventually, I’m going to pop that backdoor cherry of yours. I may not be able to claim that pussy’s virginity, but that ass is still up for the taking. And if it wasn’t so much of a serious inconvenience, I’d kill the motherfucker who already stole it from me.”

  “He didn’t steal it. I gave it to him. A concept you seem to have a hard time grasping,” I said as I missed my next shot. Fuck. Surprisingly, he laughed at that.

  As Darren circled the table, I tried to ignore the fact that he wasn’t just going to enter my back door; he was going to kick it open until there was nothing left but a busted door hinge. God, he was going to ruin me.

  “Ever experiment with drugs?” he asked after shooting the ball into the center pocket.

  “Yes,” I said.

  Darren waited a few seconds then glared at me, obviously dissatisfied with my answer. “These aren’t just yes or no questions, you know.”

  “Perhaps you should have specified that while explaining the rules.”

  Darren started charging toward me with that look on his face and words started flying out of my mouth.

  “Weed! That’s it!” I said, stopping Darren in his tracks.

  “Much better,” he growled, turning back around and aligning his shot for the next ball. Missed.

  I circled the table and made my next shot quickly, pocketing that bitch like I owned it.

  “How about something serious for once. What would you have done had you not gone into the ‘family business’? If it was all your choice and your family played in no illegal activity?”

  He stood there for a second, almost confused by the question until he finally started thinking, and shrugged. “I don’t know. I don’t dwell much on what-ifs.”

  “You don’t know? Come on. There must be something.”

  “No, Jaden. There isn’t. There are no what-ifs in my world. There is only now. There’s no changing the past, so there’s no reason to dwell on it. We keep moving forward because that’s all anyone can ever do. I can’t imagine doing anything else because I know this is all I was ever meant for. I was born for this life, and I don’t regret a single second of it. ”